020 Letter 142

Hi, good morning rabbosai. I hope you all are well. מכתב קמ"ב. Kuf Mem Bais. מתגאה אני בך אהובי. I take pride in you. The shoresh is ga'avus or ga'ava again. In the form of the word ga'ava obviously has very negative connotations in the way we usually use the word and the way it appears, but really what the word means is to be elevated. And in terms of the semantics, it's actually neutral. It's actually parve in the sense that depending upon the source of the elevation, depending upon what it consists of and of whom it is predicated, it can be totally positive and appropriate or it could be the opposite, rachmana litzlan. הגאוה והגדולה לחי עולמים, so obviously that's in a totally, totally positive sense because that sense of being elevated is appropriate and is objectively true. Ge'us Hashem, right, lavesh Hashem. That again the same sense. And so too when we use it, again when we use it to say misga'eh, again it means when a person takes pride, when a parent, a rebbe, a friend takes pride, so that's a noble sense of feeling elevated. And in that sense, it's positive. Merachok ani margish, from a distance, I guess merachok is in New York and writing to the talmid who is in Eretz Yisrael.

כי נתרוממת הרבה במדרגות העליה של אדם המעלה הנקרא בן תורה.

You've been elevated greatly.

והוברר הדבר למפרע כי נסיעתך לארץ ישראל באה לך מתוך שאיפה וגעגועים והשתחרר משעבודים שונים הגורמים מניעות ועיכובים והשתקעות בלימוד.

Sometimes what defines what a person does is not only or not even the objective act as much as it is the subjective kavana and motivations which spur and which inform that act. And he says, I see here that your going to Eretz Yisrael, there was nothing sort of routine or superficial about it. I see that your going to Eretz Yisrael was out of a yearning and desire to free yourself of different entanglements which prevented your being totally immersed in your learning. וכך היא מידתו של תורה. Here's a very interesting sentence again. וכך היא מידתו של תורה שהיא משלמת לדורשיה במיטב. Right, obviously as is characteristic of rabbinic writing full of idioms from Tanach, from Chazal. מיטב שדהו ומיטב כרמו ישלם. So this is the measure of Torah, that Torah rewards those who are doresh Torah. Let's again, we're never careful because in this context we don't really need to be between how much is expressed in the letter and how much we're using it as a point of departure. This idea of being doresh Torah is a very important idea. Being doresh Torah means something. Beyond and above simply learning Torah. A person can learn Torah, can be koveia ittim in a disciplined, consistent way, but that doesn't necessarily add up to his being doresh Torah. A person can learn Torah and again, halevai that all this should be true of us. A person can learn Torah out of a sense of obligation. Right? The same way the Yerushalmi famously says, the same way that the mitzvah, the קיום המצוה תלמוד תורה is keneged kulam, that implies a similar unique position rachmana litzlan in terms of bittul Torah. So a person can learn Torah out of a sense of obligation. And again, halevai that that statement should be true of us. But the higher madreigah is that a person is doresh Torah. What does it mean to be doresh? It means to seek Torah. It means that a person has this unquenchable desire for devar Hashem, for the kirvas Hashem, for the ahavas Hashem which is only possible through that hishtaka'us, that immersion in devar Hashem, in Talmud Torah. Talmud Torah lachud, drishas Torah lachud. The highest madreigos to which we should aspire and hopefully besiyata d'shmaya will someday, the highest madreigos in avodas Hashem require not only doing mitzvos, not only responding to obligations, but to be doresh, to be a mevakesh, to seek. When a person is lost, so a person doesn't look to find his way only out of a sense of obligation, but that there's this need, this deep existential need that the person feels and experiences, and because of that he's not just, again, not just sort of looking to find his way out of a sense of obligation, but he's being a mevakesh, he's being doresh. For a person to be rewarded, for a person to have Torah pay, that Torah should be meshallamas lo, that Torah should make a payment to him, so he needs not only to learn Torah, and halevai we should do that, halevai we should do that to the best of our ability, but he needs to be that that limmud haTorah should be an expression of his bikush, of his questing, of his yearning, of his being doresh, of his seeking. ובקשתם משם את ה' אלקיך ומצאת. A person has to be a mevakesh. Ultimately the umatzasa isn't only a function of kiyum hamitzvos, but it's a function of kiyum hamitzvos and especially Talmud Torah as an expression of being mevakesh. In the Elokai Netzor Leshoni from the Amoraim which we append to Shmoneh Esrei, uvimitzvosecha tirdof nafshi. There are different nuschaos, whether it's mitzvosecha tirdof nafshi or uvimitzvosecha tirdof nafshi. If you have the nusach of uvimitzvosecha tirdof nafshi, so then the tefillah doesn't state what the object of the redifah is. If it's mitzvosecha tirdof nafshi, so then it translates as my soul seeks and pursues your mitzvos. But if it's uvimitzvosecha, so then it means the mitzvos are the instrument and the goal is unstated, but understood, meaning... Ribono Shel Olam, I seek you, I pursue you, and how? What are the instruments? B'mitzvossecho. A person has to be a rodeif, a person has to be a doreish, a person has to be a mevakesh, above and beyond, in addition to being a shomer, an oseh, and a mekayeim. Yitachen that that's why we speak of in the tefillah when we bench Rosh Chodesh, again from the same sugya in Brachos, we ask for ahavas Torah. We ask that we should be imbued with ahavas Torah. Dehainu, not only, we're not asking in quotation marks just that we should be engaged in Talmud Torah, but we're asking for ahavas Torah. Why is it so necessary to have ahavas Torah? So it can be understood in different ways, but again shivim panim l'Torah, not mutually exclusive. One way is as follows: the Chofetz Chaim has a comment on the pasuk of

מה ה' אלהיך דורש ממך כי אם עשות משפט ואהבת חסד והצנע לכת עם אלהיך.

Why does the Torah, why does the Navi speak of ahavas chesed? Why not gemilas chesed, the practice of chesed? Why ahavas chesed? Says the Chofetz Chaim, because the demands of chesed are such that a person can only really live up to those expectations if he has a sense of ahavas chesed. משל למה הדבר דומה (I don't mean to burden the Chofetz Chaim with a mashal, so if the mashal is not good, don't be surprised, it's not the Chofetz Chaim's mashal). משל למה הדבר דומה, what parents should do, what parents need to do for children, when you think about it, is really extraordinary from the day the child is born until you take the child to the chuppah and parenting doesn't end at that point, it's constantly evolving and changing but it doesn't end. The mesirus nefesh that parents have to have for children, should have for children, is extraordinary. And yitachen, that's why Hakadosh Baruch Hu implanted within us an instinct for parental love, paternal, maternal love, because when mesirus nefesh is needed, a person has to be fueled and energized by ahava. That's what the Chofetz Chaim says about ahavas chesed and yitachen, that's the pshat ahavas Torah also. For a person, again, both to satisfy the demands on the level of ma'aseh hamitzvah, but more than that, to be a doreish, to be a mevakesh, to be a doreish Torah, that the Torah should be mushalemes, a person needs that sense of ahavas Torah. Okay, maybe tomorrow bli neder im yirtzeh Hashem we'll continue a little bit more on this theme with this letter. Just a reminder that the schedule's a little bit different for today. The shiur bli neder im yirtzeh Hashem is at 12 o'clock, it'll be together with the post-Pesach group, so come early to get a seat, otherwise you might not be able to get a seat. And hopefully im yirtzeh Hashem bli neder we'll be learning some sections from the Rav's ma'amar called Kol Dodi Dofek. Okay rabosai, have a productive morning, be well, be safe, kol tuv. Thank you so much rebbe. Thank you rebbe. Thank you rebbe. Thank you rebbe.