Hilchos Teshuva 3: Hashem is Truly Everywhere

אנא השם חטאתי עויתי פשעתי לפניך ועשיתי כך וכך והרי ניחמתי ובושתי במעשי ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה זהו עיקרו של וידוי וכל המרבה להתוודות ומאריך בעניין זה הרי זה משובח.

So clearly ikaro shel viduy means that the Rambam has reduced the nusach haviduy to its core elements. Every word is crucial here. Question is, what's the significance and why is it that one should be able to sincerely say boshti? Now, we know the Rambam's makor. We say the pesukim in Selichos אלקי בשתי וגם נכלמתי להרים פני אליך. So we know the Rambam's makor, but how does the Rambam know, or what is it that's being expressed in boshti, which is so vital to the viduy? Rabbeinu Yonah lists bushah also in Sha'ar Aleph amongst his ikarei haviduy. And Rabbeinu Yonah explains as follows, sort of just amplifying a little bit what the Rabbeinu Yonah says. Leaving aside the category of tinok shenishba, so the truth is that there's a common denominator to all chata'im. Again, each cheit sort of has its own history, its own dynamic. A person has this shortcoming, this flaw, this taivah, and each one has its individual character and identity, but all of them notwithstanding, there's also a common denominator. And the mashal is as follows. Let's say you have someone who's about to take a major exam. His life dreams depend upon his scoring well on this exam, but he's not really adequately prepared. So he's decided he's going to cheat. So he has his strategy mapped out. So he comes into the examination room, he looks up, the proctor's staring at him. Okay. Wait a few minutes, looks up again, right there, the proctor's staring at him. Throughout the entire three hours of the exam, the proctor never once takes his eyes off of him. So what happens? He doesn't cheat. Not because he had this radical transformation and became a more moral person, but there's no point in cheating if you're not going to get away with it. If the price you're going to pay for cheating is much worse than the to'eles, the benefit of cheating, so then we don't cheat. So how is it that we're not inhibited from cheit, whatever the shortcoming is, whatever the flaw is, whatever the taivah is? So how come, how is it that we're not inhibited from cheit because the proctor's watching? Hakadosh Baruch Hu is watching. So says Rabbeinu Yonah אין זה אלא היות השם יתברך רחוק מכל יחסו. That Hakadosh Baruch Hu's not on our radar screen. And that's how cheit happens. That's what opens the door to cheit. That's what makes cheit enticing. That's what makes cheit seem worthwhile is because השם יתברך רחוק מכל יחסו. What engenders bushah? So if I walk into an empty room and I clumsily trip over my own feet, so I'm not going to be embarrassed. No one saw. If I walk into a room and the room is packed full of people and for whatever reason when I opened the door it made a big noise, so everyone looked up, and then I trip over my own feet clumsily, so then I'm going to be very embarrassed. So bushah is engendered by one's frailties being exposed. So why is a person embarrassed about cheit? So I think most chata'im we do privately. So what are we embarrassed? So no, it means boshti means that a person has to be able to say Ribbono shel Olam, whereas when I was chotei, I was unaware of Your presence, I was oblivious to Your presence, now when I'm being misvadeh, חייב להתוודות לפני האל ברוך הוא, so now I feel that awareness acutely. And that's why it's so vital, because that really addresses the root and the core cause of cheit, which was again that we were oblivious to Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence. So in the viduy, we have to be able to sincerely say, but now Ribbono shel Olam I'm so aware of Your presence that בשתי וגם נכלמתי להרים פני אליך. Have a good day and a gut voch. Great, which was again that we were oblivious to Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence. So in the viduy, we have to be able to sincerely say, but now, Ribono Shel Olam, I'm so aware of your presence that בושתי להרים פני אליך. Have a good day and have a גוט ערב יום כיפור.