Gittin daf 36 – v’ohavav (Dor L’dor)

So let's go ahead at the bottom of פ"ח עמוד ב' of eighty-eight.

תנו רבנן הנעלבין ואינן עולבין שומעין חרפתן ואינן משיבין עושין מאהבה ושמחין ביסורין עליהם הכתוב אומר ואוהביו כצאת השמש בגבורתו.

So people who display these midos are described as ohavai Hashem. ואוהביו כצאת השמש בגבורתו. They're described as ohavai Hashem. So maybe the bulk of the time from now until the end of the year will be spent on the Rambam, but maybe just one very brief he'ara in terms of the Maharsha. The Maharsha comments

וכל שיש בו אלו המדות כולן הוא בכלל אוהב ה' דהנעלבים כו' ושומעין כו' הוא בודאי אהוב לבריות.

Right? Someone who doesn't respond tit for tat, someone who keeps silent, silent even in the face of bizyonos, הוא בודאי אהוב לבריות. Certainly people will appreciate that mida. וכל האהוב לבריות הוא אהוב לשמים. But isn't the Maharsha confusing two things here? The Braysa is talking about who are ohavai Hashem. The Maharsha is talking about who is ahuv to Hashem. Ela mai, it's clear what the Maharsha, he's not even telling it to us, I think it's such a davar pashut to him that he doesn't bother spelling it out, is that a person can't, it's a sine qua non for being an ohev Hashem that a person should act in such a way that he's ahuv lashamayim. A person can't, a person can't claim or aspire to being an ohev Hashem if he's not ahuv to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So mimeila, that's what the Maharsha says, yes, that נעלבים ואינן עולבין שומעין חרפתן ואינן משיבין reflect whether a person is ahuv la-Hashem, but that is indispensable and an integral part of his being genuinely an ohev Hashem. The Rambam quotes our gemara, I don't know, I'm not sure why it's not in the Ein Mishpat here. Ein Mishpat gives a different mareh makom, but the mareh makom which is really where the Rambam has the gemara completely, the Rambam has here in Perek Beis, Halacha Gimmel of Hilchos De'os. The Rambam says

ודרך הצדיקים הן עלובין ואינן עולבין שומעין חרפתן ואינן משיבין עושין מאהבה ושמחין ביסורין עליהם הכתוב אומר ואוהביו כצאת השמש בגבורתו.

What's the relevance here in Hilchos De'os? So lichora, the relevance is as follows. Right? The immediate antecedent here within the Rambam is that the Rambam's talking about how kaas is the second of the two exceptions where a person is supposed to go to an extreme and never, ever get angry. And the practical application of that is, and again, this is the immediate antecedent to where he quotes our gemara, is

לפיכך צוו להתרחק מן הכעס עד שינהיג עצמו שלא ירגיש אפילו לדברים המכעיסים.

So the Rambam is talking about this mida, shelo yargish, this mida of not being provoked, of not losing one's equanimity, of being... Able to maintain complete and total composure, so that clearly is the segue to now נעלבין ואינן עולבין שומעין חרפתן ואינן משיבין. That that such individuals they exhibit and exemplify that mida. That takeh not provoked. They're not provoked, they don't respond in kind, and what's more again, even the hi madregah is they don't they don't respond at all. So that's clearly the connection why the Rambam's quoting it. Why does the Rambam quote the whole ma'amar? So you'll say I mean are you going to edit Chazal? I mean either quote the ma'amar or don't quote the ma'amar. But lema'aseh the Rambam quotes this gemara in a few places and there he takeh just does just select what's relevant in context. So if you go back for instance to the end of perek hey in Yesodei HaTorah where the Rambam is talking about the third of the three types of Kiddush Hashem and Chilul Hashem. The first being when there's a chiyuv of yehareg ve'al ya'avor. A person who fulfills that that chiyuv of mesirut nefesh so then הרי הוא קידוש השם, rachmana litzlan he doesn't, הרי הוא חילול השם. Category number two of Kiddush Hashem and Chilul Hashem is when a person does something for no ulterior motive whatsoever. He does a he fulfills a mitzvah for no ulterior motive just because of Hakadosh Baruch Hu it's a Kiddush Hashem. He does an aveira for no ulterior motive so then rachmana litzlan that it's a it's a Chilul Hashem. And category number three is when you have a person who's an אדם גדול בתורה מפורסם בחסידות when he acts in in such a way that provokes criticism he creates a Chilul Hashem. When he commands respect, admiration, and even adulation so then that that's a Kiddush Hashem. So in that context the Rambam says

וכן אם דקדק החכם על עצמו והיה דבורו בנחת עם הבריות

v'da'ato me'urevet imahem

ומקבלן בסבר פנים יפות ונעלב מהן ואינו עולב מכבד להן ואפילו למקילין לו

etcetera. So where'd he get נעלב מהן ואינו עולב? So this is one of the rare cases that we know even before we look in the Kesef Mishneh. But the Kesef Mishneh tells us that that's our gemara, right? Ne'elavim ve'einam olvim. So the Rambam doesn't quote the whole ma'amar. The whole ma'amar isn't relevant in context so he selected he selected from the ma'amar that which is which is relevant. He has our gemara again at the end of Hilchot Talmud Torah. The Rambam writes it's the final halacha in Hilchot Talmud Torah. אף על פי שיש רשות לחכם לנדות לכבודו. If if someone disrespected a talmid chacham so the talmid chacham has a right to impose niduy, a form of excommunication on him. Says the Rambam אינו שבח לתלמיד חכם להנהיג עצמו בדבר זה. It's not it's not something that that really reflects well on the talmid chacham if he if he does that.

אלא מעלים אזנו מדברי עמי הארץ ולא ישית לבו להם.

He should he should just ignore it. It should be water on like water off the duck's back.

כענין שאמר שלמה בחכמתו גם לכל הדברים אשר ידברו אל תתן לבך.

Don't pay intense don't pay any any any attention to to the noise.

וכן היה דרך חסידים הראשונים שומעין חרפתן ואינן משיבין. ולא עוד אלא שמוחלין למחרף וסולחין לו

etcetera. But again he doesn't proceed to to quote the rest of the ma'amar. Okay so the Rambam quotes that part of the ma'amar which is relevant in context. So that being the case so when the Rambam does in perek bet of De'ot Halacha Gimel when he does quote our gemara and and here he does quote it in its entirety but lich'ora the connection is only the first two the first two elements of the braisa of the נעלבין ואינן עולבין שומעין חרפתן ואינן משיבין. So that's the that's the question rabosai. Now it's clear that the peshat in the braisa is the braisa's not just listing four sort of separate midos but the braisa is describing a progression. How do we know that? Because otherwise ne'elavim ve'einam olvim it's bichlal masay u'manya. Ne'elavim ve'einam olvim is certainly included He doesn't, he doesn't respond in kind. But he may push back and say, you know, like, what are you dumping on me for? What are you... he may, he may, he may register some form of legitimate protest, albeit without, without being insulting in return. Mash'ein kein השומע חרפתו ואינו משיב, so he remains silent. So it's, so it's clear that that mido encompasses and goes beyond the mido of ne'elavin ve'einan olvin, which is why the pashtus is that the pshat in the braisa is that we're not listing sort of four just disparate, four discrete midos that characterize אוהבי השם ואוהביו כצאת השמש בגבורתו, but what we're talking about is a progression. It begins, a person begins, the first stage of the progression is ne'elavin ve'einam olvin. From there a person can then go to the next level. He can take it to yet a higher level of not just, not just having the, the restraint and the healthy detachment not to be maaliv in return, but to be completely detached from and recognizing that the insult ultimately means nothing. So much so that he's not only einan olvin, but he's even שומע חרפתו ואינו משיב. And the, the progress is double. It's not only in terms of the contrast between eino olev as opposed to ein meishiv, but cherpa is something which is more intense than elbon. Right? Elbon is, I don't know, elbon is, ich veis, an insult or something. Cherpa is, is to be disgraced. It's not just to be insulted, it's to be disgraced, it's to be, it's to be humiliated. So not only does he have the mida now of being eino meishiv at all, but he has that mida not only in response to being ne'elav, but he's able to display that, that mida even in response to shomeach cherpaso. I'm just confused, I mean, if he's not olev, if he's not insulted, so why would he respond? I mean... No, so the first person, I think the first person, he is bothered by it, but he has the restraint and he has his own, you know, standards of behavior, you know, such that he won't respond in kind. But he is bothered by it. Doesn't einan olvin mean that, doesn't einan olvin mean he's not insulted? No, I think Rashi says אין עולב את אחרים. I think Rashi says אין עולב את אחרים. Why it's olev and not maaliv, I don't know, I think that, that's what is, that's the source of confusion. I'm not sure why it is, but that's what Rashi says ein olev means es acherim. So how does the progression continue though? Given that clearly from one to two, from ne'elavin ve'einam olvin to שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים, again we're not talking about two distinct, unrelated elements, we're talking about a progression. That, that a person progresses from being ne'elavin ve'einam olvin, no, it does bother him, but okay, the fact that it bothers him doesn't mean that he should lower himself to that, you know, and get down in the dirt and, and respond in kind. And the eino meishiv, no, the eino meishiv has clearly gone beyond that to yet a higher, a higher madreiga. So given that what we're talking about is a progression, so how, how do we carry that through the braisa beyond שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים? The last halacha in Hilchos Teshuva yud vav:

דבר ידוע וברור שאין אהבת הקדוש ברוך הוא נקשרת בלבו של אדם עד שישגה בה תמיד כראוי ויעזוב כל שבעולם חוץ ממנו.

Rambam says it's self-evident, it's so obvious that for a person to really, really pursue and cultivate ahavas Hashem, he has to have a single-minded focus. ויעזוב כל שבעולם חוץ ממנו. He can't have any totally independent attachments or preoccupations. And again, pursuing ahavas Hashem itself is something which will express itself in many ways. He's going to learn, he's going to daven, he's going to do chesed, he's going to interact with people. That itself is going to express itself in a variety of fashion, but ultimately everything issues forth from this single-minded focus and end goal. ויעזוב כל שבעולם חוץ ממנו. That's what it means בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך. It means that there's this detachment from anything which doesn't on any level link up with avodas Hashem, with yedias Hashem, with ahavas Hashem. Agav, the Rambam's description in Perek Gimmel of Hilchos Talmud Torah about הרוצה לזכות בכתר של תורה, there are sort of intentional parallels in that again same single-minded focus and healthy intensity.

מי שנשאו לבו לקיים מצוה זו כראוי ויהיה מוכתר בכתר של תורה ג' ו' לא יסיח דעתו לדברים אחרים.

He can't be distracted. ולא ישים על לבו, he shouldn't think, שיקנה תורה עם העושר והכבוד כאחד. I can pursue prestige, wealth alongside my pursuit of Torah. So lechora the pshat is as follows: If a person cultivates—and I'm saying it, I don't mean to be saying it glibly, it's obviously a tremendous avodah, it's a lifetime avodah—a person cultivates the middah of הנעלבים ואינם עולבים שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים, so he's positioned. How is a person שומע חרפתו ואינו משיב? The person is disgraced, at least objectively, the cherpah, that he has disgrace hurled at him. He has disgrace hurled at him and again let's say where there's no, again he doesn't need to respond for some any reason other than his own ego, that's the hypothetical case that the braisa is describing, and the person doesn't respond, doesn't respond. I think the—who says?—the Rambam says in Hilchos Tumas Tzara'as when the Torah intersperses

והאיש משה ענו מאד מכל האדם אשר על פני האדמה

is that Moshe Rabbeinu wasn't makpid at all on what Miriam and Aharon had said. It didn't bother him, ki hu zeh? So what? So they criticized me. Right, so what? So they criticized me wrongly. So what? What's that got to do with—does that affect my davening? Does that affect my learning? Does that affect my tzorchei tzibbur? So what? He wasn't makpid, he wasn't makpid, ki hu zeh. That sense of, again, healthy detachment really is the beginning of what the Rambam was describing at the end of Perek Yud in Hilchos Teshuvah, ויעזוב כל מה שבעולם חוץ ממנו. And that's the progression, that's the progression from הנעלבים ואינם עולבים שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים, osim me-ahavah, because osim me-ahavah means—osim me-ahavah the Rambam says that a person who is oseh me-ahavah is

לומד לא מפני דבר שבעולם. העובד מאהבה עוסק בתורה ובמצוות לא מפני דבר בעולם.

This person, again. the fact that the disgrace was hurled at him, but if it's not affecting anything in terms of Torah, mitzvot, v'chulei, so what is it? It's nothing. It's davar b'olam. And he has removed himself from that. That's what the progression is. For a person can be koneh these middot, ne'elavim v'einam olavim, שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים, he's positioned to this incredible, incredible madregah of osim me'ahava. What's pshat in the smeichim b'yisurin? So the mishna says here in Horayot nun dalet in Brachot

חייב אדם לברך על הרעה כשם שמברך על הטובה שנאמר ואהבת את ה' אלהיך בכל לבבך

skipping

דבר אחר בכל מאדך בכל מדה ומדה שהוא מודד לך הוי מודה לו.

So the mishna interprets b'chol me'odecha as b'chol midah umidah. Regardless of what measure Hakadosh Baruch Hu apportions to a person, the person should thank Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Regardless of what that measure, whatever that midah literally is a measurement. A person's middot are the measurement of a person. בכל מדה ומדה שהוא מודד לך הוי מודה לו. So the Rambam quotes the mishna, if you had a chance to see in perek yud of Hilchot Brachot

שמע שמועה טובה מברך ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם הטוב והמטיב שמע שמועה רעה רחמנא לצלן מברך ברוך אתה ה' אלהינו מלך העולם דיין האמת וחייב אדם לברך על הרעה בטובת נפש כדרך שמברך על הטובה בשמחה שנאמר ואהבת את ה' אלהיך בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך ובכל מאדך ובכלל אהבה זו היתירה שנצטווינו בה שאפילו בעת שיצר לו יודה וישבח בשמחה.

Rambam says part of this, again, without any negative association, part of this extreme ahavah in which we're commanded is that even when we're experiencing something which is oppressive, a person should praise Hakadosh Baruch Hu, should thank and praise Hakadosh Baruch Hu joyously. yodeh vishabei'ach b'simcha. So what's clear from the Rambam, the Rambam characterizes the ahavah she'nitzvinu as ahavah yeseirah. Again, and an extreme ahavah. Where does he get that from? So it's clear. Rambam actually says this in, I mean it's reflected in many places, but where he says it explicitly is in the Perush HaMishnayot on the mishna of מאוד מאוד הוי שפל רוח in Avot. Rambam says that what the word me'od means is much, right? Harbei me'od, very much, right? Tov me'od, very good. It me'od has that sense of haflaga, of much. So b'chol me'odecha means that's where ahavah yeseirah is written in the pasuk, the fact that it's b'chol me'odecha, with all literally with all your muchness. No matter what, that ahavah yeseirah, this almost or drop the almost, this unbounded, this ahavah mufleget, that's what me'od means. So it expresses itself that אפילו בעת שיצר לו יודה וישבח בשמחה. Not only that the person doesn't have complaints, not only that the person doesn't have a grievance, but no, that's not enough, but a person should be modeh umshabei'ach b'simcha. So l'chora it's clear, right? And that's the pshat in our braisa, right? So ne'elavim v'einam olavim segues to שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים. שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים, as we just discussed, segues to osim me'ahava and... What's the ahava yeseira, what's the what's the gvul ha'ahava, what's the outer boundary of ahavas Hashem is אפילו בכל שיצא לו, is yodeh v'ishabeach b'simcha, so that's what the Braisa says, and then what's more, he graduates from there, the progression continues, that the osin me'ahava, again, there are different dargos within ahava, the osin me'ahava and he graduates all the way to that madrega of of smeichin b'yisurin. Rav Wolbe wrote a little volume where he has a profile of Rav Yerucham, right? The Mashgiach from from the Mirrer Yeshiva before the war. And he describes that when Rav Yerucham was sick with his terminal illness, I think it was some kind of cancer, rachmana litzlan, so he he suffered, he suffered very much during that last period of his life and people used to overhear him, he didn't intend this to be heard, but people overheard him saying thank you to HaKadosh Baruch Hu for the yisurim. טאטע איך דאנק אייך פאר די יסורים. That's what Rav Yerucham was was overheard. That's that's the Mishna's din, that's what the Rambam is saying, and that's what it means, the highest madrega then within the osin me'ahava is that they're even smeichin b'yisurin. So that's the pshat in the Braisa. Now, why does the Rambam quote the Braisa b'shleimuso in ב ג הלכות דעות? Again, lichora we only see the connection to hane'elavim v'einam olvin, שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים, because that, again, is directly connects to the lo yirgaz which the Rambam was talking about in terms of avoiding ka'as. So the person lo yirgaz. The lo yirgaz is the mida of the hane'elavim v'einam olvin and even more so of שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים. Why did he quote the entire? So here, not to review the the whole mahalach, but we discussed in the Hilchos De'os shiurim that practically, phenomenologically, so the way the mitzvah of v'halachta bidrachav sort of expresses itself is through the derech ha'beinonis, the derech hayeshara. But we saw that that doesn't really capture the the essence of the mitzvah even though that is by and large the practical expression of the mitzvah but it doesn't really capture what the essence of the mitzvah is. And and where we saw this indicator was the following: right in פרק ג הלכות דעות, so in halacha, so the first two perakim in Hilchos De'os plus פרק ג הלכה א are all about the mida beinonis. And then the Rambam shifts in Gimmel Beis to talking about וכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים. And it's just so strange seemingly, in in more than one respect. Number one, how is this relevant to Hilchos De'os? Why all of a sudden is the Rambam interjecting this in the Hilchos De'os? If for some reason the Rambam wants to put them in Hilchos De'os, so then the more logical breakdown of perakim was that Halacha Aleph of Perek Gimmel should have been appended to the first two perakim where the Rambam was talking about mida beinonis and then a new perek should have been about a new topic of וכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים. Then we saw also that the Rambam in פרק ד הלכה א, ho'il v'heyos or והיות הגוף בריא ושלם מדרכי השם הוא, to be healthy is part of the mitzvah of v'halachta bidrachav. Why is that? So we would have thought that the Rambam will say because healthy behavior is moderate behavior, moderate behavior is healthy. That's that's the reason we're expecting, but life is full of surprises. That's not what the Rambam says. The Rambam continues and says שהרי אי אפשר שיבין או ידע והוא חולה. If a person is sick and and is beset with pain, he can't concentrate. To the same degree, a person can't marshal the same powers of concentration, rachmana litzlan, when he's sick, when he doesn't feel well, if his body is racked with pain as when he's when he's healthy and and in robust health. But what's yavin o yeda got to do with the mitzvah of v'halachta bidrachav? So it's clear that for the Rambam, again, we discussed this. vehalachta bidrachav ultimately means that the alternative vehalachta bidrachav is that a person just sort of responds to and in a certain way in a certain sense is enslaved to whatever character traits he sort of naturally has. If he's a ba'al kaas so he's gonna be enslaved to that midah of kaas and if he's a ba'al taiva he's gonna be enslaved to that midah of taiva etc. And the midas beinoniness this means that instead of a person's midos being sholeit over him, he's sholeit over the midos. And that's the way he's able to blend typically between the two because he's sholeit over the midos rather than the midos being sholeit over him. He's sholeit over the midos and then what does drive his behavior? So when he eats he's not driven by taiva. He's not responding to taiva. Okay and when he goes to work and he calibrates how much money he's looking to earn so he's not being driven by his desire for wealth. So what does make him tick? So vehalachta bidrachav sort of removed one engine. So what engine comes in its place is that no is that everything he does is l'shem shamayim. Everything he does is for the purpose of yedias Hashem. So that the yedias Hashem and the mitzvah of vehalachta bidrachav and

וכל מעשיך יהיו לשם שמים שצריך האדם לכוין מעשיו כולן כל מעשיו כולן כדי לדעת את השם ברוך הוא בלבד

those two are inextricably intertwined. Well so now how gevaldig. Again we asked when appropriate the Rambam doesn't quote a maimar chazal bishleimuso. He'll quote the part of the maimar that's relevant in context.

עיין פרק ג מהלכות דעות עיין סוף הלכות תלמוד תורה.

Yet here the Rambam quotes our maimar bishleimuso even though seemingly the connection the connecting points are the הנעלבים ואינם עולבים שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים. No but heyos that the whole hilchos deios again is about the vehalachta bidrachav ultimately the vehalachta bidrachav is the essence of the mitzvah is not the moderate behavior per se. It's moderate behavior in the sense that a person is in control of himself so that he can direct what he does appropriately and what is that goal to which he's supposed to direct?

שצריך האדם שיכוין כל מעשיו כולן כדי לדעת השם ברוך הוא בלבד.

That's what is reflected again that

הואיל והיות הגוף בריא ושלם מדרכי השם שאי אפשר שיבין או ידע והוא חולה.

So that's what the ohev Hashem is also doing. Right?

מיד הוא אוהב ומשבח ומפאר ומתאוה תאוה גדולה לדעת השם ברוך הוא בלבד.

So mi-mela the entire maimar is מעניינו של הלכות דעות. It's not just the הנעלבים ואינם עולבים שומעים חרפתם ואינם משיבים it's the entire maimar. Okay and we'll stop here.