Searching for G-d

Thank you Rabbi Schulman, Shlita Rav Schachter, Shlita Mara D’Asra. In speaking about a topic such as Hakadosh Baruch Hu, there are two very great risks. Whenever one speaks, one strives, one aspires to try to speak well, to be Na’eh Doresh. But at the cost of being Na’eh Doresh, if he ayno Na’eh Mekayem, is one great risk. The other is that the topic and to undertake to speak about a topic which really preoccupies our entire lives, the formulation of the topic is as challenging as the Ger’s question to Hillel of למדני כל התורה כולה כשאני עומד על רגל אחת and not only is the wisdom of Hillel lacking, but the Hillel entirely. But that having been said, with that Moda'ah, so let’s begin by trying to understand the centrality and indispensability of being Mevakesh, of searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu, of being Doresh, of being Mevakesh, of actively seeking and searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. At the end of Parshas Behar, there’s a very remarkable Pasuk. The Torah writes, Hakadosh Baruch Hu says,

כי לי בני ישראל עבדים עבדי הם אשר הוצאתי אותם מארץ מצרים.

That Bnei Yisrael are my Avadim, they’re my servants, I have taken them out of Eretz Mitzrayim. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu is validating as it were his claim to our loyalty. He’s validating, he’s justifying his claim to our Avdus, our servitude. And what basis, what justification does Hakadosh Baruch Hu have for our servitude? Hakadosh Baruch Hu says well you owe me one, אשר הוצאתי אותם מארץ מצרים. I took them out, I took you out of Mitzrayim, so consequently you’re my Avadim. What’s so remarkable about this Pasuk? Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the Borei Olam. Hakadosh Baruch Hu created and sustains the world. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is Mechayeh Hakol. Hakadosh Baruch Hu מחדש בטובו בכל יום תמיד מעשה בראשית. Every moment, everything that exists exists because Hakadosh Baruch Hu willed it to exist. It exists because Hakadosh Baruch Hu allows it to exist, because Hakadosh Baruch Hu allows us to share in His existence. So one would think that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wouldn’t need any other justification, any other validation for his claim to our loyalty, for his claim to our servitude, and yet the Torah says כי לי בני ישראל עבדים הם עבדי. Why is that? Because אשר הוצאתי אותם מארץ מצרים. That’s the basis of my claim, Hakadosh Baruch Hu says. And of course Hakadosh Baruch Hu presented himself the same way at Ma’amad Har Sinai when Hakadosh Baruch Hu introduced the Aseres Hadibros with אנוכי ה׳ אלוהיך אשר הוצאתיך מארץ מצרים מבית עבדים. Again the same emphasis that in coming to give us the Torah, in coming to be metzaveh, to command, to legislate, so Hakadosh Baruch Hu validates, he stakes his claim on the fact אשר הוצאתיך מארץ מצרים. Now admittedly, admittedly, Hakadosh Baruch Hu asks more of us than he does of the Umos Ha’olam, the nations of the world, and for that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is saying well I’ve invested more in you. But still there’s more to it than that because again Hakadosh Baruch Hu, it’s the prerogative of the Melech to choose. It’s a prerogative of a Melech to assign one task to one group, a different task to another group. Why does Hakadosh Baruch Hu again anchor his claim to our servitude, to our Avdus, in the fact אשר הוצאתי אותם מארץ מצרים? So to try to understand this, we need to reflect a little bit on the concept of Avdus. Our immediate association with Avdus is that an Eved, a servant, is totally beholden to his master. He belongs to the master. מה שקנה עבד קנה רבו. To the extent that he doesn’t really have his own identity. And clearly that dimension is present within Avdus. But there’s another dimension as well and that dimension emerges from a very famous story with which we’re all familiar. The Gemara tells us that רבן יוחנן בן זכאי, the leader of the Jewish people after the Churban Bayis Sheini, רבן יוחנן בן זכאי amongst his Talmidim was רבי חנינא בן דוסא. And רבי חנינא בן דוסא was well known as I guess we would say as a po’el yeshuos. As a miracle worker. So the gemara tells us that once Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai's son fell seriously sick and Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai sent for his talmid, for his disciple Rabbi Chanina ben Dosa, and asked him to please daven on behalf of his son. So Rabbi Chanina ben Dosa, the gemara describes the posture that Rabbi Chanina ben Dosa used to assume when he would daven. He put his head between his knees and he davened with great kavana and Hakadosh Baruch Hu answered his tefilos and Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai's son recovered. At which point Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai commented and said that אלמלא הטיח בן זכאי את ראשו בין ברכיו, if I would have davened, not just the five minutes that Rabbi Chanina ben Dosa davened, but if I would have davened all day long, my tefila wouldn't have been answered. So Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai's rebetzin, so she was a she was a good wife, so she says to him וכי חנינא גדול ממך? What are you being so self-effacing? Is your talmid Rabbi Chanina ben Dosa, is he greater than you that you're saying that his tefilos were answered but yours wouldn't have been? So Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai answered and says no, he's not greater than me, but I'll give you the following analogy: that I resemble in my relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu a sar lifnei hamelech, an officer before the king, whereas Rabbi Chanina ben Dosa he resembles an eved lifnei hamelech. So what's the point? Let's take it in modern in modern terms. So let's say you have the Secretary of State. Secretary of State has cabinet rank, but that cabinet rank notwithstanding, he doesn't have he doesn't have free access to the president. If he wants to talk to the president, he has to call up and make an appointment. He can't just walk in to the Oval Office whenever he wants and and come talk to the president. What about the president's private secretary or his chief of staff? So they don't have the private secretary doesn't have cabinet status, but he or she is יוצא ונכנס שלא ברשות. He or she is constantly going in and out to to the president, sees the president at all kinds of intimate settings that the that the Secretary of State, who outranks her, who has cabinet rank, doesn't. So Rashi says that's what avdus means, is that an eved is יוצא ונכנס שלא ברשות. So what we see from this gemara here is that there's another dimension to avdus. Besides the fact that the eved belongs to the master, that he's totally beholden to the master, avdus also connotes a relationship of intimacy. An eved is intimate with his adon. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, when Hakadosh Baruch Hu says ki avadai hem, so Hakadosh Baruch Hu says what I want, what I ask of Klal Yisrael is not only not only that they fulfill mitzvos, not only that they listen to the devar Hashem, but that they be my avadim, that there be an intimacy, that there be a personal relationship, that a person feel a personal kesher, a personal connection with the Ribono shel Olam. And that's what it means ki avadai hem. Similarly, the the first of the Taryag Mitzvos in the Rambam's in the Rambam's enumeration of the Taryag Mitzvos is Anochi Hashem Elokecha. So the Rambam says that the יסוד היסודות ועמוד החכמות, the famous opening line in Mishneh Torah, that the יסוד היסודות ועמוד החכמות, the most fundamental principle and the pillar of all wisdom is לדעת, לדעת שיש שם מצוי ראשון, to know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu exists, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives existence to everything else, that he sustains everything else. And the Rambam says וידיעת דבר זה מצות עשה. Yedia, knowing this is a mitzvas asei. So the Rav, zecher tzadik livracha, writes that he thinks that yedia in the way the Rambam is using it doesn't only connote cognitive, a cognitive understanding, a cognitive appreciation, but we know, for instance, the Torah uses yedia in a sense of intimacy, in a sense of chibur, of connection, of chiba, of of endearment. וידע אדם את חוה אשתו. So it means that there was an intimacy. There was intimacy. So the Rav says the mitzvah וידיעת דבר זה מצות עשה doesn't just mean that we're supposed to cognitively and intellectually recognize Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but rather וידיעת דבר זה מצות עשה is that there's supposed to be experiential, that experientially we're supposed to know Hakadosh Baruch Hu, not only cognitively know Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Again, part of part of that relationship of avdus and intimacy with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that there is a personal relationship. Similarly, that in the yetzias mitzrayim, the Rav has a really breathtaking explanation for a halacha which appears in the Gemara Masechet Shvuos. There is of course לא תעשו כן לה' אלהיכם, the Torah says in Sefer Devarim that there is a prohibition of mechikas Hashem. We're not allowed to erase the name of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It's an issur lav. לא תעשו כן לה' אלהיכם. So the question is when the name of Hakadosh Baruch Hu is written with osyos hanitpalos, when it's written with either a prefix or a suffix, so do the letters of the prefix and or the suffix, do they assume the same, the same hallowed status as the letters which comprise the Shem Hashem and the same prohibition attaches itself, let's say you have the word l'Elokeichem, to your God. So the lamed is the prefix and the chem is the suffix, to your God. So what's the status of those extra letters? So we distinguish, the halacha distinguishes between the prefix and between the suffix. That the prefix doesn't have the same status as the shem proper, but the suffix does. So the lamed wouldn't have the special status of Shem Hashem for purposes of the prohibition of erasing it, ma she'ein kein by contrast the suffix would. So the Rav says what difference does it make? I mean, either the fact that it joins the shem as a prefix or suffix, the fact that it's nitpal to the shem, either it becomes part of the shem or not. So the Rav says that the answer is this: that when Hakadosh Baruch Hu made the bris with Avraham Avinu, so Hakadosh Baruch Hu says liheyos lachem l'Elokim. That even though Hakadosh Baruch Hu obviously is absolutely independent, Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't need anything, but nevertheless Hakadosh Baruch Hu says in this world, the way I'm going to be perceived and the way I will reveal myself in this world will be as your God, as אלהי אברהם אלהי יצחק אלהי יעקב. That's part of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's identity in this world. Hence, when we talk about the Shem Hashem, so when it says Elokeinu, our God, so Hakadosh Baruch Hu says that's part of my shem, that's part of my name, that's part of how I reveal myself in this world. המייחד שמי על האבות. I have my name is associated with you, that's a part of my name. The prefix, to, from, no, that's just a prefix, that doesn't become part of the shem. But the suffix which represents Hakadosh Baruch Hu's relationship with us in this world, so that becomes a part of the shem. Again, so all these things converge that through Torah and mitzvos what we're supposed to be doing again is not just complying with the dvar Hashem, of course we have to do that, but we're supposed to be forging a relationship, a personal intimate relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and that's what it means ki avadai heim. Shimshon Raphael Hirsch has a remarkable, remarkable observation in the pizmon Adon Olam, which we say every morning at the beginning of davening. So the pizmon begins with a description

אדון עולם אשר מלך בטרם כל יציר נברא לעת נעשה בחפצו כל אזי מלך שמו נקרא.

We describe the grandeur of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Hakadosh Baruch Hu's sovereignty.

והוא היה והוא הוה והוא יהיה בתפארה והוא אחד ואין שני להמשיל לו להחבירה.

There's nothing that you can equate to Hashem, nothing you can compare to Hashem, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is eternal. Right? Description of the eternity, the transcendence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And then what happens in the middle of Adon Olam? So what happens all of a sudden? We're describing again Hakadosh Baruch Hu absolute, independent, great, transcendent, infinite and then all of a sudden והוא אלי וחי גואלי. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu and who is He? My, in the singular, He's my personal God and my redeemer, וצור חבלי בעת צרה. And He's the one who looks out for me in a time of distress, He's the one who takes care of me in a time of distress. Hakadosh Baruch Hu has a personal relationship with each and every one of us, and that's what the challenge, the mandate of ki avadai heim is. That's why when Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to, kavyachol, validate or anchor His claim to our servitude, so it's not enough Hakadosh Baruch Hu says I'm not going to appeal just to the fact that אשר בראתי שמים וארץ, that I created heaven and earth or even the fact that I sustain everything, what I'm pointing to and that's my basis for saying that you should be avdai hein, that you should forge this intimate and feel this personal connection with me. So that's a kosuv echad, that's one notion which we find in the Torah. There is, however, a kosuv hasheini. The kosuv hasheini alongside the fact that הוא תהלי וגורלי, אשר הוצאתיך מארץ מצרים, but the second kosuv is, it's a pasuk in Yeshayahu. Some of us have the minhag of singing a song at Shalosh Seudos which begins by paraphrasing that pasuk in Yeshayahu: HaKadosh Baruch Hu is a keil mistater. HaKadosh Baruch Hu hides. HaKadosh Baruch Hu hides. Halon beseser batzel. HaKadosh Baruch Hu's presence in the world is hidden. There is one of the first things the Sfas Emes in his Sefer on Chumash quotes from his grandfather the Chidushei haRim. The Chidushei haRim says the word in Lashon haKodesh for world is olam, right? That's bri'as ha'olam we talk about. The word for world is olam. So the Chidushei haRim says: What's the etymology of that? He says the etymology is that olam comes from the root of ne'elam or leha'alim. Leha'alim means to hide. Ne'elam means to be hidden. And that the word world, olam, comes to mean world because HaKadosh Baruch Hu is hidden in the world. Similar observation has been made that the word we have for nature in Hebrew is teva. So what is the shoresh of tes bais ayin? What does it mean? So we know from Shiras haYam: Tuvu b'yam suf, right? Tuvu b'yam suf means they drowned, they were submerged. Same thing: That HaKadosh Baruch Hu's presence is submerged, it's hidden within nature, hidden within the world. The, perhaps, one of the most central challenges of our avodas Hashem of life is that for us, superficially, what seems most real is that which is tangible. That which is tangible and visible. You can feel it, you can touch it, so then it has a sense of being real to us. That which is intangible, that which is invisible, although we know in truth that ultimately not only is that what's most real, but ein od milvado, it's the only thing which is real, but superficially it's hard for us to grasp. It's hard for us to relate to. Rabbi Yehuda HaLevi and others say that that's what motivated, that was the catalyst, this need for something tangible, for something visible, was the catalyst behind the cheit ha'eigel. That that's what Klal Yisrael was searching for. So we have this need. We have this need for something tangible, for something visible, and yet HaKadosh Baruch Hu is a keil mistater. So we have shnei kesuvim. We have two ideas and there seems to be a tension here. On the one hand, our mandate is avdai hein. Our mandate is to forge a personal relationship with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Not just to comply, not just to do, but the compliance and the doing should both be an expression and the bridge to bringing us close to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. That we're intimate with HaKadosh Baruch Hu, and yet HaKadosh Baruch Hu is keil mistater. HaKadosh Baruch Hu hides. So how do we become intimate and how do we forge that personal relationship with a keil mistater? Those are the שני כתובים המכחישים זה לזה. The kosuv hashlishi is what we're talking about tonight. The kosuv hashlishi is the Torah says uvikashtem misham. The Torah says דרשו ה' ועזו בקשו פניו תמיד. That the kosuv hashlishi, what reconciles these two: On the one hand HaKadosh Baruch Hu is keil mistater. HaKadosh Baruch Hu hides, He's in the shadows. He's in the shadows, halon beseser batzel, and yet you can achieve and forge that personal relationship and connection with HaKadosh Baruch Hu, but the kosuv hashlishi is uvikashtem. A person has to be searching for HaKadosh Baruch Hu. A person has to be longing for HaKadosh Baruch Hu. A person has to be looking for HaKadosh Baruch Hu. How does that kosuv hashlishi function? so there is a very, very fundamental and profound comment from the Ba'al Shem Tov. Ba'al Shem Tov comments on the pasuk in Tehillim, on the phrase in Tehillim, Hashem tzilcha, right? We know it from the Shir Hama'alot. Hashem tzilcha. Dovid Hamelech compares Hakadosh Baruch Hu to one's shadow. Hashem is your shadow. So what's the idea that Hashem is your shadow? So says the Ba'al Shem Tov, if a person, whatever a person does, his shadow reciprocates. His shadow responds in kind. You lift your right arm so your shadow makes the same motion. You step forward, your shadow steps forward also. You withdraw, so then your shadow makes that same movement of recoiling as well. The idea being Hashem tzilcha, that Hashem reciprocates. Hashem responds. Hashem takes His cue from us. If we're searching for Hashem to find Him, then Hashem makes Himself accessible to us that we can feel Him, that we can discover Him, that we can make that connection and create that intimacy with Him. But Hashem tzilcha, if we're passive and we wait for kedusha to overtake us, if we're passive, so then kavyachol Hakadosh Baruch Hu is passive also. Hashem tzilcha. But if we're searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we're on the lookout for Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we're looking to find Him, we're looking to feel His presence, we're looking to forge that connection, so then Hashem tzilcha, Hashem responds. Which is why to be mevakesh Hashem, היבא אלי העם לדרש אלקים, to be mevakesh, to be doresh is one of the most central concepts and avodos in the Torah. So let's discuss. Obviously it goes without saying that what we're going to discuss is going to be not comprehensive and much, much more which needs to be said and needs to be thought about is not going to be discussed. But let's at least try to identify a couple of avenues of how one is mevakesh Hashem, how one searches for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Ultimately, of course, to discuss this topic comprehensively would be to discuss the totality of Torah u'mitzvot. We'll discuss a little bit and the rest will be in the class of v'idach zil g'mor. The first avenue of being mevakesh Hashem, of searching for Hashem, of trying to find Hashem, find Hashem again as the Rav said in terms of vayeda, in an experiential sense, not only in a cognitive or intellectual sense, is that we have to do, we have to think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Just think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu. To think, to reflect as often as possible on the ultimate reality of our lives, of all of existence, that we live in Hashem's presence. To think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu. To think that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is objectively omnipresent. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is mekomo shel olam. He's omnipresent. But it's up to us that He should be omnipresent in our consciousness. And it's this, just to think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu, which is the first avenue of being mevakesh Hashem. The way Dovid Hamelech phrases it in Sefer Tehillim, again, a pasuk with which we're all familiar. שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד. I have set Hashem before me constantly. שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד. I'm aware of You, Hakadosh Baruch Hu. At all times, I'm aware of You, Hakadosh Baruch Hu. A person can't search with his eyes closed. A person who has his eyes closed and his ears blocked, a person doesn't see, doesn't hear. A person has to have Hashem in front of him. A person, the way a person places Hashem, the way a person sets Hakadosh Baruch Hu in front of him, to think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu, simply to think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The Rambam writes at the beginning of Hilchos Brachos, why is it that Chazal introduced so many brachos, so many brachos? So the Rambam says the goal Chazal had in mind was לזכור את הבורא תמיד, that we should constantly be reminding ourselves, that we should constantly be reminded of Hakadosh Baruch Hu because that's, that's. The the crucial element of being mevakesh Hashem, of feeling His presence is to think about HaKadosh Baruch Hu. There there were different levels within within shivisi. The ultimate goal, which the Rambam says the Avos and Moshe Rabbeinu achieved is that they actively were thinking about HaKadosh Baruch Hu at all times, even when involved with mundane matters, they had trained themselves a sort of double, a split level of thinking or consciousness that they were able to think of HaKadosh Baruch Hu at all times. Now we aspire to that, but but short of that, there's another level which is more accessible. And that is משל למה הדבר דומה. If you ever met, if you ever made a a trip to the Soviet Union when it was still that, when it was still the totalitarian regime, so even in the last years when it was already glasnost, but but if you met someone who was an older person who had been there through the dark and terrible days of Stalin yimach shemo, there was such a fear, such a fear of what they refer to as the malchus haresha'ah, of the evil empire, the evil kingdom that it was embedded permanently in their consciousness. And anything they said, they didn't have to be, they didn't have to be consciously thinking I have to watch out, there may be an informant here, like the Gemara talks about about oznayim lakosel, about the walls having ears, it was something which was just so deeply ingrained that it was permanently embedded in their consciousness. They they could be thinking about a hundred other things, but they were always on guard against saying something which an informant could then repeat to the authorities. Another mashal, another mashal. You have someone who has a a very strong allergy to a certain food, nuts or whatever whatever the food is, and it's such a such a sensitivity, such a strong allergy that rachmana litzlan, rachmana litzlan if the person will eat something which is made with with this product, so it it could it could have fatal consequences. So this is something which is deeply ingrained again in the person's consciousness. He's not actively thinking about it all the time, no, he carries on the regular, the regular business of life, but if he'll be standing at a a smorgasbord, at a a wedding or something, so he he may be he may be engrossed in conversation with someone, but nevertheless it's so deeply ingrained in him, he won't he won't nibble on anything without first ascertaining that it doesn't have the nuts in it. Because it's possible, it's possible and we see, that's not the Avos, that's not Moshe Rabbeinu, that's just people that we can relate to. It's possible to have something so deeply ingrained and embedded within our consciousness and awareness which is so, which runs so deep and which is so profound that even without actively thinking, we always have this awareness. So that's a lower level of שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד to which we can, to which we can aspire to have this sense embedded within our consciousness, this deep and profound awareness that we're in the presence of HaKadosh Baruch Hu. The same way, the same way the person under the totalitarian regime hesitates before saying anything, everything is weighed again, what if there's a malshin around, what if there's an informant around, what are the consequences going to be? The person with the the allergy, it's embedded within him, no matter what else he's doing, he's trained, it's embedded within him, he won't put something into his mouth without ascertaining that it's free of of the peanut or whatever it is he's allergic to. So too, that's the type of awareness, a person has that feeling of שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד, so that's the basis for discovering Hashem, it's the basis for feeling HaKadosh Baruch Hu's presence. Now in fact, this, this idea, this, this avodah of thinking about HaKadosh Baruch Hu and it begins, it begins, that awareness doesn't, isn't automatically embedded or ingrained within us, we have to develop it, we have to cultivate it. The way we develop it again is by as many That we're always in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is omnipresent. To think: how many times a day, it's worth asking, how many times a day we check our voicemail, we check our email? So we take time out. Life moves at a very fast pace, but we take time out. I have to check my email, I have to check my voicemail. So how many times a day do we stop and just think, just think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu? And to what extent do we just live without even stopping to reflect on the Ribbono Shel Olam? Does a day pass, does a day pass outside of Tefilla, outside of the times of Tefilla, without thinking and without reflecting on the fact of: I live in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu? That's what it means to live, is to be in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד. In fact, the Rambam says, and the Rama again quotes this at the beginning of Shulchan Aruch, when he quotes the Rambam's exposition of שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד, that in fact it's the thinking about Hakadosh Baruch Hu which underlies the Torah's most basic mitzvah. The Torah's most basic mitzvah is yiras Hashem. The Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh comments, the Torah says in Parshas Eikev: ועתה ישראל מה ה' אלהיך שואל מעמך, right? What now, Bnei Yisrael, ve'atah Yisrael, what does Hakadosh Baruch Hu ask of you? So clearly the wording of the pasuk is a lead-in that the pasuk is going to conclude with one thing, right? If I say to you: what am I asking?, so clearly that indicates that the punchline is going to be one thing. And yet you look at the pasuk in Parshas Eikev:

ועתה ישראל מה ה' אלהיך שואל מעמך כי אם ליראה את ה' אלהיך ללכת בכל דרכיו ולאהבה ולדבקה.

The Torah has a whole list of very, very demanding things. So what do you mean ve'atah Yisrael? So the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh says: no, the pshat is that Hakadosh Baruch Hu says: I only ask one thing of you. You develop yiras shamayim, everything else will follow. Everything ensues from the yiras shamayim. You only have to develop that base of yiras shamayim and everything else will follow. That's what it means: ועתה ישראל מה ה' אלהיך שואל מעמך, taka only one thing: ליראה את ה' אלהיך. You'll have that foundation of yiras shamayim, you'll be able to build on it, and ahavas Hashem Elokecha and vehalachta bidrachav and emulating the ways of Hakadosh Baruch Hu will come and deveikus and clinging to Hakadosh Baruch Hu will follow. But it's all on a foundation of yiras shamayim. So how do we get the yiras shamayim? So the Rambam says, the Rama quotes it, this is the first seif in Shulchan Aruch, that the way that yiras shamayim is really something instinctive. It's really something instinctive. If only, if only a person ישים האדם על לבו, if only a person takes to heart, thinks, thinks. It's very, very, the strategy, the tactic is very prosaic, it's very simple. A person thinks: I'm in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. If a person thinks I'm in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, miyad, the Rambam says and the Rama quotes, miyad, immediately, instantaneously because it's something instinctive, yagia eilav hayira. Immediately, if a person is aware that he's in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, so a person instinctively feels yiras shamayim. Yiras shamayim is the basis of everything, it's the foundation of everything. הכל סוף דבר הכל נשמע את האלהים ירא, it's the foundation of everything. And it's instinctive, provided that we think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So the first avenue in terms of bakashas Hashem, simply to think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Simply to take time out every day as often as possible for as long periods of time as possible, and just think, say to oneself: I'm in the presence of the Ribbono Shel Olam, I'm always in the presence of the Ribbono Shel Olam. When one thinks about Hakadosh Baruch Hu in searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu, it helps find, it helps us find Hakadosh Baruch Hu in another sense as well. If a person is always thinking about Hakadosh Baruch Hu, a person notices hashgacha pratis in his life. A person notices the personal divine providence which Hakadosh Baruch Hu exercises in his life. It's very, very difficult to describe this in abstract terms because on... If a person is mindful of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, a person sees the Yad Hashem in his life. A person sees the hand of HaKadosh Baruch Hu in his life and clearly, clearly that helps foster again that personal and intimate relationship. When a person feels Hashem acting in his life, when a person sees the Hashgacha Pratis in his life, again it goes a long way to advancing and helping to create that that personal connection. The story is told, I don't think there's any need to mention the the name of one of the Gedolei HaDor of a previous generation. As a young man, he had been engaged. Both examples both examples I'm going to give are from the realm of yisurim, from adversity in in a person's life. Not rachmana litzlan that Hashgacha Pratis is is limited to that but those are the examples the two examples I'd like to share with you. So the story is told of one of the Gedolei HaDor of a previous generation, not too many generations ago, that as a young man he had been engaged and engaged to a bas gedolim, also ביתו של גדולי הדור. And he broke the engagement for reasons which he later felt were not adequate, were not without without proper justification. I guess obviously at the time he must have felt that they were adequate, that that it was justified, but certainly in retrospect he felt that it hadn't been it hadn't been justified and he broke the engagement. And again with all the all the shame and humiliation which which ensues. Later in his life he he married, had an only child, and then this only child died. And the only child died before having before marrying, before having children, and he was left with no no descendants. And he said that he saw this as a Yad Hashem, as a Yad Hashem that HaKadosh Baruch Hu was punishing him for what for what he had done. Why? HaKadosh Baruch Hu was a presence in his life. HaKadosh Baruch Hu was a presence in his life, so he was looking for the midah k'neged midah. If HaKadosh Baruch Hu is a presence in one's life and one knows this Hashgacha Pratis, so we look. We look for the midah k'neged midah in how HaKadosh Baruch Hu judges. A person marries, that's the basis for building a bayis ne'eman, for building a family. He saw that he was being punished in that area and and he saw Yad Hashem in his life. The same way a person sees Yad Hashem in yisurim, a person can see Yad Hashem in obviously in bracha and and hatzlacha as well. Another example. Another example, not from not from one of the Gedolei HaDor, also a maiseh shehaya. And again from the realm of yisurim, not not because Yad Hashem is only to be glimpsed there, but sometimes sometimes it's more dramatic there, or at least it seems that way to us. A couple were struggling with with infertility, struggling with with infertility. At least from the wife's vantage point. So again she was looking, she was sensitive to the Yad Hashem in her life. So she made the following cheshbon hanefesh. She, before marrying her husband, had had a a suitor, someone who was interested. She wasn't really interested in him. Basically in retrospect she realized that that she didn't really want to marry him, she never had any such intention, but she she allowed the relationship to to continue, to linger because it was sort of a security blanket. And she realized in retrospect, again, what that she felt that she had been guilty of an avlah. Because she was thinking about HaKadosh Baruch Hu, because HaKadosh Baruch Hu was in her life, so she recognized the Yad Hashem. So she did teshuva for that. She was mispallel for this person, that he should find his shidduch, that he should and and that he should be successful. And and sure enough, after some time, so Baruch Hashem, so she and her husband were blessed. A person thinks about Hashem, a person sees the hand of Hashem in rachmana litzlan what we experience as misfortune and kal v'chomer, kal v'chomer that a person sees the Yad Hashem in terms of the good fortune in his life as well. A second avenue of bakashas Hashem, second avenue of searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we actually have a paradigm for this. And the paradigm of searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu in Navi we find this term Bnei HaNevi'im. Bnei HaNevi'im means talmidim k'ruyim banim, means the disciples of the Navi'im. And basically these were people who were preparing themselves, they were working on themselves, trying to perfect themselves for the ultimate bakashas Hashem, the ultimate searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu that they should receive nevuah. Now is that a paradigm for us? Are we gonna receive nevuah? So the answer is it's a paradigm for us for two reasons. First of all, yes, yes, as wild as it may sound, so yes, every Jew aspires to nevuah. The Rav writes in Ish HaHalacha that every Jew is obligated to strive for the safe self-realization and self-actualization until he's ready to receive nevuah. That's really the goal, the destiny of every Jew is what we experienced at Ma'amad Har Sinai to re-experience that, to experience nevuah. So it is a paradigm for us, but more than that, even without that very striking idea, the regimen of the Bnei HaNevi'im provides a paradigm for our bakashas Hashem for another reason as well. The Rambam, if you take a look in his Hilchos Yesodei HaTorah, when the Rambam describes the path the Bnei HaNevi'im travel in order to prepare themselves that they should be ra'uy, that they should be worthy and fitting to receive nevuah, so the Rambam says that among other things that

מלמד נפשו שלא תהיה לו מחשבה כלל באחד מדברים בטלים ולא מהבלי הזמן ותחבולותיו.

He trains himself not to give a thought to idle matters and not to give a thought to any of the futilities of time. Havlei hazman. That's the phrase the Rambam uses. Havlei hazman. My father zichrono l'vracha pointed out that if you take a look, you find that phrase elsewhere in the Rambam as well. Two other places in particular. First of all, in Hilchos Teshuva, when the Rambam explains the remez in Mitzvas Shofar, when the Rambam explains the message, the hint, which the Torah wants us to glean from Mitzvas Shofar, so the Rambam says that Shofar again we all know the passage in the Rambam עורו ישנים משנתכם ונרדמים הקיצו מתרדמתכם. Awake from your sleep, awake from your slumber. So the Rambam says and who is that call of the Shofar addressed to? It's addressed to all of us, right? But who is that call of the Shofar addressed to? The Rambam says אלו השוכחים את האמת בהבלי הזמן, people who forget the truth because of their involvement, because of their distraction, because of their preoccupation with the havlei hazman, the same phrase. So it's not only the Navi's task to rise above havlei hazman, the futility of time, but all of us. We're all metzuveh in Mitzvas Shofar. You have it again a third time, the Rambam has at the end of Hilchos Mezuzah. The Rambam describes the reaction which passing through a doorway with a mezuzah should trigger. And the Rambam says

שכל זמן שיכנס ויצא יפגע בייחוד שמו של הקדוש ברוך הוא,

every time a person enters or leaves through a doorway with a mezuzah, יפגע בייחוד שמו של הקדוש ברוך הוא. He encounters and is reminded about Hakadosh Baruch Hu and Hakadosh Baruch Hu's unity. Yizkor ahavaso, a person should remember ahavas Hashem. ויעור משנתו ושגיוסו בהבלי הזמן. The same phrase rabosai, havlei hazman. So this call, this challenge to rise above havlei hazman, the Navi succeeds to the utmost degree. But it's a challenge for all of us. And this is the second avenue in terms of being mevakesh Hashem, the same way the Navi doesn't have the ultimate encounter with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, his quest to be mevakesh Hashem, to search for Hakadosh Baruch Hu, isn't successful unless he rises above the havlei hazman, we too also have to rise above the havlei hazman. So what are these havlei hazman. These havlei hazman which cause us, the Rambam says in Hilchos Shofar, to forget the truth, which the Rambam in Hilchos Mezuzah says lulls us into some deep spiritual sleep. So what are these havlei hazman? So it's clear from the Rambam in Hilchos Mezuzah that havlei hazman he contrasts it, the phrase itself clearly indicates that, but the Rambam contrasts it with that a person should remember וידע שאין דבר העומד לעולם ולעולמי עולמים. Nothing endures. The only thing that endures, the only thing that endures is yedias tzur haolam, is one's knowledge of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, one's closeness, one's connection, and remember the Rav's understanding of yedias, one's closeness, one's connection, one's knowledge of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that endures. Everything else is havlei hazman. Havlei hazman means that which is ephemeral, that which is transient, that which in Hebrew one would say is cholef v'over. Transient. Any by definition any involvement with material or physical which isn't mitzvah driven, which isn't a means to some spiritual end, to some spiritual goal, and often it is, often it is, there is much in the material and physical world that we maintain ourselves, we maintain our lives, and we have our mitzvah to earn a parnassah. There's much in the material and physical world which is mitzvah driven. But any involvement with material and physical as an end unto itself, any interest in pleasure just for the sake of pleasure in indulging ourselves in a materialistic way, in a physical way, all of that is part of the havlei hazman. The havlei hazman are antithetical, antithetical, they impede any bakashas Hashem, any drishas Hashem, seeking Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is eino guf. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not corporeal, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not physical. Any involvement with physical, with comfort, with material, with pleasure for its own sake, which isn't mitzvah driven, but for its own sake is antithetical to bakashas Hashem. We live in a society and we're not immune to the effects of the society, in an affluent indulgent society which is in its pursuit of pleasure is just very, very preoccupied with havlei hazman. And the degree, the extent to which we allow ourselves to be caught up in that pursuit of pleasure and comfort and that indulgent lifestyle, to the extent that we allow ourselves to become ensnared by the havlei hazman, to that extent our bakashas Hashem, our searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu is impeded. Havlei hazman also connotes another thing as well. And again you find the phrase divrei hevel, a somewhat parallel phrase, in the Rambam as well. The Rambam at the end of Hilchos De'os, when he talks about the Torah's prohibition against nekama, against taking revenge. And revenge is usually motivated by petty feelings of ego and concern for one's own kovod. So the Rambam says that the issur nekama is because

ראוי לו לאדם להיות מעביר על מדותיו על כל דברי העולם.

A person should be forgiving and should be yielding about worldly matters, why? שהכל אצל המבינים דברי הבל. Because the worldly matters which usually causes the type of strife that exists within Jewish communities, the divrei ha'olam, the Rambam says they're generally divrei hevel. Also the pettiness which causes the machlokes, the strife, that too is antithetical to bakashas Hashem, because Hakadosh Baruch Hu is above all that. To the extent that we're preoccupied with the pettiness, to that extent we're not able to be mevakesh Hashem. So those are the first two avenues in terms of bakashas Hashem. Just very quickly just want to indicate one or two others more schematically and v'idach, idach zil gmor. Another and also just to explain not to Rav Schechter has a very, a very strained voice this evening. So at the last minute it was decided that the first presentation would go a little bit longer. I apologize to those who are eagerly awaiting his divrei Torah v'hadracha. But very another just another two, three minutes rabosai. Another major area in which a person is mevakesh Hashem, in which a person searches for Hakadosh Baruch Hu is in Talmud Torah. It's not, it's not so much a rational concept, it's not, it's not something which can really be presented, understood in rational terms. It's more something mystical. So I just want to read you two excerpts which the Rav zecher tzaddik livracha quotes, once from the Baal HaTanya, once from Rav Chaim Volozhin in the Nefesh HaChaim, what happens when a person is, is preoccupied with Talmud Torah, when a person learns. כשאדם מבין ומשיג איזו הלכה. When a person understands, when he, when he apprehends a halacha, הרי שכלו מלובש בה באותה שעה. His, his intellect, his mind is enveloped by that halacha at that time.

והנה הלכה זו היא חכמתו ורצונו של הקדוש ברוך הוא.

That halacha represents the will and the wisdom of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. הרי זה משיג ותופס בשכלו, this person is apprehending, is grasping with his intellect

רצונו וחכמתו של הקדוש ברוך הוא והוא ייחוד נפלא שאין כמוהו ולא כערכו נמצא כלל.

And this is some kind of wondrous unity which a person achieves through Talmud Torah. Similarly Rav Chaim Volozhin writes in Nefesh HaChaim: ויכוון להדבק בלימודו בתורה. A person should intend, he should have kavana when he learns Torah to cling through his learning to the Torah בו בהקדוש ברוך הוא to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. היינו להדבק בכל כחותיו לדבר השם זו הלכה to cling with all his energies to the word of Hashem in the halacha, ובזה הוא דבוק בו יתברך ממש כביכול. And by clinging to divrei Torah, a person thereby clings to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Another avenue, primary avenue of being mevakesh Hashem, searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu is in Talmud Torah. The last, there are many more which need to be mentioned and elaborated, but the last just to, just very, very quickly and superficially sketch before you is Shabbos. The day of Shabbos is an opportunity, an opportunity to be mevakesh Hashem. What Shabbos represents, we're all familiar with the imagery, with the terminology of Shabbos Hamalka. The Rambam talks about Shabbos Hamelech, Shabbos Hamalka, whatever the significance of that difference is, that Shabbos is portrayed as malchus. So what does malchus represent? So malchus represents, we say in our tefilla, galei kvod malchusa. Reveal your malchus. Malchus means revelation, revelation. Rav Pinkus mentions in, in his kuntress, the halacha is even when one looks at malchus amongst, amongst flesh and blood, of basar vadam, Avigail tells David Hamelach that even though he's already been anointed, he's not yet, that has not yet achieved the status of a king because לא יצא טבעך בעולם. Because you haven't been revealed. Yes, in private Shmuel anointed you, but until, but until you consolidate, until you reveal yourself, so you don't have full din melech, you don't have the status of melech. So malchus means galei kvod malchusa. Malchus means that there's a revelation of kingdom. That's what malchus represents. When we talk about Shabbos Hamelech, Shabbos Hamalka means that kedushas Shabbos reveals Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence in the world. That's what issur melacha signifies. Issur melacha on Shabbos signifies that all activity stops because that reflects and reveals the reality that there's nothing other than Hakadosh Baruch Hu, of ein od milvado. If a person immerses himself in kedushas Shabbos, prepares for Shabbos, then davens with Shabbos'dig kavana. Sings zemiros by the table, says divrei Torah, immerses himself in kedushas Shabbos, a person can experience Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence. Shabbos is a day of melucha, it's a day of galui kvod malchuso when Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence is revealed in the world, that which we're mevakesh, that's that which we search for, so Hakadosh Baruch Hu says on every seventh day, I reveal myself in the world. But a person has to be mevakesh for that as well. A person has to be immersed in kedushas Shabbos in order to experience. May Hakadosh Baruch Hu give us the strength to take advantage of Hashem's tzilcho, Hakadosh Baruch Hu responds, Hakadosh Baruch Hu reciprocates, and may we all, may we all fulfill the mandate of the pasuk דרשו ה' ועזו בקשו פניו תמיד and that we should all experience the ישמח לב מבקשי ה'. Amen.