Hil. Teshuva Perek 2

פרק ב' הלכה א' eizehu teshuva gemura

זה שבא לידו דבר שעבר בו ואפשר בידו לעשות ופירש ולא עשה מפני התשובה לא מיראה ולא מכשלון כח.

Keitzad

הרי שבא על אשה בעבירה ולאחר זמן נתייחד עמה והוא עומד באהבתו ובכח גופו ובמדינה שעבר בה ופירש ולא עבר זהו בעל תשובה גמורה.

So, based on the Gemara in Yoma, the Rambam gives us a snapshot of teshuva gemura. That the only variable between when the person was nichshal rachmana litzlan and when he's misgaber is the teshuva. He's at the same—he himself is at the same stage of life, the external circumstances are the same, not that there's some external inhibition the second time, and it's just his hisgaberus, his reaction. So that's a snapshot of teshuva. Halacha bais: u'mahi hateshuva? We'll come back to halacha aleph a little bit. U'mahi hateshuva?

הוא שיעזוב החוטא חטאו ויסירו ממחשבתו ויגמור בלבו שלא יעשהו עוד

shene'emar yaazov rasha darko וכן ינחם על שעבר shene'emar כי אחרי שובי נחמתי. The Rambam again—so we know that the primary components of teshuva are azivas hacheit, hacharata—the Rambam refers to as nechama—and the kabala lehaba, yigmor belibo. The Rambam mentions here as well that yesiro mimachshavto. Right? Lakhora the raya is from יעזוב רשע דרכו ואיש און מחשבתיו. That the teshuva is not only on a practical level of yaazov rasha darko, but the mandate of teshuva is also ish aven machshovosav. Now, lakhora it's as follows. How do we understand again the inclusion of yesiro mimachshavto? Again, so we see where the Rambam is drawing it from the pasuk, but what's the pshat yesiro mimachshavto? Lakhora it's as follows. One of the depressing questions that a person has to think about at the very least this time of year, maybe more often as well, is why it is that the list of ashamnus and al cheits seem to be as relevant this year as they were last year, last year as they were the year before. If we chazar b'teshuva and what Jew isn't mehahrer teshuva belibo by Ne'ila if not sooner? So how is it that all the al cheits seem to be as relevant this year as they were last year—hotsha a few less? Maybe skip a few of the al cheits. So one answer is that they can be meaningful but in a different way. That as a person moves to a higher madreiga, so he becomes aware of... Aspects and and details that last year bechlal he wasn't, he didn't relate to. If a person is is is is clapping al chet for tefillah, so maybe initially his al chet for tefillah is that he wasn't nizaher in סוף זמן קריאת שמע, sof zman tefillah, rachmana litzlan. And maybe next year his al chet on tefillah is that not so much kavanah. Now that he's machshiv tefillah more, he realizes that he doesn't dress properly besha'at tefillah, etc. So that's one answer, sort of an encouraging answer. The the this idea finds a very, very beautiful expression. The Chovot Halevavot writes, he says that chasidim do teshuva on their teshuva. A gevaldige idea. De-hainu, so in Tav Shin, in אלול תשס"ט, a person was on such a madreigah. On such a madreigah, so he recognizes his cheit and has a certain, a certain degree of nechama, maybe a certain degree of resolve of kabbalah l'haba. Hopefully, b'ezrat Hashem, come to אלול תש"ע, hopefully he's on a slightly higher madreigah. Now he looks back at last year's teshuva and says, "My, my regret was so superficial, and and my, my resolve was so half-hearted." By last year's standards, it wasn't. By last year's standards, takeh he was feeling all the regret and and resolve that that he was capable of, given his madreigah last year. That's what the Chovot Halevavot says so beautifully that chasidim do teshuva on their teshuva. Halevai. Halevai. So that's one answer in terms of why the, why the list of al chets and why the ashamnus never fade into irrelevance. But emmet is that unfortunately it would seem that sometimes they remain relevant mamash on the same level, even without this approach. And itaychen that one answer, one explanation to that is in this Rambam. A person can sincerely regret an aveirah, rachmana litzlan. And a person can sincerely resolve not to, not to repeat it in the following way. He can, again, whatever the aveirah is, a particular action, a particular middah, a particular de'ah, or whatever, whatever a person is trying to do teshuva for. So I can say as follows: "I regret it. I'm not going to do it. It's takeh very difficult, but I'm, I'm going to do my best not to do it." Or a person can say it differently, that what happened, again, whether it's an action or a de'ah or a middah that a person is targeting is just so intolerable that it's, it's inconceivable that I'm going to let it happen again. The difference between the two being that the first one says, "Okay, I'm going to give it a shot, but it's, it's still conceivable that I'll do it again. It's still conceivable that I'm going to," again, whatever the middah, whatever the ma'aseh, whatever, whatever it is that a person is doing teshuva for, it's not inconceivable to him. It's not inconceivable that it'll happen again. No, he recognizes that it's wrong and he doesn't want to do it and and he's sincerely resolving not to do it, but attitudinally the emmet is it's still on some level it's still a a real possibility that it will recur. That's why the posuk, the Rambam following the posuk of v'ish aven machshevosav says that in order for the teshuva to be successful, it has to be v'yisirenu mimachshavto. It's inconceivable. Again, let's take a moshel. A person's trying to kick the smoking habit. So he can say to himself, you know, I'm addicted and it's really hard, but I'm going to give it, I'm going to give it my best shot. Or he's going to say, this is killing me and it just can't continue. The doctor tells me that it's literally a death sentence and it can't continue. And there's a big difference in attitude. And the difference between those two is the v'yisirenu mimachshavto. That the second one of 'this is killing me and it can't continue' is v'yisirenu mimachshavto. The first one is lacking in the v'yisirenu mimachshavto. Yitachen that when you juxtapose these two halachos in the Rambam, the following chidush emerges. The details of teshuva not only al pi din are required, but bi'mzius they're indispensable. Dehainu. Ich veiss. You can take tefillin and you can put the tefillin not on the kibos. You can take your tefillin, you can put it over here, you can put it too high over here, you can put it too low over here. The dinim are dinim that are necessary to be m'kayem the mitzvah. They're not telling you bi'mzius that it can't happen. You can do it. You can do it. How does halacha alef—halacha alef again is supposed to be an illustration, is supposed to be a snapshot of teshuva gemura, correct? Halacha beis defines what teshuva is. How do you know that the guy in halacha alef was v'yisirenu mimachshavto? Maybe he wasn't v'yisirenu mimachshavto? Maybe he just was misgaber? How do you know in halacha alef that the guy who is featured in halacha alef, how do you know that he was misnachem l'shavar? Maybe he wasn't misnachem l'shavar, but eich she'hu he was misgaber? So ayen lo, but yitachen that the juxtaposition—and that the juxtaposition of these two, again, eizehu teshuva gemura and ma'hi hateshuva, is that the Rambam is telling us, you know, the pratim which chazal, which the Torah identify for us of teshuva is not just again al pi din requirements to be yotze a mitzvah of teshuva, but bi'mzius elements that have to be present if a person is going to succeed. Nishtaneh hacha the chiyuv she'bo and the mitzvah she'bo. It's as if that there would be in the example we gave, it would be as if there would be some force in the tefillin that didn't allow you to put it other than in its right place. The Rambam here is telling us it's a m'zius. If this person again, he was עומד באהבתו בו בכוח גופו במדינה שעבר בה, the only way he's going to be successful in being poresh v'eino over is going to be if when he finds himself in that situation previously he was v'yisirenu mimachshavto and he was misnachem because otherwise, otherwise it's not going to hold. So then what we're saying again, so we suggested again that maybe halacha beis gives us an understanding for why sometimes rachmana litzlan our teshuva, albeit intended sincerely, doesn't seem to hold up. So we suggested maybe we're lacking v'yisirenu mimachshavto. So now we're saying smuchim l'kach that the Rambam says that this is an illustration of teshuva gemura, the suggestion again that without the v'yisirenu mimachshavto this couldn't have happened. This wouldn't have happened. It's not just a din, it's not just again a requirement מצד החיוב ומצוות תשובה. No, that the Torah the סוף דעתו של אדם and saying bi'mzius if if you want to be able to be successful, it's going to require that v'yisirenu mimachshavto. Halo davar hu. In Halacha Aleph, after the Rambam gives the description of the case and says זהו בעל תשובה גמורה, hu sheshlomo amar וזכור את בוראך בימי בחורותיך. It's this type of situation that Shlomo Hamelech is referring to in that pasuk. So the Rambam here is giving us a, the most fundamental yesod perhaps in all of teshuvah. What's the raya from the pasuk? How does the pasuk encapsulate what the Rambam just said? The Rambam is talking about again al pi the Gemara in Yuma of course, what constitutes teshuvah gemurah? So where in the pasuk is Shlomo Hamelech talking about teshuvah? Pasuk says וזכור את בוראך בימי בחורותיך. So ela mai, it's clear, it's clear in context that uzechore es borecha that refers to teshuvah. And that the essence of teshuvah is that a person has to remember Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Implicit in that equation between teshuvah and zechiras haborei is an earlier equation rachmana litzlan between cheit and forgetting Hakadosh Baruch Hu. If there's an equation between teshuvah and remembering Hakadosh Baruch Hu, so then al korchacha there's an earlier equation between cheit and forgetting Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Again with the leaving aside the extreme tinok shenishbah type of case. Not talking about that case. What's the pshat? Because the pshat is as follows. The tzad hashaveh of every cheit that a person does rachmana litzlan, there's one, there's one factor that changes, there's one factor that's constant. There's a constant, there's a variable. The variable is what the yetzer hara is. Ich veis, lo reei the yetzer hara of taiva, kireei the yetzer hara of atzlus, kireei the yetzer hara of lashon hara, כראי אלה אלה יצרי הרע. Different, different yetzer haras. And different people the yetzer hara is stronger in some areas than other areas. Everyone's different. So that's the variable. The constant is that the Torah says that lemantiyu יראת ה' על פניכם לבלתי תחטאו. If a person feels that he's in the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is עומד עליו ורואה במעשיו, so that inhibits any yetzer hara. Doesn't matter maybe my weakness is yetzer hara x and someone else's weakness is more for yetzer hara y, but the tzad hashaveh is people who are bnei daas don't cheat on tests when the proctor is looking at them. It's only when they either think the proctor is not looking or they forget that the proctor is looking, so then they cheat on tests. No one, no one cheats on a test when they're aware of the fact that the proctor is staring right at them that moment. It's not, it's not the way one would cheat on a test. So hence, every aveira again we're not talking about the category of תינוק שנשבה וכעין זה, but every other aveira involves shichchas haborei. Hence the Rambam says uzechore es borecha that's what teshuvah is. Teshuvah is to remember Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It would seem nonsensical and logically it is not nonsensical, but empirically it's real, psychologically it's real. Sometimes, sometimes we do teshuvah without remembering Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But how is that? Let's say we've Baruch Hashem, we've had a good chinuch and it's been impressed upon us about midos raos. It's been impressed upon us, ach veis, that kaas is a terrible midah vechayotzei bazeh. Often, often we can klap al cheit. I'm klapping al cheit, Ribono Shel Olam, for the midah. I'm klapping al cheit, so the lifanecha doesn't so much register, but what does register is that kaas, kaas is a midah meguna and so many times over the past this past year I succumbed to kaas. So again, so the matbei'a havidui of chatanu lifanecha isn't supposed to allow for this. But sometimes we sort of mumble our way through the chatanu lifanecha and I'm thinking to myself kaas is a midah meguna and I have to be misgaber not to be kois again. And the Ribono Shel Olam isn't in the picture. Ribono Shel Olam isn't in the picture. Ultimately, again, every instinct that we have, whether it's not to eat ma'achalos asuros or whether the midos raos are such and are megunos, so all of that is because the Ribono Shel Olam said so. There's no such thing as a teshuvah where the mitzvah or the issur sort of gets spun off until it has some kind of independent association. If I don't speak nicely to people, it's not that that's a bad thing, I feel bad about it, I'm not going to do it anymore. It's a bad thing because the Ribono Shel Olam teaches us that it's a bad thing, and that's why I feel bad about it and that's why I'm determined not to do it anymore. And sometimes again, when you say it it seems so obvious that and yet, I don't know, our attempt at teshuvah is easily susceptible to the glossing over the lifanecha and just zeroing in on the end of the phrase. Halacha Gimmel the Rambam quotes the Gemara in Chagiga where the Gemara has the imagery of tovel vesheretz beyado. So the Rambam understands that to mean when a person is misvadeh without the inner determination and resolve of azivas hacheit. So the cheit is represented by the sheretz and the mashal to the vidui is the tevilah. I think from Rashi in the Gemara is mashma that it refers to a case more literally, the tovel vesheretz beyado means a ganav or a gazlan is klapping al cheit for gneivah u'gezeilah but he doesn't return the money, doesn't return the stolen property. Chovos Halevavos has absolutely incredible pshat in the Gemara. You look in the Chovos Halevavos, you read carefully how in Sha'ar HaTeshuvah the Chovos Halevavos parts that Gemara, sounds like the Chovos Halevavos understood it as follows: let's say a person... objectively has ich veis two chatoim for which he has to what he has to do teshuva. And he only undertakes to do teshuva for one of them. ich veis. He wears suits of shatnez and goes into McDonald's to eat cheeseburgers. Other than that he's mamish puts on his tfilin Rabbeinu Tam every morning and waits his זמן רבנו תם מוצאי שבת but other than that every morning he puts on his shatnez suit goes into McDonald's for his cheeseburger but other than that the only two things between him and being a lamed vavnik. So he decides he's gonna do teshuva for the he'll wear a regular suit when he goes into McDonald's or he'll wear a shatnez suit and he'll go into what's it called Golan. So the Chovos Halevavos says tovel vesheretz beyado when a person commits to do teshuva for one thing but not for something else. The sheretz beyado is not the actual gzeila when purportedly he's doing teshuva for the avon of gezel. The sheretz beyado isn't the lack of determination mikan ul'habo when he's being misvade for this. The sheretz beyado is he's going to the mikva for beged kilayim shatnez and לא תבשל גדי בחלב אמו he's neglecting. So in theory the Chovos Halevavos is easy to understand in theory because again what we just said what's wrong about the beged kilayim shatnez? It goes against d'var Hashem. It goes against d'var Hashem. That's what the teshuva ultimately is. So if it goes against d'var Hashem so mi samcha l'ish to say this I'm going to be mesaken and this this I'm going to leave alone. So theoretically it's very easy to understand. Question is what does it mean practically? Right? Practically we know that l'maise a person can't work on everything at once. If a person has various character flaws various weaknesses different areas that require tikun vechizuk so we know that a person can't do everything at once. Can't do everything at once. So what does it mean practically? Again the Chovos Halevavos makes perfect sense logically and theoretically but what does it mean halacha l'maise? So l'chora you have to distinguish between the following. What the Chovos Halevavos is talking about is when a person is saying you know don't talk to me about the basar b'chalav. Don't talk to me about basar b'chalav I'm not interested in hearing about it. Or maybe a moshul lema hadavar domeh let's say a person needs to do some catch-up work in more than one subject. More than one subject. So he has two courses this semester and emes is he needs in two areas in which he's not so strong. So either he can say well I'm just going to skip the other class. I'm not going to do anything in the other class and I'm going to just focus on this. Or he can say no I'm going to go to the other class and I'm going to give it its due realistically in terms of giving it more than its due in terms of how much time you usually spend on a class so I know that I'm not going to be able to do that for both classes during the same semester. That's the moshul. What's the nimshul? So the nimshul is again so the Chovos Halevavos says a person we can't pick and choose in terms of okay this mitzvah I'm going to be nizar on and I don't know maybe the day will come when I'll be nizar in this mitzvah. No, there has to be a resolve to be nizhar in everything. Now, lemaiseh, can I walk around when my avodah is I'm targeting a certain midah? I'm targeting the midah of not just talking without thinking, because when I talk without thinking, all kinds of dvorim asurim come out of my mouth, whether it's onoas dvorim, whether it's loshon hora, whether it's rechilus, whether it's inciting kaas, etc. So I'm going to walk around for the next 40 days and I'm going to have on my mind not to speak without thinking first. That sort of extra intensified avodah, so there ein hachi nami, a person can't work on everything at once. But there's a difference between saying again that extra intensified avodah that ein hachi nami, so there a person can't be doing that on all fronts simultaneously, and if it's impossible, so obviously that's not what the Ribbono Shel Olam doesn't expect from us what's impossible. But there's a difference between that and saying, you know, I'm not even thinking about the shaatnez, I'm not even thinking about the basar bechalav, I'm not even clapping al cheit. No, I'm thinking about it, I'm being misnachem, I'm going to change my route to work in the morning that I don't drive past the McDonald's to try to remove that temptation. In terms of what I'm walking around 24/7 thinking about during a particular tkufa, ein hachi nami, some things are going to be targeted more than others because you can't do everything simultaneously. But it doesn't mean that vis-a-vis other areas it's all or nothing. It doesn't mean that there can't be any attention being paid. Lichora, that's the yishuv.

מדרכי התשובה להיות השב צועק תמיד לפני השם בבכי ותחנונים ועושה צדקה כפי כוחו ומרוחק הרבה מן הדבר שחטא בו ומשנה שמו כלומר אני אחר ואיני אותו האיש שעשה אותם המעשים ומשנה מעשיו כולם לטובה ולדרך ישרה וגולה ממקומו שגלות מכפרת עוון מפני שגורמת לו להיכנע ולהיות עניו ושפל רוח.

So again, the Rambam is, this is his presentation of the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah of the dalet dvorim as the Kesef Mishneh quotes, which are מקרעין גזר דינו של אדם: tzedaka, tzaaka, shinui hashem, shinui maaseh. But here the Rambam is again communicating an important yesod which might also shed light on our quandary, on our question why our teshuva doesn't seem to stick. When the Rambam says להיות השב צועק תמיד and ומרוחק הרבה מן הדבר שחטא בו, so what's the timeframe for this? Is there a statute of limitations? At some point I did my time and I'll change my name from David to Yankel, but at a certain point, you know, I'm going back to David. All my sefarim are stamped with David, my yarmulkas say David, I mean, hi yitochen? So at a certain point I have to go back, no? I don't know, the Rambam doesn't really tell us when. So I don't know. So the mashmaos is, let's say you have someone rachmana litzlan who becomes an alcoholic. So when he beezras hashem is able to free himself from the addiction, so how long does he go cold turkey on the addiction? Whatever the addiction was, whether it was alcohol, whether it was drugs, rachmana litzlan, whatever the addiction was. So I think forever. I don't think it changes. I think let's say... a person who was addicted to alcohol so I think what's recommended is that at no point do they go back to even having one or two drinks. So the Rambam doesn't say what the cut-off point is. So it means that to do teshuva isn't just to feel albeit genuinely sincerely remorse and resolve but it also means to implement change. To implement change. So again if I'm targeting the midda of ka'as so it's not just to resolve and have remorse but I have to implement ich veis whether it's what the Igeres HaRamban says or other approaches in addition but there has to be change which is implemented and change which remains. The same way the alcoholic doesn't just it's not just for three months that he's not going to have a drink and it's not just for three months that the recovering drug addict can't take drugs. There has to be permanent change which is implemented. So sometimes our teshuva can be lacking in that as well. That takeh is genuine remorse and there's genuine resolve but there isn't the you know I guess the strategic planning of what change I need to implement what change I need to put in place in order that it shouldn't just be a moment of teshuva but that it should be the beginning of darkei hateshuva. Just one last vort for today in halacha vav when the Rambam again quotes the Gemara in Rosh Hashana about dirshu Hashem behimatzo so the Rambam writes

אף על פי שהתשובה והצעקה יפה לעולם ובעשרה ימים שבין ראש השנה ויום הכיפורים היא יפה ביותר ומתקבלת היא מיד שנאמר דרשו ה' בהימצאו

and clearly the Rambam also intends maybe the manuscripts actually have it kiruhu biheyoso karov. Dehainu it's meduyak in the Rambam again reflecting the posuk that aseret yemei teshuva are mesugalam both for teshuva and also it's zman tefilla. Right אף על פי שהתשובה והצעקה יפה לעולם it's a zman not only which is especially conducive and where the mitzvas hayom as it were is teshuva but it's also tze'akah and that's the dirshu Hashem behimatzo. The same way is there a time when Hashem is matzo is there a time when he isn't matzo so the same diyuk applies to the kiruhu biheyoso karov. The dirshu Hashem behimatzo is teshuva. The kiruhu biheyoso karov is tze'akah is tefilla. Now that's the basis, the Rambam in Gimmel Daled when he quotes the minhag, the Rambam only records the minhag of סליחות עשרת ימי תשובה. But

ונהגו כולם לקום בלילה בעשרת ימים אלו להתפלל בבתי כנסיות בדברי תחנונים ובכיבושים עד שיאור היום

because Aseres Yemei Teshuva is a special zman tefilla. Special zman tefilla.