Feeling Tza’ar of Others; Current situation in Eretz Yisrael

We become aware of our shortcomings. The ideal way is that that a person proactively makes a cheshbon hanefesh and realizes that that he's deficient in a certain area, that he needs that he needs to improve in a certain area without any external stimulus or challenge. But sometimes, a lot of the time, one of our deficiencies is in that area of being proactive and making a cheshbon hanefesh. So in the Ribbono Shel Olam's world there are other ways that that we can become aware of our shortcomings. There is a tradition from the Baal Shem Tov that that when a person sees in another person, crosses paths with another person, and that person exhibits a certain midah ra'ah, that the Ribbono Shel Olam orchestrated that encounter, that crossing of paths, so that the person should recognize that shortcoming within himself. It's much easier to to see chesronos in other people than in oneself. So when I cross paths with with someone who's exhibiting different people exhibiting different chesronos, so that's the Ribbono Shel Olam's way of getting me to focus on those shortcomings because they're relevant to me. And then another method the Ribbono Shel Olam has for pointing out our shortcomings, or another occasion or context in which we become aware, is not necessarily because we see it in someone else, but we're challenged. And and then it doesn't take too much self-awareness to recognize when we come up short. Someone comes over in the beis medrash and asks where a pasuk is, where a mishnah is. It doesn't take too much self-awareness to to get the message when they want to know where the pasuk is and we didn't know there's such a pasuk. So in that last vein, I just want to reflect aloud in in case it's relevant to others as well on on the challenge and and the painful awareness of of deficiency which which is imposed by the current eis tzarah in Eretz Yisrael. We all know what our reaction is supposed to be. We know that even vis-a-vis yechidim a person is supposed to be נושא בעול עם חבירו from Perek Kinyan Torah and and that chiyuv is is multiplied and magnified when when we're talking about an ol or or a tza'ar not not of a yachid or yechidim but but of the tzibbur. The braisa in maseches yevamos tannu rabbanan.

גר שבא להתגייר בזמן הזה אומרים לו מה ראית שבאת להתגייר אי אתה יודע שישראל בזמן הזה דוויים דחופים סחופים ומטורפים

veyisurin bo'im aleihem אם אומר יודע אני ואיני כדאי mekablin oso miyad

ואיני כדאי ואיני ראוי להשתתף בצרתם ומי יתן ואזכה לכך.

So this is remarkable. Before we we talk to the the prospective geir, before we talk to the the candidate for geirus and we ask him what he believes, what he doesn't believe, are his beliefs in line with our ikrei emunah? Before we before we inform him, before we check to see if he has some sense for mitzvos kalos, mitzvos chamuros, schar va-onesh, so the first thing, the first thing we want to know is whether or not he's ready to identify with the Jewish people. The first thing we want to know is whether he thinks of geirus as just an enhanced and intensified relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, or whether he recognizes that avada that's geirus includes that, or whether he recognizes that geirus means joining Klal Yisrael and being mishtatef bitzarasan, not that I too as a yachid will have to pay the same price as the other yechidim, but being mishtatef bitzarasan. So to be Jewish means to be mishtatef bitzarasan. That's what it means to be a Jew. Tanu Rabbanan:

בזמן שישראל שרויים בצער ופירש אחד מהם באין שני מלאכי השרת שמלווין לו לאדם ומניחים ידיהן על ראשו ואומרים פלוני זה שפירש מן הציבור אל יראה בנחמת הציבור אלא

skipping יצער אדם עם הציבור skipping again וכל המצער עצמו עם הציבור זוכה ורואה בנחמת הציבור. Even if geographically one is removed from the tza'ar, a person has to be מצער עצמו עם הציבור. Or on this Gemara in Taanis, the Mesivta gives a mareh makom to Rav Wolbe, has a very beautiful discussion. Among other things he focuses on the Rashi in Parshas Shemos: ויהי בימים ההם the pasuk says

ויגדל משה ויצא אל אחיו וירא בסבלותם נתן עיניו ולבו להיות מצר עליהם.

Apparently the sense of identification requires effort. מי גדול לנו כמשה רבינו. And he felt that as long as he was ensconced in the palace he couldn't have the same degree of empathy and identification as if he went out and saw. Nasan einav. And even then it requires a nasan libo to think and reflect about the implications of what one sees. Sometimes we can see something, be aware of something, but not necessarily take the time, not necessarily be noseim lev to appreciate just what the implications are. So we can hear a statistic of how in the course of a day how many hundreds of missiles are fired. Okay and we hear it. So that's sort of nasan einav. That's the equivalent of nasan einav, the awareness of that statistic. And the statistic itself makes a certain impact upon us. But the nasan libo means to stop and think the disruption of life that every single missile and every single air raid siren causes. The fright, the trauma for young children whose sense of security is just totally breached. So that's nasan libo. That's what Rav Wolbe talks about, it requires hisbonenus. Again, just the mere nasan einav accomplishes something, but without the follow-up of nasan libo it doesn't accomplish nearly enough. Even Moshe Rabbeinu needed to engage in an avodah of being metzar aleihem. Even Moshe Rabbeinu it wasn't just purely instinctive, just hearing it without nasan einav valibv, even Moshe Rabbeinu didn't feel that he was having the degree of lihyos metzar aleihem which he felt he should attain. Obviously he had a degree without vayeitzei el echav which we probably can't conceive of, which we can't dream of. But even for him it meant engaging in an avodah of nasan einav valibv. So when the Beis Medrash and someone asks pshat na posuk and a Mishnah, so we know where that points us. And we know more or less what we have to do to address it. And if we find ourselves too detached and not sufficiently empathetic, so certainly one direction in which we're pointed is to be נותן עיניים ולב להיות מצר. To engage in this avodah of Of being aware of what's happening and reflecting on the implications and the consequences. The Wolbe's emphasis on hisbonenus is just so true and so fundamental. The same thing in, not to equate on any other level but in terms of illustrating the theme, nosan einov is, we can be aware that people were or are without power. We can be aware of that. That's nosan einov and that again it makes an imprint, it makes an impact. Just the nosan einov. But the nosan libo is to think, so what does it mean for an elderly person who lives on the 12th floor and isn't capable of walking 11 flights of stairs? What does it mean to be without power? That requires a nosan libo. So this hadracha of nosan einov valibo, well what about shelo be'eis tzara? What about let's say a person wants to be working on this middah without rachmana litzlan reflecting on the significance of having air raid sirens constantly sound? So that question warrants much, much fuller treatment than we're about to give it in the next couple of minutes. But just one or two initial thoughts. First of all, the emes is that we're always surrounded by circumstances of nosan einov valibo. There's always what to look at, even when baruch hashem things are not as dramatic as what's happening Eretz Yisroel now. There's always כי לא יחדל אביון מקרב הארץ. There's always poverty which really we should be נתן עיניים ולב להיות מיצר עליהם. And that's not the only type of adversity. Illness, who's unaware of illness? So the awareness sometimes is on the level of nosan einayim, but is it sufficiently on the level of nosan leiv? So the hadracha of to be nosen einayim valeiv isn't limited to the current eis tzara. It's it's perennially valid. Another area for to work on to try to cultivate a sensitivity, l'maiseh there's one thing that a person never needs a reminder of. It's possible to forget to get distracted from many, many things, but it's a very, very, very rare individual who forgets or is distracted from his own needs. Part of character development and again, and that's not, that Ribbono Shel Olam implanted that in the bria, right? That we're all familiar the Ramban Ve'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha. Ramban says it's al tzad ha-haflaga because a person's self-love is unequal, it's unequal. It's al tzad ha-haflaga or then alternately says maybe that's why it's l'reiacha not es reiacha because the Torah's takeh not challenging us to love others as we love ourselves because we love ourselves most of all. That's what the Ramban says. Given that reality of human nature, so how does one make that self-love as noble as possible? So the answer is look for instance at a parent. A parent because of the sense of identification with children because of all the effort and energy and time invested in children, so the self-love then spills over and envelops the children as well. And that's not the description of that as self-love is not a critique, adaraba. The self-love is a given, that's a noble fact, that's something very noble if that happens. When the self-love is restricted to oneself, that's selfish, but when one's sense of self is expanded to include others, so then the self-love becomes increasingly noble. Above and beyond continuing with the illustration of parental love for children, above and beyond whatever instinct HaKadosh Baruch Hu implanted within us, the love of parents for children deepens and intensifies the more parents are moser nefesh for children. Because that's the way HaKadosh Baruch Hu designed human nature that the more we're moser nefesh for someone, the deeper the bond, the greater the love is that we have for that person. There's a passage in Maseches Derech Eretz which is quoted that הרוצה שחברו יתאהב עליו, a person wants that his friend should become beloved to him. he should have a sense of love for his friend, so Maseches Derech Eretz says he should do for his friend. If I want the if I want to have a sense of ahava for Reuven, so then I have to do for Reuven, I have to be moser nefesh for Reuven. When we find ourselves distracted from the tzaros of others, it's because our sense of self is very constricted. Worst case scenario is my sense of self is me. Usually we're not that bad. Usually our sense of self includes parents, spouse, siblings, children, perhaps friends. But the broader that sense of self is, one isn't distracted from one's own tzora, one isn't distracted rachmana litzlan again from whoever is in one's orbit, whoever one's self-sense of self again includes, and that's noble, that's a noble description, it's not a it's not a critical description. So the same way the Maseches Derech Eretz says that that we draw people into that orbit, that we cultivate a love by doing for them, because the more you invest in someone, the more you create a bond, and the more then you have a natural sense of concern and identification and empathy, so lechora when we find ourselves in a situation and and if it's the case that that we feel inadequate in the mishtatef betzara, so maybe that points to that there isn't enough in our routine of doing for others, that there isn't enough in our routine of of broadening that sense of self ultimately that it should that there should be a sense of responsibility for every Yisrael baasher hu sham. The chiyuv to to do chesed is at least twofold. One is to see that the nitzrach receives the chesed that he needs. But another is mitzad tikkun hamiddos. Lechora the Gemara in Moed Katan quoted lehalacha that a mitzvah which is אפשר להיעשות על ידי אחרים a person shouldn't disrupt any learning for, only addresses the first mechayev of of the chesed needs to get done, the nitzrach needs to receive this help. But if we recognize deficiency in the mishtatef betzara, so then it doesn't depend on

אפשר להיעשות על ידי אחרים, אי אפשר להיעשות על ידי אחרים.

That's a chovas gavra. It's not it's not just that that the chesed needs to be done for for the nitzrach. No, it's that I need to to cultivate this quality. It doesn't it doesn't mean doesn't mean canceling canceling our zman that we have. It certainly doesn't mean that and and that's not the implication and and And I don't think it it means canceling classes or other other commitments and responsibilities one has either. But but it does mean it does mean asking whether or not within our schedules there's time within our priorities within our thinking is there a sensitivity to that I need to cultivate as per the Maseches Derech Eretz a sense of responsibility and connection for for others. It doesn't it's not it's not something which necessarily translates into major major time commitments necessarily. But it is something that if if if we find ourselves inadequate in responding in the current situation it means that there isn't enough of it in our schedules there isn't enough of it in our lives and that there's a need again as Rav Wolbe talks about based on the Rashi to be Nosei Einayim V'Lev and there's a need through actions to help develop and cultivate a sense of responsibility for a sense of identification with with our fellow Jews.