Mishlei 1:24-25: Giving and Receiving Rebuke

Hi, good morning Rabosai. I apologize for the delay. Pasuk chaf daled I believe. יען קראתי ותמאנו נטיתי ידי ואין מקשיב. I called and you refused to listen. I extended my hand and there was no response. What does the Gra say?

הקריאה היא כאשר פונה ללכת והוא עדיין אינו רחוק ממנו אז קוראים לו.

So to call implies that there is a certain distance, right? If someone is sitting across - you're sitting across the table from your chavrusa, you don't call to him. If your chavrusa is sort of at the other end of a room, not the beis medrash, you're not going to call there and disturb everyone else in the beis medrash, but you get the idea. If your chavrusa is at a distance, so then you have to call to him. If he's right in front of you, you don't call to him. So הקריאה היא כאשר פונה ללכת. The person is turning to leave, והוא עדיין אינו רחוק ממנו but on the other hand he's within earshot, az korim lo.

אבל כאשר הוא רחוק עד שאין שומעים קולו אז מרמזים לו בידיים שיחזור.

Then you sort of wave to get the person's attention, right? So that's the imagery of

נטיתי ידי ואין מקשיב. וזהו קראתי כאשר הייתם קרובים ותמאנו

and you refused. נטיתי ידי אף על פי שמאנתם והתרחקתם עוד even though you refused my initial overture. I'm sorry one second. Even though you refused my original overture vehisrachaktem od and you distanced yourself even further,

אף על פי כן רחמתי עליכם ונטיתי ידי שתחזרו אלי. ואין מקשיב כל מה שעשה עצמו כאילו אינו רואה ושומע. ותפרעו כל עצתי ותוכחתי לא אביתם.

Vatifreu kol atzasi.

דרך האוהב בתחילה נותן עצה שילך בזה הדרך הטוב וכשלא ישמע אליו וילך בדרך לא טוב אז מוכיח אותו על שהולך בדרך לא טוב. וזהו ותפרעו כל עצתי שנתתי לכם ללכת בדרך הטוב והישר ולא שמעתם לעצתי והלכתם אחר שרירות לבכם הרע.

So I think the lashon here of vatifreu, let's see you have... And towards the end of Parshat Shmot, you have the pasuk

ויאמר אליהם מלך מצרים למה משה ואהרן תפריעו את העם ממעשיו לכו לסבלותיכם.

Well when Moshe Rabbeinu comes initially to Paro and delivers the dvar Hashem saying that we should go נלכה שלשת ימים במדבר ונזבחה לה׳ אלוהינו, so Paro's response is, Paro's response is vatitpre'u, is למה משה ואהרן תפריעו את העם ממעשיו. Right, that same shoresh albeit in a conjugated in a different binyan of pe resh ayin, so what does it mean here? So Rav Saadia Gaon says tavtalu. Rashi says tavdilu vetarchiku. Either way, either understanding certainly plugs in here of vatitpre'u kol atzati, either you were mevatel my eitza or you pushed it away, right, you distanced the eitza from yourself.

ותפרעו כל עצתי ותוכחתי לא אביתם. אחרי הוכחתי אתכם על שהלכתם בדרך לא טוב ולא אביתם לשמוע תוכחתי.

The lashon of ולא אביתם לשמוע תוכחתי is interesting. It's not simply velo kibaltem tochechti, even though that's the point, right, the point is to be mekabel tochecha. And we do find kemidomeh that idiom. So why is here the idiom lo avitem? I don't know, but but maybe again it's not that this is consistently the idiom. Right, avitem means not to want, right, and evyon, and evyon is someone who who's needy, who wants, who wants everything because because he's so needy. So maybe it has the sense here of that lemaise to really be receptive and responsive to tochecha, a person has to want it. And kol zman that we don't welcome tochecha, kol zman that we don't welcome the tochecha, it's unlikely to be able to penetrate and strike a responsive chord within us.

אחרי הוכחתי אתכם על שהלכתם בדרך לא טוב ולא אביתם לשמוע תוכחתי.

Let's say in Parshat Re'eh, by the parsha of meisis, who who looks to incite a person to be over avoda zara, so Rashi, so the Torah says lo sove lo. Sishm'a elav. The response that the musas should have to the mesis is lo soveh lo. So what does lo soveh lo mean? Again, the same shoresh here as lo avisem. So Rashi says לא תהא תאב לו, lo so'avehu. You shouldn't be desirous, you shouldn't love him in this context. I don't know the Rashi's a little bit funny because lichora the sof here is a prefix. The sof is not really part of the shoresh as it is in the word ta'ev. So I don't know it's tzarich iyun a little bit in this Rashi. The Ramban says that avah is lashon ratzon. ולא אבה השם אלוקיך לשמוע אל בלעם. lo ratzah. lo avah yabmi ממה שאמר ואם לא יחפוץ. Right, the Torah describes the yavam as lo yachpotz, he doesn't desire to perform yibum with the yevama. And then the yevama takeh says as part of the chalitzah process, she says of the yavam that lo avah yabmi. So you see that avah is an inyan of ratzon. But either way whether it's desiring something or whether it's wanting it's very close, very similar. Vatisre'u lo avisem, you didn't want my tochachah. V'eilu ha-arba says the Gaon הם נגד ארבעה פסוקים הנזכרים לעיל. Yaan karasi hu keneged b'rosh homiyos tikra. It corresponds to b'rosh homiyos tikra again those pesukim were talking about the manifestation, the availability of chochmah. So yaan karasi corresponds to b'rosh homiyos tikra. Natisi yadi where the person is gesturing to someone who's quite distant, hu keneged chochmos bachutz, right? Remember the Gaon explained in that pasuk of chochmos bachutz that the person is so distant that basically he only hears the echo of the sound, not the actual sound. Vatisre'u chol atzasi is hu neged תשובו לתוכחתי שהיא עצה. Meaning whereas I provided tochachah rebuke, here again this is all davar v'hipucho is ותפרעו כל עצתי שהיא עצה. So that's very interesting, right? Vatisre'u chol atzasi is the antithesis of the tashuvu l'tochachti. So the Gaon says that only makes sense obviously if there's an equation between tochachah and eitzah. When a person is giving tochachah, which we generally translate as rebuke, so then a person is in reality giving an eitzah. So that's a very insightful, s-i-g-h-t, very insightful equation. The emes is that the translation of tochachah as rebuke is somewhat misleading, even though it's technically correct in a certain context, but it's also somewhat misleading. What lehochiyach really means, I think Rashi in where is it? In Bereishis I think points out what tochachah really means. Let's say we say lehochiyach also means to prove, it means to clarify. Now sometimes the mitzvah of הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך is for someone not to tell off the chotei. The point is not to tell the chotei off, not to give him a piece of your mind. The point is to clarify for the chotei the wrongness of his way or ways so that he'll change them. And that's why the Rambam defines the mitzvah in perek vav hilchos deios. The Rambam defines the mitzvah of tochachah as lehachaziro l'mutav. The mitzvah of tochachah is to have an influence on the person. person to get him to change. Again, and the primary meaning of lehocheiach is to clarify for the person. Again, as lashon I think Rashi has in one place, he says that tochacha is lashon birur devarim. I think on, no I think the Rashi is on והוכיח אברהם את אבימלך. So I think Rashi says there that hochiyach is lashon birur devarim. And that's really what it means in the context of... No, that's not the Rashi here, Rashi is elsewhere. And that's what it means here in the context of mitzvas tochacha, hence the Gaon's pshat that ותפרעו כל עצתי ונגד תשובו לתוכחתי she-hi eitzah. Vetochachti lo avisem hu neged עד מתי פתים תאהבו פתי she-hi tochacha. That is the tochacha that was provided. Okay rabosai, everyone should have a good productive morning. Be well, be safe im yirtzeh Hashem.