Self-Absorption & Teshuva

כי המצוה הזאת אשר אנכי מצוך היום לא נפלאת היא ממך ולא רחוקה היא.

This mitzvah that I command you today is not something that's concealed from you nor is it something which is distant. B'ezrat Hashem, I'd like to try together to just briefly reflect on one aspect of the Ramban's seminal comments to this pasuk. Ramban writes: אבל המצוה הזאת על התשובה הנזכרת. The mitzvah to which the Torah refers refers to teshuva. והשבות אל לבבך ושבת עד ה' אלהיך in the preceding psukim here in Parshat Nitzavim: מצוה שיצונו לעשות כן. It's a commandment to do teshuva. Why doesn't it appear in the imperative if that's the case? Why doesn't it say shuv? Why does it say v'shavta? V'ne'emar b'lashon beinoni. The reason it's not in the imperative, it's in, again, a simple past with a vav hahipuch meaning future: לרמוז בהבטחה כי עתיד הדבר להיות כן. Because it's both mitzvah and havtacha.

והטעם לומר אם יהיה נדחך בקצה השמים ואתה ביד העמים.

Even when you'll be dispersed to the four corners of the earth and you'll be subjugated, that won't present any impediment.

תוכל לשוב אל ה' ולעשות ככל אשר אנכי מצוך היום כי אין הדבר נפלא ורחוק ממך.

There's nothing external that's necessary to do teshuva. Were there something external necessary, so then conceivably it might not be at hand. אבל קרוב אליך מאד לעשותו בכל עת ובכל מקום. But it's always, the opportunity to do teshuva is always available, is always accessible. וזה טעם בפיך ובלבבך לעשותו. And that's what the pasuk means, b'ficha u'vilvavcha la'asoto. שיודו את עונם ואת עון אבותם בפיהם to acknowledge chet, to verbalize, וישובו בלבם אל ה' and to inwardly, internally affect change that a person redirects himself to Hakadosh Baruch Hu,

ויקבלו עליהם היום התורה לעשותה לדורות כאשר הזכיר אתה ובניך בכל לבבך ככל אשר פירשתי.

Generally, when we think of the definition of teshuva, so the Rambam's ikaro shel viduy comes to mind: חטאתי עויתי פשעתי לפניך ועשיתי כך וכך. Rebelliously, הנחמתי ובושתי ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. And, and I've resolved to do what's necessary, to implement whatever is needed, never to regress to that chet. That's our frame. That's how we sort of frame teshuvah. And yet, the Ramban here makes an extraordinary shift. When the, when the Ramban speaks of vidui, so the Ramban borrows, as it were, the phraseology from Parshas Bechukosai,

וזה טעם בפיך ובלבבך לעשותו שיתודו את עונם ואת עון אבותם.

And when he speaks about the kabbalah lehaba, so contrast this with again our orientation of ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. The Ramban's kabbalah lehaba is

ויקבלו עליהם היום הטובה לעשותו לדורות כאשר הזכיר אתה ובניך בכל לבבך.

There's an unmistakable focus here in the Ramban that when we do teshuvah, the teshuvah doesn't only relate to a person individually. The teshuvah encompasses, the vidui goes back in time and in generations, והתודו את עונם ואת עון אבותם, and the kabbalah similarly looks forward ledorei doros, אתה ובניך לעשותו לדורות. So hav nishbonen. I am aware of chata'im that I've done. And when the Ramban presents the paradigm of teshuvah, that teshuvah encompasses ancestors and progeny, the doros she'avru and the doros ha'atidim liyos. So let's briefly mention three perspectives, or three possible understandings of this Ramban. First, the context in which mitzvas teshuvah is presented earlier here in Parshas Nitzavim, the pesukim that the Ramban refers back to, והיה כי יבאו אליך כל הדברים here in Parshas Nitzavim,

והיה כי יבאו אליך כל הדברים האלה הברכה והקללה אשר נתתי לפניך והשבות אל לבבך,

pasuk number one with the, the tzivui of teshuvah, בכל הגוים אשר הדיחך ה' אלהיך שמה. Veshavta, pasuk number two,

עד ה' אלהיך ושמעת בקלו, ככל אשר אנכי מצוך היום אתה ובניך—the

Ramban's pasuk—בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך. And then the Torah continues, ושב ה' אלהיך שבותך ורחמך. There's going to be an ingathering of all the goliyos.

ושב וקבצך מכל העמים אשר הפיצך ה' אלהיך שמה. אם יהיה נדחך בקצה השמים משם יקבצך ה' אלהיך ומשם יקחך.

Skipping one pasuk,

ומל ה' אלהיך את לבבך ואת לבב זרעך לאהבה את ה' אלהיך בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך למען חייך.

Or in other words, the Torah is depicting not only teshuvah, But teshuvah that precipitates, that triggers the geulah, the geulah atidah. The Ramban's comment on

והיה כי יבוא אליך כל הדברים האלה כבר הזכרתי כי הפרשה הזאת עתידה כי כל ענייניה לא היו ולא נבראו אבל הם עתידים להיות.

The Torah is talking about the geulah atidah. The geulah atidah is a geulah which doesn't reverse history, but it represents the culmination of history and ushers the beriah into a new stage. So maybe the pshat in the Ramban is that the Ramban's depiction of teshuvah as going back and looking forward, והתודו את עונם ואת עון אבתם on the one hand and the קבלה לדורות אתה ובניך on the other hand is because only such a teshuvah can bring the geulah. Maybe, maybe if it's just a teshuvah that's less, with less dramatic consequences, not the teshuvah which is going to, again, bring history to its culmination, so then maybe hachi nami, maybe our focus in teshuvah can be more limited. Maybe then the Ramban would be content with a focus of לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה and with a focus of chatasi, avisi, pashati. Perspective number two: every chet bracketing the class of tinok shenishba, every chet represents a zilzul in mitzvos. Chet is only possible if a person, to understate things, takes a mitzvah lightly at the very least. Chet is only possible because there's a zilzul in mitzvos, which means that teshuvah represents a rededication to upholding the incomparable chashivus of mitzvos hatorah. The teshuvah has to be commensurate to the chet. If there's an equation as there is between chet and zilzul in mitzvos, then there has to be an equation between teshuvah and chizuk mitzvos, being machshiv mitzvos. Now the definition of a mitzvah is that it's ledoros. To value a mitzvah accurately, to relate, to have the correct attitude to a mitzvah, a person has to relate to this isn't only an imperative which binds me in Tashpag, in Tashpab. It's a mitzvah ledorei doros. And as such, the teshuvah has to spill over, it has to become something intergenerational. The tikkun for zilzul in mitzvos is the chizuk hamitzvah. But hamitzvos l'doros. It's not enough that I compensate for my rachmana litzlan zilzul in mitzvos by rededicating myself. It begins with that, of course, but it doesn't end with that. Person has to be mechazek hamitzva. Mitzvos l'doros, a mitzva is for all Jews. Perspective number three, rabosai. Once again, bracketing the category of someone who simply doesn't know any better. Cheit, and let's try to pay careful attention to this, rabosai. Cheit results from self-absorption. Cheit results from self-absorption. That's immediately apparent when we reflect upon חטא בין אדם לחברו, but it's equally true for חטא בין אדם למקום. I'm so focused on what I want, what I don't want, what's easy for me, what's comfortable for me, that that becomes the dominating and deciding factor. Wherever one finds cheit, one finds an element of self-absorption. We don't necessarily think of it in such crude terms, and we certainly don't like to think of it in such crude terms, but effectively, practically, it is the case. Why did I do what I wasn't supposed to do, be it bein adam l'chavero, be it bein adam lamakom? I wanted to, I didn't want to, I didn't want to do what I was supposed to do, it didn't speak to me, it didn't resonate, I didn't want to make whatever sacrifice was necessary. But whatever the explanation is, and there are all kinds of permutations, it all comes back to one word: me. Where there's cheit, there's an element of self-absorption. It's possible for teshuva, certain types of teshuva, to be self-centered as well. If it's a teshuva which is motivated by concern for my own fate, my own liability, and it's a teshuva which is only focused on affecting self- change changing my own behavior. So the self-absorption has sort of been shifted from a self-absorption in the mundane realm to a self-absorption in terms of spiritual survival, which is a crucial, crucial, crucial shift, but certainly not something which we can be content with. The Ramban depicts teshuva, this is perspective number three Rabosai. The Ramban depicts teshuva, the Viduy looking back is והתוודו את עוונם ואת עוון אבותם. The Kabala Lehaba looking forward is Ata U'vanecha L'doros because teshuva has to as much as possible erase and uproot the self-absorption. The Itzele Volozhiner writes in his Hakdama to the Nefesh Hachayim self-effacingly describing his father Rav Chaim Volozhiner והיה רגיל להוכיח אותי, my father would regularly rebuke me על שראה שאינני משתתף בצערן של אחרים. Again, he self-effacingly says that my father would see I didn't empathize, I didn't feel the suffering of others. And my father would regularly rebuke me for that וכה היו דבריו אלי תמיד Shezeh Kol Ha'adam. And this is what he constantly would tell me שזה כל האדם לא לעצמו נברא, a person is not created for himself, Rak Leho'il Leachrina, to help others בכל אשר ימצא בכוחו לעשות. One wonders if if that's what Rav Chaim Volozhiner said to a Tzaddik V'Kadosh such as his son Rav Itzele, one wonders what Rav Chaim Volozhiner would tell us. You know Rabosai, when when you think about it, one of the causes, not the only cause, and it's not the cause in every case, but sometimes it is the cause, when we're down, when we're frustrated, when we're upset, in a type of malaise feeling down, it correlates with being overly focused on ourselves. And I don't know how often we're down because other people have tzaros. We're down when we even have annoyances and irritations, על אחת כמה וכמה if they even actually rise to the level of tzaros. The world has been living for over a year and a half now through a pandemic. One of the elements that was first understood about COVID and remains true, so much in terms of understanding has developed, has changed, but this was understood very early and remains true and there's no indication and no reason to think this is going to change, is that the indispensable key to our doing our share to control the virus is that people need to measure their behavior not just in terms of what the risk factor is to themselves but what it is to others. This was understood very early on. It was recognized very early on that the virus posed and continues to pose the greatest threat to elderly, to other vulnerable groups in the population, most notably immunocompromised. And it was understood very early on that there's an obligation that we each have when decisions are made as to whether certain health measures are necessary, are warranted. Those decisions need to be made not in terms of what is my risk factor, but what's the risk factor to the klal. And even though medically this has been understood for basically a year and a half, the question to think about bein kesseh le-asor is: has it been understood religiously? Has it been practiced religiously? Obviously, this is not the time or the forum to discuss or try to clarify right now ba'asher hu sham in the midst of the Delta surge what those health measures are. But it is the time and it is the forum to be thinking about how those decisions are made. People see a young person being careful and they say incredulously to the young person, "Are you really scared? Do you really think that the virus poses a threat to you?" זה כל האדם לא לעצמו נברא. How can there be such blinding self-centeredness? Again, we're not talking about what the conclusions are that should emerge. We're talking about the process. The process is not "Do I need this measure?", it's "If I don't take this measure, do I risk being a link in a chain that will affect someone else?" And when the answer to that question is yes, that the concern rises to a level where the answer is yes, so then I'm not going to adopt that measure because I find it uncomfortable, because I'm tired of it already? Because psychologically I thought once I got vaccinated that I had put this all behind me? That's a justification for engaging in behavior where it's possible and when we all engage in that behavior likely if not inevitable that one of us, some of us, will be links in a chain to something very bad. There's chet, a person's behavior doesn't measure up to a seif in Shulchan Aruch, and there's a mindset of chet. The mindset of chet is self-absorption. That's what the mindset of chet is, rabosai. Obviously this has applications and implications in all areas of life, in no way limited to the ongoing excruciating parsha of the pandemic. We focus on it not only because the stakes are so great there, but also because it just very effectively shines a spotlight. It holds a magnifying glass in case we've allowed our vision to become dim in this area. So currently there's a magnifying glass to help us see it. And yitachen that the peshat in Ramban, maybe it's the peshat, maybe we're using the Ramban as a point of departure, but either way it's emes is that definitionally teshuva has to involve moving away from the self-absorption of chet and moving towards a sensitivity, a life of זה כל האדם לא לעצמו נברא. A gut yor, rabosai, a gmar chasima tova.