Shaarei Teshuva, Shaar 1, Ikar 2 and 3

I apologize for the misleading information as to what time we would begin. I was unaware of the schedule change. Tonight maybe we will begin here in Mesillat Yesharim in the Sha'ar ha-Rishon midway through the Ikar ha-Sheni. Midway through the Ikar ha-Sheni, Rabbeinu Yonah says in terms of what the sequence is of the various components of Tshuva, see the line אחר איש המתיצב על דרך לא טוב תמיד. Before the less than fifty percent of the way through. אחר איש המתיצב על דרך לא טוב תמיד, a person who wasn't didn't simply stumble once where the Cheit represented within the context of his life something anomalous, an aberration, but rather Rachmana litzlan he's been על דרך לא טוב תמיד. Hagavar al chato דורך בכל יום ושונה ויוולט. There are Rachmana litzlan Chato'im which are embedded within his lifestyle, ושב במירוצתו גם פעם נבע, and the Cheit has been repeated time and time again. And what's more, בכל עת אוהב הרע Venichsaf la'avon Veyasem nocho panim. He's been focused on his goals, have involved the goals which involve Chato'im.

רוצה לומר התאוה והיצר וחפץ מגמתו אשר לא יבצר ממנו כל אשר יזם לעשות.

So for such a person where Tshuva again isn't simply a response to a Cheit which was anomalous within the context of his life but someone who is looking to totally revolutionize, totally overhaul the way he lives, ראשית תשובת האיש הזה here the initial steps of Tshuva, the initial components of Tshuva, לעזוב דרכו ומחשבתו הרעה. It doesn't begin with a Charata, it doesn't begin with we shouldn't expect, we shouldn't try to begin with a profound regret and remorse, but rather he should begin with La'azov darko on the practical level to cease and desist from the Cheit Machshavto hara'ah, but also from the thoughts, from the mental preoccupation and focus on Cheit. ולהסכים לקיים ולקבל עליו לבלתי יוסיף לחטוא. So initially the initial part of the Tshuva is future-oriented, to resolve and to try to implement that resolution not to repeat the Cheit. Acharei chein, only after a person has successfully taken those initial steps, then Acharei chein, subsequently יתחרט על עלילותיו הנפשטות. Then he can and should and will be Mischarit have this regret and remorse for his corrupt ways Veyashov el Hashem as it says and this is the sequence of Tshuva that Yeshayahu Hanavi describes,

יעזוב רשע דרכו ואיש און מחשבתיו וישוב אל ה' וירחמהו.

Hamashal baze, this is the Mashal Chazal give, מי שאוחז השרץ ובא לטבול ולהיטהר. He's holding one of the Sheratzim which is impure, he wants to Litbol, he wants to Lehitaher. So obviously what has to happen is

יניח השרץ תחלה ואחרי כן יטבול וייטהר. כל זמן שהשרץ בידו עוד טומאתו בו ואין הטבילה מועילה.

What's the Nimshal? And He says with Rabbeinu Yonah azivas machshavas hachait hi hashlochas hasheretz והחרטה על אשר חטא והוידוי והתפילה במקום הטבילה. So the nimshal to the hashlochas hasheretz is azivas machshavas hachait. The nimshal to the tevillah is the combination of charata, viduy, and tefillah. Why is machshavas hachait down here below the tevillah? Very important question. We're going to try to understand that a little bit. The emes is there's a profoundly insightful and important yesod here. The Rambam also when he talks about teshuva in perek beis halacha beis, u'ma hi hateshuva, Rambam also takes his cue from the navi. So the Rambam writes in beis beis u'ma hi hateshuva

הוא שיעזוב החוטא חטאו ויסירנו ממחשבתו ויגמור בלבו שלא יעשהו עוד שנאמר יעזוב רשע דרכו ואיש און מחשבותיו.

Despite the fact that it's actually a Gemara later towards the very end of the first perek in Kiddushin that the Gemara says that מחשבה רעה אין הקדוש ברוך הוא מצרפה למעשה. With the exception of avodah zarah a person is not held accountable and a person is not punished for machshavos ra'os. A person is accountable and Rachmana litzlan is ne'enash for a machshava ra that he implements, for a machshava ra that he acts on, again with the exception of avodah zarah. So despite the fact that the machshava itself is not assur, the Rambam, Rabbeinu Yonah, highlight the fact that the navi is telling us it may not be assur, a person may not be ne'enash for it, but it's the yesod hachait. To the degree that again if you just turn the page back depending on your edition maybe it's the same page, the ikar hasheini Rabbeinu Yonah entitles azivas hachait. So we would think azivas hachait is whatever chait is what we're talking about, the chait is gneiva, the chait is geizela, the chait is whatever it is and yet azivas hachait is only accomplished if there's azivas machshavas hachait. And the pshat l'chora is clear. Things don't happen in a vacuum. Certainly any pattern of behavior reflects a pattern of thought, a pattern of desire. Something that happens once can at least be partially, perhaps largely, attributable to momentary weakness. But Anytime that we recognize habitual behavior. Behavior that repeats itself. It doesn't happen in a vacuum. It emanates from somewhere. It's, I guess, the line which is most quoted from the Sefer HaChinuch is yesod of אחרי הפעולות נמשכים הלבבות. And obviously, obviously, that insight, that yesod of the Sefer HaChinuch is emes ve'yatziv. The Sefer HaChinuch also writes in Parshas Va'eschanan in the mitzvah of lo sechanem. לא תתן להם חן, not to gratuitously praise ovdei avoda zara and hold them up as exemplars of virtue. So what's the ta'amei ha'mitzvah of this? So the Sefer HaChinuch writes:

משרשי המצוה לפי שתחלת כל מעשה בני אדם היא קביעות המחשבה במעשה והעלאת הדברים על שפת הלשון.

If a person steals, a person embezzles, a person a person engages in insider trading. So where does that come from? It comes from a kevi'as ha'machshava on wealth and a desire for wealth. It comes from a kevi'as ha'machshava of when in Rome do as the Romans and everyone does it and therefore that's what it means to conduct business is promote for every advantage you can get and to and to use to use it to make the most of whatever whatever advantage whatever foot up one can get on the competition. It begins with

תחלת כל מעשה בני אדם היא קביעות המחשבה במעשה והעלאת הדברים על שפת הלשון.

It begins with thought, it progresses to speech and that preoccupation initially mental subsequently oral verbal preoccupation. אחר המחשבה והדיבור באת כל מלאכה. And that determines what a person is going to do. If a person wasn't lo'it achar ha'mamon, if he didn't have thoughts and dreams of wealth, he'd be much much much less likely to be nimshach when the sha'as ha'nisayon when the opportunity presents itself. Ve'al ken writes the Sefer HaChinuch:

ואם מנענו במחשבה ובדיבור ממצוא בעובדי עבודה זרה כל הוד וחן הננו נמנעים בכך מן ההתחבר עמהם ומלרדוף אחר אהבתם ומללמוד מהם מכל מעשיהם הרעים.

Obviously, obviously, this is no stirah to the more famous passage in the Sefer HaChinuch. There's a reciprocity in terms of influence. Obviously, obviously this is no stirah to the more famous passage in the Sefer Hachinuch. There's a reciprocity in terms of influence. What a person does influences the way he thinks, the way he feels, the way he speaks, but it's also true in the opposite direction. What a person thinks, what a person talks about influences and stimulates the action as well. There's no, it's not an either or proposition, that there's any, that there's any conflict or even tension between what the Sefer Hachinuch is saying. Patterns of behavior are linked to patterns of thought. Machshavas aveira technically formally is, is not part of the issur. הקדוש ברוך הוא אינו מצרפה למעשה but אף על פי כן we have to understand it's the שורש פורה ראש ולענה. It's, it's, it's the source, it's the root from which aveira grows. In context, this is one of the many, many very important fundamental interpretations suggested for the Gemara in Yoma daf kaf chet: הרהורי עבירה קשים מעבירה. And the question of what does that mean, הרהורי עבירה קשים מעבירה? So one, one pshat is, is what we're talking about now. That if a person does an aveira, again, which represents an aberration, which within the context of his life is something anomalous, okay, so an aveira is an aveira and it's, it's never anything to think about casually or parsimoniously, but to a degree it's, it's somewhat self-contained. But when a person is constantly entertains and engages his mind with hirhurei aveira, whatever the aveira in question is, it's the same yesod. So that's kasha because that's something which again hagam that it's on the level of hirhur which again, that's not punishable kesheleatzmo but that's the source of not just anomalous action, that would be the source of typical and habitual action in the person's life. One of the perennial painful vexing questions that that we confront, as we think it over, but unfortunately we don't all emulate Rav Salanter who begins, began preparing for Yom Kippur on Motza'ei Yom Hakippurim. Some of us, those of us who lag 11 months behind Rav Salanter, so one of the questions we begin confronting this time of year is why last year's teshuva, sincere though it was, doesn't seem to have endured and there's too much similarity between where we're holding this year and where we were holding last year. There isn't one single answer to, to that question, but one, one answer to that question or one element of an answer is whether or not last year's teshuva included a hasirenu mimachshavta. Or did we just sort of focus and target only on the, only on the practical level? I'm aware that I'm doing A, B, and C which are wrong, so I'm not going to do it. But there's a context, there's a... To change the chitzoniyus of one's actions, a person has to recognize the need to effect the pnimiyus of of the machshavos. תחילת כל מעשה בן אדם, nikvias hamachshava bama'aseh, vehe'oros hadvorim, ha'avaras hadvorim, he'oros hadvorim al sfos halashon. In explaining what Chazal have in mind with that moshal of tovel vesheretz beyado, Rabbeinu Yona says that the nimshal of the sheretz or the hashlachas hasheretz is the azivas machsheves hachet and the nimshal of the tvila is the charata viduy utfila. Rambam is mashma that in terms of what the nimshal to the tvila is that in this that he seems to diverge from this interpretation of Rabbeinu Yona in at least one important respect. Rambam Hilchos Teshuva פרק ב הלכה ג, again maybe just to get the context, in פרק ב הלכה ב the Rambam writes as follows: U'ma hi hateshuva?

הוא שיעזוב החוטא חטאו ויסירו ממחשבתו ויגמור בלבו שלא יעשהו עוד, שנאמר יעזוב רשע דרכו ואיש און מחשבתיו. וכן ינחם על שעבר, שנאמר כי אחרי שובי נחמתי ואחרי הודעי ספקתי על ירך.

Skipping now to Halacha Gimmel:

כל המתודה בדברים ולא גמר בלבו לעזוב הרי זה דומה לטובל ושרץ בידו שאין...

I'm sorry, just one last point from what we were talking about before. I'm not sure whether this is part of what Chazal and the Rishonim intended, whether it's תחילת כל מעשה בן אדם, but in terms of the klal the moshal of the tovel vesheretz beyado, so a sheretz is a source of tuma. Bema'aseh there is no issur per se to become tamei with the exception of tumas meis lekohanim. No issur to be tamei. If a person is tamei, so he can be nichshal in matzav issur. He can eat ma'aser sheni when he's tamei, he'll eat truma when he's tamei, he'll eat kodshim when he's tamei, he'll be nichnas lamikdash when he's tamei. Could be that the fact that the sheretz is the moshal for the machsheves hachet is the same thing. The machsheves hachet, again formally, technically, is innocent. אין הקדוש ברוך הוא מצרף מחשבה למעשה, but it's the yesod and the shoresh. Okay, now again vachazor to the nimshal here on the tvila. So the Rambam has in Bais Gimmel:

כל המתודה בדברים ולא גמר בלבו לעזוב הרי זה דומה לטובל ושרץ בידו שאין הטבילה מועלת עד שישליך השרץ. וכן הוא אומר מודה ועוזב ירוחם.

So clearly the analog to the tvila. Let's start that again, I think what I was about to say is not true. Let's start that again. Rabbeinu Yonah says that the analogue of the tevilah is the charata, vidui and tefillah. That the part of the teshuva is being mispalel to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Before re'ata, you don't really seem to have that in the Rambam, that that element of tefillah. Ela mai, if you go back to פרק א' הלכה א', so the Rambam writes as follows:

כל מצות שבתורה בין עשה בין לא תעשה אם עבר אדם על אחת מהן בין בזדון בין בשגגה שיעשה תשובה וישוב מחטאו חייב להתוודות לפני הקל ברוך הוא.

And then he quotes the posuk. Keitzad mitvadeh omeir אנא השם חטאתי עויתי פשעתי לפניך. So here, just to combine two haaros. You know, what does the word ana mean? Clearly where the Rambam gets, where the Rambam derived that the vidui on Yom Kippurim, as we know from the machzor, was with ana, right? אנא השם כפר נא לחטאים. So the Kohen Gadol said vidui belashon ana. What does the word ana mean? Emmes is where did the Kohen Gadol get it from? He got it from Moshe Rabbeinu, right?

אנא חטא העם הזה חטאה גדולה ויעשו להם אלהי זהב.

So Moshe Rabbeinu who's being misvadeh on behalf of Klall Yisrael is misvadeh belashon ana. What does it mean? So the Ibn Ezra there on that posuk writes that ana is lashon piyus. Ana is lashon piyus, a way of seeking to appease. Ha'ara number two, which the Rav has in Al HaTeshuvah, is the lashon. What's the Rambam's lashon? חייב להתוודות לפני הקל ברוך הוא. What does it mean lifnei HaKeil? Obviously everything a person does is in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So the pshat the Rav explains is of course that's true, but that sort of doesn't define the action. I guess when a person is sleeping, he's sleeping lifnei HaKeil. When a person is eating lunch, he's lifnei HaKeil, but that doesn't define what he's doing, eating lunch or sleeping. It doesn't even define what he's doing when he's mikayem mitzvos. When a person davens, so then the lifnei HaKeil is not just the defining existential reality, but it's also defines his action. He's standing before Hakadosh Baruch Hu and he's addressing himself to Hakadosh Baruch Hu bitfillah. And what the Rav said is, so you see that the Rambam depicts vidui in those same lashonot that depict that capture what the essence of tefillah is. And itachen that that combination of vidui being lifnei HaKeil, the same way tefillah is lifnei HaKeil, and the lashon ana... is that albeit somewhat beremez, bema'aseh you do have a as it were encoded in in the Rambam's nusach of viduy you have tefillah as well. The opening word, the anna, which is a lashon pius, so it means it's not just a a declaration and acknowledgment of the of chet but but one is addressing oneself to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And the anna is is where the the tefillah is is expressed. והיה כי יבואו יסורים ומכאובים על הרשע. When suffering, when pain, suffering and pain can be physical but it can can be obviously on on other levels of the human experience as well. When suffering, when pain besets a person, so the reaction is יוסר בתפילה וישוב ממחשבתו הרעה שחשב. He has to change his life's focus, his life's orientation, what it is he thinks about, what it is he aspires to, what it is he he desires, and then act on that, vayachvosh me'avado miyado. And then he has to practically implement that as well. והמשל בזה לעגל אשר יכהו במלמד הבקר והחמד לומר. The role of yissurim is the same way if you're your plowing with with a calf and and the calf isn't going isn't going isn't going straight, so you need to hit it to to get it to so that the furrows it's making in the field will be mechuvonim, will be straight the way they need to be,

כן המצער על דרך לא טוב יקח המוסר תחילה לעזוב דרכי מוות וללכת דרך ישר.

Okay, that's the ikar hasheni. The ikar hashlishi says Rabbeinu Yonah is hayagon. I'm not sure how yagon translates, sorrow, distress, maybe a a combination, profound sorrow and distress. ישתונן כליותיו ויחשוב כמה רבה רעה מי שהמרה יוצרו. A person should think of the magnitude of what chet represents, a person who rebels against his creator. Vayagdil yagon bilvavo, and that that profound sorrow and distress should should be amplified in his mind, in his heart. Vesa'ar mitcholel bera'ayonov, a storm should should grip and and play itself out in in his thinking. Veye'anech bemrirus lev. A person should give a krechtz with a sense of merirus, a bitterness.

כי ייתכן שיתחרט ויירע בעיניו על חטאתו שחטא ולא השלים חוקו בזה.

A person can have regret, but the regret is is too superficial. כי גם הפסד דינר או איסור קל שבבני אדם, if a person has a hole in his pocket and because of that he loses a five dollar bill, so we have charata over that also. אכן אם אבד עושרו בעניין רע ויצא נקי Rachmana litzlan because of a bad investment he's totally wiped out financially Rachmana litzlan. נפשו תאבל ותכבד על נפשו. Obviously there's a whole spectrum in terms of regret and remorse. There are different levels of intensity.

וכן על צרות רבות ורבות ככאב נצח ויגון בלבבו. ויוסיף מהם הראוי שיצטער ויאנח מי שהמרה השם יתברך והשחית והתעיב עלילה לפניו.

Whatever level, whatever degree of sorrow and distress some mundane misfortune can elicit, so that degree of distress and sorrow should obviously be much greater when the trigger is rebelliousness against Hakadosh Baruch Hu. והשחית והתעיב עלילה לפניו and the person corrupted and made his ways abominable before Hakadosh Baruch Hu. ולא זכר יוצרו אשר בראו יש מאין. And the person totally forgot his Creator who created him from nothing. B'chesed aso imo. Hakadosh Baruch Hu does chesed with us. וידו תסמכהו בכל עת. Hakadosh Baruch Hu's hand kavyachol is guiding us at every moment. ונוצר נפשו בכל רגע. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu guards and preserves our soul at every moment. ואיך מלאו לבו להכעיס לפניו. How could it be that a person rebels against Hakadosh Baruch Hu kavyachol to anger Him? ואיך תכמה ראות עיני החוטא מהשכיל בדבר. How could it be that a person was so blinded and so clueless to act as he did? Here, what needs to be understood is something very very yesodis that Rabbeinu Yonah says. Rabbeinu Yonah in this ikkar k'midumah he doesn't even hint that this profound sorrow and distress is occasioned because of a fear of what the oinesh, Rachmana litzlan, would be for his cheit. Rabbeinu Yonah is talking about something more fundamental. משל למה הדבר דומה. Imagine you have someone who's unemployed. And then someone, maybe a friend maybe not a friend, someone does him an incredible tova and gives him a job. Gives him a job working in a bank. And he keeps him employed there year after year, decade after decade. V'yehi hayom it's revealed that he's been embezzling, this employee has been embezzling from his boss from the bank for the past thirty years. So above and beyond and really before even thinking, reflecting on what jail time he may have to face for embezzlement, but he's just a traitor. The sorrow and distress one doesn't need to contemplate the consequences, the price to be paid, the penalty to be endured for the embezzlement, but really that sense of yagon, that sense of sorrow and distress should just come from the recognition of how traitorous his behavior was. Ashamnu bagadnu bagadnu. And this in turn feeds into maybe an even more fundamental underlying idea which it's vital that we try to understand and then internalize. We take our lives as a given, as a fact. And then we think of the goal of Torah, mitzvos, avodas Hashem as something to be integrated into our lives. And the fact that we have such an orientation is very understandable because as infants, as toddlers, as young children, we have a sense of self, a sense of being alive, and we're not bnei de'ah to really understand ultimate things. So it's natural that a person has that hargashah. My life is a given. Okay, so now I need to find time for learning and I need to be meticulous in shmiras hamitzvos. But that's a fundamental, fundamental error. Life is not a given. Life is not ours. And that's what Rabbeinu Yonah is ולו זכר יוצרו שבראו יש מאין. Torah, mitzvos, avodas Hashem, Hakadosh Baruch Hu in our lives is not something to be introduced, it's not something, it's not something there's my life which sort of conceptually comes first and now I'm integrating into my life. It's like it's not that I have this job in the bank and, okay, so now let me integrate into that the value of being a loyal employee. No, he took me off the streets and he gave me a job. The loyalty is not something to be superimposed, not something to be integrated into how I conduct myself in the workplace. No, that's the essence of it. It's not my job. I had no claim on it. I'm here because of the chesed that the bank manager is doing with me. It's not my job. It's his job to fill. It's beyado to fire people. The loyalty is not something added, superimposed, integrated. It's the essence of being there because it's not mine. And what Rabbeinu Yonah is saying is chet happens because of the lack of, of this outlook, the lack of this perspective. There's me, there's my life. Okay, so then there's all kinds of conflicts between what I want to do with my life and what the Torah tells me to do with my life, and there's a tug of war, there's a struggle and, okay, sometimes one side wins, sometimes the other side prevails.

ויוסיף מהמה ראש יצטדק ויאנח מי שהמרה השם יתברך והיטיב והסב עליו לפנים ולו זכר יוצרו שבראו יש מאין. ולו זכר יוצרו שבראו יש מאין.

That's the tziyur that a person has an agenda. The bank employee has his own agenda, right? He has no claim, he has no foothold, he has no entitlement to the job that he has.

ולו זכר יוצרו שבראו יש מאין וחסד עשה עמו וידו תנחהו בכל עת ונוצר נפשו בכל רגע.

That's what we mean on Rosh Hashanah in the davening, this hargashah that we're trying to arouse within ourselves and then and. The way the Netziv signs his letters, if you see, if you ever see a letter from the Netziv, the Netziv signs his letters Ha-omos Ba-avoda. And so omos means to be laden, to be laden, to be laden ba-avoda. That was the, that was the mahut. It wasn't something added, integrated, for which time and space what was a point. That was his life. Ha-omos Ba-avoda. That's what, that's the difference between what yogea reflects, the intensity of the, the experience of feeling yogea, which isn't necessarily present in the, in the avoda.