MY Ch. 3: Cheshbon hanefesh & cheshbono shel olam

In Perek Gimmel the Ramchal tells us that הנה נבאר הצורך לאדם that he should שיהיה מדקדק ושוקל דרכיו יום ביומו. That he should scrutinize and that he should be weighing his drachov on a daily basis. v’Yikva skipping a line ויקבע עתים ושעה לזה and he should have set times שלא יהיה משקלו עראי there shouldn't be anything erratic about this undertaking ela b’kvius gadol. v’Chachameinu zichronam livracha הורונו בפירוש צורך החשבון הזה. Chazal already directed us explicitly, indicated to us the need for such a cheshbon hanefesh.

והוא מה שאמרו זכרונם לברכה על כן יאמרו המשלים באו חשבון, על כן יאמרו המשלים ביצרם.

Those who are sovereign over their physical and materialistic impulses and urges, so they tell us,

בואו ונחשב חשבונו של עולם הפסד מצוה כנגד שכרה ושכר עבירה כנגד הפסדה.

Chazal referred to the cheshbon hanefesh that a person should engage in as cheshbono shel olam. We think of a cheshbon hanefesh and appropriately so as being something which is obviously intensely personal. Chazal referred to it in these universal terms as cheshbono shel olam. And mistama that’s true on at least three levels. First of all, it’s cheshbono shel olam in the sense that כל אחד ואחד מכל באי עולם needs to engage in this cheshbon. And in that sense it’s cheshbono shel olam. There’s a universality to the vital need. It’s also cheshbono shel olam in the sense that ha'adam lo nivra as Ramchal began back in perek aleph, life is for avodas Hashem. And in that sense when a person engages in the cheshbon hanefesh, so the olam hangs in the balance. Especially in light of Ramchal’s formulation which we discussed then of chovas ha'adam b'olamo, the emphasis on the microcosm, on a certain level everyone inhabits his own world. So it’s cheshbono shel olam in a second sense as well that it’s the world that hangs in the balance whether or not the existence of the world is redeemed, that that hangs in the balance when a person makes his cheshbon hanefesh. Maybe a little bit later bli neder im yirtzeh Hashem we’ll suggest a third mechaven in this phrase of cheshbono shel olam.

וזה כי העצה האמיתית הזאת לא יוכלו לתת אותה ולראות אמיתתה אלא אותם שכבר יצאו מתחת יד יצרם ומשלו בו.

Only those who are moshlim b’yitzram are able to provide this hadracha. כי מי שהוא עדיין חבוש במאסר יצרו, person who is still imprisoned. In the prison of his yetzer, אין עיניו רואות האמת הזאת ve'eino yakhol lehakkirah כי היצר מסמא עיניו ממש. There is an important havana here into just what the yetzer hara is and how it affects a person, which is very, very rich in its implications and its applications. We generally think of a yetzer as something which is, it's a temptation, it's an urge, it's an impulse, and it is all that. But Ramchal says it's crucial to understand that the yetzer affects a person potentially in a more fundamental way as well. If a person doesn't counteract the yetzer, so it's not only that it tempts, that it represents a certain inclination, that it ignites desire within a person, but it also skews a person's judgment. כי היצר מסמא עיניו, literally it can be blinding. And Ramchal wants us to translate it literally: כי היצר מסמא עיניו ממש. Which is why we have such a basic need to look to those who are wiser, more advanced than we are, for hadrakhah. Because kol zman she'hayetzer only represents a temptation, an urge, but doesn't really threaten my objectivity, so I can still feel autonomous. But the understanding that the yetzer skews one's judgment, again כי היצר מסמא עיניו ממש, means that at the beginning of our path a person is very much bivchinas אין חבוש מתיר עצמו מבית האסורים. He needs specifically, Ramchal says, to have the humility to accept this hadrakhah of Chazal of cheshbon hanefesh. And then with that sort of distance that the cheshbon hanefesh provides, then a person can see and recognize truth for what it is. After quoting the Gemara in Bava Metzia about העולם הזה דומה ללילה, so there's something remarkable and so powerful in Ramchal. אמנם מה היא העצה שהם נותנים לנו? Those who are moshlim beyitzram, so what's the eitzah they give us? בואו חשבון בואו נחשב חשבונו של עולם. Now rabosai, let's pay careful attention to the next line:

כי כבר הם ניסו וראו וידעו שזה לבדו הוא הדרך האמיתית להגיע האדם אל הטובה שהוא מבקש ולא זולתה.

It's remarkable. Ramchal is certainly very much aware that there are different drachim in avodas Hashem, legitimately so. A little bit he even references it at the very end in Perek Chaf Vav. Vezay pashut, self-evident:

כי כל אדם לפי האומנות אשר בידו והעסק אשר הוא עוסק כך צריך לו הישרה והדרכה.

Within Torah and mitzvos, so a person's derech and hadracha he receives, the hayashara that he's given has to be individualized, it has to be personalized. There are different drachim, legitimately so, and certainly different strategies to be employed for different people in different situations at different times within avodas Hashem, all obviously

על פי כללי ופרטי ודקדוקי השולחן ערוך. כי דרך החסידות הראוי למי שתורתו אומנותו אינו דרך החסידות הראוי למי שצריך להשכיר עצמו למלאכת חבירו ולזה ולזה דרך החסידות הראוי למי שעוסק בסחורתו.

It's one thing if a person is learning full-time, it's another thing if a person is an employee, it's another thing if a person is in business for himself, he needs personalized, individualized hadracha. Now contrast that to how Ramchal presents the need, the vital need to engage in a cheshbon hanefesh. אומנם מה היא העצה, and clearly, clearly the heih hayediya is not supposed to get lost here.

מה היא העצה שהם נתנו לנו? בואו חשבון בואו נחשב חשבונו של עולם. כי כבר הם ניסו וראו וידעו

shezeh levado, exclusively,

שזה לבדו הוא הדרך האמיתי להגיע האדם אל הטוב אשר הוא מבקש,

and in case we missed it, so Ramchal repeats: velo zulas zeh. Avada there are different drachim and avada a person's derech has to, has to fit him, his kochos hanefesh, his circumstances. But there is a tzad hashaveh to all those drachim:

שזה לבדו הוא הדרך האמיתי להגיע האדם אל הטוב אשר הוא מבקש ולא זולת זה.

A remarkably, remarkably powerful psak halacha, psak halacha from Ramchal. What's the pshat in that psak? What is it that's different about this strategy that it's universally necessary and indispensable? So le'chora Ramchal is continuing along the line that we've seen be'ezras Hashem that human nature is such that the yetzer hatov and the yetzer hara operate and affect us very differently. The yetzer hara is something which is tivi, which is natural, which affects a person even instinctively without any premeditation on his part, without deliberation on his part. It operates naturally. It's something which is at its core instinctive and, if not reined in, reflexive. Ma she'ein kein the yetzer... But the Yetzer Hatov has to be activated. The Yetzer Hatov is something which is activated through hisbonenus, through reflection. And ultimately, it's no contest, the Yetzer Hatov is potentially the stronger of the two forces. But kol zman that a person just sort of lives without hisbonenus, it's not that he's in the middle. Inevitably, because the Yetzer Hara functions as we saw back in Perek Aleph, because it affects the person naturally, reflexively, instinctively, without this cheshbon hanefesh, a person is not going to find his derech in life. It's difficult to exaggerate the vital importance and indispensability of Ramchal's teaching and emphasis that a person has to live reflectively. Perhaps one last comment. Before this Ramchal gave his famous moshal to the maze, what he describes as a gan hamvucha, u'veineihem within the maze שבילים רבים נבוכים ומעורבים, there are many different paths all mixed up, כולם דומים זה לזה, no obvious, easily discernible difference between them. And only someone who's already successfully navigated the maze and has a tvi'as ayin can give directions. Then when Ramchal summarizes this perek, klalo shel davar, צריך האדם להיות מתבונן בשכלו תמיד בכל זמן. Again, that emphasis on living reflectively.

ובזמן קבוע לו בהתבודדו, מה הוא הדרך האמיתי לפי חוק התורה שהאדם צריך לילך בה, ואחר כך יבוא להתבונן על מעשיו אם הם על הדרך הזה אם לא.

Both in the moshal and the nimshal, there's something surprising here. Halacha, as we know, is very detail-oriented. Hence the idiom to be medakdek b'torah u'mitzvos. Halacha's not just about the big picture. Details on Shabbos distinguish a chiyuv chatas from heter gamur, from a mitzvah. A second m'deoraisa is the difference between a mitzvah d'oraisa of achilas kodshim and an issur nosar. Halacha is very detail-oriented. And yet Ramchal, both in his moshal of the maze as well as the nimshal, is talking about derech, derech. Talking about the big picture. So apparently what Ramchal is teaching us is that before a person can successfully make a cheshbon hanefesh where he's medakdek b'pirtei ma'asav, the details, the specifics of what he does, there has to be a cheshbon hanefesh about overarching inyanim. There has to be a cheshbon hanefesh about a person's derech in life, a person's orientation in life, the principles and axioms which should underlie and animate and guide everything a person does. And it's only in light of the cheshbon hanefesh about the derech ha'amiti that a person can be medakdek in the pratim. Maybe just to give one or two examples to help concretize and illustrate what we're talking about. If a person sort of skips that stage of the derech, of the shvil, of the direction, the orientation, the principles, the axioms, and right away he is going to be medakdek in his actions, so a person will look to see: was I yotzei hamitzva? Was the tefillin placed properly on my arm, on my head, that I was yotzei hamitzva? Was I yotzei mitzvas tfila this morning, this afternoon, this evening? If first the person engages in a cheshbon hanefesh, a cheshbon of mahu haderech ha'amiti, so then a person recognizes that mitzvos are of course, of course chiyuvim, but they're also opportunities. When a person will then come to be medakdek bema'asav, so he's going to view it through an entirely different lens. The question won't only be: did I minimally satisfy my requirements, am I not guilty rachmana litzlan of a bitul hamitzva? But then the question and the search will be: did I maximize? Did I take full advantage of the blessing, of the opportunity of the mitzvah? If a person's cheshbon hanefesh skips Ramchal's stage of focusing first on the broader derech, on one's derech in life, one's overarching values in life, principles, axioms, and right away he's medakdek bema'asav, so a person runs the risk of only ascertaining whether his behavior is technically correct. But a person's behavior can be technically correct and totally wrong. A person's behavior can be technically correct and very much בבחינת אין רוח חכמים נוחה הימנו. If and when that cheshbono shel olam begins with recognizing the shvil, the path in the broad sense, the derech ha'amitis, that a person can come and will know how to scrutinize the individual, discrete, detailed actions of his life as well. itachen that cheshbono shel olam reflects not only a cheshbon that everyone in the world needs to engage in. Not only does the phrase also connote that the olam hangs in the balance, but it's cheshbono shel olam in the sense that it's one of a kind in the world, as it were, the opportunity of a lifetime to ensure the derech of a lifetime, the eitzah vetachbulah to ensure that a person goes on the right derech.