Mesiras Nefesh 2; Ratzon

about Mesiras Nefesh. Let's continue just for a few minutes to develop the ideas a little bit more. We spoke last week that in addition to the most basic association that we have with the term Mesiras Nefesh, that it means to surrender one's life to the Ribbono Shel Olam. But Nefesh also in the sense of Rotzon. אם יש את נפשכם. And Mesiras Nefesh means, depending upon circumstances, either to be mevatel or mechaven. Either to surrender or to entirely channel one's Rotzon for Rotzon Hashem. So let's just elaborate that a little bit, rabosai. If we're to ask, what's the essence of a person's avodas Hashem? What's the core, the crux of a person's avodas Hashem? So the answer is that the essence of one's avodas Hashem is the Rotzon to be oived Hashem. The Rotzon that one has to do retzon Hashem. The desire, the she'ifah to do retzon Hashem. The actual implementation of that Rotzon, the actual asiyah, the actual maisim is not, is not biyadeinu. That's totally siyata d'shmaya. So the essence of a person's avodas Hashem, again, is the Rotzon. And again, understood, understood that if the Rotzon is real and the Rotzon is genuine and Hakadosh Baruch Hu allows for it, obviously that Rotzon is going to translate into action. But the essence of what we're called to do is to have that Rotzon to do retzon Hashem. There is an insight attributed to the Rebbes of Ger in the saying of אין דבר העומד בפני הרצון. So at first glance, it's not true. It's not true. Everyone knows from personal experience that there are times we want to do something and we don't succeed in doing it. So what do you mean אין דבר העומד בפני הרצון? So the Rebbes of Ger say אין דבר העומד בפני הרצון means that there's nothing to prevent a person from having the Rotzon. There's no excuse, a person can't be oness, a person can't plead that he was oness in that I couldn't want, I couldn't desire, I couldn't have the longing and the yearning, that's אין דבר העומד בפני הרצון. There a person is given a bechirah chofshis muchletes. When the Ribbono Shel Olam allows us to act and implement our Rotzon, so that's up to him. But אין דבר העומד בפני הרצון. It's interesting in this context, al pi agaddah, to reflect on a few lines of Rav Chaim writes in Hilchos Shabbos. Rav Chaim has in his famous ma'aracha where he interprets that the Rambam agrees with the Aruch that פסיק רישא דלא ניחא ליה is muttar, against the rov rishonim that פסיק רישא דלא ניחא ליה is muttar. So in that context, Rav Chaim writes as follows. הן נראה דהנך שני דינים, and the other din he's talking about is the din of meleches machsheves, חלוקים הם ביסוד דינם מהדדי דבדין דבר שאינו מתכוין, right, we pasken like Rabbi Shimon that a davar she'eino miskavein is muttar,

דבדין דבר שאינו מתכוין העיקר תלוי בכונתו ורצונו ואפילו אם יודע בודאי שיעשה הדבר. והוא עושה את הדבר בדעת מכל מקום תלוי בכוונתו,

skipping a few lines,

דבדין דבר שאינו מתכוון של כל התורה כולה עיקר דינו הוא שיהיה רצונו וכוונתו לזה.

Now it's clear obviously the fact that Rabbi Yehuda holds that a davar she'eino miskavein is assur, the fact that the Eidus Shmona MiGur, the Rambam in Arachin isn't a stirah to what we're talking about. Shayla's how you apply the yesod of ratzon. So Rabbi Yehuda says hayos that a person willingly does something that he knows might result in an issur, that's also a bechinah of ratzon. So the relevance and the implications of Rabbi Shimon's shita are clear, Rabbi Yehuda's shita, the Eidus Shmona within Rabbi Shimon are no stirah to it. The mahus of a person's avodah is the ratzon and mimmela Rabbi Shimon says that's how the Torah measures a person's actions. If retzono lazeh, has to be that retzono lazeh.

ואהבת את ה׳ אלוקיך בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך ובכל מאודך. רש״י בכל מאודך בכל ממונך. יש לך אדם שממונו חביב עליו מגופו ובכך נאמר בכל מאודך.

So the peak, the ultimate in קבלת עול מלכות שמיים in ahavas Hashem is that a person surrenders to Hakadosh Baruch Hu that which is most chaviv to him, that which he most wants, that which he most cherishes. A person is willing and ready as situation, as circumstances warrant to surrender that to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, so hayos again that the ratzon again is the essence of the person's avodah, so that's the ultimate in terms of one's קבלת עול מלכות שמיים, in terms of one's ahavas Hashem. Think in the biography of the Chofetz Chaim it says that the Chofetz Chaim at one point asked his son-in-law to assume responsibilities as the menahel of the Yeshiva in Radin. And his son-in-law didn't really, wasn't really interested in the position. He didn't want to be tored with administrative responsibilities. He wanted to sit and learn and he didn't want to have to have these responsibilities. So the Chofetz Chaim told him, refer to this I think it's a Sifrei that Rashi's quoting on בכל מאודך בכל ממונך. He says but what's pshat? How does the word bechol me'odecha mean bechol mamoncha? There's nothing in the semantics of me'odecha that means mamoncha. So he says no, it's clear though what Rashi, what the Sifrei is telling us. Me'odecha again means means very, right? Tov me'od, very good. It means that for which a person has the most to which the person has the most intense attachment, that which a person desires and craves the most. So when a person gives that to Hakadosh Baruch Hu as circumstances warrant, as circumstances call for, so that's the ultimate expression of ahavas Hashem. So he said to him, so right now the Yeshiva needs you to in position of hanhala, so that's your bechol, that's your kiyum of u'bechol me'odecha. From this vantage point we can understand the Torah's emphasis that we're supposed to be

עובד את ה׳ בשמחה. תחת אשר לא עבדת את ה׳ אלוקיך בשמחה ובטוב לבב מרוב כל.

If a person isn't oveid besimcha, if a person has a sense that his avodas Hashem, that the Torah is a burden rachmana litzlan, something onerous rachmana litzlan, so it's lacking in the ratzon. It means there's a ratzon, he is doing it, he is doing it, so. Obviously to some level and some degree of ratzon but ratzono hatov is obviously not there. And simcha again is an indication when a person is oved b'simcha so that reflects that clearly there's a ratzon hatov that a person wants to be doing it. So what does that mean halacha l'maaseh? What does it mean halacha l'maaseh? A person realizes okay Baruch Hashem I davened a little bit, I learned a little bit, do a chesed here and there, do a mitzvah here and there, but I don't necessarily feel that simcha. Again he hears the Rambam's words at the end of Hilchos Lulav echoing

השמחה שישמח האדם בעשיית המצוות ובאהבת הקל שצוה בהן עבודה גדולה היא וכל המונע עצמו משמחה זו ראוי להיפרע ממנו.

So what happens l'maaseh? Halacha l'maaseh a person but if a person doesn't feel it, so l'maaseh what do we do? So there's more than one answer to that question but just to discuss one very simple very simple elementary answer. We should take out a few minutes to think and to reflect about the z'chus that we have lilmod lishmor v'laasos the Torah Hakdosha. We have to take out a few minutes to be misbonen that we're all ahuvim l'Makom, ahavas olam. We have to be misbonen that אנו עמלים והם עמלים. We have to be misbonen in the z'chus, in the bracha that חיי עולם נטע בתוכנו. Obviously there's no chiddush in any of this, none of this, none of these are dvorim m'chudoshim for us. But the reason it's necessary to reflect in this is because of a very basic penetrating insight of the Gra. The Gra comments on the famous Gemara in Brachos where the Gemara in Brachos juxtaposes the two psukim of מצא אשה מצא טוב and מוצא אני מר ממות את האשה. Okay so obviously it depends on on who the isha is. One isha, an isha tzidkanis is going to is going to elicit is going to trigger the reaction of מצא אשה מצא טוב and the antithesis of that isha tzidkanis is going to elicit is going to trigger the reaction of מוצא אני מר ממות את האשה. So the Gra says but what about another disparity between the psukim? Why is the pasuk of isha and tov in the past tense of מצא אשה מצא טוב and the one of mar m'moves is motze ani is in the present tense? So the Gra says because human nature is that when we receive bracha okay so we we acknowledge it at the time but then we begin to take it for granted. It's in the past. The appreciation, the excitement is in the past. The isha is an isha tova so it's in the past tense מצא אשה מצא טוב. Okay so when you got engaged you were excited, maybe at his wedding it was exciting, during the week of Sheva Brachos but then he takes it for granted. מצא אשה מצא טוב. When we experience what we consider ra when we feel that something is missing something is lacking it's not okay so during so when he first realized the first phase after. When we have bracha, we take it for granted. Just to give a, I'll give you a trivial example which illustrates it. Imagine, it doesn't take too much imagination. Imagine a person, a person who again, shomer Torah umitzvos, learns a little bit, davens a little bit, shomer Torah umitzvos. Okay. Then he's going to the airport to catch a flight. Gets stuck in unbelievable traffic. Gevaldig. The trip takes twice as long, four times as long as it should. Pulls up to the airport, clearly too late to make the flight. It's only a few minutes before the time of departure, there's no way they're going to let him check in at this point. And then he finds, much to his delight, that the flight was running late. There was a connecting flight from somewhere else, so the flight was delayed an hour and he finds plenty of time for the flight. So the sense of excitement, the sense of happiness, the Baruch Hashem, the sense of gratitude is tremendous, right? So when he got up in the morning and said Modeh Ani, it's sort of a parve Modeh Ani. Went to shul, had the zchus to put on tefillin, had zchus to omied lifnei hamelech, then to sit down and learn a little bit after davening, that didn't excite him, it didn't elicit this reaction. But when he was going to catch... so שלום על מה כך what's the flight for? I don't know, maybe it's a business trip, maybe it's a ich veis a family get-together, not necessarily דברים העומדים ברומו של עולם. But that doesn't happen, that's not maaseh bechol yom. So the teva haadam, the teva haadam is we're nisragesh, we get excited and we appreciate it. But what we have, which may be infinitely, infinitely, not maybe, which is infinitely more meaningful and infinitely more valuable, so that's the gantze wort of מצא אשה מצא טוב, okay. One of the biggest nisyonos that we have is this nisayon to take things for granted, to take kedushas Yisroel for granted, to take mitzvos Talmud Torah for granted, tefillin, tefillah, take all these things for granted. You park your car at a meter, okay, shoyn, you see what time it is, you put in a quarter for half an hour, and then eichshehu you get detained. You come back, it's 10 minutes after the meter expired and you see there's one of the policemen around who tickets the cars and you get there a minute before he starts writing a ticket. Again, it's a gevaldigge simcha, mamash azza tremendous hisorerus. What a tremendous... 75 dollars mistama, 90 dollars, however much it is. So those things we're misoer and nisragesh. And mamash חיי עולם נטע בתוכנו doesn't... we don't have that hisragshus. So I don't think the answer is that we don't appreciate it, I don't think the answer is that we don't know which is really more meaningful, which is ultimately more meaningful. But again, but one we don't stop to think about, one we take for granted, and the other because it's new, so we don't take for granted. Yitachen that this is part of what Chazal have in mind when they say bechol yom. yihyu be'einecha kachadashim. Again, because teva ha-adam is that what's not new, what's not new, we tend to take for granted. I heard in the tape once, I forget which, I think it was quoting one of the sifrei Chassidus, I forget which one, Rav Schlesinger from Monsey quoted once that one of the, I forget who he was quoting, said 'Why is it that science sort of develops and discovers things incrementally? Why wasn't it that, why didn't Adam HaRishon have a cell phone plan and and an iPod? There wasn't all the shiurim on the malachim. How come all these things only happen bisslach? You have to wait, be so patient, and then you get all these... So what's pshat? So he said a gevaldik, a gevaldik pshat. He says HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants that we should be able again to be inspired by the chochmah in the briah. That we should be able to have a hispailus, an excitement over what's in the briah. But He knows that again that we have this weakness to take things for granted. So if everything would have been known from the outset, so who would be, like who's nispail from having a cell phone now? No one's nispail from having a cell phone now. Whenever they add a new feature to the cell phone and you can call your cousin who's on the moon on your cell phone, so then people are going to get excited. But the fact that you have a cell phone in your pocket, so that doesn't, that doesn't excite us anymore. We take it, we take it for granted. So HaKadosh Baruch Hu to sort of accommodate and and compensate, even if we'll succumb to this weakness, HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives us chadashos constantly that we should have an an endless source of inspiration. But clearly the beauty and the truth of this vort notwithstanding, clearly a person is not supposed to rely on that, but we're supposed to try to again בכל יום יהיו בעיניך כחדשים. I would assume that baalei madreiga, baalei avodah get to a level where they just feel it naturally, intuitively. But until one reaches that, that level, so it requires a hisbonenus. It requires again a few minutes for a person to count his brachos and to take stock and gain perspective on what's, you know, what's really important in life and what a person is blessed with. And that can only, can only inject a sense again of tremendous ratzon and a tremendous sense of simcha in our avodas Hashem.