Being Tough. Chabad.

There's a whole vein of dispositions and character traits that people have. יש אדם שהוא בעל חמה כעס תמיד. You have someone who's very very hot-tempered constantly becoming angry. יש אדם שדעתו ישובה עליו. You have someone who's so placid. Eino ko'es klal. Doesn't get angry at all. ואם יכעס יכעס כעס מעט בכמה שנים. If he gets angry, he's slightly angered once in many years.

יש אדם שגבוה לב ביותר ויש שהוא שפל רוח ביותר יש שהוא בעל תאוה להשביע נפשו מהלוך בתאוה ויש שהוא בעל לב טהור מאד ולא יתאוה אפילו דברים מעטים שהגוף צריך להם.

People have a wide range of capacities. Sometimes it's frightening to contemplate just what people are capable of. Sometimes we see whether it's toughness or achzariyus and you wonder why Hakadosh Baruch Hu created people with such a capacity. The immediate and obvious answer is because since ratzon Hashem is that we should exercise bechirah chofshis that it should be ובחרת בחיים ובחרת בטוב. One is only choosing to be kind if one has the capacity to be cruel. One is only choosing to be rach kekaneh, soft and sensitive, if one has the capacity to be tough. And clearly that's true, right? That capacity has to exist in order for that to be bechirah chofshis. If a person doesn't have the capacity to be tough, to be mean, to be cruel, then he's not exercising bechirah chofshis in his kindness, in his compassion. זה לעומת זה עשה אלקים. But the emes is there's more to it than that. When the Rambam then goes on to tell us what haderech hayesharah, hamidah habeinonis is, so the Rambam coming back to the illustration with regard to ka'as, so the Rambam says

כיצד לא יהיה בעל חמה נוח לכעוס ולא כמת שאינו מרגיש אלא בינוני.

He shouldn't be again this hot-tempered person who's always getting angry. He shouldn't be apathetic like he's not alive.

לא יכעס אלא על דבר גדול שראוי לכעוס עליו כדי שלא יעשה כיוצא בו פעם אחרת.

His anger should be calculated, it should be a calculated response to something which should provoke anger and where the anger is constructive to try to prevent, to try to inhibit someone from ever doing this again. So what the Rambam is saying here if we read carefully is that haderech ha'emtzo'is isn't a rejection of the extremes, but it's rather incorporating what's right about the extremes. It's not that anger is an extreme, reject anger, and apathy is an extreme, reject that. No, the Rambam is saying anger has its place. Haderech ha'emtzo'is isn't a rejection of the extremes, but it's blending them. It's balancing them. It's combining them and making sure that a person draws upon that bemiddah ubemishkal at the right time. This idea again that haderech ha'emtzo'is isn't a rejection. The Rambam says in a different way as well:

וכן לא יתאוה אלא לדברים שהגוף. וכן לא יתאוה אלא לדברים שהגוף צריך להם ואי אפשר להיות בזולתם כעניין שנאמר צדיק אוכל לשובע נפשו.

So it's interesting the Rambam talks about mis'aveh for דברים שהגוף צריך להם but you're taka mis'aveh. He could have said vechen lo yokhal, but no. So here too again it's not that we're rejecting the extremes but we're blending them, we're moderating them. In one case we're moderating it and in the other case it's more a question of timing. When it comes to לא יתאוה אלא לדברים שהגוף צריך להם, so there it's a question of moderating the extremes. And when it comes to ka'as, it's a question of timing, a question of only drawing upon it when appropriate. So in other words, the second answer to our question as to why is it that people have a capacity to be tough and and even cruel if we're supposed to be ma'avir al middosenu, we're not supposed to be kapdanim, we're supposed to be racham kekono. So answer number one is yeah, but for that to be bechira chofshis, we have to reject the alternative. But answer number two is because there are times when a person is not supposed to be rach kekono. There are times when when being principled requires a course of action which seems outwardly and on a certain level is, requires his being tough. And that's why these extremes again exist and that's why Hakadosh Baruch Hu endowed us, endowed the human personality with this ability because again the middle path doesn't reject it, it, a, moderates the extremes, but b, sometimes it's not even moderating it, it's moderating it by choosing the right time and the right moment as in the Rambam's example of ka'as. Taka there's situations, alright there's the famous Perek Beis, whatever you do with that, but in Perek Aleph at any rate there are times taka when a person should get angry, when a person should at least outwardly manifest manifest anger. The Gemara in Berachos says that לעולם ידור אדם במקום רבו. A person should should try to live in in the same neighborhood as his Rebbi so that he can be mekabel tochacha from his Rebbi. And the Gemara illustrates this with that כל זמן ששמעי בן גרא who was Shlomo HaMelech's Rebbi was alive, so Shlomo HaMelech didn't marry the nashim nochrios and it was only after Shimi ben Gera's Shimi ben Gera's death that Shlomo HaMelech was nichshal. Okay, very nice Gemara, wonderful advice and and we sort of have this image of a talmid with a Rebbi and if he's kofuf to the Rebbi, so then we we we understand what the Gemara is talking about, we understand the beneficial effects of of living close to one's Rebbi and and we learn that okay so we don't know who Shlomo HaMelech's rebbeim were in every year of cheder but at least we know one year of cheder that that his Rebbi was Rabbi Shimi. But then you you you learn a little bit of Navi and then all of a sudden you realize so what exactly happened to שמעי בן בן גרא? So as long as Shimi ben Gera was alive so Shlomo HaMelech he was kofuf to his Rebbi but then nebach Shimi ben Gera had a had a heart attack he Shimi ben Gera was killed by Shlomo HaMelech. He was killed at by the order of of Shlomo HaMelech. Shimi ben Gera was Shlomo HaMelech's Rebbi. And one's Rebbi, so one sees okay no this was before I don't know at which point in Shlomo HaMelech's life it was but either way chochmah mefo'arah that must have been in Shimi ben Gera. If a person is blessed with a Rebbi who has chochmah mefo'arah that has to lehavdil lehavdil lehavdil like the Rambam says in Perek Beis of Yesodei HaTorah vis-a-vis... Hakadosh Baruch Hu, it has to evoke, it has to elicit feelings of ahavah. On the other hand, if a person is blessed with a Rebbe who embodies greatness to be Shlomo Hamelech's Rebbe, obviously one had to do that. So again, greatness, as the Rambam Yesodei HaTorah tells us, so that evokes yirah. Shlomo Hamelech presumably, there's no reason to think otherwise, had feelings of ahavah and yirah towards his Rebbe as we all do towards our Rebbeim, different blend, different mixture of ahavah and yirah. And yet, Shlomo Hamelech orders Shimi ben Gera's death. And when he does so, he tells Shimi, he tells Shimi, now it's true, yes, it's true that mistama there had to be a little bit of ambivalence there, Shimi's relationship with Dovid Hamelech wasn't so wonderful, ein hachi nami, but that notwithstanding, so Shimi tells, Shimi reminds, Shlomo Hamelech reminds him of this:

אתה ידעת את כל הרעה אשר ידעה לבבך אשר עשית לדוד אבי והשיב השם את רעתך בראשך.

And then Shlomo Hamelech says:

והמלך שלמה ברוך וכסא דוד יהיה נכון לפני השם עד עולם.

So what does it mean Hamelach Shlomo baruch? So the meforshim say that what it means is this: that Shlomo Hamelech is saying that when the people will see that I don't play favorites, that I do what's right, I do what the situation warrants, so then Hamelach Shlomo will be baruch because they'll see that I act out of principle and that I don't allow myself to be governed by emotions and sentiments, no matter how noble they would be in a different context, and no matter how appropriate and warranted they would be in a different context, but I don't let that sway me and there's no partiality here. There's no favoritism. You're my Rebbe, but what you did means that you should be killed, you're going to be killed. And people's reactions when they see that will be, says Shlomo Hamelech, to say Hamelach Shlomo baruch. This is an example of what we're talking about, that the extreme, again, the capacity for toughness is not only there so we can bypass it and exercise bechirah chofshis in being rach kekaneh, but no, there are times when what the shvil hazahav means is again, reserving that for the right time. That toughness has to be exhibited at the right time, in the right context, with the right kavanos l'shem shamayim. Give just one other example from Navi, the haftarah of Parshas Zachor, when Hakadosh Baruch Hu tells Shmuel Hanavi that he's rejecting Shaul, so Shmuel Hanavi is distraught and Shmuel Hanavi cries out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu all night and he tries to overturn the gezeirah and Hakadosh Baruch Hu says no, gezeirah hi milfanai. Then when he comes to Shaul, and after his long drawn-out tefillos hashacham with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, so what do you see? You don't see any of this. You don't see a remez kahu zeh. But you see him telling with takifos, you see him delivering the devar Hashem to Shaul and telling that כי מאסת את דבר השם so וימאסך הקדוש ברוך הוא מהיות מלך על ישראל. And when Shaul says come with me, so Shmuel refuses. Again, there's a toughness there because again, because the shvil hazahav means not rejecting the extreme, but to know when, again, if there's a davar gadol over which a person is supposed to be ko'es, so that's what the shvil hazahav is, reserving it again for that rare situation where it's necessary. Ribbono Shel Olam doesn't give us the nisyonos of Shlomo HaMelech. We don't deal with the dinei nefashos. We're not called upon to... we're not called upon to have to implement the dinei nefashos, but we also have situations where we are called upon, again, to overcome a natural, compassionate reaction, which rubo d'rubo d'rubo of the time is the correct reaction, but in certain extreme situations isn't the correct one. And let's give... give a mashal before we come to the... the main one that we're going to focus on. Let's say, Rachmana Litzlan, Rachmana Litzlan, parents have a child who intermarries. So the natural, parental, instinctive love for the child is still something the parent, again, naturally feels. And yet, obviously, the parent can't in any way countenance or accept or tolerate that betrayal of Hakadosh Baruch Hu and Klal Yisrael. A father and son once came to the rov that they... they had a difference of opinion, they had a disagreement. And they both agreed that... that he would... he would settle the disagreement. The son was... making a chasuna for his son, his son, his father's grandson. And the chosson had a cousin who was intermarried. So the avi hachasson said that he wasn't sending his nephew an invitation. He was not going to send an invitation to an intermarried couple. And the grandfather of the chosson, the grandfather of this... of this person who, for whatever reason, lost his way, said, no, family is family, you have to invite. So they... they had this disagreement and they... they came to... they came to the rov and... and he said beshum ofen upanim you can't send an invitation. And he gently, mildly, but unequivocally was mochiach the grandfather for ever entertaining such a hava amina. So that's not being rach kekoneh, it's not being rach kekoneh, but it's an example of where, again, the shvil hazahav retains that capacity for being tough and for overcoming the natural compassion and sense of inclusiveness which otherwise, in 99.9% of cases, is the right reaction, but it's not the right reaction in that context. I think every... every... every Jew in the world was... was touched by the terrible slaughter in India. Every... every Jew feels and should feel for the victims. Amongst the victims, clearly, the... the two who... who drew the most attention were the Chabad shliach and... and his wife. And the reaction that we described until this point is all entirely appropriate. There certainly should be a... again, a tremendous sense of loss and grief at each life that was lost there. There should be a sense of outrage at the rasha and the achzoryus which was perpetrated. And... and that is certainly the case. There is perhaps a natural tendency which... which can be tapped into to say, well, we have to unite. And maybe that has its place also, but you can't unite under a banner which the grief and the sense of... empathy and sympathy and solidarity which the events elicit notwithstanding, but people can't unite under a banner which distorts the Yud Gimmel Ikkarim. If the banner of Chabad which today does distort Yud Gimmel Ikkarim, so here's an example where a person has to be tough, a person has to be principled. Yes, it's hard to say no, we're not going to unite under a banner of Chabad after a couple is slaughtered. But it doesn't... the fact that a couple, nebech, nebech, horrifically was slaughtered, that doesn't change the fact that it's a wholesale distortion of Yahadus to say that a man can die and still be Moshiach ben Dovid. That doesn't become less of a distortion of Yahadus. And על אחת כמה וכמה על אחת כמה וכמה leshonos which border, if don't cross the border into the realm of avoda zara, clearly don't become tolerable, and clearly one can't unite under a banner of a movement which is tainted, which is tainted by that. הריבי הוא בעל הבית על כל מה שקורה בעולם. And I don't know, maybe we should ask a shayla first whether or not you have to tear kriya after listening to this. I don't say that, that's not intended as a not intended as a joke, it's not intended to be humorous.

בלי הסכמתו לא יוכל להתרחש שום מאורע אם יעלה ברצונו יוכל הוא לפעול כל דומי.

v'chol zeh mishum, that's not a quote, that's interpolated to connect the quotes.

שבו שורה הקדוש ברוך הוא בכל תוקפו כמו שהוא ומפני עצם ביטולו להשם לגמרי עד שזה הופך להיות כל מציאותו ממש.

And it yitachen, it could be that people who say such things don't understand what they're saying. It could be. And I also don't know what the numbers are who would subscribe to such avoda zara-dik leshonos. Maybe they're very few. It seems to be impossible not to acknowledge the fact that at the very least, the Meshichist belief is something which is so widespread and so prevalent that at the very least, and I leave myself open here to charges of inappropriate understatement, at the very least what the Mishna says in Yoma b'yemei bayis sheni that you had to be choshed a kohen gadol that maybe he was a Tzadoki, at the very least, at the very least, you have to be choshed someone's maaseh stom. So, is it terrible? Is it horrible? Is it a source of tzaar that every one of those people who was killed was killed? Absolutely. Does that mean that our response can be to unite under a banner of Chabad? Absolutely not בשום אופן ופנים. And if we say so, so gam baruch niheyeh. People will see that there's principle, that a person isn't just guided by emotions. The chevra who come down here on Thursday nights, before anyone sits down and learns with them, they should be asked point-blank, what do you believe? What do you believe about these leshonos? Do you... did the Rebbe die? Did the Rebbe die or that was... That was a mirage. Is he dead the way everyone's, the way every everyone who all ever mortals die, or didn't he? And if he died, so is he still Mashiach? And if there's no at the very least, at the very least, it's not less than what the situation was bimei Bayis Sheini with the kohanim gedolim. It's not less than that. And again, one can level criticisms of understatement, yes. It's not less than that rabbosai. And it's not the Gemara in Shabbos says also one should not engage with debate, you engage in debate, you engage Gentiles in debate about the ikkarim. You don't engage Jews who have wrong hashkafos in debate. Someone is searching, anavadah you reach out and you try to learn, but you're not allowed to. Gemara says in Shabbos, you're not allowed to engage in debates. So before anyone Tanya is a Heilige Sefer, we're not talking about the Sefer Tanya, we're not talking about whether the Baal HaTanya was an ish kadosh or not. That's not what we're discussing. But the way things are filtered also counts. Before anyone who's affiliated, associated, or identified as Chabad, there's a cloud of suspicion over that person's head as to whether or not he subscribes to emunahs which minimally distort the traditional belief in Mashiach, if not worse, chas v'shalom. Does that mean that everyone is like that? Absolutely not. I have no reason to think so and that's not at all what's being said or insinuated, not at all beshum ofen upanim. Is there again, at the very least maaseihem ssumim, is there a question mark? Is there a question mark because of the fact that the movement is again, speaking with understatement, is compromised? And therefore anyone who operates under that banner, therefore there is question as to what he believes and he represents? Anavadah that question exists. And the fact that and everything else is

וכל זה איננו שוה לי. וכל זה איננו שוה לי

because if what it's disseminating is a distortion of Yahadus, וכל זה איננו שוה לי. So it's very, very unpleasant to have to say this. It's very unpleasant to have to act this way. But that's what the pshat in the shvil hazahav is. The pshat in the shvil hazahav is not that a person's always no, is that middas ka'as is a terrible middah, terrible.

כל הכועס כל מיני גיהנום שולטין בו או כאילו עובד עבודה זרה.

And yet, okay, with whatever the answer to the stira between perek alef and perek beis is, and yet there are some times Hakadosh Baruch Hu created that capacity because sometimes a person has to display, if not feel anger. Our whole lives we work on tikkun amidos and the tikkun amidos is to be maavir al middoseinu, is to be kind and to be accepting and ahavas Yisroel and it doesn't come easily, it's not a contradiction, but אף על פי כן it doesn't come easily to have to draw a line and say no. How can I go attend a Shabbaton again where at the very least, there are multitudes who distort belief in Mashiach and we're not even talking about if there are people who have a picture when they're davening Shmoneh Esrei and they're bowing down in the direction of the picture? At the very least, you have to ask a shayla whether or not that's יהרג ואל יעבור. Whether it's יהרג ואל יעבור. So yes. Should we be and should we continue to be devastated and grief-stricken about everyone? Yes. But the answer to that can't be to unite under a banner which has question marks over it as to whether any particular individual identified with it distorts the Yud Gimmel Ikkarim, the Yud Gimmel Ikkarim. Again, to repeat, I'm not implying I certainly don't But a person has to know to the contrary. There's no assumption that it isn't the case. Avada there's a leideh hasafek. And again you can't learn with someone on a having a looking frum doesn't mean anything. בכל זאת איננו שוה, it doesn't make a difference. It doesn't make a difference. You can't go to such a Shabbaton. You can't learn unless you know befei malei, unless you know exactly. Well we think this Meshichist business is a distortion and we think it's terrible and we disassociate ourselves from that. Okay fine, fine. But if there's an evasive answer, so then it's if the person distorts the Yidgimel Ikorim, so yes do we ישראל אף על פי שחטא? But there's no, it's not a chavrusah. It's not a chavrusah and it's certainly not a banner under which we can unite.