013 Letter 139 (1)

Good morning, Shalom Aleichem Rabbosai. I hope
you are well. I hope you had a as good a Yom Tov as one what one could
have under the circumstances. We're going to look Im Yirtzeh Hashem Bli
Neder this morning at סימן
קלט in Igros U'Kesovim, actually a letter
written in Yiddish.

I'm not sure why it was written in Yiddish rather than Lashon
HaKodesh. And as the title indicates, it was a letter written to a
convention of alumni of the Yeshiva of Chaim Berlin. The main
thrust of the letter contains criticisms of things that were discussed in the
speeches and the presentations at this convention and clearly that's I think
the main tochen that Rav Hutner was looking to convey.
Nevertheless, he begins on a very positive note.

In general, that's a very important yesod. Whenever one
has occasion to be sharing even what's intended as constructive criticism, it's
very, very important in order for that to be, in order for that criticism or tochocha,
whatever the case may be, to be a davar hanishma. It's very important
that it be combined together with some positive tochen, with not, not chanifing,
but legitimately and appropriately complimenting and being mechazek. And
the reason for that is that it's easy when we're on the receiving end of tochocha,
when we're on the receiving end of criticism, it's easy to sense that, not
necessarily correctly or appropriately, but human nature being what it is, it's
easy to sort of feel that the person who's being mochiach, who's
offering the criticism is just focusing on the negative and just harping on the
negative.

And if the person or people or group of people who are on the
receiving end have that sense, then it's much less of a davar hanishma.
So, again, this there are countless or almost countless scenarios where this yesod
is relevant. Let's say to give an example. Let's say as a parent in a Yeshiva
and you feel that there's a problem in your child's class.

You feel that there's a situation that the Rebbe or the
Morah is handling inappropriately and that's to the detriment of your
child, the detriment of other children as well perhaps. So you do need to,
again, depending upon the situation, maybe the right thing to do initially is,
often the right thing to do initially is to try to speak with the Rebbe
or Morah first. Maybe sometimes the right thing to do is to go directly
to the Menahel or Menaheles as the case may be. But it is very
important to also be able to say something, again truthfully, not bederech
chanufa Rachmana litzlan, to be able to say something truthfully
positive, to express appreciation for the things that are being done well, for
what the child is gaining from the Yeshiva, how the child is growing,
and then in that context to share the concern and to share the criticism.

whatever constructive criticism may be warranted and it's much
more of a davar nishma and that's the tactic which is being employed in
this letter and it's a big, big yesod in our in all all relationships
family relationships again relationships in in in work relationships in
educational settings vechulu vechulu. Then after after beginning with
with the on on that positive note maybe we'll come back to to some of that.
Actually maybe just to look just at the very beginning of the letter. So he
begins by quoting the pasuk where Shmuel Hanavi says to Shaul
Hamelech that אם
קטון אתה
בעיניך ראש
שבטי ישראל
אתה meaning that a person certainly everyone every one
of us has to be an anav.

The the goal really is to strive to be anav me'od and
yet notwithstanding a person also has to recognize what position he occupies
and what responsibility he has. And and it's not anava for a person to
shy away from carrying out those responsibilities which are consistent with
with the position that he holds. If he shouldn't be holding that position
that's a different story. But assuming as as was the case with Shaul
Hamelech that he was anointed על
פי נביא השם so
obviously he is supposed to be occupying that position.

So then one's one's correct and legitimate sense of shiflus
ve'anava isn't supposed to translate into shying away from from carrying
out the responsibilities of of that position. And that's what Shmuel is
telling him אם קטון
אתה בעיניך
ראש שבטי
ישראל אתה. You should have stood up to the people. The people wanted
didn't want to carry out the tzivui to eradicate Amalek there was
this misplaced sense of rachmanus as it were kiveyachol.

No you're the ראש
שבטי ישראל
אתה you should have you should have imposed your will
upon them because you're the meshiah Hashem who was charged with with
this mitzvah. Then the footnote goes on to say that in that נאכדעם
מצב פון
היינטיגן דור that
because of the state of affairs in in this generation איז
יעדערמאן א
ראש שבטי
ישראל.
That this bechina of being a representative or even a leader is
something that's true for for each and every one of us. Each and every one of
us because shomrei Torah mitzvos are unfortunately ba'avonoseinu
harabbim such a a small and distinct minority.

So each and every one of us are representatives and spokesmen
and there's bechina of rosh shivtei Yisrael for each and and
every every one of us and and we we have to we have to realize that. I think
somewhere I don't remember where but but I think many many years ago I I saw in
the כל כתבי
חפץ חיים that the Chofetz
Chaim again there's no date on this letter so I'm not sure exactly what the
how much earlier the Chofetz Chaim was writing but I don't know I guess
possibly anywhere from fifty to a hundred years earlier. The Chofetz Chaim's
point of of departure if if I'm remembering correctly was the Rambam at
the end of perek hey of Yesodei Hatorah. When when the Rambam
writes after talking about the other two types of chillul hashem rachmana
litzlan and although kiddush hashem, so then the Rambam
concludes in perek hey of yesodei hatorah that שיש דברים
אחרים שהם
בכלל חילול
השם.

But this category of chillul hashem, the Rambam
says, is limited to והוא
שיעשה אדם
גדול בתורה
ומפורסם
בחסידות. A person who's again he's a gadol, he's an adam
gadol, and and he's known to be a very devout person. And he does things
despite the fact that they're technically muttar, but they're דברים
שהבריות
מרננות אחריו
בשבילן. And ואף על
פי שאינם
עבירות, even though the truth is that they're not intrinsically aveiros,
but the fact that they that they stimulate, that they provoke that type of
skeptical, cynical, gossiping reaction הרי
זה חילול השם.

The Rambam gives examples from the Gemara in Yoma,
such as when if the if the chacham buys on credit and then his his
creditors need to come after him to collect, so he didn't do anything, he
didn't do anything wrong, but it tongues begin wagging that oh look, look at
this adam gadol, so-called mefursam b'chasidus and he's not
making good on his debts etcetera. So the Rambam clearly says that that
only an adam gadol who's mefursam b'chasidus can create rachmana
litzlan a chillul hashem in this fashion because it's only a person
of his stature whose actions reflect upon Torah and and therefore can
create either a kiddush hashem or or the opposite rachmana litzlan.
So k'midmani that the Chafetz Chaim writes that bazman hazeh
it's true for all of us. All of us, when we're in the workplace, it may be a
doctor's office, it may be a law office, it may be an accounting firm, whatever
whatever the place, whatever the context, a person's wearing a yarmulke,
which he should be at all times, on job interviews, at work, at all times.

A person's wearing a yarmulke, so he's a
representative, he's a spokesman. And the fact that that that each of us, you
know, bein adam l'atzmo knows how unworthy he is to be such a
representative, that doesn't change anything. The reality is that the people
who look at us see us in that capacity. And we have to have the sensitivity to
measure what we do, how we behave, how we speak, how we conduct ourselves, how
we dress, etcetera with with that in mind.

That again, that's not supposed to... a person is not supposed
to internalize that in the wrong way. He's supposed to internalize it in the
right way. He's supposed to internalize it again in the sense of l'maiseh,
l'maiseh, if I do something wrong, people are not going to correctly
say, "Well, what do you expect from that pashuteh am ha'aretz?"
No, they're going to say, "Look at what that guy with the with the yarmulke
and the beard, look look what he did, look how look how he behaves." So
that sensitivity a person is supposed to internalize.

But not chas v'shalom to internalize it in the wrong
way, to think that, "Oh, you know, I'm taka, you know, oh, I am
someone that that people should be looking to." No, it's not. A person
recognizes who he is and what he is and it's not that it's not that one deludes
oneself into thinking that people should be looking to me. It's just that one
recognizes the reality that despite the fact that they shouldn't be, they do.
And in this case, it's the, you know, it's the de facto which creates the de
jure, the de facto that people look to each of us in that way creates the halacha
and and the need for us to be very, very sensitive to again how we conduct and
how we comport ourselves and and.

and to make sure that everything is that we hold ourselves to
the to the highest standards. It for us internally it's not a defense if chas
v'shalom you know there are groups in our communities in Torah
communities where there's an occasion or occasions chas v'shalom let's
say in the current context of violating the social distancing for ourselves
it's no defense that well others are doing it also and it's happening in other
communities also. That's not we don't hold ourselves to such relative
standards. We have to hold ourselves to a standard again because of this
because the fact that yeder Ben Torah every Ben Torah each Ben
Torah has a בחינה
ראש שבטי
ישראל that every person as undeserving and
as unworthy but makes the same impression that once upon a time only an אדם גדול
ותורה
ומפורסם
חסידות made so we have to have our
own standards not standards that we you know that we adopt from others not
standards that are relative to others in this type of context.

Okay there's much more much more in this letter to talk about
so maybe בלי נדר
אם ירצה השם we'll
talk a little further about this tomorrow morning בלי
נדר אם ירצה
השם for all those who in lieu of a final would like to
have such a letter to translate without having seen it before so please do you
can send an email to Jonah and he'll pass that news along and and that
alternative final will be available to all. Okay on a different note I leave it
to you to decide whether more serious or less serious on a different note so בלי נדר אם
ירצה השם I hope we'll resume
at at 1:30 בלי נדר
אם ירצה השם with
the limmud in Chullin. Okay have a wonderful productive morning rabosai
be well be safe.