Be Centered on Hashem, not Self-Centered

Let's perhaps continue with the theme that we spoke a little bit about last week. The Rambam writes in

פרק ב' הלכות דעות ויש דעות שאסור לו לאדם לנהוג בהן בבינונית אלא יתרחק עד הקצה האחר.

There are some character traits, some dispositions, which don't follow the general rule and directive, but in these two instances, a person is supposed to go all the way to one end of the spectrum, to one extreme. Vehu govah halev, haughtiness, שאין הדרך הטובה שיהיה האדם ענו בלבד. The derech hatova which generally translates into the middah benonis, in this context, שאין הדרך הטובה שיהיה האדם ענו בלבד, that a person should be humble, אלא שיהיה שפל רוח ותהיה רוחו נמוכה למאוד. He should be of lowly spirit.

ולפיכך נאמר במשה רבנו ענו מאד ולא נאמר ענו בלבד.

And that's why Moshe Rabbeinu is described as anav me'od, not simply anav bilvad. Ulefi-khakh tzivu chachamim, and that's why Chazal command us

מאד מאד הוי שפל רוח. ועוד אמרו שכל המגביה לבו כפר בעיקר שנאמר ורם לבבך ושכחת את ה' אלהיך.

The maimar as the Rambam quotes it here, we don't have it this way in the Gemara in Sotah, and even the Rambam himself in Perush HaMishnayos quotes it with a crucial, crucial difference, but as the Rambam reproduces it here, is staggering, nothing less than staggering. What the Rambam, again quoting Chazal, tells us is that at a certain point, ga'ava is not only a middah meguna. At a certain point on the spectrum, at a certain point on the anava-ga'ava barometer, at a certain point, ga'ava is not only a middah meguna, it's always a middah meguna, but at a certain point, it expresses a posture of kfira. כל המגביה לבו כפר בעיקר. And what's so incredibly powerful is that there's no ke'ilu, there's no khaf hadimyon. There's no

כל המגביה לבו כאילו כפר בעיקר, הרי זה ככופר בעיקר,

none of those modifiers to say that we're talking about some more rhetorical or aggadic equation. No. כל המגביה לבו כפר בעיקר. The pshat, how does what we perceive as albeit a very corrupt, insidious middah, how does that translate into something that the Rambam tells us beshem Chazal is actually kfira?

יסוד היסודות ועמוד החכמות לידע שיש שם מצוי ראשון והוא ממציא כל הנמצא. וכל הנמצאים משמים וארץ ומה שביניהם לא נמצאו אלא מאמיתת המצאו. ואם יעלה על הדעת

skipping a line and a half

ואם יעלה על הדעת שאין כל הנמצא מלבדו מצוי הוא לבדו יהיה מצוי ולא יבטל הוא לביטולם שכל הנמצאים צריכים לו והוא ברוך הוא אינו צריך להם ולא לאחד מהם לפיכך אין אמיתתו כאמיתת אחד מהם הוא שהנביא אומר

veHashem Elokim emes

הוא לבדו האמת ואין לאחר אמת כאמיתתו והוא שהתורה אומרת

ein od milvado כלומר אין שם מצוי אמת מלבדו כמותו. Everything exists. Everything from mibeisas nemalim to the galaxies. Everything exists from because of through Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Not only historically because so many thousands of years ago Hakadosh Baruch Hu pressed the button, but in the present והוא ממציא כל הנמצא as the Rav used to underscore, והוא ממציא כל הנמצא. At a certain point Rachmana litzlan ga'ava crosses the line from just being a mida meguna to being a posture of kfira because it's impossible to reconcile the sense of kochi ve'otzem yadi which a ba'al ga'ava feels and exudes with the reality of emuna, with the reality of mamtzi kol nimtza. If a person's existence isn't his own, if everything, everything from the most basic, basic ontological fact of a person's existence is not his own, so whatever indispensable role human effort and yegia ve'amal played notwithstanding, how can a person be misga'eh? How can a person be magbi'a libo? And at a certain point it's no longer only a mida meguna, only in quotation marks. It's no longer only in quotation marks something on the agenda of tikkun hamidos, but hareizeh kofer ba'ikar. The pshat in the pasuk in Parshat Eikev according to this of ורם לבבך ושכחת את ה' אלוקיך is not that the pasuk is describing a sequence, that it begins with veram levavecha and ultimately will end up with ושכחת את ה' אלוקיך. No, but the pshat is veram levavecha and by virtue of that, by virtue of that, ושכחת את ה' אלוקיך. Not down the road, not five, ten, twenty years down the road. No, veram levavecha and by that, by virtue of that fact itself, that entails, that represents ושכחת את ה' אלוקיך. Because if there's no shichchas Hashem Elokecha, there's no possibility of veram levavecha. How should the accurate awareness, how should the zechiras Hashem Elokecha manifest itself? So the truest and most complete manifestation is when a person has his bittul not only ברשות היחיד בינו לבין הקדוש ברוך הוא, but when that his bittul to Hakadosh Baruch Hu expresses itself when necessary as his bittul to other people. Because that's the ultimate test and berur. a person feels it, implements it, demonstrates it even in the context of it being כלפי הקדוש ברוך הוא. That's what we daven for every day, three times a day, נפשי כעפר לכל תהיה. If a person when there's no other people in the picture feels a hisbatlus genuinely to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but when there are other people in the picture, some difficult relationship that a person can't extricate himself from, some unwarranted, unprovoked, unjustified insult or bizayon, and the question is how a person processes it bedieved, not a question of inviting it lechatchila obviously, there's no inyan to do that, there's no inyan not to extricate oneself when that can be done properly and appropriately, but when the hisbatlus can express itself that I realize v'anachnu mah even in a bein adam l'chaveiro context, that's the true expression and reflection of a hisbatlus to Hakadosh Baruch Hu when there's a נפשי כעפר לכל תהיה. The Rambam writes in Hilchos Mamrim when he's quoting the gemaras in Kiddushin about

עד היכן כיבוד אב ואם, עד היכן מורא אב ואם,

that even if it happens that unjustifiably, unprovoked, the father comes and rips the garment, throws the arnaki into the thing, ישתוק ויקבל גזירת הכתוב ממי שציוה על מוראו. That's the ultimate in the hisbatlus because ultimately what doesn't allow us to do it is that we view it and experience it as a hisbatlus to that person, which taki isn't warranted, but it's not. Really, the way it should be viewed, the way it should be experienced and what allows for it is that it's a hisbatlus to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Again, all of that doesn't mean that a person looks lechatchila to put himself into or stay in such a relationship. It's when a person was put there in terms of processing what happened. And it's the ultimate reflection and expression because relatively speaking it's easier reshus hayachid to have hisbatlus directly to Hakadosh Baruch Hu when there's no when it's not a triangle as it were than when there is another person involved or other people. In in thinking about, in in working on the middah of anavah of shiflus, again, anavah and shiflus obviously don't mean lack of self-esteem, doesn't mean thinking that a person doesn't have kochos, it means recognizing that everything a person has is on loan from and a gift from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Every opportunity the person has to exercise them is a gift and a blessing from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. If his efforts result in success, it's because Hakadosh Baruch Hu crowns those efforts with success, none of which again diminishes the indispensability of human effort, yegiah v'amal. But in thinking about working on the middah of anavah, it's important to remind ourselves of a vort of the Kotzka. Kotzka commented on the Gemara in Kiddushin. The Gemara in Kiddushin says אם פגע בך מנוול זה, referring to the yetzer hara, moshchehu l'veit hamidrash. If if you're outside the beit medrash and the yetzer hara and you encounter the yetzer hara who's looking to direct a person to head in in certain directions, moshchehu l'veit hamidrash. Says the Kotzka, Chazal should have said אם פגע בך המנוול, what's menuval zeh? So says the Kotzka that אם פגע בך מנוול זה, there's a yetzer hara that's outside in the street. There are other yetzer haras that are in the beit medrash. This menuval, the one that you encounter on the street, you'll defeat him by moshchehu l'veit hamidrash. But don't think that once you get to the beit medrash there aren't other manifestations of the yetzer hara. We need to be mindful of the yetzer hara of ga'avah, not just in business and athletics and in physical appearance and in academic ranking. We need to be mindful of the middah of ga'avah in avodas Hashem. One hears, and it mamash mamash grates on the ear, people sometime talking about is this good for my avodas Hashem? What's good for my avodas Hashem? And there's much more of a dagesh chazak on the "my" than there is on avodas Hashem. There's one menuval who entices us to be a ba'al ga'avah again by virtue of things that don't belong in the beit medrash, professional success v'chulu v'chulu. But even when a person attains a madreigah where he recognizes וכל חפצך וכל חפצים לא ישוו בה, even וכל חפצך לא ישוו בה, it doesn't mean that he left behind that menuval of the middah of ga'avah. It just means that instead of being self-centered in my careerism, I'll be self-centered in my avodas Hashem. Once in conversation, so my brother, Hashem yikom damo, gave a very beautiful definition, a very beautiful formulation. He said about a certain individual, leshavcha obviously, that he takes what he does very seriously, but he doesn't take himself very seriously. Life is life is serious. Torah mitzva should be approached with with the maximum kovid rosh and and a minute of learning we should recognize that that it's of of infinite value. We should take what we do seriously but we're not supposed to take ourselves seriously. And and that's the that's the right balance and and that's the... The question isn't the question that that we should be asking ourselves, asking when we're misya'etz, is not what's good for my avodas Hashem. The question is, what does avodas Hashem mean in this context? How does it translate? מה השם אלוקיך שואל? Mah Hashem sho'el? That that that's the correct formulation and and that way we steer clear even of the the menuvul who who makes his way into the beis medrash.