Mashpia and Mushpa

זה נמשך בדעותיו ובמעשיו אחר רעיו וחבריו ונוהג במנהג אנשי מדינתו.

Human nature, says the Rambam, is that a person is drawn in his dispositions, his middos, his hashkafos, his actions. He's drawn after friends, colleagues, and he acts in accordance, he conforms, he's a conformist, ונוהג במנהג אנשי מדינתו. What's the pshat? Pshat is as follows lechora. Mesillas Yesharim explains in Perek Gimel, after giving the mashal of the maze, he says that the nimshal is:

כן הדבר הזה מי שעדיין לא משל ביצרו הוא בתוך השבילים.

Person who hasn't yet gained mastery over his yetzer hara, he's the nimshal to the person who's wandering around within the maze. לא יוכל להבחין ביניהם. He can't tell which path will get him out and which path will just get him further lost. אך המושלים ביצרם שכבר הגיעו אל האכסדרה, those who have, again, gained mastery over their yetzer hara, they've already in terms of the mashal, they've already successfully navigated the maze:

שכבר יצאו מן השבילים וראו כל הדרכים לעיניהם בביאור הם יכולים לייעץ למי שירצה לשמוע ועליהם צריכים אנו להאמין.

We're not, says Ramchal, we're not self-sufficient in ruchaniyus. A person is not born moshel beyitzro. A person is therefore not self-sufficient in ruchaniyus and has to be able to accept hadracha from those who have already been moshel beyitzro. So the pshat in what the Rambam is telling us, Rambam's not just telling us something which is a weakness in the human character, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu for some reason created us with such a weakness. No. Like everything, like every mida, there's the positive potential and need. We're created that beteva a person is mushpa. A person is influenced because we need to be able to receive guidance and to absorb influence. We need to be influenced. So the

דרך בריאתו של אדם שהיה נמשך בדעותיו ובמעשיו אחר רעיו וחבריו ונוהג כמנהג אנשי מדינתו

is something which is crucial, which is pivotal in avodas Hashem. But like everything in this bri'ah, זה לעומת זה עשה אלוקים. Once a person is a mushpa, once that is the teva of a person to be mushpa, so then it can be הן לטוב הן למוטב. A person can absorb a hashpa'ah that Ramchal is telling us to absorb, a person can absorb other hashpa'os. A similar idea magnified but Limited to a certain stage of life, the Chovos HaLevavos discusses and says that if you look at the period of dependence that human children have versus the young in the animal kingdom, so we remain dependent on our parents longer than the animal young remain dependent on their mothers. And says Rabbeinu Bachya, and what’s the peshat in that? Because Hakadosh Baruch Hu prolongs the period of dependence because as long as we’re dependent, we’re more open to being molded. And a person has to be nischannech, a person has to be molded. So that’s an even more dramatic stage, right? We’re even more impressionable and even more easily influenced and molded when we’re young, but the teva of a person to be a mushpa, so that remains, again, even when that stage of life that the Chovos HaLevavos is talking about has passed, that remains. And because we need to be able to absorb the right hashpa'ah. So given that reality, again, a reality which can and should and is supposed to be used letovah, that a person is so easily mushpa, so how does one detect if he has been negatively influenced? How does a person take preventive measures to avoid being negatively influenced? So in that same perek, as you recall, so Ramchal says and what is the eitzah that the moshlim biyitzram give us, a Gemara in Bava Basra he's quoting, ba'u cheshbon,

בואו ונחשב חשבונו של עולם כי כבר הם ניסו וראו וידעו שזה לבדו הוא הדרך האמיתי להגיע אדם על הטוב אשר הוא מבקש ולא זולתו.

A person has to make a cheshbon hanefesh. Has to make a cheshbon hanefesh. The question is, heyos that earlier in the perek, Ramchal has explained that the chomriyos and gashmiyos olam hazeh is comparable to חושך הלילה לעין השכל, so when I make my cheshbon hanefesh, I’m still sharooy bachoshech. You would have thought that the punchline from Ramchal of that we need to look for hadrachah to those who are moshel biyitzram is then they should make the cheshbon hanefesh for us. But that’s not the punchline. The punchline is that then we’re supposed to make the cheshbon hanefesh. But why isn't that cheshbon hanefesh also potentially undermined or why isn't it actually undermined, it can always potentially be undermined, why isn't it actually undermined by the choshech and the types of tauyos of choshech that Ramchal spoke about earlier? So then he reiterates,

כללו של דבר צריך האדם להיות מתבונן בשכלו תמיד בכל זמן ובזמן קבוע לו בהתבודדו מה הוא הדרך האמיתי לפי חוק התורה שאדם צריך ללכת בו.

So Ramchal says the cheshbon hanefesh involves hisbonnenus during a period of hisbodedus. The cheshbon hanefesh. Generally and this is true I think our association with hisbodedus is to be able to concentrate you need a quiet place. If there's too much commotion surrounding us so you can't think clearly. And that's true. But itochen that the need for hisbodedus goes further than that. We're all familiar in psychology I think it's called mob psychology such a phenomenon. Phenomenon that people will do or say things with the reinforcement of others maybe with the spoken or unspoken cajoling and exhortation of others that they wouldn't in private. Kitzur maiseh a person with other people isn't necessarily true to himself. And what Ramchal here is telling us is something remarkable. With all the choshech of the gashmius and the chomriyus with all that choshech with all the double potential for the two types of tauyos which choshech engenders just blind spots as well as distortions if a person will be misboded and free himself of the momentum the negative momentum which often is present and exerting a force so that a person has the ability the choshech notwithstanding during a time of hisbonenus if it's with hisbodedus to see the truth. The choshech notwithstanding the being nimshach achar chomriyus notwithstanding if we really want it so we have an ability to discern what's emes. And therefore Ramchal the solution no the solution listen to the eitzah of the moshlim biyitzrom of בואו החשבון חשבונו של עולם but then each of us is capable with the appropriate yedios of making that cheshbono shel olam. It's a tremendous vote of confidence. And the reason or part of the reason for that vote of confidence is that while many situations in life are difficult many situations in life seem very complex and very gray the emes is there's a lot in life that's black and white. Whose oversimplification is that? That's mine or I'm quoting it from someone. Psukim in chumash.

ראה נתתי לפניך היום את החיים ואת הטוב ואת המות ואת הרע.

Torah makes it sound very simple. Es chayim es tov es moves what do you mean things are so complicated. Yeah ein hachi nami there are times when things are complicated but there are many things in life which aren't that complicated. And if only a person again it's not enough to the hisbonenus together with hisbodedus all the choshech of the chomriyus. the gashmiyus notwithstanding so we have that ability in דבר העומד בפני הרצון the ability has to be marshalled by the desire by the ratzon to exercise the ability we have the ability to recognize because at the end of the day many many things are white and black. Yeah of course there's gray in life a lot of hard situations and decisions where we need to look for eitzas but there's a lot of החיים את הטוב את המות את הרע. So clearly that's one way Ramchal's hisbonenus hisbodedus for a person to give himself a spiritual checkup have I been mushpa in what areas have I been mushpa. Another area Meshech Chochma explains that there's two types of tochacha. There's tochacha when an adam gadol a tzadik a chasid muram me'am gets up and gives us tochacha. That's one sort of tochacha. There's another sort of tochacha וחרוב ירושלים על שלא הוכיחו זה את זה. Another type of tochacha he says that the mochiach isn't necessarily a gadol a tzadik a muram me'am. And for that matter he's not necessarily standing up and saying divrei musar but his behavior his conduct there's something that he does lav davka everything he does there's some things that he does which can serve as an example for us as a shining example which can there is some aspects in which he can serve as a role model and the הוכיחו זה את זה says Reb Simcha is that we don't only learn from again the gedolim tzadikim who can give us musar but even just looking at each other. Now while that also means and clearly both forms of tochacha are also ways of checks and balances of forms of checks and balances in terms of looking to see how much I've been mushpa. With regard to the second one it's not only looking at our chaverim but it's also looking to other communities communities that again when Orthodox Jews are described sociologically are clearly identified as belonging to a different community than we do. I'm not aware that anyone has a monopoly on truth or embodies perfection which is why it's true for everyone that the הוכיחו זה את זה has such tremendous potential. Sometimes if we limit our הוכיחו זה את זה to our own daled amos so as much as within our own daled amos so is deosenu shonos but they're still gonna be certain things that we all take for granted and maybe that insight is gonna come from the looking to see how other communities do things and reciprocally they'll learn things from looking at how we do things. What about insulating oneself against hashpo? So until now we've been talking about how do we check for alien influences, for negative influences that we've already imbibed. But what about preventive? What about insulating ourselves? What about when things are happening in our daled amos which we recognize are wrong? So here it's very very important that we realize the following. Again, above and beyond and I don't think we're going to talk about that tonight, maybe another time, above and beyond the mitzvos tochacha to reach out to others within our sphere of influence to try to correct it. Tochacha agav agav, when it comes from the right part of a person's heart, is the ultimate expression of love. It's a posuk in Mishlei: hochech l'chacham v'ye'ehaveka. And whatever other perspectives on tochacha are correct and appropriate, this one shouldn't be lost. The ultimate love that you shower on a person is to be mochiach the person. Mochiach doesn't have to mean, mochiach means, the Rambam says lehachziro lemutav, whatever is the most effective way. Doesn't necessarily mean hitting the person over the head, lav davka. But maybe for another occasion. But let's focus for a moment on given the fact that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created us that we're always potentially mushpoim. So what do we do when we're aware of negative hashpo'os? And clearly the closer they are to us, the more pressing the question becomes. There's a well-known maiseh with the Chofetz Chaim. The Chofetz Chaim once came, I think I'm saying the details correctly, I think so, to talk about the problem of חילול שבת רחמנא ליצלן and gave a drasha in shul on Shabbos about kedushas Shabbos, the need to safeguard kedushas Shabbos, the tragedy, rachmana litzlan, of chillul Shabbos, and then said but maybe you'll ask that I'm preaching to the, how does the saying go, to the choir, those who are in shul Shabbos. Those who are in shul on Shabbos, Shomer Shabbos. So what's the point of giving such a drasha here? So the Chofetz Chaim answered that when you try to, the first thing you do when there's a fire, he says, before you try to put out the fire is you spread water where the fire hasn't yet spread. First thing you have to do is contain the fire. He says once you contain the fire, once you've soaked the area where the fire hasn't reached and you can feel confident that it's been contained, then you can try to put out the fire. So he says the first thing he says when there's a problem with Chilul Shabbos is to be mechazek Shomer Shabbos. So the first thing that we have to do when things around us are wrong, maybe as is often the case just because people don't know any better, people may be totally sincere but just don't know any better and don't realize, the first thing to do is to be mechazek ourselves, to be mechazek ourselves. And to be mechazek means chizuk doesn't mean it have to be chiddushim. It doesn't have to be chiddushim. It can be chazara, usually ends up with chiddushim because who gets everything the first time around in a Blat Gemara? But even if it isn't, obviously it's important just be-toras chazara. Obviously what we're talking about has very broad applications and giving one illustration is not intended in any way to limit its relevance or applicability. But everyone knows that to watch something on TV where a person sees things which is assur mikol hadayos, ונשמרת מכל דבר רע, that that's assur to do. So we know that. We know that. It's not a chiddush. Even if that's excised, to be machshiv, to be machshiv divrei hevel, that it has a chashivos. Not stam that it's a form of relaxation, no, but that it's a red letter day, an occasion and event. So to be machshiv divrei hevel v'havai, so we know of the corrosive effect that that has on a person. But we should chazer. We should chazer. In the same way bimkom Chilul Shabbos we should chazer yesodos of Kedusha Shabbos. It's important. It's important to pour water. We shouldn't think that דרך בריאתו של אדם doesn't apply to us. Vaday it does apply to us. But there's a more subtle point here also rabosai. There's a more subtle point. Let's say, and I don't know how often this actually is the case, but let's hypothetically, let's say that Toras Tochacha there's no toeles that a person's going to achieve. Leaving leaving that aside what the Rambam tells us that a person the teva of a person is that he's a mushpa. What that means is that if I just sort of passively observe what's wrong without at least reacting for myself, even if there's no other audience that I can reach, if I don't react for myself, the exposure is a force. The exposure is a hashpa'oh, because that's what it means שדרך ברייתו של אדם to be mushpa. So it's not the pshat that, okay, so I'm standing on the sidelines, I'm having nothing to do with it. No, by definition, heyos the derech bri- it's a little bit of a subtle point, raboisai, but it's it's it's a very important point. היות שדרך ברייתו של אדם is that he's nimshach. So it means that even though I don't I don't participate, but for myself I have to react for myself because there has to be a countervailing force, because there's automatically a force because it's שדרך ברייתו של אדם to be mushpa. So there always has to be a reaction, because otherwise that שדרך ברייתו של אדם when I'm exposed to something again, which everyone involved may may may be a hundred percent sincere and just not know any better, and that's often the case, but it still remains something negative and as such, you know, the yesod of כיוון שעבר אדם עבירה ושנה בה נעשית לו כהיתר. There's a similar psychological dynamic in seeing something. Seeing something also, it dulls our sensitivity. The story is told of Rav Aharon Kotler when he first came to America he lived in he lived in Manhattan, lived on the on the the the West Side. I think he and he and Rav Mendel Zaks were upstairs and downstair neighbors. An awful lot of Torah compressed into one into one building there. And that's even when he had the when he had the yeshiva already in Lakewood, he used to used to commute. And then then he decided that he was moving, he was going to move to Lakewood. And when he was asked why, what made him change things, so he said because he senses that he's not as upset by the chilul Shabbos that he sees. He wasn't saying that that Rachmana litzlan he feels a yeitzer hara to to be mechalleil Shabbos, he wasn't saying that. He was saying but the exposure was dulling his sensitivity. That the pain, the anguish that that he experienced in seeing chilul Shabbos, it wasn't as acute anymore. And he knew he had to move. There are fewer obviously fewer Jews in in Lakewood than there were in Manhattan and and be exposed to to and and not see as as much chilul Shabbos as he saw that it was having a a deleterious effect because שדרך ברייתו של אדם להיות נמשך means that inaction means absorbing a negative hashpa'oh. At times, so maybe maybe maybe there'll be nothing to do other than go to the beis medrash and and open a Mesillas Yesharim or Sha'arei Teshuva, maybe. But even if that's the, even, but we need to do that because otherwise we gradually, gradually we become desensitized. And that in and of itself is a problem. It's not just because it's a slippery slope, which it also is. But in and of itself, without appealing to the, to the slippery slope, it's a problem. Certainly, whenever there seems to be something that can be done other than just countering the negative or potential negative hashpacha that one's going to absorb, certainly then the total passivity is, becomes doubly problematic because ultimately, and this is sort of the flip side of what, of the pasuk in Mishlei that we were talking about before, that a chacham will love you for tochacha. When we're totally passive, so what that sometimes either reflects or instills is writing off what, whoever or or whatever it is that we're being totally passive about. And if there is what to be done, on on whatever level, talking to a, talking to a chaver, an acquaintance who just has never never been taught, never been exposed, and doesn't have the the basis or the background to understand, whether to look to to people she-yesh beyadam to make tikunim. If those opportunities exist, then we need to avail ourselves of them. Again, not only, I guess it's it's just the one level of what the mitzva of hocheach tochiach is, because otherwise, otherwise it's abandoning people. So it's not, ultimately, it's not, it's not confrontation and it doesn't even have to seem that way. Sometimes it does, it does have to seem that way. But very often it doesn't have to seem that way. But ultimately, it's a sense of of concern and and not saying anything is is what reflects or what generates a.