Growing in Ruchnius during Turbulent Times

Thank you very much. Chashuve mar d'asra, mori verabbosai. When given the title Ruchniyus in turbulent times, so there were two immediate associations. The first one, I would assume that this is everyone's association, is with the matzav in Eretz Yisrael. The second one is that we live in spiritually confused times, which creates a lot of turbulence as well. So perhaps bli neder be'ezras Hashem try to comment and reflect on each of these. In terms of the difficult ongoing matzav in Eretz Yisrael, the Rambam writes in Hilchos Melachim first perhaps a perspective and then some further thoughts. In terms of perspective, the Rambam writes in Hilchos Melachim, he says that when the chayalim are going out to battle, so they are told that they should know that they're waging war al yichud Hashem. That whenever a chayal is waging battle, whenever anyone is under attack, so he should know that what's at stake is not land, but what's at stake is yichud Hashem. Presumably the Rambam here is reflecting something that he wrote about at greater length in I think it's in Iggeres Teiman when the Rambam was reacting to word of a shmad in his day. So the Rambam reviews the history of persecution that we've suffered. The Rambam says that the first approach of our enemies was to seek our physical destruction, to attack us physically, militarily. He says the second one was to try to attack us philosophically, the attack which emanated from Greek philosophy. And the Rambam says about both of these that in truth the real attack was really directed against Hakadosh Baruch Hu because the nations of the world resented bechiras Yisrael. And really it was waging war against Hakadosh Baruch Hu but we were the proxy. And then the Rambam says what was then innovated subsequently was a third approach which combined the first two, that the Christians and the Muslims sought to attack us both on philosophical, ideological, religious grounds as well as engaging in the physical and the military. But it remains the same. It remains an attack which is ultimately an attack against Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It's a refusal to accept a profound, profound resentment and antagonistic reaction to bechiras Yisrael. And that's really what drives and what fuels everything. And mimmela that's what the Rambam is reflecting when he writes in Hilchos Melachim that no matter what ostensibly is identified as the cause, so a chayal who is going out to battle should know that really what he's fighting for is for yichud Hashem and he should be focused on that. There is a famous comment which was made by Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky. He made it at the time of the hijacking of the plane that amongst others, amongst the many, many Jews that were on the plane was Rav Hutner, the Rosh Yeshiva of Chaim Berlin. So at the time when a question came up about possibly paying ransom for him, Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky said it wasn't allowed, it was a sha'as milchamah because the truth is that the milchamah was... is ongoing and it's a time of milchama. And what we live through today and all the difficult times that all of you here in Eretz Yisrael endure is all as the Rambam says in Hilchos Melachim, it's all al yichud Hashem. All the suffering, all the difficulty, you should know that that's what it is. It's representing yichud Hashem. Bnei Yisrael are targets because it's an attack on Hakadosh Baruch Hu's bechiras Yisrael. And it's very, very important that we understand that we have that perspective on what's happening. That perspective notwithstanding, of course we're not supposed to be complacent. In devarim ketikunam, the way the world is supposed to be is that yes, Bnei Yisrael Am Hanivchar, and the other nations of the world should recognize it and should acknowledge it instead of attacking us. And if we're being attacked, so it's something which is supposed to elicit a reaction from us. And Yisrael kedoshim heim. It certainly does elicit reaction; we hear all the time and we participate in be'is in atzeres hatefillah, be'is in different kabbalas. But sometimes I wonder if something is missing. Very possibly I'm projecting at this point. I think it's probably a tendency a lot of us have, I certainly am guilty of it many, many times, so it could be that all I'm doing now is projecting my own shortcomings. But in case it's of any relevance, so I'll continue. You know, the Torah tells us

ובצר לך ומצאוך כל הדברים האלה ושבת עד ה' אלוהיך. והיה כי יבואו אליך כל הדברים האלה הברכה והקללה והשבות אל לבבך ושבת עד ה' אלוהיך ושמעת בקולו.

The reaction when one lives in such difficult, turbulent times, times of such great suffering, bichlal uvifrat, is teshuvah. Now, of course kabbalas, tfillah are all integral parts of teshuvah. But they don't exhaust what teshuvah consists of. The Noda Biyehuda writes in a famous teshuvah where he was asked to outline a protocol for teshuvah for someone who had been nichshal over a long period of time becheit chamur, so there's a famous line that Noda Biyehuda writes in his teshuvah that

עיקר התשובה הוא עזיבת החטא ווידוי דברים בלב נשבר חרטה בלב שלם התקרבות והתלהבות לה' אהבת הבורא. החרטה ושבירת הלב והבכי זה נחוץ מאוד והמרבה בבכי במסתרים משובח.

Why is it that we more naturally react in forms of tfillah, kabbalas l'haba, but teshuvah in its broader sense, especially with its emphasis upon confronting the past and experiencing that lev nishbar, charata b'leiv shaleim, והחרטה ושבירת הלב והבכי, that reaction somehow doesn't seem to be as readily forthcoming. So first of all, teshuvah, despite the fact that it's very accessible, the Ramban says when the Torah says bepicha uvelvavcha la'asoso, the Torah is talking about mitzvas hateshuvah. Teshuvah's not easy. It's not intended to be easy, and it isn't easy. The Abarbanel says that al derech hapshat when the Torah says ועניתם את נפשותיכם ביום הכפורים, so in addition to what it obviously means al pi Halacha, the way Chazal explain it to us, so the Abarbanel says al derech hapshat ve'inisem es nafshoseichem refers to teshuva. It refers to the gut-wrenching anguish which is associated with the experience of teshuva. Rabbeinu Yonah writes at the beginning of Sha'arei Teshuva that when contemplating one's shortcomings, one's mistakes, one's faults, one's missteps in the past, a person has to recognize that רב ומר עזבך את השם. It's a gut-wrenching process. There's no easy or quick fix in teshuva. It's very much b'picha u'v'vavcha l'asoso but it's not an easy road necessarily. Perhaps another reason teshuva is something that requires hisbodedus. Requires that a person spend time alone with his or her thoughts with no interference or distraction between oneself and Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Kimidomeh that hisbodedus is something which many of us are not accustomed. Perhaps we're not so accustomed to it because objectively we live very busy lives, something which is compounded by the fact that we're always connected, always reachable by email, by cell phone, and always needing or thinking that we need to respond very quickly. There's also a notion which clearly in context bimida u'vemishkol is entirely correct that we should always be doing. We should always be active, we should always be learning, we should always be engaging in chasadim, we should always be rodef achar mitzvos, and all of that is obviously true. But the point is that to a degree the hisbodedus which is indispensable for teshuva is something which is also doing, is something which is also an integral part, an indispensable part of our Avodas Hashem. The Sforno has a very beautiful comment on משה היה רעה את צאן יתרו חתנו אחר המדבר. So then it says ויבא אל הר האלהים חרבה. So the Sforno comments הוא לבדו בא שם להתבודד ולהתפלל. Apparently Har Sinai, Moshe Rabbeinu already intuited that there was something special about the place. Moshe Rabbeinu was drawn to Har Sinai and the Sforno says he came lehisboded uleispalleil. The Rambam in a different context writes that מרבה כל אדם מעולה להתבודד. That people of substance spend some time with hisbodedus. Obviously there are different drachim in Avodas Hashem and those different drachim in Avodas Hashem assign different amounts of time and different exactly how much time one should spend in hisbodedus and it certainly isn't for me to venture any opinion. But kulei alma modeh that teshuva requires a degree of hisbodedus. Perhaps to just share one thought about teshuva. The Rambam gives us what the quintessential nusach haviduy is that a person says

חטאתי עויתי פשעתי לפניך עשיתי כך וכך והרי ניחמתי ובושתי במעשי ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה.

So the Rambam distills distills everything about the chuva process, the chuva experience, into these few words, מיעוט המחזיק את המרובה. So obviously everything which is reflected in in the Rambam's quintessential nusach havidui is is something which is really really central and integral to to chuva. So why is it that that busha, why is it that the the being able to say to Hakadosh Baruch Hu that I'm embarrassed, why is that so crucial and why is that so central to the the mitzvah and and experience of teshuva? Again, where the Rambam gets it, so we know from the psukim, we say these psukim in in Selichos, בשתי ונכלמתי להרים אלקי פני אליך. So we know where the Rambam gets it from, but but why is it so so important that the Rambam puts it center staged? There are only sort of two reactions that we share to Hakadosh Baruch Hu that we share about our chatoim. One is nichamti, a profound sense of remorse, and the other is boshti. So what characterizes busha is that busha is socially driven. Just for purposes of illustration, let's say I walk into a room, my laces, my shoelaces are untied, so because of that I very clumsily I I trip over my own feet and fall flat on my face. But no one's there. It's it's an empty room. So I may or may not get bruised, I may or may not be angry at myself for getting bruised and and at my own clumsiness, but one thing that I don't experience is I don't experience busha. A person is not embarrassed. In order to be embarrassed, people have to people have to witness my my folly. If if the same thing happens, if I walk into a room and there's fifty people in the room and the same thing happens, so then in addition to everything else, so then I'm going to feel terribly embarrassed. So busha is something which is socially driven. If if no one was present, one doesn't experience busha. So I think most of us most of us are probably careful to do our chatoim in private. לעולם יהא אדם ירא שמים בסתר ובגלוי or beseser k'vagalui. So most of us I think most of us save our chatoim for the most part the chatoim that we do in private. So what are we so embarrassed about? Most people are unaware of unaware of the the majority of our chatoim. So clearly clearly when a person says boshti, what it means is that Ribono Shel Olam I'm embarrassed in front of You. I'm embarrassed in front of You. So why is this so so crucial to the teshuva process that again that the Rambam includes this in that quintessential nusach havidui? So lechora as follows: every every cheit sort of has its own dynamic, it has its own, it has its own yetzer hara. If if a person gets angry, that's one type of yetzer hara, if a person eats something that he shouldn't eat, that's a different type of yetzer hara. All different kinds of yetzer haras. There is one common denominator to virtually every cheit, not talking about a tinok shenishba type of situation or the equivalent thereof, but to virtually every other type of cheit there is one tzad hashaveh, there's one common denominator which is that the person is oblivious to Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence. משל למה הדבר דומה, a person is taking is taking an examination that's going to determine whether he gets into the professional school of of his choice and he's not really prepared for the examination and yet his life's hopes and his life's dreams are riding on this examination. So he's ready to cheat. The yetzer hara has overcome him, he's ready to cheat. Aval d'aka during the entire entire time of the examination, so the proctor is staring right at him. The proctor doesn't stop staring at him for a second. Maybe the proctor was tipped off or something that the guy didn't study for the test or whatever. However the proctor knows to do it, the proctor is staring at him the whole time. So he may not be overcome with hirhurei teshuva and it may not be that the yetzer hatov is misgaber over yetzer hara, but if the proctor is staring at him every moment of the test, he's not going to cheat. It's it's a simple, it's a simple as that. The common denominator... To every every cheit is that we're not aware of the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not on our radar screen. Otherwise, again, the individuality of of every cheit, its own dynamic notwithstanding, we would be inhibited, very healthily, correctly inhibited by the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. No one's no one cheats on a test when when the proctor is is looking right at him. So the the tzad hashaveh of of every cheit is is that Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Rabbeinu Yonah writes this in in Shaarei Teshuva, he says אין זה אלא כי היות השם יתברך רחוק מכליותיו, because Hakadosh Baruch Hu is far from one's thoughts, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not on one's radar screen. So that's why the Rambam says that it's so it's such a fundamental part that when a person is misvadeh, a person has to be able to say boshti. A person has to be able to say boshti because that ultimately represents the tikun hacheit. The tikun hacheit because the the one element which is again in virtually every cheit which is present is the lack of awareness of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So the tikun is boshti, is that enhanced awareness of being in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. In that sense the the hisbodedus that we we spoke of is not only sort of a hechsher mitzvah to to spend time with one's thoughts and cheshbon hanefesh, but the hisbodedus where a person is just himself with Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not only a hechsher mitzvas teshuva but it's an integral part of of the process as well. We mentioned one of the instinctive reactions which we have, which is certainly entirely correct to the matzav, is is one of tefillah, because it it goes to the heart of of what tefillah is supposed to express. The Rav has this in in different places in in his writings, but I think amongst others the Maharal already says it in Nesivos Olam as well, that the essence of tefillah is that a person has a sense of absolute dependence and total helplessness and total vulnerability. And that when a person davens to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, again the mashal being as follows: let's say a parent and I don't think it exists anymore, I think it closed down a few years ago, but there used to be this famous toy store in in Manhattan, FAO Schwarz. So you imagine a parent and a child, they're walking up and down the aisles in FAO Schwarz and and the child keeps tugging on the the parent's sleeve, you know, buy me this, buy me this, buy me that. Maybe if he's if he's well-mannered, well-brought up, please buy me this, please buy me that, but either way the thrust of the comment is the same. So why is the child asking the the parent to to buy it? Why doesn't the child take matters into his own hand? Because the child knows that his father, his mother, has this magic plastic card in in their wallet and they take out this magic plastic card and you can buy whatever you want. And he never doesn't have one of those plastic cards, so belay breira, he has to ask his father, he has to ask his mother, you know, please buy this, please buy that. When we ask, it's because there's a confession that we're not self-sufficient. If we ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu חננו מאתך חכמה בינה ודעת, we ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu hashiveinu, we ask selach lonu, we ask re'ei na, we ask refa'einu because there's an underlying awareness and acknowledgment of of the total and absolute dependence that we have. So often we we live with with a sense of illusion, a sense of being in control, a sense of taking care of ourselves. Obviously the matzav which has been ongoing for so long now in Eretz Yisrael punctures any such illusions. That's what they are, they are illusions. And any illusions of of not being totally vulnerable, of not being not being helpless are are punctured by such a matzav and as such the natural expression for that feeling when we experience that as we should is to turn to Hakadosh Baruch Hu bitfillah. Closely related or perhaps just the other side of that coin of the vulnerability and absolute dependence is the awareness of the fragility of life. Now that's not supposed to engender within us any sense of depression or morbidity but it is supposed to engender within us a sense for yakrus hazman, a sense for the value of time. There's a remarkable comment from the Chofetz Chaim that the Torah has in those who are chozer me'orchei hamilchama. So

מי האיש אשר נטע כרם ולא חללו, ארש אשה ולא לקחה,

so one of those who's chozer me'orchei hamilchama is

מי האיש אשר בנה בית ולא חנכו ילך וישוב לביתו פן ימות במלחמה ואיש אחר יחנכנו,

something like that. So what's the rationale? So the rationale seems pretty straightforward that here the person invested so much time and energy into building this house. So how can it be that it's going to all go to waste? So what's the shiur of a house to qualify for being chozer me'orchei hamilchama? So the Gemara tells us that the shiur of the house is that it has to be ארבע אמות על ארבע אמות, which according to larger shiurim is eight feet by eight feet. So how long did it take him to build this mansion of ארבע אמות על ארבע אמות? I don't know, an hour, maybe if he was a little bit makpid on some of the trimmings in his ארבע אמות על ארבע אמות house. Maybe it took him an hour and a half or an hour and forty-five minutes. And the Torah says it can't be, it can't be that this is simply going to go to waste and that that time it will turn out a person spent an hour building a house and then never lived in this house. So an hour of his life would have been wasted. The Chofetz Chaim's comment on yakrus hazman and again the sense of fragility of life, of not taking life for granted is not one which is supposed to arouse within us any morbidity but it should galvanize us to recognize the value of every second of life. Maybe just to take a few minutes to reflect a little bit on the second association of the title Ruchniyus in Turbulent Times. Another area of turbulence is that we live in times which are very turbulent spiritually. We live in very confused times spiritually, morally. As we know the saying, no man is an island. I don't know if anyone, maybe there are some yechidim, probably there are some yechidim, yechidei segulah. But most of us, there are yechidei segulah, but most of us are not entirely insulated from the broader world around us and its values, its confusion poses a challenge to us because we are exposed to it and we are very susceptible to unconsciously absorbing things via osmosis. Now at first glance the contrast would seem to be just so great and so Draconian between the confused world around us and Torah values that if anything the more shocking and the more glaring the difference is, so the easier it becomes not to be influenced, not to be affected. And that is true, there is a lot of truth to that. But אף על פי כן, אף על פי כן. One of the most fundamental differences which separate us from say the Western world which envelops us is that a Jew's orientation is to Olam Haba and the Western world's orientation, whatever professions of faith there are notwithstanding, is to Olam Hazeh. When they commission these polls to find out how much of the public believe in Hakadosh Baruch Hu and you get these overwhelming numbers, למעשה הקדוש ברוך הוא is there not to frame their life, not to interfere with their lives but just to ensure that when the time comes they are given a guarantee of eternal life and that they're able to transcend mortality. Hakadosh Baruch Hu's not there to define their lives in terms of Avodas Hashem. The Western world is very, very much oriented towards Olam Hazeh. Obviously, that's not our approach.

התקן עצמך בפרוזדור כדי שתכנס לטרקלין. היום לעשותם ומחר לקבל שכרם.

We're oriented towards Olam Haba. And again, the difference is so sharp and so glaring. Of course, no Ben Torah embraces that Olam Hazeh orientation of the Western world. But the question that perhaps is worth asking is has it somehow or other infiltrated our world view that instead of being solely and purely oriented towards Olam Haba, we graft the two and we've created a hybrid between the two of both Olam Hazeh and Olam Haba. Chovos HaLevavos writes that the truth is that love of Olam Hazeh and love of Olam Haba can no more coexist, he says, than water and fire. The same way water and fire can't coexist, so too Ahavas Olam Hazeh and again Ahavas Olam Hazeh not the Vilna Gaon's Olam Hazeh as Hayom la'asosam, but Ahavas Olam Hazeh in terms of its comforts, its pleasures, the mundane and the transient and the ephemeral. Ahavas Olam Hazeh and Ahavas Olam Haba can no more coexist than fire. So the question is to what extent do we try to, as the Yiddish phrase goes, טאנץ אויף צוויי חתונות. Do we again, Yisrael Kedoshim hem, avada avada that orientation towards Olam Haba is part of our world view. But does it dominate? Does it exclusively dominate our world view, or has our world view again been colored and been to a degree adulterated by the spiritual turbulence that surrounds us? Maybe to, I don't want to be maarich, but perhaps to give one or two other examples and תן לחכם ויחכם עוד בבחינת אידך זיל גמור of perhaps again where the question is worth asking whether our notions, whether our hasagas have been affected, infected by the turbulence around us. It's part of the dream of the Western world to be able to live a life of comfort, of leisure, of not working hard. We obviously believe that Adam l'amal yulad. We obviously believe that היום קצר והמלאכה מרובה uba'al habayis dochek. Question is another core aspect of our hashkafos olam that the Rambam writes in פרק ג הלכות דעות that

צריך אדם לכוין את כל מעשיו לדעת השם יתברך בלבד.

There should be one sole, exclusive, overarching goal and principle according to which a person calculates, calibrates. brates and orients everything he does, and that's Yedi'as Hashem, Kirvas Elokim. Everything should be measured how I earn my parnassah, what neighborhood I live in, whom I marry, every, everything else should be calculated, calibrated and oriented towards that goal. Everything is supposed to have been calibrated, integrated towards working towards, striving towards that goal. Avodas Hashem is supposed to be something all-inclusive, the Rambam says that's what Chazal meant בכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים and that's what Shlomo Hamelech meant בכל דרכיך דעהו והוא יישר ארחותיך. In the Western world, so one makes time in one's life for religion. It's one element, it's one dimension of life. There's career, there's family, different, different elements, and one of them is also you have to, you have to give Hakadosh Baruch Hu his due also. There's no notion of it being something which is all-encompassing. And here too, again, baruch Hashem, Yisrael kedoshim hem, baruch Hashem not chas v'shalom that, that any of us embrace, again, the, the confused hashkafos olam of the world around us lock, stock and barrel, but the question is whether to any degree it has adulterated our hashkafos about, our Torah hashkafos, whether it's again begadol the Olam Haba orientation, the hard work, the all-encompassing nature of Avodas Hashem. It's not, it's not a mindset of I, I went to the Daf this morning, I'm going to go to the Rav's shiur Shabbos afternoon an hour before Mincha, so I have Torah's in my, Torah's in my life, so now I can make time for, for other things. Okay, we are supposed to strike a balance between Torah and Tefillah and mitzvos and ma'asim tovim and, and obligations to family vechulu vechulu. But the point is that all of that is measured by a yardstick of Avodas Hashem. Avodas Hashem is supposed to be something which is absolutely twenty-four, twenty-four seven. It's not the conception of religion which the world around us has. And again, everyone is, is susceptible and most of us have probably already absorbed something unconsciously through osmosis in terms of these antithetical positions of the world around us. And it's also something in terms of looking to pursue ruchnius in, in turbulent times, it's a question worth asking to what extent our Torah ideals and goals have already been lowered and have already been adulterated because of these influences. Because everyone agrees that there's always going to be a correlation between where one sets the goal and what one achieves. Even if one doesn't, if you aim for a hundred on the test, you may or may not get a hundred, but it's clear that if you only aim for a ninety, that you're going to get less than, than if you would have aimed for a hundred. So the question is where our hasagos are, whether or not even our hasagos have been adulterated, have been lowered by this exposure. Thank you very much.