Sha’ar 2:2: Denial of Sin Being Worse Than Sin Itself

Towards the towards the end of os bais here in hashar hasheni rabosai,

ואם אינו איש מכיר מעבדיו ואינו יודע כי יש בידו עון אשר חטא.

A person on the one hand finds himself encountering and experiencing yisurim rachmana litzlan, and yet on the other hand, he's not aware of any cheit that could have precipitated it, so עליו לפשפש במעשיו ולחפש דרכיו. He should engage in that two-tiered cheshbon hanefesh that we spoke of a little bit yesterday, כענין שנאמר נחפשה דרכינו ונחקורה. The lashon makir, ואם אינו איש מכיר מעבדיו, so lehakir means to discern, to identify. When when the brothers bring the ksones to Yaakov Avinu, so they say הכר נא הכתונת בנך היא אם לא. And in fact the Torah describes Yaakov Avinu's identification, his discernment, his recognition as ויכירה ויאמר כתונת בני. So ואם אינו איש מכיר מעבדיו means that the person on the one hand really is seeing his chataim, but he's not recognizing them for what they are. That's what the that's what the phrase here in Rabbeinu Yonah means. ואם אינו איש מכיר מעבדיו, he's seeing, but he's not discerning, he's not recognizing, he's not identifying. So then in in such a in such a situation, so a person incurs an obligation to engage in a cheshbon hanefesh. Now if the results from this cheshbon hanefesh, or cheshbon hanefesh in quotation marks, ואם העלם יעלים עיניו ונואלו. I'm not sure I'm not sure what the the only subject that that seems to be present for no'alu is אשר נואלנו ואשר חטאנו, that we were foolish. So no'alu means that his eyes are foolish, eyes in representing the the thought behind one's eyes in terms of determining what one sees in the sense of lehakir and what one doesn't see. But if the person is foolish, ונסמו עיניו ולא הפרו דרכיו, and even as a result of his alleged cheshbon hanefesh, he doesn't annul his sinful ways. He doesn't recalibrate them. ולא ידע מעשה ידיו ואשר עשו אצבעותיו. The the lashon here is so so powerful, the description is so powerful. His denial is such that he doesn't know what what his own ten fingers have have perpetrated. It's not that he doesn't know something which is happening behind his back. What his own ten fingers are doing, the person doesn't recognize, he doesn't discern, he doesn't identify. Veyomar lo chatasi, and in the face of yisurim, the person stubbornly, brazenly maintains the position lo chatasi. איך בין נישט שולדיג, I didn't sin. Chataso kavda me'od. K'mo shene'emar the posuk in Yirmiyahu, הנני נשפט אותך על אמרך לא חטאתי. So there were three different reactions that that we've had in in here in os bais, three different reactions that Rabbeinu Yonah is is critiquing. One is when a person is visited by... The first one maybe the person associates yissurim with cheit, but he's not sufficiently motivated or galvanized to respond with teshuva. The second is like the Plish'tim, כי לא ידו נגעה בנו מקרה הוא היה לנו, that the person doesn't associate it with cheit. But this third group now is even worse. The third group not only doesn't associate yissurim with cheit, but there's a frontal brazen denial of cheit. Vayomer lo chatasi. So this third group is the most chamur of the groups Rabbeinu Yonah has been describing. More chamur, and this is such a powerful limud for us rabosai, more chamur than the cheit is the denial of the cheit. More chamur than cheit is the denial of the cheit, and that's what that pasuk in Yirmiyahu that Rabbeinu Yonah is quoting, הנני נשפט אותך על אמרך לא חטאתי. Now, if they're to be indicted for saying lo chatasi, so clearly that's not true. And yet the Ribono Shel Olam is highlighting first and foremost the lo chatasi over the cheit itself. The denial of cheit is worse than cheit itself. ונאמר ותלהטהו מסביב ולא ידע. You put everything on fire, you caused a conflagration to surround him, and he's impervious to it. ותבער בו ולא ישים על לב. And he doesn't take it to heart, it doesn't preoccupy his mind. ונאמר אולת אדם תסלף דרכו ועל ה' יזעף לבו. So first, a person's cheit cause him to live in a distorted fashion. Because of that, a person Rachmana litzlan then incurs yissurim, but because of his denial of cheit, so ועל ה' יזעף לבו. So then the person has tainos Rachmana litzlan to the Ribono Shel Olam for the yissurim. Kol z'man, and l'havdil one sees this in interpersonal relationships also, kol z'man that there's an openness, an awareness, or at least the potential for openness and awareness of recognizing fault, shortcoming, kol z'man that there's a willingness to say chatasi, or at least a willingness to be open to recognizing that, so then there's a path forward. In the context of interpersonal relationships, there's a path forward to improving that relationship, and l'havdil l'havdil in one's relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, there's a path forward for teshuva, all the chata'im Rachmana litzlan notwithstanding. Teshuva again, the chillukei kapara notwithstanding, but teshuva can overcome any and all obstacles. But there's one obstacle that's insurmountable, which if there's no openness or willingness to recognize the cheit. And that's why chataso kavda me'od, more chamur than cheit is the stubbornness and intransigence and the brazenness. To again, not just not bother to engage in cheshbon hanefesh, but to allegedly make a cheshbon hanefesh and say lo chatasi. Okay, we'll stop here for now, bli neder im yirtzeh Hashem today's Thursday, so we'll resume around 11:30 and try to understand a little bit the Rav's discussion of teshuva in Yeshayahu. Okay, rabosai, have a good productive morning, be well, be safe, see you all later, im yirtzeh Hashem, bli neder.