Mesiras Nefesh

מאי שנא ראשונים דאתרחיש להו ניסא ומאי שנא אנן דלא מתרחיש לן ניסא? אי משום תנויי בשני דרב יהודה כולי תנויי בנזיקין הוה ואנן קמתנינן שיתא סדרי. ואילו רב יהודה כי הוה שלף חד מסאני אתי מיטרא ואנן קמצערנא נפשין ומצוח קצוחנא ולית דמשגח בן.

So why would the rishonim be zocheh to nissim and we're not zocheh when we're greater than they are in Torah?

אמר ליה קמאי הוו קמסרי נפשייהו אקדושת השם אנן לא מסרינן נפשין אקדושת השם.

Because the earlier doros were moser nefesh. They had the quality of mesiras nefesh, but we're not moser nefesh. It's an incredible gemara. The gemara is juxtaposing mesiras nefesh with Talmud Torah and at least in this tchum it's quite clear that the mesiras nefesh isn't coming in second place. Clearly a davar kadosh, a davar nisgav. Specifically I think the Rav zichrono livracha commented in one of his drashos. You have a few ma'amarei chazal such as the Rashi in Parshas Beshalach on ותקח מרים הנביאה אחות אהרן את התוף בידה. So she was achos Aharon, she wasn't she wasn't achos Moshe. So Rashi gives two pshatim. The second of the two pshatim that Rashi quotes is לפי שמסר נפשו עליה כשנצטרעה. Because Aharon HaKohen was moser nefesh, so therefore nikres al shemo. So she was achos Aharon, not achos Moshe. Chazal have a similar comment in מזמור שיר חנוכת הבית לדוד. What do you mean Chanukas HaBayis L'David? David HaMelech didn't build the Beis HaMikdash. But David HaMelech was moser nefesh. Moser nefesh to build the Beis HaMikdash, it's associated it's associated with David. So the Rav commented that the same way in devarim gashmiyum there are kinyanim: מטלטלין הגבהה משיכה מסירה, קרקע כסף שטר חזקה. So in devarim ruchniyum there's also a musag of kinyan, of kinyanim. And the way a person is koneh in devarim ruchniyum is through mesiras nefesh. Through mesiras nefesh. So let's try to understand a little bit what mesiras nefesh is, what mesiras nefesh entails. So clearly the most immediate and perhaps fundamental association, I guess what we would refer to as pshuto kemashmao, is literally to moser nefesh, to give one's life. In the case of the gimel aveiros or any other situation where the halacha says that a person is chayav to be moser nefesh, to die al kiddush Hashem. That's an occasion and that constitutes mesiras nefesh. But it's clear that Chazal understand more in the term mesiras nefesh than just again that ultimate self-sacrifice. Aharon HaKohen wasn't being moser nefesh in that sense for Miriam. David HaMelech wasn't being moser nefesh in that sense. This very gemara in Brachos with which we began. So when the Gemara wants to illustrate that the doros harishonim were

מוסר נפש על קידוש השם, כי הא דרב אדא בר אהבה חזייה לההיא כותייתא דהוות

levisha kavalta. Here on the side, it says that kavalta, quoting from the Aruch, is a beged adom שאין דרך בנות ישראל להתכסות בו שהוא פריצות umavi lidei aveira. The brightness of the color red attracts too much attention and because of that it's considered pritzus. So רב אדא בר אהבה saw a woman who he mistakenly thought was a Bas Yisrael wearing this red coat or some kind of outer garment. Kam karei mina. He ripped it off her. איגלאי מילתא דכותייתא היא and then he had to pay a fine of arba me'os zuz. So here too, whatever the mesirus nefesh is, lefi pshuto it wasn't a mesirus nefesh again in the sense of sacrificing one's life. So clearly Chazal include other things under this heading of mesirus nefesh. Rashi here in Brachos says, what's the hemshech? So the context is the previous Gemara, the previous sugya, which concluded right before the Gemara quotes this conversation between Rav Papa and Abaye. So the previous sugya was the sugya of המוציא כלאיים בבגדו בשוק, poshet afilu bashuk. If a person discovers that he's wearing kilayim d'Oraisa bashuk, so even though it's going to be a terrible bizayon, even though it's going to involve a sacrifice of kevod habriyos, אין חכמה ואין תבונה ואין עצה נגד השם, he has to be poshet afilu bashuk. So Rashi says that the flow of the Gemara is

והאי מילתא נקט הכא משום דהאי מילתא דרב פפא ואביי האי מילתא נקט הכא משום דמעיקרא היו מוסר נפשם על קדושת השם ועד השתא איירי נמי במי שמבזה עצמו על קדושת השם

lifshot kilayim bashuk. So Rashi here gives us another definition of being מוסר נפש על קדושת השם. A person's willing to mivazei atzmo. A person's willing to suffer and endure bizyonos l'maan Hashem. I think it's the Sifsei Chaim who elaborates this point and says that the need or the feeling or the instinct that we have for basic dignity is so, runs so deep and is so, so deeply embedded in our nefesh that to forego that, to sacrifice that, the most basic kvod atzmi is a form, is an expression of mesirus nefesh. I don't know whether he juxtaposes, but mistama if he doesn't explicitly, he has in mind that the same idea certainly underlies the המלבין פני חברו ברבים כאילו שופך דמים, that same identification of this again, point in the nefesh, the need again to maintain a basic dignity. And when a person is willing to, it wasn't that in Rav Adda's day it was all the more, it was so much more acceptable to do what he did than we imagine it to be, which isn't, you learn a Gemara like this, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's a long way from here to halacha l'maaseh. You have to go via some poskim before you get to halacha l'maaseh. But it's not the case that in Rav Adda's day it was totally, a totally acceptable, socially acceptable and politically acceptable thing to do. It was a big bizayon, mamash a big bizayon. And he was מבזה עצמו על קידוש השם. So this is not what we're focusing on for our few minutes tonight, but there is a gevaldige mussar haskel that the fact that there's an equation between a person's willingness l'hisbazos, to be מבזה עצמו על קידוש השם and mesirus nefesh, that that is a form of mesirus nefesh, is an unbelievable mussar haskel, a mussar haskel nora in terms of the zehirus which we have to have in the kovid of other people. It's incredible. Again, when a person is ready, is willing to be misbazeh, to be misbazeh whether in the case of מוציא כלאים בבגדו בשוק in the case of Ada bar Ahava to invite derision and to invite mockery, when a person is willing to do that, that's considered mesirus nefesh because he's sacrificing his kovid atzmi, so the implications are clear in how careful we have to be not to encroach upon someone else's kovid atzmi in our bein adam l'chaveiro. But even this expanded or additional definition of mesirus nefesh, clearly we haven't exhausted what Chazal understand by the term mesirus nefesh, we still haven't accounted for what Aharon Hakohen's mesirus nefesh was, what Dovid Hamelech's mesirus nefesh was. So l'kora the key, Avraham Avinu when he's looking to bury Sarah Imeinu, so he turns to the Bnei Ches and says אם יש את נפשכם לקבור מתי מלפני. So what does im yesh nafshichem mean? So Onkelos already says and the meforshim b'ikvosav say, if you want, right, if yesh ra'ava, is ra'ava b'nafshichon, im birtzonchem, if you really mean it, if you really, really mean it, right they say, 'Oh, do whatever you want, נשיא אלקים אתה בתוכנו'. So Avraham Avinu says im yesh nafshichem, if you really, really want it. So nefesh then is used in the sense of a deep, pure, sincere ratzon, a willingness, a desire, that's also denoted by the term nefesh. So if you plug that understanding of nefesh into mesirus nefesh, it means that a person is moser his ratzon. That's what it means. Mesirus nefesh in the sense of being moser his ratzon. Now that in itself divides into two. It can mean either or both of two things. Mesirus nefesh can mean again to be moser one's ratzon, moser in the sense of sacrificing, in the sense of if a person has a certain taiva, person has a certain desire, not a taiva which is מקורה בסטרא דימינא, not a taiva which represents a she'ifa shel kedusha, but from somewhere else. For a person to overcome that yetzer, for a person to be misgaber on that yetzer is an act of mesirus nefesh. And for a person to be misgaber on that yetzer means that he's going to be koneh something in the area of middos, something in the area of Torah because again as the Rav points out. That shviras hataivah can be the ba'alei mussar all quote I think from Rabbeinu Yona I think vehahanhaga that when a person sits down to eat he puts on his plate as much as he needs to be full but doesn't eat it all and leaves over a little bit. So he walks away not the the tank's not not not not quite full. Doesn't walk around doesn't walk away with the tank empty then he yechalosh during seder. But he walks away with the tank not quite full. Why? Because there's a shviras hataivah there. That's an act of mesiras nefesh. If there's a sports event on TV some evening that there's a yeitzer hara to watch instead of doing more worthwhile things with one's time and the person is misgaber on that yeitzer, that's also mesiras nefesh. And the person goes precisely because it's it's harder for him to spend those two three hours in the beis medrash than it would have been otherwise so there's an aspect of mesiras nefesh there which translates into a kinyan, achuzo, Chanukas Habayis L'Dovid which translates into a kinyan that otherwise he wouldn't have the opportunity to make. If a person finds himself in a situation where there's a natural desire to get angry to responsively lash out to respond to an insult to a provocation if a person feels the natural desire to try to have the last word and in all these cases he's בלום פיו בשעת מריבה person is misgaber on that yeitzer that's also an act of mesiras nefesh im yesh nafshchem there was a ratzon there a very normal and natural ratzon to get angry to answer the person put the person in place tell the person what what he or she probably deserves to hear to have the last word that yitachen one is entitled to have. A person's misgaber on that yeitzer on that ratzon so im yesh nafshchem that's that's a mesiras nefesh and a mesiras nefesh is a kinyan. If only so much of life passes us by because we don't recognize opportunities. L'mashal a tourist is coming to comes to the United States. Schoin he doesn't know he didn't he didn't buy the 2009 edition of whatever the tourbook is USA in four days or whatever whatever it's called. So he doesn't doesn't really know what the what the sights are what he's supposed he's supposed to see. Schoin. So he's in he's in Washington DC. Okay schoin. So he sees there's a house and it's painted white he's not especially interested in architecture schoin so shpan l'halach and he he skips that doesn't look okay goes goes elsewhere. Then he comes back to comes back to Europe wherever it was. Nu did you did you see the President's house? Did you did you see the White House? Why if I'd known that was the White House I would have I would have gone to look. You go you go touring so you have to know what there is to see. If a person isn't sensitized to what the sights are so a person can't make the most of his of his touring. So much of life we miss. Well I would've, I would've gone to look. You go, you go touring, so you have to know what there is to see. If a person isn't sensitized to what the sights are, so a person can't make the most of his, of his touring. So so much of life we miss out on because we don't recognize, we don't know what the sights are, we don't recognize opportunities. Every time a person has a ניסיון, again, whatever, any of the examples we gave or any of the countless examples that each one of us knows when and sees when looking in the mirror, so it's an opportunity to be קונה חלק בתורה by, again, by being מוסר נפש, by being מוסר רצון instead of doing something else which I want to do but don't really need or have to do. There's some things that we do need and have to do, okay, we need and have to and should be doing them, we should be doing them. But there are things we don't need to do, we don't have to do and therefore we're not not necessarily should be doing, and I learn instead. So again, that ניסיון, it's not just we see it if we recognize it, sometimes we don't even recognize it as such and just give in to it. And other times if we recognize it, it's an אונס, it's a burden. No, it's an opportunity to be קונה קניין because a קניין is created through מסירות נפש. If I didn't have this רצון, so then that I wouldn't be, this wouldn't be an opportunity necessarily now to be קונה קניין. It's something that we need to try to remember and try to cultivate, again, in all areas. In תיקון המידות, in שבירת התאוות, all מסירות נפש in the sense, again, of being מוסר our רצון, in the sense of sacrificing our רצון, in the sense of the משנה in פרקי אבות of בטל רצונך מפני רצונו. But מסירות נפש, again, with נפש representing רצון, doesn't just mean to sacrifice, but also means to exercise and to devote and to channel our רצון and to give it, to surrender it in that sense. To take our רצון, אהרן הכהן took his, was so totally caught up in his sister's plight and in his sister's distress. That's also a מסירות נפש. Again, not just, not just מסירות נפש in the sense of ביטול, in the sense of sacrificing the רצון, in the sense of שבירת התאווה, but in the sense of taking this capacity for רצון with which הקדוש ברוך הוא endowed us and channeling that רצון and being so wholly תרתי משמע involved and caught up and devoted and dedicated. The מסירות נפש of אהרן vis-a-vis מרים, of דוד המלך vis-a-vis בניין המקדש. To have this kind of מסירות נפש, a person has to live very deeply. Some of us, there are people who do live like that. יהא חלקנו עמהם. But some of us live very superficially. A person can feel concern, a person can be worried about another person, or a person can be מוסר נפש. How do we sort of tell, how do we how do we discern whether or not I'm feeling for the other person, I'm concerned for the other person, but lav davka to the point where it's mesirus nefesh, or whether I'm being moseir nefesh for the other person. So I think one test a person can look for is bezos nivchan. Does it linger with us? To give one example again, it's an example which can be multiplied many times over, in many different areas. Everyone was shaken, there was everyone was nizdazeia when hearing of the chayalim who were kidnapped, rachmana litzlan. So everyone, I don't think there's a Jew in the world who didn't feel. I don't believe there's a Jew in the world who didn't didn't feel. But for how many of us does it translate, let's say, into every Shmoneh Esrei? For how many of us does it translate for Gilad Shalit into every Shmoneh Esrei? So there are some for whom it does. And those people I think are people who, like the doros rishonim, are moseir nefesh. And then some of us, some of us need to work on that middah. We get reminded periodically, you hear a news item, you know, is his release included in Gaza negotiations, is it not? So it reminds us. But when a person is moseir nefesh, and please don't think that I'm, I'm not giving mussar to anyone else. I'm not in a position to. I'm thinking about when a person is moseir nefesh, it means that he feels and he wants something to the core of his being. Aharon, it wasn't, yeah, you see someone in pain so you feel bad. No. She wouldn't be achos Aharon because of that. Aharon felt it to the core of his being. To the core of his being there was a sense of empathy and identification with Miriam. If it goes to the core of one's being, so you can't forget that. It doesn't need a news item to renew our awareness or our consciousness. I don't know, it's very hard to know how it was in previous doros. Appearances notwithstanding, I don't remember that many doros. I can't tell you how it was in previous doros. But I think it's a big, big avodah in our dor. I think we live very superficially in many areas, but certainly this area is not an exception. The emes is that everything we've been talking about in terms of mesirus nefesh, again beginning with mesirus nefesh I guess in the first definition in the dictionary of halacha. of surrendering or channeling one's ratzon ultimately hakol echad in the following sense. What's the most basic basic ratzon that a person has? The most basic ratzon that a person has is the desire to live. The desire to live is tremendously powerful. It's the most powerful instinct which Hakadosh Baruch Hu implanted within within human nature is is the desire to live. A person can only be moser nefesh again in its most dramatic manifestation of giving his life if he's moser nefesh on the level of being moser ratzono. And that's our avoda to be moser ratzon. And if we try the ultimate goal im yirtzeh Hashem is that incrementally as a person is moser ratzon again it can be in sometimes it's more difficult to be moser ratzono moser nafsho again in those little bein adam lachaveiro situations because since it's not dramatic so our defenses down and it's easier again to again not to realize that this house painted white is a site it's easier to to miss that this is a challenge an invitation to be moser nefesh. But if we're incrementally moser nefesh shviras hataiva tikun hamida ignoring a distraction keeping us out of the beis medrash so incrementally one works towards the goal the ultimate goal that his own ratzon becomes fully and totally identified with ratzon Hashem.