Searching for Spirituality Through Halacha

Thank you very much Rabbi Henkin and בראשות הרב מרא דאתרא. The Jewish tradition of humor tells the following apocryphal anecdote. A young, brilliant Talmid Chacham accepts his first shtele, his first position. And his reputation precedes him. He's known to be an astounding baki, a tremendous expert in Shas and Shulchan Aruch. And on his first day in the job, one of the women from the kehilla, from the community, comes with a question in treifus. The rav looks and looks and he's stymied, doesn't know what to do. So one of the older lamdonim in town, one of the older rabbonim in town, happens to be present and he whispers to him, "It's a machat bekorkovan," it's a needle embedded in the korkovan. So all of a sudden a look of relief and recognition comes over the rav's face and says, "Oh, had I known that was a machat bekorkovan, so I would have known what the din was." So the relevance of the story to us this evening is that to search for something, in our case, to search for spirituality, we have to have an understanding of what genuine spirituality is and where it is to be found. Otherwise, as was the case with the rav in the story, it may be looking us in the face and we simply won't recognize it. The Gemara in Berachos, let's approach with the following Gemara. The Gemara in Berachos tells us that women are obligated in the mitzvah of Kiddush on Shabbos. Now this is somewhat of a surprise because we would have expected following the general rule of מצוות עשה שהזמן גרמא that when you have a time-bound positive commandment, so women are generally exempt. So following that rule, we would have anticipated that women would be exempt from the mitzvah of Kiddush on Shabbos. Nevertheless, the Gemara derives that women are fully obligated in the mitzvah of Kiddush on Shabbos. What's the basis for this derivation? So we know that Chazal tell us a tradition that Hakadosh Baruch Hu at Har Sinai said zachor veshamor simultaneously, right? In the Aseres Hadibros as they appear in Parshas Yisro, so it says זכור את יום השבת לקדשו, remember the day of Shabbos to sanctify it, and the Aseres Hadibros when they're repeated in Parshas Vaeschanan, so it says שמור את יום השבת לקדשו, safeguard the day of Shabbos to sanctify it. So which did Hakadosh Baruch Hu say? Which version of the Aseres Hadibros is accurate and which is a paraphrase? So Chazal tell us, right, and we, thanks to Rabbi Shlomo Halevi Alkabetz, we say it every Friday night that שמור וזכור בדיבור אחד נאמרו that Hakadosh Baruch Hu pronounced shamor vezachor simultaneously. מה שאין הפה יכול לדבר ואין האוזן יכול לשמוע our capacity, the human capacity for speech and for hearing doesn't allow us to pronounce two words simultaneously and even to process it when Hakadosh Baruch Hu performs such a miracle. And yet this is how Hakadosh Baruch Hu expressed the Aseres Hadibros at the time. שמור וזכור בדיבור אחד נאמרו. So why did Hakadosh Baruch Hu do this? So the halakhic import of this pronunciation of shamor vezachor simultaneously is that it establishes an equation between the two. And that equation is, the Gemara tells us, כל שישנו בשמור ישנו בזכור, that whoever is included in the imperative of shamor, of safeguarding Shabbos, of abstaining from doing melacha on Shabbos, is also included in the imperative of zachor of Shabbos of making Kiddush. So since when it comes to mitzvos lo sa'asei, so women are always obligated. It doesn't matter whether or not the mitzvah is linked to a certain time in the calendar. So women are included in the obligation of shamor, so mimaileh, thank you, based on this heikesh, thank you very much, of כל שישנו בשמור ישנו בזכור, so women are obligated in the mitzvah of Kiddush as well. So that's what כל שישנו בשמור ישנו בזכור means on its most basic, thank you very much, means on its most basic, thank you very much, halakhic level. The Sfas Emes interprets this drasha agaddically as well. And the Sfas Emes says that on a deeper level, Chazal are also hinting at a very profound, profound... on principle and offering us a very important insight into religious life, into spiritual life. And that is shamor again, using a typology here. So shamor again, literally refers to the obligation to abstain from melacha on shabbos and more broadly in a symbolic, metaphorical sense represents the discipline of shabbos. The don'ts, you can't do this, you can't do this, it represents the discipline of shabbos. Zachor on the other hand, again, literally refers to the mitzvah of kiddush and symbolically refers to the more of the positive experience of shabbos, the davening of shabbos, the kiddush of shabbos, the singing niggunim of shabbos. The Sfas Emes says like this: what Chazal are telling us is kol sheyeshno beshamor. If someone is committed to the discipline of shabbos, if someone carefully, meticulously observes the shamor of shabbos, that person is yeshno beshamor, is meticulous, meticulous about making sure that he's complying with all the restrictions of melacha and all the restrictions of muktzah. So then such a person can be yeshno bezachor. Then such a person will be able to tap into the deep reservoirs of kedushas shabbos. But it's only if it's yeshno beshamor. Or in other words, what Chazal here are telling us is that kedusha for the Torah, spirituality is anchored in discipline of the Torah. And that it's only when we're anchored, when we have that foundation of the discipline of the Torah, only then can we experience genuine spirituality. The Ramban also presents this idea in context of kedushas shabbos. The Ramban in his commentary in Chumash on the Aseres Hadibros says that al pi kabbala the nighttime of shabbos corresponds to shamor. And that al pi kabbala the daytime of shabbos corresponds to zachor. Now again, that doesn't mean that we only make kiddush in the day and that we only abstain from melacha at night, right? The imperatives are operative throughout the twenty four hours of shabbos, but al pi kabbala the kedusha of shabbos is not uniform. The kedusha of Friday night is rooted primarily in the shamor dimension of shabbos, again, which represents the discipline of shabbos, which represents the commitment to the abstaining from melacha of shabbos, whereas the kedusha of shabbos day, which is greater, is rooted in the element of zachor. Again, in the mitzvah of kiddush, in the positive proactive experience of kedusha. And says the Ramban, and it's implicit in the Ramban also, right, we only arrive at the zachor building upon a foundation of shamor. And in fact, perhaps what this idea finds its most powerful expression, I think we're all familiar, one of the great classics of the mussar tradition is the Sefer Mesillas Yesharim. Sefer Mesillas Yesharim is structured around a braisa quoted in Masechet Avodah Zarah from Pinchas ben Yair. And the Mesillas Yesharim sequentially analyzes various middos, various traits that we need to cultivate in order to perfect ourselves and in order to come closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Now each of the middos he discusses are twin middos. He discusses a middah as it applies to mitzvos lo sa'aseh, to the negative commandments, and then he also discusses that very same middah as it applies to mitzvos aseh. And in each case, so for instance, the first couplet in Mesillas Yesharim is zehiras and zerizus. Zehiras, watchfulness, and zerizus, a sense of zeal and care. Zehiras, watchfulness, refers to mitzvos lo sa'aseh. It's the care which a person takes to avoid anything and everything which the Torah prohibits. And zerizus represents that same degree of care but vis-a-vis the mitzvos aseh of the Torah, vis-a-vis the positive commandments. And in each case, and this pattern follows through the entire book of Mesillas Yesharim, in each case he first discusses the middah, the trait, the quality as it applies to the mitzvos lo sa'aseh. That's the foundation, and it's building on that foundation that that we come to the mitzvos aseh. So again the point which emerges from all this very clearly is that for the Torah Kedusha is always anchored, always builds upon a foundation of the discipline which the Torah provides us. Now let's try to understand why that's so and let's also try to understand that on a deeper level it's not just that the discipline of the Torah and by discipline it doesn't always translate into the mitzvos lo sa'aseh constituting the discipline and the mitzvos aseh more of the positive experience, that's more of a typology. But why is it again we want to understand why this discipline is so fundamental and so necessary and second of all we also want to understand that on a deeper level the discipline is not just the sine qua non for the experience of Kedusha but itself represents a deeply deeply spiritual routine and regimen. Now let's try to understand how that is so and why that is so. There's a famous Gemara in Shabbos with which you're all familiar where the Gemara comments on the pasuk in Parshas Yisro of Vayisyatzvu besachtis hahar that at the time of Kabbalas HaTorah so Klal Yisrael the Jewish people stood at the foot of Mount Sinai. The Gemara darshans that what this means is that kavyachol as it were Hakadosh Baruch Hu lifted the mountain up, held it over our heads and basically coerced us into accepting the Torah. אם אתם מקבלים מוטב if you'll accept the Torah fine and fine and good ואם לאו שם תהא קבורתכם but otherwise that's going to be the end of you. Tosafos raises a very interesting question. Tosafos says but if you look in the psukim Bnei Yisrael already willingly committed themselves, they already said Na'aseh V'Nishmah willingly. So what need was there for Hakadosh Baruch Hu to be heavy-handed as it were and coerce us into accepting the Torah if there had already been a voluntary commitment. The answer I believe points to again something very very fundamental about our conception of Avodas Hashem. On the one hand there's no question that we should serve Hakadosh Baruch Hu willingly with a sense of excitement, a sense of passion and a sense of privilege at the at the incomparable zechus that we have to serve Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to endow our lives with meaning and to live meaningfully and ultimately eternally. There's no question that that sense of appreciation should motivate us to serve Hakadosh Baruch Hu willingly with a sense of voluntarism even if there were no tzivui. And yet that noble sense of voluntarism shouldn't and doesn't preclude a sense of obligation. A person is supposed to feel that he's a metzuveh. A person is supposed to feel that Hakadosh Baruch Hu Melech Malchei HaMelachim is a metzaveh is the one who commands and I his handiwork am a metzuveh and I am commanded. There shouldn't only be in our Avodas Hashem in our service of Hakadosh Baruch Hu there shouldn't only be this sense of voluntarism, the sense of wanting to do it. That should be there, of course that should be there, but that should be coupled with a sense of obligation. I'm a metzuveh, I'm a metzuveh. Why? Because that goes to the core of who I am, what I am, because I recognize I recognize that Hakadosh Baruch Hu the Borei Olam Melech Malchei HaMelachim Hakadosh Baruch Hu is metzaveh. So in addition to wanting to do it I have to feel that I'm a metzuveh. I have to feel that I belong totally entirely to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. I have to feel that I'm totally beholden to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The discipline which the Torah imposes upon us, the fact that the Torah as it were the Torah has directives for every area of life constantly constantly imposing a discipline, so that allows us to manifest this sense of total belonging and total beholdenness to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And that's why this regimen again of discipline of sacrifice of self-sacrifice of surrender to retzon Hashem is a profoundly spiritual regimen. It's not only the foundation, it's not only the sine qua non for the Zohar, but it itself is a deeply spiritual regimen. When everything a person does: Can I eat this? I can't eat this. How do I, how do I cut my salad on Shabbos? Can I, if I'm cutting the salad two hours before the meal, so can I cut it into the Israeli salad style? Can I cut it into very small pieces? Everything. The Torah has directives for us in everything. Why is that? Because we're supposed to have this sense of being a metzuveh. That's what it means to be, a sense of creatureliness means to have a sense of being a metzuveh, of being commanded, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Melech Malchei HaMelachim commands and I'm commanded. And and that and that is at the core of of a religious spiritual personality. And that's why the discipline of Torah and and the surrendering and the self-sacrifice which Torah asks for is just so indispensable to genuine spirituality. It manifests that sense of beholdenness and belonging to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The Rav was was fond of of discussing this theme of the need for sacrifice and surrender to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And and he would often tell the following story. I'm sure many of you, if if not firsthand, then then secondhand have heard this story over the years. The story was a maise shehoya. It was an actual, an actual episode in which he was involved, in which he was consulted. The story unfolded as follows. It was a young Jewish man, young man from a totally assimilated background, totally assimilated background. Knew next to nothing about his Jewishness. And he he became very friendly and emotionally involved with a young gentile woman. Given his his assimilated background, he had no qualms about about intermarriage. So there was no, there was no pressure on her from him or any other source to to undergo any any kind of giyurus, real or otherwise. No such pressure. But nevertheless, she, totally l'shem shamayim, became interested in Yahadus. She wanted to find out more about Judaism. To fast forward, she studied and became so interested that she became a giyurus tzedek. She converted and what's more, she was machzir him b'teshuva. And and she was the the catalyst to his becoming observant, to his being chozer b'teshuva. So they became engaged and and they set a wedding date. Now, now this young man had no father. I I think, I think that's the detail. Had no father. Someone mentioned to him that there's a custom that that some people have that when a child gets married, if one of the parents is no longer alive, that you go out to the beis olam, you go out to the cemetery and, as it were, whatever this means, on whatever level this should be understood, quote, invite the the deceased parent to the to the chuppah. So the young man goes out out to the cemetery and he he visits his father's grave and he's looking at the headstone and he sees this funny inscription towards the top of the headstone. Sees two two two two hands interlocked at the in the top of the headstone. Doesn't doesn't know what why it's there. So when he he comes back from the cemetery, so he he asks some of his now that he's observant, he has a circle of observant friends who who know more than he does. He asks them what that represents. And they tell him, well, there's a minnag to put that inscription on the headstone of someone who's a kohen. So you must be a kohen. Your father was a kohen, you must be a kohen. Then he finds out subsequently that a kohen is not allowed to marry a giyurus. So here, right, so imagine imagine the dilemma here. This woman's, this woman's inspired, sincere quest for Torah, for truth, led them both along this path and now the end of the path seems to be that that their relationship is going to have to be sacrificed. So the question came to came to the Rav. So they made drisha v'chakira, maybe is it possible that that the father maybe had been married to a divorcee, in which case the son wouldn't have the status of a kohen, he would have the status of a challal and and would be allowed to marry a giyurus? But but none of these inquiries yielded anything. The father was of... Impeccable lineage. The father had married a woman whom he as a Kohen was allowed to marry, so the son was of equally impeccable lineage. And the Rav said he told them I'm sorry but you're not allowed to get married. And he described how they simply again, both literally as well as metaphorically bowed their heads and they accepted the psak. And that's it and they went their separate ways. They went and she remained a totally committed giyorus. He remained a totally committed baal teshuvah. So the Rav used to describe the heroism of it, the heroism of it. So the discipline of Torah is not always so dramatic, but that's what the discipline of Torah represents. It's a spiritual regimen, it's a spiritual regimen which bespeaks, again, a sense of belonging to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, a sense of beholdenness to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and a sense that we don't draw any lines in our surrendering to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. There are no lines. We don't tell Hakadosh Baruch Hu the Torah can only dictate so much to me, but there's a point at which it gets too onerous, there's a point at which it gets too inconvenient. There are many things in the Torah which clash with modern values, which clash with a modern mindset and make demands because we're so much a product of our society, of the Western society in which we live and in which we grew up, it makes demands which seem to us onerous. But ultimately, if we desire, if we desire genuine spirituality, there can't be any lines as to well, the Torah can tell me so much and not more. The Torah can't tell me how to dress, the Torah can't tell me other things like that because that's too, it's asking too much from me, it's asking too much from me. It wasn't easy for this young couple to split up either. But in so doing, in so doing, they reinforced a commitment to and an attainment of a profoundly enduring spirituality, and the spirituality which is anchored, which is anchored in this kind of spiritual regimen, in the discipline of Torah, is not just an occasional peak on the graph, it's not just an occasional high, but it's a constant and enduring spirituality. And that's why the Torah stresses again, the discipline of Torah so much. Let's move on. We conclude our Shmoneh Esrei every day with the paragraph אלקי נצור לשוני מרע. The source for this is a passage in the second chapter of the Gemara in Masechet Berachos. There are different nuscha'os, there are different texts of exactly how it reads. I think the one common version of the text says ואחרי מצותיך תרדוף נפשי, that my soul, my soul should pursue your mitzvos, right? Acharei mitzvosaycha, after your mitzvos, tirdof nafshi, nafshi is the subject, it should pursue your mitzvos, your commandments, Hakadosh Baruch Hu. There is, and I think this is actually printed in some texts of the Gemara, there is a variant reading which says Uvemitzvosaycha tirdof nafshi, not ואחרי מצותיך תרדוף נפשי, but rather Uvemitzvosaycha tirdof nafshi. So what's the difference? Uvemitzvosaycha means that the mitzvos are not the object of pursuit, right? That's Acharei mitzvosaycha. Uvemitzvosaycha means that the mitzvos are the instrument of pursuit. Uvemitzvosaycha, with your mitzvos, tirdof nafshi, my soul pursues, but what's the object? The object is not specified, right? According to this reading, the object is understood, not specified. What's understood? Understood, with your mitzvos, Ribbono Shel Olam, Uvemitzvosaycha tirdof nafshi, my soul pursues you, Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Meaning that mitzvos... should be viewed as instruments of pursuing HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Mitzvos are not simply obligations which have to be discharged, but HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, these are ways to connect. Mitzvos are bridges. Uvemitzvosecha with your mitzvos HaKadosh Baruch Hu, tirdof nafshi, my soul will pursue You, HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Uvemitzvosecha, a mitzvah is a bridge, it's a bridge to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. But the only thing is, the bridge is not entirely complete. How far the bridge spans depends upon how much we invest in the bridge. How much we get out of a mitzvah depends upon how much we invest into the mitzvah. How much we invest in our davening. It's one thing, it's one thing and and it's to be valued on any level. A person comes three times a day, Shacharis, Mincha, Maariv, davens be-tzibbur, so that's a very, very important, very, very important part of his life. But then the question is, but once I come to shul, so what do I do? What do I do? In Shulchan Aruch it says that the words of tefillah should be pronounced the way you count money. So did you ever go to the bank and and you take out some money? So you go over to the teller. So the teller is counting out the money. So the teller counts and they they moisten the finger to make sure that no two bills are going to stick together, and then after they count and then they recount to make sure that they have exactly, exactly the number of bills that they're supposed to be giving and they're not giving any more. So Shulchan Aruch uses this this analogy for how we should articulate the words of tefillah. Thoughtfully, slowly, meaningfully. If we invest in tefillah, so then we'll discover, we'll discover what what tremendous spiritual rewards there are within tefillah. But when we don't invest in tefillah, when we don't invest in tefillah, so how much of a surprise should it be to me that that if if if I rush through my davening with my mind elsewhere, how much of a surprise should it be to me that I walk away uninspired. Maybe just one example, one seasonal example. Now in Aseres Yemei Teshuva we're saying Avinu Malkeinu. So generally, the way we say Avinu Malkeinu is we we swallow the Avinu Malkeinu and we get to the punchline that we're interested in. כתבנו בספר פרנסה וכלכלה, inscribe us in in the book of of sustenance. כתבנו בספר סליחה ומחילה, inscribe us in the book of of forgiveness. But what would it be, imagine, imagine if davening took an extra five minutes, if an extra five minutes were allotted for davening in the morning, at Mincha, and when we said Avinu, we stop to think about what that expresses about our relationship with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Imagine if we stop to think for a minute about the best, the best father figure whom we ever knew in our lives, right? So for many of us it would be our own father, right? And let's say we stop to think, you know, our own parent, our own father, had a seemingly limitless love and devotion. Seemingly limitless love and devotion. I mean, it had to, realistically, it had to be limited because our own parents are finite and and therefore limited, so it couldn't literally be unlimited, but just think of all the love that they showered upon us and all the devotion which they showed for us, and all the sacrifice, how they put our interests before their own. And then think how that is just but a pale imitation of what HaKadosh Baruch Hu, what HaKadosh Baruch Hu feels for us, kaveyachol. Avinu. So just think if we weren't rushing headlong to the כתבנו בספר פרנסה וכלכלה, but in each of these, in each stanza, in each line, Avinu, Avinu. You know, the story is told of one of the gedolei Chassidus, I think it was the Chozeh MiLublin but I'm not sure. The story is told of one of the gedolei Chassidus, as as many, very controversially, did and do, so they davened very late in the morning. Used to daven Shacharis around ten, ten-thirty. The story is not is not intended as any any kind of endorsement for that for that practice but the story is is nonetheless a beautiful story with with a powerful message. So the Chozeh was asked, "What is this that you daven at ten-thirty in the morning? What, do you sleep till nine-thirty every morning? Go to bed a little earlier and get up a little earlier and you'll daven b'zman." So the Chozeh says, "No, I get up, if you want to know the truth," he says, "I get up at four o'clock in the morning every morning. And I get up four o'clock in the morning, I wash negel vasser. Then I say Modeh Ani. I say Modeh. I begin to think, what does it mean to acknowledge Hakadosh Baruch Hu? What does it mean to acknowledge? Not in a perfunctory sense, but in a deep profound sense. And then I realize that modeh has another meaning, it means both to acknowledge and to thank. What does it mean to feel gratitude that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives us another day of life? Modeh. Then I move on to ani. Modeh ani. I think about who am I? What am I? What should be at the core of my personality? Lifanecha. Before you, Hakadosh Baruch Hu. What does it mean, what does it mean to live one's life in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu before Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Says the Chozeh, "I get up in the morning, I wash negel vasser, I say Modeh Ani, I go straight to the Beis Medrash to daven. By the time I get there, it's ten-thirty." So just imagine, imagine, imagine if we had a fraction of that sensitivity in our tfillah, when we said Avinu, our Father, imagine, imagine if if that were invested with some thought and therefore some meaning. And Malkeinu, and what does it mean to speak of Hakadosh Baruch Hu as Melech? It represents of course absolute sovereignty but it also connotes an intimacy. A melech has avadim, avadim come and go freely in the in the in the chamber of the king. So imagine if we invested, if we invested in our tfillah, so imagine what rewards there would be in terms of discovering, discovering spirituality and and what a religious experience it could be. Similarly with Shabbos. Similarly with Shabbos. So how do we how do we come into Shabbos? So we come into Shabbos we we dash in at the last minute, our mind is not really on Shabbos, we're not in a Shabbos-dik mindset because we we've been so so busy and so burdened with all our mundane obligations right until the last minute. So we're not able to flip the switch. Not able to flip the switch. Then we come to shul. Come to shul and davening isn't the only isn't the only activity which which which which goes on in shul. And then somehow or other Shabbos seems a little Shabbos seems a little empty. Shabbos seems a little empty. What would be what would be if we told ourselves, "No, the absolute deadline, the absolute deadline is not licht bentchen, not shkiah, the absolute deadline is an hour or two before Shabbos." And what would be, what would be if as the Rambam describes in Hilchos Shabbos we we donned our bigdei Shabbos and we waited, the Rambam refers to Shabbos as Shabbos HaMelech, we refer to it more commonly as Shabbos HaMalka, and what would be if we would wait for the king or queen of Shabbos? And what would be if we would try to pass the entire day of Shabbos with divrei Torah at the table, with zmiros at the table, and that even the conversation should be devoted to to these topics? Who knows, who knows? I don't know, but but I can only guess, I can only guess what treasures await us, are latent within Kedushas Shabbos, but we have to invest, we have to invest. The Chiddushei HaRim, the first Gerer Rebbe, the the simple translation of the word mitzvah is commandment, right? Letzavos in Hebrew means to command. In in in Aramaic so betzavta also means together with, together with. Says the Chiddushei HaRim, a mitzvah is a bond. It's it's a way we bond with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Yes, it's a commandment, but it's a command Hakadosh The Ramban in Parshas Kedoshim presents a famous exposition of the Torah's mandate Kedoshim Tiyu to be holy. And basically what it boils down to is the Ramban says that we have to practice abstinence even within the realm of what the Torah permits to us if we want to experience genuine kedusha. As long as a person is mired in materialism, as long as a person's life is a life which is characterized by concern for and pursuit of pleasure, so that precludes authentic kedusha. It doesn't preclude perfunctory compliance with mitzvos, but genuine kedusha is precluded. The same idea was expressed by Rabbeinu Bachya a couple of hundred years earlier in his Chovos HaLevavos, but listen carefully. Rabbeinu Bachya says something very, very powerful, very powerful. Rabbeinu Bachya says the same way water and fire cannot coexist within the same vessel, within the same kli, one of the two, either the water's going to douse the fire or the water's going to be evaporated by the fire. They're not going to coexist side by side. So too Rabbeinu Bachya says, love of olam hazeh and by olam hazeh he means olam hazeh in terms of its materialism, in terms of its physicality, in terms of its comfort and pleasures and luxury and indulgences. That's what he means by olam hazeh, this world. Love of olam hazeh, love of this world and love of the world to come, and by the world to come he means devarim ruchniyim, he means spirituality, he means service of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, can't coexist either. The same way water and fire can't coexist, so too, so too love of olam hazeh and love of olam haba can't coexist. It's different orientations. The person's personality is primed differently. If a person's personality is primed for the pleasures and the comfort, physical pleasures and comforts and indulgences of olam hazeh, so then his personality is not primed for the spirituality. We operate under a myth, and at our own risk, rabbosai, but we operate under a myth that we don't have to choose between the two, that we can have both, that we can have both, but it's a myth, it's a myth. To the extent and to the degree that we're primed for comfort and indulgence, so to that extent we're handicapped in our pursuit of kedusha. And to the extent that we partake of olam hazeh, to the extent that we need to to keep ourselves healthy, to live a dignified life, not to be dependent upon handouts, but to the extent that we partake of olam hazeh, again, only to the degree that we're supposed to, that we need to, so then we can be totally open to spirituality. Then our personalities are primed for it. But we shouldn't delude ourselves, rabbosai, into thinking that the two can coexist. They don't. And in honest moments of introspection, we recognize it. And finally, finally, obviously no discussion of spirituality within yahadus, within halacha, is complete without discussing the mitzvah of talmud torah. The mitzvah of talmud torah, involvement in learning Torah is indispensable, absolutely indispensable. absolutely indispensable for any type of Ruchnius, any type of genuine spirituality and spiritual attainment for two reasons. First of all, the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos tells us that לא בור ירא חטא ולא עם הארץ חסיד. We spoke earlier, we spoke earlier about the spiritual regimen of Torah. About manifesting that sense of belonging and total beholdenness to Hakadosh Baruch Hu by subscribing to and surrendering to the spiritual regimen of Torah. By Torah drawing the lines of our life, a person has to know. A person has to know. We said before that all the beautiful Zemiros. All the beautiful Zemiros of Shabbos. It's all undermined if I'm not rooted, if I'm not anchored in the Shimur of Shabbos. So I have to know what the Shimur of Shabbos entails. I have to, I have to be familiar with Hilchos Shabbos if not to be able to answer every question, at least to know what questions to ask. Someone once asked the Rav, doesn't he get just exhausted and enervated from the endless Sha'alos that he used to get? And he answered, the Sha'alos don't bother me. He says, I can, he says, Ribbono Shel Olam gives me strength to answer questions. He says, what taxes me and what really enervates me is when people don't know how to ask a Sha'ala and when people don't bother asking a Sha'ala. That taxes me. So we don't have to necessarily know all the answers in Hilchos Shabbos. We don't have to know all the answers in Taharas Hamishpacha. We don't have to know all the answers in Dinim of Kashrus. But we have to know enough to ask the questions. And without Talmud Torah, unless the Malach missed when he was supposed to hit us and I don't think he has, he has a pretty good aim, unless the Malach hit, we're not going to know it without the Talmud Torah. So for that reason, on that level, Talmud Torah is indispensable for spirituality. But there's another very profound reason as well. And here I'd just like to read you initially in the original and then we'll translate two passages which the Rav quotes. One is from the Baal HaTanya in his classic work Tanya, and the other is from Rebbi Chaim Volozhiner in his classic Nefesh HaChaim. So the Baal HaTanya writes as follows: כשאדם מבין ומשיג איזה הלכה. When a person understands and comprehends a Halacha in the Torah. הרי שכלו מלובש בה באותה שעה. His intellect, his mind is enveloped by that Halacha at that moment.

והנה הלכה זו היא חכמתו ורצונו של הקדוש ברוך הוא.

This Halacha represents a facet of the wisdom and the will of Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

הרי זה משיג ותופס בשכלו רצונו וחכמתו של הקדוש ברוך הוא.

This person is apprehending, is grasping with his intellect the will and the wisdom of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. והוא ייחוד נפלא שאין כמוהו ולא כערכו נמצא כלל. That's the Baal HaTanya. Rebbi Chaim Volozhiner: ויכוון להתדבק בלימודו בתורה בו בהקדוש ברוך הוא. A person should intend, should attempt through his learning of Torah to cling to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Haynu, what does that mean? להתדבק בכל כוחותיו בדבר השם זו הלכה. To cling with all his, with all his energies, with all his faculties to the word of Hashem which is zu Halacha. Uvazeh, when a person clings, he sinks, he probes, he understands, he apprehends. When a person clings to the

דבר השם זו הלכה, הוא דבוק בו יתברך ממש כביכול.

The person is clinging to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. כי הוא יתברך ורצונו אחד. Because Hakadosh Baruch Hu and His will are one and the same. If we can identify, if we can cling to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So then we cling to him. וכל דין והלכה מן התורה הקדושה הוא רצונו יתברך. Every din, every halachah represents the will of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Talmud Torah, Talmud Torah poses challenges. It's hard to find time to learn, and depending upon one's background, depending upon how many years of learning one has in one's background, kol hatchalot kashot, it can be very difficult. But here the idea of sacrifice, of self-sacrifice that we were talking about before comes into play. We spoke before about the myth of having everything, about the myth of having all the comfort of the indulgences and luxuries of Olam Hazeh and having all the spiritual treasures of Olam Haba. And unwelcome though that truth may be, Rabbeinu Bachya tells us, the Ramban tells us, everyone tells us, everyone in our tradition tells us, the two, the two don't coexist. The two don't coexist. So Talmud Torah also requires sacrifice. What's the sacrifice? It will vary from individual to individual. Some professionals may be in a position to cut back on the number of hours they work every week and to make available more time for Talmud Torah. But for every action there's an equal reaction. You cut back on the number of hours you work, so then your income drops. One won't necessarily be able to maintain the same lifestyle. A week-long expensive vacation in the winter may now strain the budget. Maybe it will have to be a more modest day trip by car with the family. Could be that Pesach in the hotel might not be affordable if one cuts back and makes available time to go into work at 10:30 in the morning or 11:00 in the morning or maybe be able to leave by 3:30 in the afternoon. There will be pain, of course there will be pain. But genuine spiritual attainment requires sacrifice. That's the pattern which Hakadosh Baruch Hu implanted in the Briah. Gimmel matanos tovos, the Gemara tells us in Berachos, there were three special gifts which Hakadosh Baruch Hu bequeathed to us.

גמל מתנות טובות נתן הקדוש ברוך הוא לישראל. וכולן לא נתנו אלא על ידי יסורין.

How do you acquire these gifts? We know that in order to acquire real estate, you can either write a deed, you can have a shtar, there can be an exchange of money, that can affect the transaction. You can demonstrate ownership by fixing the fence around the borders of the real estate. There are different ways of acquisition. And similarly there are other objects. How do we acquire spiritual things? So the Gemara tells us they're acquired through yisurin, through sacrifice, because if a person doesn't invest, he doesn't acquire. And that's true in all meaningful acquisitions. It's true even in the realm of interpersonal relationships. Whatever natural instinctive love a mother or a father has for a child, that love intensifies the first time the child rachmana litzlan is colicky or not well and is up all night. Never mind just up every three hours, but up all night and the parent, exhausted, spends a sleepless night loving and caring for the child. That investment, that sacrifice deepens the bond. It intensifies the love which the parent has for the child. In Masechet Derech Eretz, the darshanim quote Masechet Derech Eretz, one of the minor masechtot in Shas, it says: What should a person do if he senses that he harbors ill will towards someone? Torah has a mitzvah of veahavta lereiacha kamocha. Says Maseches Derech Eretz, what do you do? Do something for him. Do something for him. Sacrifice for him, right? We would say, invite him to do something for me, right? If I don't like him so much, invite him to give me a gift. Invite him to do something for me. Maseches Derech Eretz is no, harotzeh if you want to cultivate goodwill for your friend, do something for him, sacrifice for him. When you sacrifice for someone, so then you cultivate, you develop a relationship. And the same is true with spiritual attainment as well. And that's what the Gemara says in Berachos that there are three matanos tovos which Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us, Torah, Olam Haba, and Eretz Yisrael. But the only way, the only mode of acquisition of these matanos tovos is yissurim. Sacrifice, the yissurim don't necessarily have to imply physical pain rachmana litzlan, but sacrifice, it might mean working fewer hours if one's job allows itself for that, maybe it will mean switching jobs to a job that does allow for it, maybe it will mean passing up on some of one's recreational activities to find more time for learning. It will require sacrifice. It's not going to be easy, but it's precisely because we sacrifice and when we sacrifice that the reward is the greatest. And I'm not talking about the reward le'atid lavo, עין לא ראתה אלקים זולתך, we don't know what that reward is, it defies description, only Hakadosh Baruch Hu has beheld that reward. I'm talking about the reward of living a meaningful life, living a meaningful life. Spending hours in the Beis Medrash. Again, it varies depending from individual to individual, how much time it's going to be. But however much time it's going to be, if a person is maximizing that time, he's making as much time possible for that, the reward in Olam Hazeh, the meaningfulness, what a person tastes, Ta'amu U're'u, the sweetness of Torah, the kedusha of being immersed in Torah, just the reward is tremendous even in Olam Hazeh. But it requires that sacrifice. Matanos tovos are given and acquired through yissurim. Hakadosh Baruch Hu give us all the wisdom to recognize the need and importance for these sacrifices, to accept these commitments, and may we be successful and in that zechus all have a gut yor and gmar chasima tova.