Lessons in Avodas Hashem (after 1st Yahrzeit of his brother)

שותא דרב מודעא אשתא מעבר ובסאי. I thank Rabbi Billet, Rav Schachter, the entire tzibur for the opportunity to come and share some thoughts and some divrei Torah and with your permission we'll begin with two programmatic remarks. The content and the substance of the talk will be a shiur rather than a hesped and the reason for that is that the halakha says that even for talmidei chakhamim, even for the greatest of talmidei chakhamim, that after yud bet chodesh one does not deliver eulogies. Even Rabbeinu HaKadosh who authored, who compiled the Mishna, who's singularly responsible for the transmission of Torah she-ba'al peh, the eulogies lasted twelve months but not beyond that. But a word of elaboration is necessary. Clearly there's no deadline in terms of our being allowed, not allowed, obligated of learning from gedolim. We continue to tell stories about the gedolim throughout the generations, literally from Avraham Avinu down to most recent times and the stories are a source of Torah and not only are we allowed to do so but we're obligated to do so. So where's the line that demarcates between a hesped that one does not engage in, a eulogy that one does not deliver after the twelve month period of aveilus has concluded as opposed to the ongoing Talmud Torah? So in theory there are two considerations but ultimately kemidomeh that there's one overriding consideration. The first one, again, which is more theoretical than practical, is that clearly there's a difference. A person can be we can be learning, we can be talking about chesed and in that context we can tell a story or two about one of the chachmei hamasora to help illustrate the point, to help us learn, to help us grasp the point, to help us have a vivid, graphic illustration, an example of the point. But clearly the emphasis is on the Torah, is on the chesed. Or a person can use Torah concepts to help gain insight into the character of a person. Any talmid chacham, so to gain insight into that person, what he represented, how he lived his life, we're going to have to introduce divrei Torah. But there's a clear difference. In one case the focus is on the divrei Torah and the story is there to help flesh out the divrei Torah. And in the other instance the focus is on the person and the divrei Torah are there to help us conceptualize and frame and understand who the person was. So the former is Talmud Torah, the second potentially is more in the line of a hesped of a eulogy. But the other and ultimately overriding and decisive consideration is that a hesped evokes an emotional reaction. When we, let's say we would do our best through whatever sources were available to reconstruct a religious spiritual biography of one of the giants of our masora, of Rabbi Akiva Eiger and the focus wouldn't be on divrei Torah, the focus would be on the person, on the individual, it wouldn't evoke an emotional reaction. It would be tremendously inspiring and edifying, it wouldn't evoke an emotional reaction for the simple reason reason that he's a historical figure. He belongs to history; there's no sense of loss that's being created, that's being accentuated for someone who left this world over 200 years ago. A hesped evokes emotional reaction because the hesped is about someone not from the past, but someone from our present who has been snatched away. And because of that, the same portrait, the same portrait of a figure from history won't be classified as a hesped, and the same amalgam of divrei torah and stories of someone who's recently departed will, correctly and legitimately, be classified as a hesped because it will have that emotional component. I'm not capable in such a proximity to the yud beis chodesh, to the events of the 25th of cheshvan last year, I'm not capable of talking directly about my brother זכר צדיק וקדוש לברכה of integrating directly stories and anecdotes without crossing the line and introducing and injecting that emotional component. So for that reason, tonight's reflections were entitled lessons in avodas hashem and what we're going to talk about directly in the few minutes that we'll spend together be'ezras hashem we're going to talk about divrei torah. The themes of the divrei torah are themes that are appropriate for a kinus torah in conjunction, in commemoration of my brother's first yahrzeit. Besides the feeling within me that dictates it, there's also a maiseh rav on which I rely. There's also a precedent. When my father passed away, so shortly after the completion of the yud beis chodesh, we had a hachnasas sefer torah in his memory. The sefer torah had been written over the course of the year, and the hachnasas sefer torah was within approximately two weeks of the completion of the yud beis chodesh. My brother at the time came in from eretz yisrael for the hachnasas sefer torah and gave a very very beautiful drasha. And in the drasha, there was no explicit reference to our father. And he said at the end of the drasha, it's after yud beis chodesh, it's not a time of hesped, but you'll understand why I chose the themes that I did and why I focused on the points that I did on this occasion. And the same I hope will be true for what we discuss together tonight. That's the first programmatic remark. The second programmatic remark is that I come here, and I say this sincerely, not with any flattery, with the utmost respect for the audience, and the way that respect will express itself is that we're going to be talking about concepts which are very very challenging spiritually, very very ambitious mandates, and we're going to do so without adulteration and without any apologetics. The rambam opens hilchos deios, it's the sum of it is the first source that you have in front of you in the handout, by telling us that people naturally have different character dispositions. And the rambam says... The people who naturally are born with a violent temper, a very easily angered. There are people who naturally are at the opposite end of the spectrum, they're very apathetic. There are people who are born again, the Rambam in Halacha Base, you don't have that in front of you, makes the point of saying that many of these character traits are innate. Some are acquired, but some are some are innate. Some of these dispositions are innate. Some people are born with a voracious appetite for physical, material pleasure. And there too there's there are some who naturally are at the other end of the spectrum, who naturally are have ascetic tendencies. And the Rambam illustrates this variety of types and the wide range and and the wide divergence and diversity in for many many character traits. And the Rambam continues in Halacha Daled and very famously tells us that what the Torah expects of us is to blend those extremes and therefore end up in the middle. He identifies this middle path with the Torah's mitzvah of vehalachta bidrachav generally translated as imitatio dei. But then the Rambam makes clear, and if you'll just take a look it's it's the Halacha Zayin, I guess the third excerpt that you have under the under the letter Aleph in front of you, the Rambam makes clear a very crucial point. He says, כיצד ירגיל אדם עצמו בדעות אלו עד שיקבעו בו? How does a person train himself or herself that the correct balance, the correct blend should become ingrained within him or her? עד שיקבעו דעות אלו בנפשו. The Rambam says, יעשה וישנה וישלש במעשים שעושה, that a person just by constant reinforcement, if I'm looking to become a calm person, so then I have to initially it's going to require tremendous effort to force myself to act calmly. But if I do that again and again and again, so then not only will I be acting calmly, but that calmness, that composure will become ingrained within me. So what emerges here, and and this is something which is so remarkable and and so central, is that for the Rambam the Torah's expectation is is not simply that we behave in a certain way, but that we we cultivate certain basic character traits. And what's more, what the Rambam is telling us is that each one of us has the capacity to affect fundamental change in our core character. That a person has the ability to change his or her very nature because the Rambam makes a point of saying, A, that there are many character traits which are innate, and that B, what the Torah expects of us is not just to if if by nature again I have a violent temper and I'm easily angered, so the Torah's the Torah's expectation of me is not simply that I have to control that temper and that I have to prevent an outburst. I have to do that, but the Torah's expectation is more than that. The Torah's expectation is that I affect fundamental change and that I change myself from being an angry person, from being a person with a violent temper who's easily angered, and there's a transformation. And again, not only that I control the temper, but that I become inwardly a calm person. That's a remarkable thing. So the Rambam is telling us again that not only that the Torah is telling us that not only again can an angry person control his or her anger, but an angry person can become a calm person. That not only can a a a a... A nervous person control, again we're talking about normal psychology now, abnormal psychology is a separate shmooze, that not only can a nervous person control that nervousness, but the nervous person can become inwardly serene. That not only can a weak person sort of force himself, herself, to rise to the occasion and show strength of character, but the weak person can become a strong person. Not only can a person who’s by nature lazy, not only can that person force himself or herself to act industriously, but the person can become an industrious person. We’re capable of affecting fundamental change in who we are and what we are. The Rav used to recount that his paternal grandfather Reb Chaim once told the Rav’s father, Reb Chaim’s son, Reb Moshe Soloveitchik, so Reb Chaim’s chesed was beyond belief and beyond description. His home functioned as a, there was the way Chazal describe Avraham Avinu’s tent, open on all four sides, it functioned twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, as a drop-in center, as a youth hostel, as a place for where illegitimate children were left, where people who were homeless moved in, indescribable, and until one has heard actual accounts, unimaginable. The chesed was extraordinary. So Reb Chaim just said in a few short words, he said to his son, don’t think that I was born this way, I had to work very hard to become this way. The Rav used to say it even more dramatically, but the drama was not at the expense of accuracy or truth. He used to say that Reb Chaim naturally was a cruel person, he was an achzar, but he affected fundamental change. It’s not easy, it takes a lifetime of effort, but we need to know that it’s possible, because we only aspire and we only set out to do what we know is doable, what we know is realistic. If we’re not aware that something, usually we operate with the assumption that okay, that’s who I am, I’m a weak person, that’s who I am, and given that there’s only so much I can expect from myself. I’m not a very sensitive person, so given that there’s only so much I can expect from myself. And that’s what the Rambam in Hilchos De'os tells us, it’s not the case, that the capacity of free will with which Hakadosh Baruch Hu endowed us is so potentially revolutionary and so potentially transformative that a person can take a character trait and koveia banefesh. It becomes ingrained, it becomes entrenched, he affects fundamental change. One idea. If you take a look at the letter beis here in the sheet in front of you, a mishna which we’re all familiar with from Pirkei Avos. רבן יוחנן בן זכאי used to say, the meforshim point out that רבן יוחנן בן זכאי, the author of this statement, is described in the Gemara in Sukkah as having had encyclopedic mastery of every area of Torah. Exoteric, esoteric. every area of Torah you name it, so רבן יוחנן בן זכאי was a master. So this רבן יוחנן בן זכאי used to say

אם למדת תורה הרבה אל תחזיק טובה לעצמך כי לכך נוצרת.

Don't be self-congratulatory because you were created for that purpose. Ramchal very famously in the 18th century, fast forwarding, Ramchal in the beginning of his classic Mesillas Yesharim also makes a point of saying that a person is created to come closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. That's the telos, that's the goal of life. Rabbeinu Yonah says even though the Mishnah explicitly references only Talmud Torah, the same is true about Kiyum HaMitzvos, the practical Mitzvos.

אם עשית מצוות הרבה אל תחזיק טובה לעצמך כי לכך נוצרת.

If a person has fulfilled many Mitzvos, whether interpersonal Mitzvos, bein adam l'chavero, bein adam l'makom, there's nothing to be self-congratulatory about. That's a person was created for that purpose. That is the purpose of his life. The excerpt, we're not going to read it now, but if you have a few moments you'll take a look later perhaps in the letter Dalet from the Rambam's introduction to Perush HaMishnayos, so the Rambam has again this same discussion what the purpose of our existence is. Sometimes we sort of compartmentalize and we take our lives as a given and we see Torah Mitzvos as occupying a place within that life. Sometimes we assign it a smaller space within that life, sometimes we assign it a larger space within that life. But what Chazal, what the Rishonim, what all our Baalei Musar tell us is no, that is the purpose of life. That's what life is all about. It's not a dimension of life. One's involvement in Avodas Hashem, one's quest to serve Hashem, to come close to Hashem, it's not a dimension of life, a very important dimension of life, a very important aspect of life, no, it is life. That's what life is all about. Everything else is to help us be able to focus on that quest, on that goal, on achieving that purpose. But that is what life is about. Now, it's a challenge as compelling and obvious as it seems when we sort of step back and reflect. Ramchal says it can't be that Hakadosh Baruch Hu infused within us such a holy neshamah and Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us such intellectual gifts just that life should be a joyride in the amusement park. It doesn't make sense that that's what it's all about. The Rambam in this excerpt from his introduction to his commentary on the Mishnah says if you compare people, humanity to the animal kingdom, he says everything else we do, they do also. He says we eat and drink, they eat and drink, we procreate, they procreate, we build houses, they build houses, albeit maybe they build nests and we build bigger houses and but l'maiseh it's not fundamentally different. He says the only thing that's singularly, uniquely human is when we use our intellect to discover Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to know Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and then to act on that. That and and to live accordingly. That's what it means to be human and and that's what the the purpose and goal of life is, and sometimes because one of the most real nisyonos that one of the the the biggest trials and challenges with which we all have to cope is that we do live in a in a physical world and and we do have to we we are supposed to make a living and we are supposed to attend to to physical and and bodily needs and sustain our our health. But we're supposed to do that without without losing that clarity of of understanding of that there's only one single ultimate goal and purpose and telos, and and and that's is ki lechach nutzarta, whether ki lechach nutzarta is the Talmud Torah, whether ki lechach nutzarta is is the kiyum hamitzvos. The Rambam says everything else a person does is external to to who he or or she is. Say a person amasses wealth. It's external to who that person is. The person is is he wields, he or she wields power or clout. It's external to who the person is. The only thing that that's intrinsic to who the person is, what's what registers on the person's soul, so that's something which is that's something which is intrinsic to the person is. That's what what life is. It's not an aspect, it's not a dimension, not something which which should be therefore be compartmentalized, that is what life is. And that's what Ramchal concludes. That's why again, the Mishna, the the the Mishna in Pirkei Avos, again with which we're familiar says that olam hazeh is an antechamber before this world is an antechamber before the world to come. So that means that's that's what the purpose is. That's what life is about. And it's it's a challenge, but but but a challenge that that it's crucial that that we meet to to try to not lose that that clarity of understanding. If if you take a look on the on the on the other side of of the page, again when we look at the sources, whether it's a Rambam, whether it's a Ramchal or whatever the the source may be, so invariably these sources are reflecting Mamarei Chazal, but but here the sources are sort of woven together and and presented, so we're we're looking at them in in this form. The Rambam writes in in the third chapter Hilchos Deios, he writes as follows: צריך אדם שיכוין לבו לכל מעשיו, a person should direct, should focus, right kavana is concentration because it's directed, it's focused. צריך אדם שיכוין לבו לכל מעשיו, a person should direct his mind, his heart, and all his actions לדעת השם ברוך הוא. Meaning that that the natural logical corollary to what we just spoke about, that the purpose of life, the goal of life is to connect Hakadosh Boruch Hu, so the natural corollary of that is that if that's the goal and purpose of life, so then there should be this single-minded focus in in everything we do. And that's what the Rambam says,

צריך אדם שיכוין לבו לכל מעשיו כולם לדעת השם ברוך הוא בלבד,

that a person should direct his, her mind and heart and all his, her actions to to know Hakadosh Boruch Hu ויהיה שבתו וקומו ודבורו הכל ומזה הדבר, and everything should be geared and calibrated towards that end. Again, there's a natural logical progression. If that's what life is, if that's what life's about, if that's what's meaningful about life, then that's what we should be be focused on. Again, this single-minded intensity doesn't mean that that it doesn't manifest itself variously. There can be this single-minded intensity, so at times it means that that a person is is going to the doctor so that he'll be healthy to be able to continue the the the journey. It's motivated by again either as a preliminary or as an ultimate a lifetime of avodas Hashem. What's so remarkable about the way the Rambam cites this Mishnah is if you'll engage in the following exercise: You'll learn through Pirkei Avos and you follow up the citations, the cross-references to where the Rambam quotes various Mishnayos in Pirkei Avos, so you'll find that some of the Mishnayos in Pirkei Avos that the Rambam quotes, he has a later chapter here in Hilchos Deios which the Rambam introduces as that there's a higher standard to which a talmid chacham has to hold himself. There's a higher standard with which a talmid chacham has to comply. The same way he's distinguished in terms of his knowledge, he has to be distinguished in terms of his conduct as well. And some of the Mishnayos in Pirkei Avos the Rambam quotes in that context. Meaning not everything in Pirkei Avos is addressed to all of us. Some of it is addressed to again the special few who have really, really distinguished themselves. So we would have thought if that's the case, if once you recognize that what's in Pirkei Avos, some of what's in Pirkei Avos is not intended as a universal exhortation, but is intended as an exhortation specifically for the elite Chachamim, so I think we would have thought that בכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים, to live by that standard, so that's for the gedolei hador. That's not talking to me. That's for the gedolei hador. I don't know, maybe הוי מקבל את כל האדם בסבר פנים יפות, to greet people nicely, okay, so I can hear that that's a charge given to me that I have to work on implementing. But בכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים, that's good for the gedolim. Says the Rambam, no, this Mishnah בכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים is talking to each and every one of us. Again, what those maasim will be, what the mix and blend will be between Torah, avoda, and gemilus chasadim is going to vary. There certainly will be within the Torah, there will be individuality. There's a very famous comment of the Rambam in his Peirush HaMishnayos in the end of Maseches Makkos. The end of Maseches Makkos is where the famous Mishnah of רבי חנניא בן עקשיא appears:

רצה הקדוש ברוך הוא לזכות את ישראל לפיכך הרבה להם תורה ומצוות.

That Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted to bestow merit upon the Jewish people, so because of that, He gave us so many mitzvos. So the meforshim deal with the obvious question that lich'ora the fewer mitzvos He gives, so then the less chance there is that we're going to mess up, that we're going to trip up. So what does it mean that רצה הקדוש ברוך הוא לזכות את ישראל, Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to do us a favor, Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to increase our merit, so He gives us more mitzvos? So a lot of very beautiful answers that our sages throughout the generations have given to this. The Rambam offers the following: This is the Rambam's understanding of the Mishnah. The Rambam says it's miyisodei hadas, it's a fundamental principle of our belief that in addition to complying with the whole Torah, a person doesn't pick and choose his or her mitzvos. We comply with all mitzvos that are relevant, that are binding on us. But in order to merit Olam Haba, a person has to at least at one point in his life do one mitzvah. entirely lishma without any ulterior motive. There should be at one point, there should be one mitzvah that a person does, and there was no ulterior motive, the performance was pure. ורצה הקדוש ברוך הוא לזכות את ישראל says the Rambam means that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us such a variety of mitzvos that everyone is going to be attuned within that plethora of mitzvos, everyone's going to be attuned to a mitzvah that he or she at some point in their life will fulfill that mitzvah again according to that gold standard which is needed to gain entry to olam haba. So the Rambam recognizes the individuality. So within the וכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים in terms of how it is that given that the entire purpose of life is avodas Hashem, so that should therefore be the focus of everything we do, of course there's going to be within Torah, within the legitimate boundaries of Torah, the individuality will be reflected, but that challenge of וכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים according to the Rambam is a challenge which is extended to each and every one of us. And here the three points that we've been discussing sort of converge. I think one's perhaps initial reaction to hearing that, that the challenge, the mandate of וכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים that everything a person does, everything, that we should aspire that literally our entire schedule from the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we go to sleep at night, including what time we go to sleep at night, that everything should be geared and calibrated towards our avodas Hashem, so I think one's sort of instinctive reaction to that is, who are you kidding? That's too tall of an order. And here where I think the first point we were talking about should reverberate, again there we spoke about it in context of tikkun hamiddos, in context of effecting fundamental change is that the thrust of so much of what we're talking about is do we properly do we have an accurate sense of just how much we're really capable of? Or do we underestimate just what our spiritual capacity is? If the mitzvah of vehalachta bidrachav says that even though I'm naturally an angry person, the mitzvah is not only to control the anger but to become a calm person, so that means that the Torah is telling us that I have, that we have that capacity. And if the challenge of וכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים to try to to train ourselves gradually, it doesn't happen overnight, there's no quick fix here, this is a a lifetime journey, a lifetime quest, a lifetime of work, but the challenge of וכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים is a challenge extended to each and every one of us, it means that each and every one of us has that capacity for greatness. And we shouldn't make the mistake of identifying how many people there are who have a capacity for greatness by looking at how many people who have realized that capacity and who have achieved greatness. And that we all have tremendous spiritual capacities and potencies and reservoir of strength to tap. And just to add one final perspective alongside, again, when reflecting upon again these very ambitious challenges and mandates, so A, we should be aware of just how much potential we really have, but there's another crucial perspective as well and that, if you take a look the last four sources that you have here in the handout. the Chachmei HaMasora are saying it in their own vocabulary, in their own context, but you'll see there's a very clear common denominator. Rabbeinu Yona writes at the very beginning of Sha'arei Teshuva, he says that the Torah explains that what's beyond a person's in doing teshuva, if there's something which is beyond a person's capacity, as long as a person is doing his or her best, so then HaKadosh Baruch Hu does the rest. HaKadosh Baruch Hu makes it happen. U'v'hisba'er Ba'Torah, again we're looking at letter Chet, u'v'hisba'er Ba'Torah, it's explained in the Torah כי יעזור השם לשבים. When a person is coming to be a penitent, to do teshuva, HaKadosh Baruch Hu helps כאשר אין יד טבעם משגת when naturally they can't, they can't, their best notwithstanding they can't scale that wall. So says Rabbeinu Yona that at that point יחדש בקרבם רוח טהורה להשיג מעלת אהבתו and that's what the pasuk means ומל השם אלוקיך את לבבך ואת לבב זרעך. HaKadosh Baruch Hu will, will energize them and will infuse within them this, this spirit of purity that will allow them again to finish their, their journey of teshuva. The earlier Chovos HaLevavos had said the same thing at the end of his classic sefer in Sha'ar Ahavas Hashem, he said the same thing. He said the truth is that לא תיכן מכל אדם. The truth is at the highest levels of Ahavas Hashem are not naturally attainable, and when they are attained, it's only because once a person does his best, it's attained b'ometz HaBorei v'ezraso. It's attained because again, HaKadosh Baruch Hu says you'll meet me, I don't know that it's halfway, but wherever along the journey it is, HaKadosh Baruch Hu says you do your best, so then I'll extend the helping hand and elevate you the rest of the way. The Rambam has the same idea, effectively the same idea. The Rambam comments on the ma'amar Chazal in Hilchos Teshuva, it's what you have here in the letter Yud in front of you. The ma'amar Chazal, again, so well known, that הבא ליטהר מסייעין אותו, that one who comes sincerely wanting to purify himself or herself and is doing his best, so mesay'in oso. So the Rambam says, what does it mean? So the Rambam says מידה זו בכל אדם. This quality, again, b'chol adam, this quality exists in every one of us. This is not just something in the genes of an elite aristocratic few, מידה זו בכל אדם, it's true of every one of us, שכל זמן שהוא נמשך בדרכי החכמה והצדק, that if a person takes the first steps in pursuit along the pathways of chochma, of wisdom, and tzedek, and righteousness, mis'aveh lahem, so then there's something in it which that, that energizes him and, and gives him greater, greater ability v'rodef osam. And this is what Raboseinu zal and this is what our sages were expressing when they said

הבא ליטהר מסייעין אותו, כלומר ימצא עצמו נעזר על הדבר.

It's the same idea. It could be that sort of, now was not really the time, but it could be sort of the Rambam in the same way that the Rambam thinks HaKadosh Baruch Hu programmed miracles into nature, so whereas Rabbeinu Yona and the Chovos HaLevavos described that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is extending the hand now when we reach our limits to make it happen, so the Rambam describes that that's programmed into nature, that when a person seemingly has done as much as he can, so then he finds that כלומר ימצא עצמו נעזר על הדבר, then he finds that, that he has even more, more strength and more energy and greater capacity to continue. So when we reflect on these, again, clearly, very, very ambitious challenges and mandates of affecting fundamental character change, of maintaining a clarity of vision on what life is about. and letting that carry over to its logical corollary of how we should live our lives purposefully, so if we think that it's too much, so there are two perspectives that we need to constantly remember. One is basically the potential gadlus ha-adam, the potential for greatness, מידה זו בכל אדם, the potential for greatness which inheres within each and every one of us. And the other thing is when looking at the task, not to make the mistake of thinking that the expectation is that we're going to be able to accomplish that single-handedly. The expectation is that if we'll work, albeit very hard, and do our best, so then Hakadosh Baruch Hu makes the rest happen.