Centrality of Tzibbur; Chessed in Teshuva

Last week we spoke at some length about the centrality of Ahavas Yisrael and Chesed within Avodas Hashem and we suggested three perspectives, three considerations for why Chesed, for why Ahavas Yisrael is so central within Avodas Hashem. First of all, Olam Chesed Yibaneh, Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world through an act of Tzimtzum. Again, whatever that means on its ultimate level, it obviously shouldn't be understood in any literal sense, but one thing that it does convey to us on our level that we can relate to, that we can understand, is that as it were, Hakadosh Baruch Hu made room for us to exist. That the very act of Brias Haolam was an act of Chesed, Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Hakadosh Baruch Hu who's Ein Sof, that there shouldn't be, there shouldn't be anything else, Hakadosh Baruch Hu allows us to exist, Hakadosh Baruch Hu makes room for us. So the very foundation of Brias Haolam, the very foundation of our existence, the very foundation of our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu is Chesed and accordingly, we can't be Oved Hashem unless Chesed is present as a crucial component. That was one consideration. Second perspective on the centrality of Chesed within Avodas Hashem, ואתם תהיו לי ממלכת כהנים וגוי קדוש, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave the Torah not to Yechidim, not to an aggregate of Yechidim, but Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave it to Klal Yisrael as a whole. Then each and every one of us as part of that Klal Yisrael, as members of Klal Yisrael, so then mimaila the Torah relates to us. But Torah is given to Klal Yisrael and Torah again clearly is the context in which we relate to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. A person manifests his belonging to the klal, that shaychus to the klal is manifested through Ahavas Yisrael, through Chesed. And then the third, or maybe this is the other side of the coin of the second, we mentioned the Midrash in Bamidbar Rabbah where the Midrash comments on the pattern in the Briya. About how Hakadosh Baruch Hu created seven days of the week, one is singled out. Hakadosh Baruch Hu created a cycle of seven years, one year is singled out. Hakadosh Baruch Hu alongside the Shivim Umos Haolam, Hakadosh Baruch Hu singles out one nation and we suggested that the pshat in the Midrash is that all these ones in the Briya are intended to serve as a testimony to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to Hashem Echad. And that's what the pshat in the Shabbos Shmoneh Esrei to Mincha of

אתה אחד ושמך אחד ומי כעמך ישראל גוי אחד בארץ.

So how can one mention any other echad in the same breath with Hakadosh Baruch Hu's echad? אין יחידות כמוהו בשום פנים. So the answer is that that's not what we're suggesting, we're not Rachmana Litzlan equating the echad, but what we're saying, the presence of עמך ישראל גוי אחד בארץ is intended to serve as a testimony to אתה אחד ושמך אחד. And mimaila, even though on one level we certainly remain עמך ישראל גוי אחד בארץ on one level regardless of how we conduct ourselves, but if that עמך ישראל גוי אחד בארץ, if that עדות לכל באי עולם is going to be evident in the world, in the alma d'isgalyas, so then it requires that sense of achdus to be manifest in Klal Yisrael through Ahavas Yisrael, through Chesed. So I'd like to continue tonight on sort of two separate, to follow up on what we discussed last time in two separate ways. First of all, one self-contained, to discuss a little bit again the centrality of tzibur a little bit me'inyana d'yoma and then after that to speak specifically about Chesed and the role of Chesed within Teshuvah. So first, the again me'inyana d'yoma, the centrality of tzibur. Here a little bit just a little bit d'var Halacha as the background. The Rama in Shulchan Aruch discusses what happens Halacha L'maaseh if you have a person who's unable to be in shul on Rosh Hashanah. So he's not going to be in shul for Shofar for whatever reason. So assuming that he has the wherewithal to have a Baal Tokeia come to him and to blow whenever he wants, so what's the optimal time for him to schedule the Baal Tokeia to come? So the Rama says... schedule the baal tokeia to come the same time he would have heard tkias demeyushav in shul. So he has him come before Musaf. That's what the Rema, the Rema paskens. The Biur Hagra Shulchan Aruch is metzayen a Rashi in Rosh Hashanah ל״ד ע״ב where he says that Rashi is against that and in the Shulchan Aruch in the parentheses it says the Rema is based on a Kol Bo and and the Gra is metzayen that the Rashi in Rosh Hashanah ל״ד ע״ב says against that. That from Rashi in Rosh Hashanah is mashma that optimally the yachid should have the baal tokeia come to him after he davens Musaf. So what's pshat in the machlokes? And and why are we especially in shitas Rashi, why is Rashi sort of delaying the the tkias until until after Musaf? So Rav Sachs zecher tzaddik livracha explained as follows: The baraisa in in the Gemara, the Gemara and and then the Gemara quotes a baraisa in Rosh Hashanah ל״ד ע״ב says that only the tzibbur actually blow within the Shmoneh Esrei. That לא אמרו אלא בחבר עיר, that only only in only in shul with a minyan do we actually integrate tkias shofar into the Shmoneh Esrei proper. But a yachid doesn't do that. Yachid doesn't do that. So what's the pshat in that? So the Rema and the Kol Bo learn pshat that the kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות is only a kiyum be'tzibbur, that there is no kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות for a yachid. Only be'tzibbur do you have that kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות. Rashi le'umasam says no. The emes is that a yachid also has a kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות. But how does the tzibbur go about the kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות? So the way we do it is first you you say the Malchiyos, Zichronos, and Shofros as a hakdama. So then so then if you first say Malchiyos and then Malchiyos ve'tokeia, so then the Malchiyos reverberate in in the tkias shofar. But first you have to say the Malchiyos in order to hear the Malchiyos in the tkias shofar. Then Zichronos ve'tokeia. By first saying the Zichronos, so then the Zichronos reverberate in the tkias shofar. Hu hadin for pesukei Shofros. So Rashi says the emes is by a yachid you also have a kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות. Ella mai, there's a certain pattern. Whatever the pshat in this pattern is, let's say משל למה הדבר דומה. The same way in Yom Kippur, so in Chazaras Hashatz, so we integrate the viduy into the bracha of kedushas hayom, whereas the yachid can't integrate it into the into the body of the Shmoneh Esrei proper, he can only say it afterwards. So the same thing is here that be'emes the yachid also is supposed to coordinate the tkias with the seder habrachos. But the same way the yachid can't insert the viduy on Yom Kippur into the Shmoneh Esrei proper, he doesn't have the same license to to insert things into the body of the Shmoneh Esrei proper the way the tzibbur does. So ke'ein zeh, hu hadin, hu hatam, so the yachid also has this kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות, but with a yachid it plays out differently. It's not Malchiyos ve'tokeia, Zichronos ve'tokeia, Shofros ve'tokeia, but he says the entire Amida and then he's tokeia. So that's a yesod-dik machlokes Rishonim whether or not the kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות is is one which is limited to tzibbur which is the psak of the Rema or whether or not a yachid has it as well. If you take a look in the Rambam in Perek Gimmel of Hilchos Shofar, so the once one is sensitized to this issue, so you see it's basically mefurash a Rambam. Rambam says הציבור חייבין לשמוע תקיעות על סדר הברכות. So the Rambam is mefurash that the kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות is one which is reserved for tzibbur. And on the other side of the ledger, so Rav Sachs had a diyuk in the Baal HaMaor. He thought that the Baal HaMaor agrees with Rashi that there is a kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות for a yachid as well. Ad kan devarav. What's the pshat al derech aggada? Al derech halacha has a different understanding. But what's the pshat al derech aggada, al derech machshava that at least according to some Rishonim, according to the psak of the Rema, according to the Rambam, that there's only a kiyum of תקיעות על סדר הברכות be'tzibbur? After all the mitzvah of shofar which תקיעות על סדר הברכות is is maximizing, right? תקיעות על סדר הברכות is is the the optimal way to have tkias shofar, to have tkias shofar in the in the context, in the setting of Malchiyos, Zichronos, and Shofros. So that mitzvah, that mitzvah of tkias shofar is a mitzvah which is muteles on a yachid as well. The mitzvah of of saying psukei Malchiyos, Zichronos, and Shofros is also a mitzvah which is muteles on a yachid as well. So how is it that there's some kiyum which is reserved for a tzibur? That the kiyum of tkias ha-seder ha-berachos is reserved for a tzibur? So apparently even before we begin to understand, before we begin to define, the immediate implication is that somehow or other a full-blown Malchuyos you can only have be-tzibur. And mimailla so therefore we reserve, we reserve the full-blown the the the maximal kiyum can only happen be-tzibur, can only happen be-tzibur. Why? What's the pshat as follows? Imru lefanai Malchuyos, the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah tez-zayin with which we're all familiar,

אמרו לפני מלכויות כדי שתמליכוני עליכם זכרונות כדי שיעלה זכרונכם לפני ובמה בשופר.

So Malchuyos, Zichronos, and Shofros together with the shofar is to have Malchuyos, to have Malchuyos. Malchuyos is not only a mitzvas hayom of Rosh Hashanah, but Malchuyos is the tachlis of the entire bria. The Ramban writes in the Perush al haTorah that there's no other tachlis to the bria other than people recognizing HaKadosh Baruch Hu. In Adon Olam so we say

אדון עולם אשר מלך בטרם כל יציר נברא לעת נעשה בחפצו כל אזי מלך שמו נקרא.

So HaKadosh Baruch Hu again HaKadosh Baruch Hu doesn't change, but in terms of perception of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, in terms of recognition, in terms of understanding, so אזי מלך שמו נקרא. When the world was created, so then and only then was Melech shmo nikra. Only then was HaKadosh Baruch Hu called Melech. Only then was HaKadosh Baruch Hu recognized as Melech. So Malchuyos on Rosh Hashanah basically is to fulfill the tachlis of brias ha-olam, to fulfill the tachlis of אזי מלך שמו נקרא. There is a lashon again with which we're all familiar from the Rishonim that אין מלך בלא עם. A person can't be a Melech, okay, the right the saying in English notwithstanding that every whatever every man is king of his own castle but that's a little bit of wishful thinking there. He's not exactly king, he doesn't have a castle and he's not exactly king. For a person to be a Melech, so that's the lashon that we have from the Rishonim that אין מלך בלא עם. Malchuyos means that there's an am, that there's a nation, a nation over whom the Melech is sovereign. So that's why the difference between Malchuyos on Rosh Hashanah be-yachid and Malchuyos be-tzibur is not simply ברוב עם הדרת מלך, is not simply

אינו דומה מועטים העושים רצונו של מקום למרובים העושים רצונו של מקום,

but the emes is that a full-fledged Malchuyos, it's a totally different Malchuyos. The Malchuyos of a yachid is also important, is also important but the real Malchuyos requires tzibur. The real Malchuyos requires tzibur because of the אין מלך בלא עם. And again as we discussed last week wherever there's a din of tzibur so then a person has to actively belong to the tzibur and he has to manifest that shaychus to the tzibur. Okay, let's come now and discuss a little bit the role of chessed within teshuvah. How do we know that chessed has a role within teshuvah? So it's a pasuk in Mishlei בחסד ואמת יכופר עון. Rabbeinu Yonah in Shaarei Teshuvah in the ikar ha-shivah-asar in sha'ar rishon

לירדוף פעולות החסד והאמת כעניין שנאמר בחסד ואמת יכופר עון וביראת ה' סור מרע.

And then Rabbeinu Yonah says something amazing. Rabbeinu Yonah says hinei.

הנה החסד יגן בעד החוטא וישמור עליו מן הייסורין. ועוד יש עוון והוא עוון חילול השם שהתשובה וייסורין תולין ומיתה ממרקת. כמו שנאמר אם יכופר העוון הזה לכם עד תמותון.

So for chilul Hashem, teshuva can't affect full kapara, even yisurim can't affect full kapara. If a person does teshuva and then Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives him yisurim, so then that lets the person stay afloat, and ultimately misa is what cleanses, misa memarekes. Ve’hinei ka’asher ha’adam, he's going into a second point, but the first point is that Rabbeinu Yonah says that the ma'aseh chesed serves as some kind of substitute or equivalent for yisurim. Similarly the Gra writes in Mishlei on the pasuk:

ואמר שעל העבר בחסד ואמת יכופר שהוא גדול וטוב מכל הסיגופים לעסוק בתורה ובגמילות חסדים.

Greater than any kind of regimen of affliction to which a person could subject himself is to be לעסוק בתורה ובגמילות חסדים. So two questions. First of all, why is chesed important in the context of teshuva? Question number one. Question number two, what's this equivalency, this tradeoff between chesed and yisurim? Why is it that chesed can substitute for yisurim? So we're going to suggest three understandings again, three perspectives on the importance of chesed within teshuva, two of which will also perhaps account for how it is that chesed, gemilus chasadim can function as a substitute for yisurim. All teshuva begins with hakaras hachet. If a person doesn't recognize that he was chotei, so teshuva minayin? If there's no hakaras hachet, there's nothing to do teshuva for. On its most basic level, on its most simple level, so hakaras hachet means that a person is aware, rachmana litzlan, a person is aware he ate ma'achalos asuros, he spoke lashon hara, he was metaltel muktzeh Shabbos. Whatever the aveira rachmana litzlan may be. That's hakaras hachet on its most basic, on its most elementary level. On a deeper level, hakaras hachet means that a person understands the magnitude of chet. A person understands what it means to be chotei. A person understands that to be chotei is to betray Hakadosh Baruch Hu, is an act of me'ila. Hakadosh Baruch Hu created us, Hakadosh Baruch Hu sustains us, Hakadosh Baruch Hu sustains us for the purpose of being oved Hashem. When a person is chotei, it's not just a misdeed, it's not just that he did something wrong, but it contradicts, it betrays his very existence. The very tachlis and the very foundation of his existence is betrayed when a person is chotei. Hakaras hachet on a deeper level means to understand the musag of chet, what the musag of chet represents, and the real hakaras hachet automatically then translates into a charata. Here too Rabbeinu Yonah speaks about this, this sense of Having betrayed one's mission in life and having forfeited one's claim to life, if one is chotei, Hinei haborei—in the ha'ikar harishon and talking about

charata—הנה הבורא נפח באפו נשמת חיים חכמת לב וטובת שכל.

And for what purpose did Hakadosh Baruch Hu infuse that neshama, that chachma, that sechel into me?

להכירו וליראה מלפניו ולמשול בגוף וכל תולדותיו כאשר המשילו על שאר בעלי חיים שאינם מדברים מאשר יקר בעיניו נכבדה. ואחרי אשר בעבור זאת נבראתי,

so I was created for this purpose: lehakirow, to recognize Hakadosh Baruch Hu and uleyira lefanav, ויהי בי הפך מזה. And what I do contradicts this, it betrays that—lama li chayim? So that's what the real hakaras hachet, real hakaras hachet is not just to understand the Torah says לא תשא שם השם, Torah says don't talk lashon hara, I spoke lashon hara. Deeper than that: a person is created, a person's claim to life, a person's reason, his tachlis in life is lehakirow uleyira milifanav. A person fails in that, so then it's just a total betrayal, an undermining and contradiction of his very existence—lama li chayim?

ועוד כי כמשפט הבהמה לא עשיתי אבל שפלתי ממנה כי ידע שור קונהו וחמור אבוס בעליו ואני לא ידעתי ולא התבוננתי.

So that's the type of hakaras hachet that a person is supposed to have. A hakaras hachet not just of: it says in Sefer Hamitzvos, it says in Shulchan Aruch like this, and I did the opposite. But בעבור אשר בעבור זה נבראתי, lama li chayim? Now clearly, that type of hakaras hachet, that kind of profound, profound charata means that teshuva has to involve a sense of shiflus, a sense of hisbatlus. It's inconceivable if a person has, has an adequate and accurate sense of hakaras godel hachet, the magnitude of what any chet represents, it's impossible that this won't translate into a sense of shiflus, into a sense of hachna'ah, into a sense of hisbatlus. And again, this is one of another one of the ikarim of the Rabbeinu Yonah later here in sha'ar rishon.

העיקר השביעי הכניעה בכל לב והשפלות כי המכיר את בוראו ידע כמה העובר על דבריו שח ושפל וניגרע מערכו. ודוד עליו השלום בהתודותו על חטאו בבוא אליו נתן הנביא אמר בסוף דבריו זבחי אלקים רוח נשברה לב נשבר ונדכה אלקים לא תבזה. רוח נשברה רוח נמוכה. למדנו מזה כי ההכנעה מעיקרי התשובה.

So there can't be teshuva without a sense of hachna'ah, without a sense of hisbatlus, because the awareness of chet, the awareness that shaphalti mibeheima, the awareness of lama li chayim in light of this chet means that a person is then overcome with a sense of keni'ah, the sense of hisbatlus. Now here rabbosai is an important yesod. Relatively speaking, relatively speaking, it's easy—again in quotation marks—it's easy to have a sense of hisbatlus to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Of course, the hisbatlus is to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But when davening, it's easy to have a sense of hisbatlus. When we're learning, again, relatively speaking, it's easy for a person to be mevatel daato to the daas hatorah, to the daas rachmana amar. It's a lot more difficult for that hachna'ah or hisbatlus to express itself and to be manifest bein adam lachaveiro. Now again, the hisbatlus ultimately of course is Hakadosh Baruch Hu and only Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But if that's a real genuine hisbatlus, so that hisbatlus will express itself, will be evident in the bein adam lachaveiro as well. And that is a much, much more difficult darga of hisbatlus and that is a test for one's hisbatlus. משל למה הדבר דומה. How is that, why is that? Imagine a person standing in line somewhere, I don't know whether it's in the bank, wherever it is, a person's omeid bator. And then someone, someone cuts, cuts in the line. Okay. So usually our reaction is one of indignation and we make a mechah, we protest. Let's say the person's an illegal alien. Illegal alien. He's standing in a line, whatever the line is for, checkout counter at the supermarket, he's standing in line. And then someone cuts him in line. So the illegal alien, if he has any sensitivity, recognizes I have no, I have no zechuyos here. I have no zechus to be makpid. I have no zechus to object. In what zechus am I objecting? I have no right to be here. And even if, even if the person cutting him in line is also an illegal alien, but if he has any sensitivity, he understands that he still doesn't have any zechuyos here. He doesn't have any zechus to object. What's the basis? He has no basis to object because he realizes that if he's here as an illegal alien, he has no claim to anything. He has no claim to being here. If he has no claim to being here, then he certainly can't object that the person cut him in line or that the person is infringing on what? Aye, he has no rights either? That doesn't make a difference. But this person is an illegal alien, he has no, he has no zechus, he has no basis on which to be makpid against anyone about anything. It's easy, relatively speaking, to feel and demonstrate hisbatlus to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in davening. It's easy, relatively speaking, to feel and demonstrate hisbatlus to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in learning. It's easy, relatively speaking, to feel and demonstrate hisbatlus by dikduk mitzvos bein adam lamakom, all kinds of hiddurim, and all that is very important. But it's inestimably more difficult and more challenging when bederech hateva, from a secular perspective, a person has a right to be makpid against yenem. When bederech hateva that person doesn't deserve my chessed. On the contrary, he's been, he's been משיב רע תחת טובה for who knows how long in the course of our relationship, in the course of our interaction. That's a much, much more difficult form of hisbatlus. And initially, until a person breaks the ga'avah, until there's a sheviras haga'avah, it's a form of yissurim not to succumb to that natural impulse or that natural instinct. to be makpid and על אחת כמה וכמה to not only abstain from kpeida but to do chesed to be ma'avir al midosav and actively go ahead and be gomel chesed to people indiscriminately even people who don't deserve it by by dint of of what they've done to you against you over the course of time. That's a form of hisbatlus that's a form of hisbatlus I have no zchus to be makpid I have no zchus to be makpid I have to do I have to help. A ba'al teshuva a ba'al teshuva has to be machnia es atzmo a ba'al teshuva has to feel shiflus has to feel hachna'ah has to feel hisbatlus. That hisbatlus expresses itself through an indiscriminate and and what what indiscriminate in this context means means without judging the worthiness of the person for the chesed without judging whether or not he appreciates the chesed that we do for him without judging whether or not he ever does us a good turn without even taking into account that on the contrary he's a person who who does things which are harmful to us. That's a sense that's a form of hisbatlus and it's also a form also a form initially that battle to be moshel b'rucho like the Gaon says is greater than any other type of sigufim greater than all the other sigufim. We mentioned last week that in addition to just the kapara from the suffering of yissurim that yissurim are also designed to remove the anochi as as the Kotzker Rebbe said which is עומד בין השם וביניכם. When a person is able again to do chesed even with someone even with someone not just pass the salt to a stranger pass the salt to a friend person's able to do chesed for someone whom again his natural inclination perhaps would be that he doesn't like and he doesn't like for good reason that's also a shviras hagaiva such a person doesn't need yissurim for shviras hagaiva and he doesn't need yissurei haguf because because that cultivation of chesed will go through he'll have to endure a path of yissurei nefesh to be able to break that mida. That that's one perspective on the חסד ואמת יכופר עון. A second perspective. The second perspective is that chesed is so central within teshuva not just because it's part of the experience of teshuva resulting from hakaras hacheit but because in almost every situation of cheit gaiva is the source of cheit and if gaiva is the source of cheit so then mimeila hisbatlus hachna'ah shiflus is warranted as a tikun hacheit. How is gaiva how is gaiva a driving force in almost every cheit so let's understand a little bit. What does it mean that a person is a ba'al gaiva what does it mean that a person is an anav? So again Rav Zachs zichrono livracha once said says if a person thinks that he knows that he's a baki in shas Bavli Yerushalmi and he's not he knows a few blatt in Nazir and he thinks that he's a baki in Bavli Yerushalmi he says he's not a ba'al gaiva he's a meshugane he's out of touch he's out of touch with the reality. And similarly if a person on the other hand if a person is a baki in Bavli Yerushalmi it's not anava to be unaware of the fact then he's just he's also oblivious he's also ignorant to to reality. So what distinguishes then the ba'al gaiva from the anav a ba'al gaiva has a sense of kochi v'otzem yadi. Kochi v'otzem yadi. Kochi v'otzem yadi, a baal gaiva and an onav they both look in the mirror and they both on one level have accurate perceptions of the image looking back. But the baal gaiva attributes it to kochi v'otzem yadi. I'm so smart. It's what I did. It's what I accomplished. Me, me, me. And the onav realizes that yes, we're supposed to put in amala and yegia and hishtadlus but we're totally dependent upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu for everything. Our very existence because Hakadosh Baruch Hu this moment is infusing us with existence. Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the present tense is mamtzi kol nimtza. So there's no kochi v'otzem yadi. The amala and yegia and hishtadlus that we're supposed to make all notwithstanding, there is no kochi v'otzem yadi. Kochi v'otzem yadi is an illusion, it's a delusion. And that's what the onav understands. He knows how many blatt he knows, how many blatt he doesn't know, but there's no kochi v'otzem yadi. There's a sense that everything is from the Ribbono Shel Olam. All our amala which we're supposed to put in, yegia, hishtadlus notwithstanding. Zos v'od. Once we have this understanding of anova and gaiva, listen carefully rabosai. When a person is masiach daas, a person is masiach daas, he's distracted from that ultimate reality that he's totally dependent upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that he exists through Hakadosh Baruch Hu. He's masiach daas. And if a person were not masiach daas, he could never be chotei. There's no way, there's no way a person without hesach hadaas could ever be chotei.

אין אדם חוטא אלא אם כן נכנס בו רוח שטות.

But if a person is masiach daas, it's not just that he's masiach daas from a very yesodastika idea. At the moment he's masiach daas, he's lacking in anova. Because anova means, again, this awareness, this awareness that we exist because of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we exist through Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we exist from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Totally, absolutely dependent upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu again, all the amala and yegia that he tells us to to invest notwithstanding. Totally, absolutely dependent upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu who's mamtzi kol nimtza. If a person's masiach daas from that, so at that moment a cheisseron in anova. And it's that lack of anova and on some level, obviously not in its crudest level, rachmana litzlan, but on some level, that gaiva which takes the place when a person is masiach daas, which is present in virtually every cheit. And because of that, because every cheit is rooted in a sense of gaiva, so that's also why teshuva has to involve hisbatlus. That's why the part of teshuva is that a person should be mivatel, is that there should be sheviras hagaiva and again, as we discussed, chesed has a crucial role to play in that hisbatlus. And finally, it's getting a little bit late, so just mention this bekitzur, maybe we'll come back and elaborate. Ha'emes is that teshuva, teshuva is lifnim mishuras hadin. That we have the possibility of doing teshuva lifnim mishuras hadin. Go park in front of a fire hydrant. Go park at a meter and let the meter expire. And then when the meter maid is there writing the ticket, so go over and tell her, you know, chatasi, avisi, pashati, and I'm sorry, לעולם אינני חוזר לדבר זה, and I baishti v'nichlamti b'maasai, and she's gonna tell you, take my word, I can tell you this, she's gonna tell you sorry once I begin writing the ticket. Then you get the penalty. There's no teshuva. Teshuva's lifnim mishuras hadin. Midrash says that the midas hadin says הנפש החוטאת היא תמות. The whole inyan of teshuva is lifnim mishuras hadin. The possibility that we're given to do teshuva represents a lifnim mishuras hadin. Well, if that's the case, so then as part of doing teshuva, so we have to go lifnim mishuras hadin. We have to go lifnim mishuras hadin and again, as we explained before, chesed, again, not the easy chesed, the hard chesed, the difficult chesed represents a lifnim mishuras hadin. Shuras hadin says הנפש החוטאת היא תמות and the Ribbono Shel Olam says no, but אני נכנס עמכם לפנים משורת הדין. So to take advantage of that, בחסד ואמת יכופר עוון through ma'aseh chesed, we have to be נכנס לפנים משורת הדין as well.