The Level of a Baal Teshuva vs a Perfect Tzaddik

לפי שהיו הצדיקים שני מינים האחד הניצל מן החטא והאשם.

So there's one type of tzadik who is never chotei. vehasheni, the second class of tzadikim, hashav min hachet, who have been nichshal bachait but did teshuva. והיו רוב המון הצדיקים בעלי תשובה. The overwhelming majority of tzadikim belong to that second class. So therefore hist'chil hameshoreir ve'amar, that's when Dovid Hamelech speaks of the tzadikim, he begins with that class: אשרי נשוי פשע כסוי חטאה. ve'acharkach, and only afterwards because this is so uncommon, זכר הכת השנית הניצלת מן החטא, even though ואם היא קודמת במעלה. So even though in terms of the virtuousness, the class of tzadikim who have never been chotei... Let me see how Chovos Halevavos should be translated one sec. And the phrase kodemes bema'alah means that they're greater. And kodemes bema'alah meaning if you're going to enumerate from beginning with the highest madreiga, you would begin with the tzadikim who have never been nichshal at all. So why does Dovid Hamelech do the opposite way? Because he's organizing things according to frequency, according to what one encounters more commonly. Now later here in Sha'ar Hateshuva, if you jump ahead to Perek Ches for a moment, Chovos Halevavos poses the question in Perek Ches: אבל אם ישתווה השב עם הצדיק. Does the baal teshuva equal the tzadik? And tzadik here again clearly contextually means

צדיק שלא חטא מימיו. אמר כי יש מן השבים שישתווה אחר התשובה עם הצדיק אשר לא חטא.

Okay, so it's explicit.

ומהם מי שיש לו יתרון על הצדיק ומהם מי שיש לצדיק יתרון עליו אף על פי ששב. וביאור החלק הראשון הוא שיהיה החטא בקיצורו במצות עשה שאין בו כרת כציצית וכלולב וסוכה והדומה לזה. וכאשר ישב המקצר בהם בלבו ובלשונו וישתדל לעשות אותם ולא ישנה קיצורו בהם ימחול לו הבורא וישתווה עם הצדיק שלא קיצר מהם.

Skipping.

והחלק השני והוא שיש לו בו יתרון השב על הצדיק. ביאור זה שיהיה השב חטא חטא קטן ממצות לא תעשה שאין בו כרת. ואחר כך שב ממנו תשובה שלמה בכל תנאיה. ושם עוונו לעומתו ונוכח פניו חטאתי נגדי תמיד. ומבקש תמיד המחילה עליו ונכנע.

miboshto me'haBorei ונכנס בלבו המורא מענשו venishbar nafsho

והוא נכנע ושפל לפני אלהים תמיד והיה חטאו להכניעתו ולהשתדלותו לפרוע חובות הבורא לא יגבה במאומה ממעשיו הטובים

velo yerav be'einav velo yitpa'er bahem

וישמר בשארית ימיו מן המכשול חוטא זהו שיש לו יתרון על הצדיק שלא חטא החטא ההוא ודומה לו.

The the sense of hachna'ah that that the ba'al teshuvah has will run even deeper than the sense of hachna'ah of of of a tzaddik me'neurav. Uv'shuv kaze, skipping a paragraph,

אמרו רבותינו זכרונם לברכה במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד.

So why does why here in the psicha to Chovot HaLevavot just without any qualification says that the tzaddik gamur, again, tzaddik gamur in the sense of shelo chata miyamav is kodem be'ma'alah? And yet here in perek chet he says it's it's much more nuanced than that. That's one question. Another question which is not not prompted by Chovot HaLevavot, it it clearly is already prompted by the ma'amar Chazal, how can it be? How can it be at the end of the day that there's an attainment which is only possible al yedei cheit? How can it be that the highest madreigah, the path to the highest madreigah passes through cheit? It can't be. But but what do you do with that ma'amar? What does Rabbi Abahu mean when he says במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד? If a person wants to get to the pinnacle, has to make sure to eat a shtikel chazir once in their life? It can't be, it can't be, it can't be. So so what does it mean? What what does the ma'amar mean? You think take a look in the Rambam in perek zayin of Hilchot Teshuvah, so lechora both of these problems, both of the problem we have sort of minei u'vei in Chovot HaLevavot from the psicha to perek chet as well as how to understand the ma'amar Chazal. Perek zayin halacha dalet. Perek zayin halacha dalet.

אל ידמה בעל תשובה שהוא מרוחק ממעלת הצדיקים מפני העוונות והחטאות שעשה.

He shouldn't he shouldn't think that.

אין הדבר כן אלא אהוב ונחמד הוא לפני הבורא וכאילו לא חטא מעולם ולא עוד אלא ששכרו הרבה שהרי טעם טעם החטא ופירש ממנו וכבש יצרו. אמרו חכמים מקום שבעלי תשובה עומדין בו אין צדיקים גמורין יכולין לעמוד בו. כלומר מעלתן גדולה ממעלת אלו שלא חטאו מעולם מפני שהן כובשין יצרן יתר מהן.

So on the one hand at the end of the halacha, the Rambam quotes Rabbi Abahu's ma'amar, again with all of its difficulty. But in the beginning of the halacha when the Rambam is reassuring the ba'al teshuvah of the madreigah he's on, so the Rambam says the ba'al teshuvah should know that teshuvah conquers everything and after the teshuvah it's ke'ilu lo chata. So clearly the gold standard here is shelo chata. And the way to express כמה גדול כוחה של התשובה is to say that it's ke'ilu lo chata. But if, in light of Rebbi Abahu, it's more than that. So just how do you read the reisha and seifa? How do you integrate the reisha and seifa here in the halakha? So maybe as follows. I don't know. The kasha again, the kasha just in Rebbi Abahu is an eisen kasha, and again the Rambam just minei u'vei, how do the reisha and seifa hang together? The reisha clearly acknowledges what our instinct is, that the standard is someone she'lo chata me'olam, and the Rambam takeh says, yeah, teshuva is so great that it can carry the person to ke'ilu lo chata. Now he turns around and says, no, but the person, the ba'al teshuva, is even greater. How does it hang together? So maybe as follows. I'd say משל למה הדבר דומה. You have someone, this company with many employees. And some of the employees, they're supposed to put in nine-hour workdays, eight to five, they're supposed to punch in, punch out, not supposed to battel during the time. And there were some employees who were caught having doctored their timesheet. You know, it said that they were there eight to five, but in reality they rolled in at nine-thirty and some days they didn't come at all, and maybe a little bit they also embezzled some money over the years. And then they're either they were caught, called on the carpet, or maybe had pangs of conscience. L'umasam, there are other faithful employees who every day, they've been in the company twenty, thirty, forty years, every day takeh they're there at eight, they punch in at eight, and they're there till five bein hasedarim and put in sixty minutes to an hour. So this first group who in the past had cheated, because they feel so guilty and because they recognize their wrong, they begin coming in every day at seven o'clock and they work with an intensity which surpasses that of every other employee and often they stay beyond five. They don't ask for any, they're not asking for overtime, they don't put in for overtime, they just say, you know, we're here for the eight to five day, but l'ma'aseh, what they're actually doing is they're often there from seven-thirty to six and with an intensity that surpasses that which is expected. So when they come to the boss, the boss tells them that you should know that in light of the prodigious effort that you make now, I don't hold against you what you did all those other years. Because right now, the fact that the way you're working surpasses that of everyone else, so that compensates for what happened and as far as I'm concerned, it's as if you had never cheated in terms of your timesheet, it's as if you had never embezzled. Why? Because now the level on which you're working is... is unequalled. The best employees we have here, the best, most faithful employees we have here, who have never taken a minute of company time for themselves don't match the efforts you're making. And in light of that, it's not that you're better than they are in terms of what our relationship is, but in light of that, you're on equal footing with them. So now let's read the Rambam here.

אל ידמה בעל תשובה שהוא מרוחק ממעלת הצדיקים מפני העוונות והחטאים שעשה.

You would think, okay, so he claps al cheit, but lema'aseh, for 10 years he was cheating. He wasn't putting in the eight-to-five day that he was supposed to put in. So you would think that in the boss's estimation, in terms of what their current relationship, what the current connection is with the boss, what the boss's feelings for them are, even if he's forgiven them, but they're certainly going to rank second to the ones who were, you know, impeccable from day one in the company.

אל ידמה בעל תשובה שהוא מרוחק ממעלת הצדיקים מפני העוונות והחטאים שעשה. אין הדבר כן, אלא אהוב ונחמד הוא לפני הבורא כאילו לא חטא מעולם.

If you're asking about what the mida of hiskarvus laHashem is, so the ultimate in terms of a mida of hiskarvus laHashem is shelo chata miyamav. עוונותיכם היו מבדילים ביניכם לביני. Avonos distance a person, Rachmana litzlan, from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The ones who are closest to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the ones who represent the ultimate in terms of מידת התקרבות להקדוש ברוך הוא, shelo chata miyamav. So the baal teshuva should know that in terms of what his ranking is, what his standing is before Hakadosh Baruch Hu, it's ke'ilu lo chata. Because again, that is the ultimate. Because again, avonos are shenemar, the Rambam in Halacha Zayin quotes the pasuk. שנאמר עוונותיכם היו מבדילים ביניכם לבין אלוהיכם. So he should know all that all that has been erased. That's skip the line of ולא עוד אלא ששכרו הרבה for now. Amru chachamim,

מקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים בו אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד בו. כלומר מעלתן גדולה ממעלת אלו שלא חטאו מעולם מפני שהן כובשים יצרם יתר מהן.

So that's the nimshal to the coming in at 7:30. The coming in at 7:30 means post-cheit, post-cheit, so then the baal teshuva is making a more strenuous effort, has to make a more strenuous effort that he shouldn't regress, that he shouldn't be chozer venichshal. And if you sort of take a snapshot just right now, who's exerting himself more, who needs to exert himself more, who is exerting himself more in avodas Hashem, the answer is the baal teshuva is. And that's what it means, במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד. They're dealing with challenges that the tzadikim gemurim are not. But if you're asking in terms of מידת התקרבות להקדוש ברוך הוא, so aderaba, the way you express what the incredible koach of teshuva is, is to say it restores a person כאילו לא חטא מעולם. What does the middle line mean ve'lo od in Halacha Daled before we try to come back to Hilchos Teshuvah? So when Rabi Abahu is that's what Rabi Abahu is talking about, Rabi Abahu is not talking about when he says במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד, he doesn't mean in terms of being אהוב ונחמד לפני הקדוש ברוך הוא. He doesn't mean in terms of מידת התקרבות להקדוש ברוך הוא. He means in terms of take a snapshot right now of the avodas Hashem, so what you'll see in the baal teshuva is someone. But how do you translate this line of nechmad hu lifnei? No, no, velo od and here in the middle of halacha daled.

ולא עוד אלא ששכרו הרבה שהרי טעם חטא ופרש ממנו וכבש יצרו.

What does that mean? How do you translate that? What's the if you had to translate that into English? French if you prefer, but all things being equal let's go with an English translation. Their schar is going to be greater because they are exerting themselves more because they know what it means to kind of experience cheit and run away from that. So their avodas Hashem will just be just be better and this is the schar is keneget that because they're putting in so much work. So I looked in a translation and that's what the translation says. Translation says exactly what you're saying. That velo od, meaning the velo od means that not only are they כאילו לא חטאו מעולם, but adeiraba, they're getting more schar. Right? And that harbe here even though the Rambam doesn't say it fully, even though he doesn't spell it out fully, means that the schar is not great, but greater. Right? So harbe translates as greater, not great. But the problem with that is then veiter it means that there's a degree of schar that the highest degree of schar, the path goes through aveira. And it's just not nitan lehei'amer. It cannot be. It cannot be. But what else does it mean? How else do you what else is this line saying? What's the velo od? What's the velo od? They get ongoing schar for not engaging with the aveira. But and the which the tzaddik gamur doesn't get? They don't have that same I guess ta'ava to regress. But which the tzaddik gamur doesn't get? Obviously. So it's the same problem. Maybe we can think that their schar is connected to the stain removal. A tzaddik gamur doesn't have a stain, so it doesn't give them an active positive. So the Rambam's saying velo od, not only do they get their stain removed but they actually tough- get a benefit. Not that they're better, we're not talking who's better and worse klapei shamaya or Kadosh Baruch Hu, chas veshalom. But so what does scharo harbe mean? That they get a lot of schar for the teshuvah process. They don't just remove stains but the etzem teshuvah process gives them schar. Okay, so I think so very much along those lines. Where do you have this phrase? What does the scharo harbe. Did the Rambam coin that phrase? Where does it come from? Avram Avinu. What's the pasuk say? Avram Avinu. Beris Milah. Right before Beris Milah, no? I think. Maybe I'm wrong. Al tira Avram no schar-cha harbe me'od. Is that in the pasuk towards the end of Lech Lecha? Is it after the after the four kings, five kings and then Avram Avinu... no you have the pasuk al tira Avram schar-cha harbe me'od? Anochi magen lach, schar-cha harbe me'od. Right. So clearly schar-cha harbe me'od there doesn't mean greater, it means great. It means very great. So yitachen the pshat is like this. Let's come here in Chovos HaLevavos. Again, this is not halacha lema'aseh. Right, the pshat in the Rambam stands even if this isn't correct in Chovos HaLevavos, but it could be it's right here also. The previous paragraph from the one we read before, וכיון שהתברר מציאות הקיצור במעשה האדם. You see that rabbosai? וכיון שהתברר מציאות הקיצור במעשה האדם. You have it? היה מחסדו הבורא אותו so Hakadosh Baruch Hu's chanina expresses itself שנתן לו יכולת לתקן טעותו ולהשיב אבידת עבודתו. So what are those two phrases? Teshuvah is a... So what are those two phases? That it's teshuva is a double opportunity here. It's A: l'sakein toesov, and B: it's l'hashiv aveidat avodato. So I'm not sure, but maybe maybe what the Chovos Halvovos means is like this. Let's say a person is doing teshuva, he didn't put on tefillin, he missed z'man Krias Shema, he's doing teshuva for that. So it's one thing to do teshuva and to say that the cheit in terms of the liability is forgiven, to say the cheit in terms of the stain that it imposed upon the person's neshama is cleansed. But l'maiseh, l'maiseh he's still missing what he would have gained by putting on tefillin. I mean, okay, so he's not going to be punished for not having put on tefillin, for having missed z'man Krias Shema. The kesem on his neshama has been cleansed, but l'maiseh he's missing the advantage of having put on tefillin of קדושת התפילין קדושתן גדולה. Says Rabbeinu Bechaye, says Chovos Halvovos no, teshuva even of that teshuva mashlemnah. It's not only l'sakein toesov, it's also l'hashiv aveidat avodato. That as a result of teshuva, not only does he erase the deficit of cheit, but he's able to capture the advantage which is associated with having done the mitzvah. Maybe that's what those two phrases mean, I'm not sure, but maybe that's what they mean: לתקן טעותו ולהשיב אבידת עבודתו. That's the avodah, because even after he's been mesakein his toes, there's still an avodah here. He missed out on the z'chus of having lain Krias Shema, he missed out on the z'chus of hanachas tefillin. Says the Rambam:

אל ידמה בעל תשובה שהוא מרוחק ממעלת הצדיקים מפני העוונות והחטאים שעשה אין הדבר כן אלא אהוב ונחמד הוא לפני הא-ל כאילו לא חטא מעולם.

He just כאילו לא חטא מעולם. No, you don't have a rap sheet. The Rambam's telling us you don't have a rap sheet. It doesn't say a person does teshuva, it doesn't say anymore on the rap sheet that he missed z'man Krias Shema, doesn't say he did this, doesn't say he did that. No, but I'm still you know after 120 when people get in line for schar, so everyone else who put on tefillin yesterday is going to be ahead of me and I'm going to be at the... I'm going to be behind them, I'm not even going to be in the line, I'm behind them, I'm not going to be in the line, I'm not going to be in the line for the... No, ולא עוד אלא ששכרו הרבה. His schar is very great. It won't have been diminished. Why? Because the fact that he now shows up at 7:30 every morning and stays until 6 o'clock, so that offsets all the times that he showed up at 9:30 and left at 3:30. And the end is schoro harbeh me'od. Again, it's the Rambam's v'lo od according to this read, this reading runs parallel to those two phrases in the Chovos Halvovos. Again, you can think it's right here and not think it's right there, vice versa. It seems a little bit this way in the Chovos Halvovos in perek ches, but does one need to... if one came at 9:30, does one now need to come at 7:30 or is teshuva now coming at 8 o'clock? Meaning, does one now need to be better than the standard? He's saying it qualitatively in terms of the hafnama et cetera. So I don't know. It yitachen that it may also be in the sense that the syagim that a person will make for himself is that you never know when the subway is going to take longer, so I'm going to aim to be there 7:00 every morning so that it can't happen that I'll be late again. It may also, but primarily in the nimshal we're talking more about a mindset of teshuvah, but it could be that it will also to a degree even translate that the analog will to a degree be literal.