Internet Issues

And there are at least three or four vantage points on tonight's topic which are worth reviewing. The first one, the רמב"ם writes quoting מאמרי חז"ל at the end of

הלכות איסורי ביאה, אין לך דבר בכל התורה כולה שהוא קשה לרוב העם לפרוש אלא מן העריות והביאות האסורות.

The most difficult מצוה for the majority of people to comply with is that of עריות and

ביאות אסורות. אמרו חכמים בשעה שנצטוו ישראל על העריות בכו וקבלו מצוה זו בתרעומת ובבכיה שנאמר בכה למשפחותיו על עסקי משפחות. ואמרו חכמים חז"ל

also say גזל ועריות נפשו של אדם מתאוה להן ומחמדתן. A person covets, a person desires

עריות. ואין אתה מוצא קהל בכל זמן וזמן שאין בהן פרוצין בעריות וביאות אסורות.

In every age, רחמנא לצלן this breach, this עבירה exists in our midst. The רמב"ם concludes,

לפיכך ראוי לו לאדם לכוף יצרו בדבר זה ולהרגיל עצמו בקדושה יתירה ובמחשבה טהורה ובדעה נכונה כדי להינצל מהן.

I think often when we hear people who have the clinical experience recounting the horror stories of people, of families who have been ruined, and the source of the ruination has been what they've been exposed to, what they've seen on the internet. So on some level, maybe we articulate it or maybe we don't articulate it, we think but that doesn't really relate to me. How did it happen? I don't know. הוכיח סופו על תחילתו that must have been some predisposition, some inclination, something probably wasn't totally גלאט there initially. And because of that, as much as we hear again from the יודעי דבר who are privy to these things across whose desks these horror stories come, as much as we hear them recounted, it doesn't make such an impression upon us. חז"ל caution us that when the תורה, when חז"ל tell us something about human nature, about our susceptibilities, about our moral weaknesses and vulnerabilities, it's not only foolhardy but it's perilous to disregard what the תורה, what חז"ל tell us again about that to which we're susceptible. And חז"ל illustrate, שלמה המלך החכם מכל אדם, אני ארבה ולא אסור. I don't need to engage in the precautions, this doesn't relate to me. If שלמה המלך was wrong, the chances are not too good that we'd be correct in adopting the same position, the same posture. There isn't room for any doubt that the

רמב"ם's לפיכך ראוי לו לאדם לכוף יצרו בדבר זה ולהרגיל עצמו בקדושה יתירה ובמחשבה טהורה ובדעה נכונה כדי להינצל מהן

certainly doesn't allow for just unfiltered, constant exposure to the internet that we all have. Moreover, I think another mistake that we often make in reflecting about this is not thinking of gradations of aveira, not looking at the whole spectrum. For something like the internet to be mekalkel, it doesn't have to be rachmana litzlana worst-case scenario that it results in actual gilluy arayot, rachmana litzlan. That the tum'at einayim which can result, what it does to a person's machshavot, that's enough of a churban. Even if rachmana litzlan it doesn't result in worst-case scenario, that doesn't mean that there isn't very real and rachmana litzlan potentially lasting damage that's done to a person's neshama. The tendency that we sometimes have to be smarter than Chazal, it's not only in this context. Chazal tell it to us in lots of contexts and again when a person has to be very, very careful not to be smarter than Chazal. A second perspective: even if one's use of the internet is filtered, so again what we're talking about is obviously devarim yeduyim. But the amount of bittul zman which it occasions is inestimable. To use, to make use of it without safeguards built in to avoid the bittul zman, the halacha is that we're mechallel Shabbat for chayei sha'ah. If having massive chillul Shabbat will prolong a life for five minutes, so we would do it because every minute of life is so valuable. Clearly, clearly it's just so inviting to be drawn in and to just spend hour after hour after hour just totally wasting and squandering time. So there too there has to be some precaution built in, whether the precaution built in is that there's an alarm that's going to go off in X minutes, whether the precaution built in is a chok velo ya'avor that I'm only doing it for what absolutely is necessary, that some assignment I have to hand in online, so I'm doing that assignment and handing it in and vassol midei. But there has to be some kind of built-in precaution because otherwise the loss of time is shrecklich. Even when a person needs downtime, even when a person needs to relax, and even if a person will be doing it with material which isn't inherently objectionable, which isn't inherently problematic, there's certainly many, many things which can be viewed or done online which are mind-numbing and stultifying. It's also, a person needs to relax. A person should not do it in a way that's, again, even on the level of training one's mind and one's instincts, a person shouldn't do it in a way that's antithetical. To do things that are just mind-numbing is also totally wrong for a ben Torah. And the final perspective I wanted to spend a few minutes discussing, and again it's one which has applications in talking about the internet, but it has much broader and far-reaching implications as well, is that... Too often and in too many contexts we unwittingly unconsciously allow the society around us to define the axioms of our life to sort of define the givens and the parameters of what's possible and what's impossible. Too many of us take for granted that you can't have a household that doesn't have internet. And and the whole discussion is do you get a filter don't you get a filter which filter and and which is the the most effective filter and and what are the the relative advantages and disadvantages but it's it's taken for granted that you need you need oxygen to to breathe and you need internet to live so it's it's sort of axiomatic that we're going to have it that we're going to have it and then the question is so what do you do with it and how do you make sure that when you're raising your children that the again that the various pitfalls that we've been discussing how do you help them avoid it. And again it's not only in this area that that we again unknowingly unconsciously just assimilate what the axioms of the society around us are in terms of level of gashmius that's needed in terms of the level of gashmius that is acceptable. There too instead of thinking what the Torah's definition of the amount of gashmius that a person should have in his life again unknowingly we sort of buy into the conceptions and the mindset of the society that surrounds us. Now obviously we're all aware that that technological advances change the metzius in which we live and obviously the metzius in which we live but that notwithstanding it shouldn't be taken for granted it shouldn't be taken for granted that that in your homes that you're going to have internet and that the chinuch challenge is going to be you know I'm going to keep it in the living room to make sure that the to have that that precaution in place. No it should be very much aderaba. So it should be there are so many so many pitfalls associated with it and of the worst kind and of the worst kind ונפשו של אדם חומדתן and of the worst kind in terms of bittul zeman. Time is life. That's what a person's life is. Person's life consists of time. The pitfalls are so great so why should we why should we accept that axiom of the secular society that that a home has to have internet. Aderaba a Torah'dig home shouldn't have internet. If something which absolutely has to be done so you go to the library. It's it's hard to imagine that most people in the workplace won't have access to it and if there's something that needs to be done online that they won't have access elsewhere but we shouldn't just accept the axioms of of the world around us. When when we think in a different context about the Rambam's mida beinonis so what's moderate so we again instead of sort of looking into Hilchos De'os to figure out what's moderate so we look around the the the size of houses that that we see around us and unknowingly unconsciously that's sort of defines the the parameters of of the discussion. And the same thing again it it can it can and does happen in many different areas it certainly happens here and the real attitude again the real corrective attitude is it's not the filter that's the solution and it's not the alarm clock that's the solution. There's no reason it has to be in a Torah'dig home and that's with all the all the entanglement in terms of business and on every other level that all the inroads that the internet has. home, it's entirely viable, and therefore it's entirely correct that a Torahdik home it shouldn't be. And the way to really be mechanech ourselves and then our children, you can't be mechanech our children until we're mechanech ourselves, the way to really be mechanech them is to not have it. And again, le'eis mitzo when it's needed, everyone knows where to find it when it's really needed and everyone can attend to it, but there should be an attempt to step back and that we should set and establish what the axioms are for our homes and the way we live.