Hil. Teshuva Perek 6

I think we left off with Perek Vav and verse Vav.

פסוקים הרבה יש בתורה ובדברי נביאים שנראין כסותרים עיקר זה ובחירה חופשית ובנכשלים בהן רוב האדם ויעלה על דעתן מהן שהקדוש ברוך הוא גוזר על האדם לעשות רע או טוב ושאין ליבו של אדם מסור לו להטותו לכל אשר יחפוץ והריני מבאר עיקר גדול שממנו תדע פירוש כל אותן הפסוקים בזמן שאדם אחד או אנשי מדינה חוטאים.

That is earlier I think in the beginning of Perek Gimmel, I'm not sure if we read that part together. So the Rambam talks about quoting the psukim from Stone that the din is not only every yachid is a unit which is nidon, but collectively a medina is nidones as well in Gimmel Bet. וכן מדינה שעוונותיה מרובין מיד היא אובדת. So that's what he's referring back to here as well, that

בזמן שאדם אחד או אנשי מדינה חוטאים ועושה החוטא חטא שעושה מדעתו וברצונו כמו שהודענו ראוי להפרע ממנו והקדוש ברוך הוא יודע איך יפרע.

So, l'mashal, it's not a cheit is dan, there's daas involved, there's ratzon involved. Stama, al pi darko of Reb Chaim, what it means here is that usually it is the case that the cheit is midaato u'birtzono, but the emes is it doesn't have to be to be a cheit, it doesn't have to be both, right? Reb Chaim has in his to be m'yashev the piskei HaRambam about mefis morsa, so Reb Chaim has his famous chilluk that he says that a davar she'aino miskaven in kol HaTorah kulah, so we pasken like Rebbi Shimon is mutter. Psik reisha makes it assur, even if it's a פסיק רישא דלא ניחא ליה. Reb Chaim assumes that an aveirah in kol HaTorah kulah is a function of daas adam. If I know when I'm about to do something that this will result in an issur, so then the fact that I don't want the issur to happen, I'm really doing this for some other reason, for some other purpose, אף על פי כן, the issur is a function of daas adam. With the exception of Shabbos, where there's a din of meleches machsheves, that there Reb Chaim thinks that the Rambam agrees with the Aruch that a פסיק רישא דלא ניחא ליה is mutter because based on the Gemara in Pesachim and that you need ratzon adam. Stama according to this, it doesn't mean that every cheit has to have both components of daato u'birtzono. Generally it's the case. Certainly it will be the case by a cheit which is so chamur that it could lead to what the Rambam is describing here. It's certainly going to stama be a cheit which is not only midaato but b'ratzono as well.

יש חטא שהדין נותן שנפרעין ממנו על חטאו בעולם הזה בגופו או בממונו או בבניו הקטנים שבניו של אדם הקטנים שאין בהן דעת ולא הגיעו לכלל מצוות כקניינו הן וכתיב איש בחטאו יומת עד שייעשה איש.

Okay, very hard for us to understand that concept.

ויש חטא שהדין נותן שנפרעין ממנו לעולם הבא ואין לעובר עליו שום נזק בעולם הזה ויש חטא שנפרעין ממנו בעולם הזה ולעולם הבא במה דברים אמורים בזמן שלא עשה תשובה אבל אם עשה תשובה התשובה כתריס בפני הפורענות וכשם שאדם חוטא מדעתו וברצונו כך הוא עושה תשובה מדעתו וברצונו.

Sometimes a person knows, but doesn't have a ratzon and has to has to try to arouse that ratzon.

אפשר שיחטא אדם חטא גדול או חטאים רבים עד שיתן הדין לפני דיין האמת שיהא הפירעון מזה החוטא על חטאים אלו שעשה ברצונו ומדעתו שמונעין ממנו התשובה ואין מניחין לו רשות לשוב מרשעו כדי שימות ויאבד בחטאו שעשה,

I guess.

והוא שהקדוש ברוך הוא אמר על ידי ישעיהו השמן לב העם הזה וגומר. וכן הוא אומר ויהיו מלעיבים במלאכי האלקים ובוזים דבריו ומתעתעים בנביאיו עד עלות חמת ה' בעמו עד לאין מרפא. כלומר חטאו ברצונם והרבו לפשוע עד שנתחייבו למנוע מהן התשובה שהיא המרפא. לפיכך כתוב בתורה ואני אחזק את לב פרעה.

So the Rambam's of the opinion that sometimes Hakadosh Baruch Hu takes away a person's bechira to do teshuva. Ma'aseh there are other Rishonim who disagree and say there is no such thing and that ואני אחזק את לב פרעה is I'm going to make it very difficult for him. But in an absolute sense Hakadosh Baruch Hu never ever deprives one of of his bechira and the ability to do teshuva. The Rambam the Rambam clearly thinks otherwise. You read this halacha, so again so we associate this halacha with Paroh, later Sicha. Then then you go right, you read Halacha Daled. It's I don't know, there's just almost no words to describe it. Meaning this is sort of the ultimate punishment in Olam Hazeh at any rate that Hakadosh Baruch Hu administers rachmana litzlan is that a person loses his bechira to do teshuva. And again so that's a punishment we associate with Paroh. כל הבן הילוד היאורה תשליכוהו. Okay, shayn. Then comes the Rambam Halacha Daled and says by Dovid Hamelech

וכענין זה שאלו הצדיקים והנביאים בתפילתם מאת השם לעזרם על האמת כמו שאמר דוד הורני ה' דרכך. כלומר אל ימנעוני חטאי דרך האמת שממנה אדע דרכך ויחוד שמך וכן זה שאמר ורוח נדיבה תסמכני. כלומר תניח רוחי לעשות חפצך ואל יגרמו לי חטאי למנעני מתשובה אלא תהיה הרשות בידי עד שאחזור ואבין ואדע דרך האמת.

The Rambam learns pshat that Dovid Hamelech was concerned that lest he incur that punishment. Mamash mora'avadig. Nu. A bissele talks about it in Kochvei Or also. First of all he has a very powerful ha'ara. He says when we not in that category rachmana litzlan, but just because of lack of hisorerus or for whatever reason don't take advantage of the opportunity to do teshuva, so he says okay, so we think of it as okay, I'm not doing a mitzvah, I'm not grabbing an opportunity. He says no basically what it is, a person is self-inflicting the worst punishment there is. The worst punishment there is is not to be able to do teshuva. Mah lee that Hakadosh Baruch Hu imposes it, mah lee that a person imposes it upon himself. Mamash. And then he says and again the Rambam already said it:

והנה כל אדם עלול להיות נכשל בעוונות גדולות באיכותם וכן רבים מאד בכמותם. נמצא כי האדם עם כמות עוונותיו יוכל להגיע חס ושלום למדרגה התחתונה שיתן הדין ופדייני אמת למנוע ממנו התשובה. ולזאת איפה מאמר עוד נחוץ לפני האדם למהר לעשות תשובה בטרם עוונותיו יעברו ראשו. בעודו במדרגה בכלל הבא ליטהר מסייעין אותו. כי אז נקל לפניו מאוד לעשות תשובה כשמו יתברך שמו ישלח לו עזר מקודש ומציון יסעדהו.

And b'emes that the Rambam already said it, mamash a pachad pichadim. Sefer HaChinuch right that the reason Rosh Hashanah is a Yom Tov and the day of celebration is because it's such a gievaldige chesed. Imagine he says that there wasn't a Rosh Hashanah every year. Imagine that a person was only nidon ich veis achar moso nidon once. So what would that mean? That would mean that everything rachmana litzlan all our aveiros if there weren't an annual ראש השנה יום הכיפורים עשרת ימי תשובה there wasn't an annual Yom HaDin. So then that mean that all the aveiros would accumulate and he says it would be increasingly difficult that a person should be able to be omeid badin that a person should emerge zakai from such a din. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu every year, so how many aveiros does a person do over the course of a year? So every year Hakadosh Baruch Hu imposes a Yom HaDin, so that's a tremendous chesed, tremendous chesed that we should be forced to give a reckoning before the aveiros are olos lemala rosh. So a similar line of thought. Okay maybe we'll come back to halacha hei again in terms of the Mitzrayim but we'll skip it for now. Perek Zayin.

הואיל ורשות כל אדם נתונה לו כמו שביארנו ישתדל אדם לעשות תשובה

and I think the standard tofes has ulehivados befiv and I think Frankel does not have it.

ישתדל אדם לעשות תשובה ולנעור כפיו מחטאו כדי שימות ובעל תשובה ויזכה לחיי עולם הבא.

So what's the ישתדל אדם לעשות תשובה? Should be chayav la'asos teshuva. Since it's within hesseg yadeinu, it's within our reach to do teshuva. So me'eila a person's chayav to do teshuva. So itochim what the Rambam means is as follows. Again, especially I think what we mentioned last week the Rav's very remarkable insight here into Alef Hilchos Teshuva that yishtadel can mean to try in the sense of trying. All you have to do is try. Don't necessarily have to do it, but just try. So yishtadel can have that connotation which stands in contrast to chiyuv which would be a shverer lashon here in the Rambam. Or yishtadel can have the sense of exerting oneself. And what the Rambam itochim is saying is like this: Hayos hayos kemoshebe'arnu that a person has an absolute bechira dehainu no matter how powerful the forces of habit that he's developed and no matter... And no matter how how how strong his netiyos towards certain things have become over the years, so a person should know that there is what to exert himself. A person should know that he has that capacity and therefore yishtadel adam not in the sense, not that the Rambam is implying reshus versus chova, but the Rambam is saying that teshuva is an area which lends itself to the hishtadlus in the sense of exertion. It lends itself to a person doing that because a person does have that reshus, he does have that capacity, he does have that ability and mimmeila a person has to therefore realize that there's what to exercise. A person shouldn't sell himself short in terms of what it is that he's able to do in terms of trying to be mekayem mitzvas teshuva which is something that we often do. We have a whole range of again excuses which the Rambam is dismissing here with ישתדל אדם לעשות תשובה. Often you hear people say I'm too old to change. Too old to change. At my age you expect me to change? But if עד יום מותו תחכה לו so what's Hakadosh Baruch Hu waiting for? Obviously He's waiting because there's a possibility. That's why I'm saying is yishtadel adam. Other times people say I can't do teshuva. I don't have the support system. I don't have the support system. I had an experience many years ago. Could be I shared it with you. I don't remember. I was once in a car service going somewhere. Someone else had made the arrangements for the car service. So I get in, the driver looks like a throwback to the 1960s. Looks like a hippie with hair down to, I don't know, down to shoulders and a big, big bushy beard and so I get into the car. He starts talking to me in Hebrew. So after he has his enjoyment at the you know the look of shock on my face, it was a long ride. So he begins telling me his story. To make a long story short, he grew up in a very frum home, in a very frum neighborhood and had drifted very very far. How far we'll see in a minute. He says to me, says when I was young he says, I had all kinds of kashyas but no one ever had any answers. So I asked him what what were the questions? What kind of questions did you have? So he says to me for instance, why should it be that Jewishness is determined exclusively by the mother? Why should that be? So I told him I thought that was a very good question, but I didn't believe for a second that anyone loses their emuna or anyone ceases to be a shomer Torah umitzvos because of such a question. So he said to me you're right. 20 minutes later in the ride turns out that he had intermarried. He intermarried. Then we had never met before. He didn't know me, I didn't know him. Then then he says to me, I was talking to him, trying to trying to see if if if if one could reach the the spark which was clearly still inside of him. Then he says to me, this happened around 14 years ago, this story, approximately 14 years ago, maybe 15 years ago. Then he says to me, he says to me, if Rabbi Soloveitchik was still alive, he says, he could bring me back. He says, but now there's no one who can bring me back. Right, so we we talk some more. L'maise, we fool ourselves into thinking that if only this, then I could do it, but as is, so that's the way we're... You know, the the welt tells a story about Rav Chaim that that there'd been a talmid in Volozhin who was yotze letarbut ra, rachmana litzlan. And years later, he happened to bump into Rav Chaim and was obviously very embarrassed at the encounter. That much, you know, at least that much was left inside of him, he was very embarrassed to to see Rav Chaim. So he says to him, Rebbe, ח'האב געהאט אזוי פיל קשיות. And again, no answers. So Rav Chaim said to him,

אויף קשיות קען מען געבן תירוצים, אבער אויף א תירוץ איז נישט דא קיין תירוץ.

D'hainu, that the word terutz in Yiddish can mean answer, but it can also mean an excuse. When you say in Yiddish to give a terutz, it can also mean an excuse. So there are kashas and there are terutzim. So one of the terutzim we always use is if only I could talk to this person, if only I could talk to that person. So that's what the Gemara of Rabbi Elazar ben Dordia is: אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי. And that's what Rambam says again, yishtadel. Person has to exert himself, but what that means is that we have the ability to exert ourselves, that רשות כל אדם נתונה לו. So it's not true that he has to be a certain age, and it's not true that he has to have access to a certain gadol.

רשות כל אדם נתונה לו. לעולם יראה אדם עצמו כאילו נוטה למות ושמא ימות בשעתו ונמצא עומד בחטאו לפיכך ישוב מחטאו מיד ולא יאמר כשאזקין אשוב שמא ימות טרם שיזקין הוא ששלמה אמר בחכמתו בכל עת יהיו בגדיך לבנים שוב יום אחד לפני מיתתך.

Here, let's look at this next halacha carefully, rabosai.

אל תאמר שאין תשובה אלא מעבירות שיש בהן מעשה כגון זנות וגזל וגניבה אלא כשם שצריך אדם לשוב מאלו כך הוא צריך לחפש בדעות רעות שיש לו ולשוב מן הכעס ומן האיבה ומן הקנאה ומן ההיתול ומרדיפת הממון והכבוד ומרדיפת המאכלות וכיוצא בהן מן הכל צריך לחזור בתשובה ואלו העוונות קשים מאותן שיש בהן מעשה שבזמן שאדם נשקע באלו קשה הוא לפרוש מהן וכן הוא אומר יעזוב רשע דרכו ואיש און מחשבותיו.

Okay, so a couple of questions, ha'aros. There is a, I don't know, maybe it's overstating it to say a diyuk, but there certainly is an opening for the following question. Again, so the Rambam here is telling us for the first time that based on the first perek in Hilchos Teshuva, we only know there's teshuva on עבירות שיש בהן מעשה. Now, as the Rav explains, in light of realizing just how powerful and how revolutionary a person's bechira chofshis can be, so now the Rambam introduces us to the fact that there's teshuva for deos raos as well. Okay, what about is there a chiyuv viduy if a person's doing teshuva for kaas, for eivah, vechayozeh bahem. Is there a chiyuv viduy? So mitzad echad, why shouldn't there be? The Rambam clearly considers these aveiros. He considers these aveiros because they're all violations of halachta bedrachav. So they're aveiros even in the very technical sense of minyan hamitzvos according to the Rambam. For whatever reason, the Chofetz Chaim and the others quote from the Shaarei Kedushah of Rav Chaim Vital that mitzvos, that deios are not included in mitzvos. They're sort of the basis for Torah umitzvos. Torah umitzvos already assumes a foundation of middos tovos, which doesn't mean that he would disagree with the chiyuv to do teshuvah and to be mesaken, but just in terms of whether or not technically you can identify where middos raos are in the minyan hamitzvos, so Rav Chaim Vital says you can't. They're not there takeh. They're not there. So mitzad echad, why shouldn't there be viduy? Meidach gisa, lemaaseh here in Halacha Gimmel when the Rambam is first telling us that teshuvah relates to deios raos as well, so he doesn't repeat the viduy. Throughout Perek Aleph he kept on emphasizing laasos teshuvah ulehizvados, laasos teshuvah ulehizvados, laasos teshuvah ulehizvados. It's not at all clear in the Rambam whether he thinks that the chiyuv viduy applies here as well. Why wouldn't it? Meicheicha teisi that it doesn't? Other than again the stimas lashon and in sevara is there a reason why there wouldn't be a chiyuv viduy on deios raos the way there is on maachalos asuros? There's a chiyuv viduy, but redifas maachalos? Itachen is not so pashut. So just very simplistically, I think there's an omek here, but I can't quite get at it. But very simplistically itachen as follows: In order to be misvadeh, so a person has to be shav lifnei hakeil, he has to be misvadeh lifnei hakeil, and at the end of the viduy he has to be able to say ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר הזה. So I think we all know that in terms of עבירות שיש בהן מעשה, the emes is no matter, even if a person has a certain addiction, a person can break that addiction cold turkey. It's not going to be easy or a pleasant experience, but we know that alcoholics or drug addicts can do it. They can do it. The withdrawal symptoms are excruciating, but you can do it. Al hatzad hayoser, so let's say vav Tishrei, so a person is making a cheshbon hanefesh, finally, finally is honest with himself, realizes that he's a big kaasan, a big baal kinah, and between now and Yom Kippur he's mamash being mishtadel bechol kocho. So when exactly does a person say that ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר הזה? I don't know. Is it, he certainly has to be resolved to be doing his best not to be chozer ladavar hazeh, but maybe, I don't know, maybe it's not entirely real, specifically let's take the example of kaas, right? The very first example the Rambam gives is lashuv min haka'as. So what exactly is the din of ka'as? So if you go back to perek beis in Hilchos De'os,

וכן הכעס מדה רעה היא עד מאד וראוי לאדם שיתרחק ממנה עד הקצה האחר.

Right, ka'as like ga'avah is also where you don't go the middle path but you go all the way to the extreme.

וילמד עצמו שלא יכעוס ואפילו על דבר שראוי לכעוס עליו.

It's a funny lashon. If you're not supposed to get angry, what do you mean it's a דבר שראוי לכעוס עליו? You shouldn't eat that shtickel neveilah even though, even though it's raui to eat it. It's not raui to eat it because it's assur ba'achilah. It's not raui to eat it. What do you mean? It's a very... no, it's a funny lashon that

וילמד עצמו שלא יכעוס ואפילו על דבר שראוי לכעוס עליו.

So just agav, the impression you get is the Rambam is saying the following, that the emes is in theory, in theory, there are things a person is supposed to get angry about. There are devarim which in theory metzad hadin are re'uyim lichos aleihen. Ella mai, the midah of ka'as is so destructive and so, so uncontrollable, that's why it's assur to be ko'es even על דבר שראוי לכעוס עליו. It's not that the vort that there's nothing to get angry about, no, it's rather a pshat that human nature is such that a person can prevent himself from ka'as, but once a person is ko'es, a person cannot insulate himself from the destructive force of ka'as. And v'ha'ra'ayah, Chazal say, Chazal point that out about Moshe Rabbeinu, that wherever he was ko'es he ba l'lal to'us. ויקצוף משה על פקודי החיל, so then it's vayomer Elazar hakohen, that nistalkah mimenu, nistalkah mimenu halachah. Those who learn that the cheit by Mei Merivah wasn't ka'as, but it was precipitated by ka'as. So that's what the Rambam seems to be saying, that the emes is that really in theory the din is there are things which we're supposed to be ko'es about. But a person can't harness ka'as. Other feelings, emotions, a person can harness. Ka'as a person can't harness. So it's clear in the Rambam, let's just continue,

אם רצה להטיל אימה על בניו ובני ביתו או על הציבור אם היה פרנס ורצה לכעוס עליהם כדי שיחזרו למוטב, יראה עצמו בפניהם שהוא כועס כדי לייסרם ותהיה דעתו מיושבת בינו לבין עצמו כאדם שהוא מדמה כועס בשעת כעסו ואינו כועס.

A person at times will feign anger if to machzir others l'mutav he needs to display anger, so it should be, he should be acting. He should be an actor. V'hu eino ko'es. So it's clear according to the Rambam that to do teshuvah on ka'as means to reach a stage where a person not only he doesn't act on the ka'as, not only he doesn't speak with anger, but he doesn't feel it. Doesn't feel it. Fine. So on Vav Tishrei, on Vav Tishrei I'm looking in the mirror, and finally I'm honest enough with myself to say, you know, I'm a ka'asan. And I takeh have a bushah and a charatah, and I can say that asisi kach v'kach, that חטאתי פשעתי עויתי לפניך, and bifrat b'middas haka'as. But is it real to say that לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה אפילו כחו זה? I don't know if we can so... That's what we spoke about, I think, in the beginning of perek hey, that there are things which are a process, a person has to mitaher atzmo. So that's why lich'orah there is a tzad to say that when the Rambam says that there's teshuvah and doesn't say this viduy because it's not clear when would you say it? When would you say לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה? Okay, so now I've been working on middas haka'as for three years. Now am I ready to say it? When, when am I going to say? So I don't know. So hadavar tzarich talmud, is there a mitzvas viduy, is there a chiyuv viduy on de'os as well? Could be. Could be. Could be. Could be. Halacha Hey here in Zayin Hey.

כל הנביאים כולם צוו על התשובה ואין ישראל נגאלין אלא בתשובה וכבר הבטיחה תורה שסוף ישראל לעשות תשובה בסוף גלותן ומיד הן נגאלין שנאמר והיה כי יבואו עליך כל הדברים ושבת עד ה' אלקיך ושב ה' אלקיך.

I think it's in, in one of the, the Derashos in, in Al HaTeshuvah, so the Rav has an amazing comment based on this Rambam. Again, it's, it's Ma'amarei Chazal. So one of the, the questions which a person is asked L'Asid L'Vo is Tzipisa L'Yeshua? Tzipisa L'Yeshua. Did a person long for the Geulah? Long for the Geulah? And so Mistama from time to time we, we need to think a little bit about that and try to figure out how we, how we're M'orer that, that Tzipiyah. So says the Rav, if it's true, as it is, that אין ישראל נגאלין אלא בתשובה, that means that a person can only legitimately and for real be Metzapeh L'Yeshua if he has a certain sense of optimism about his fellow Jews. But if a person thinks that, that everyone, everyone's Michutz Lamachaneh and there's no, they're all whatever, it spells the end of Tzipiyah L'Yeshua. You can't have Tzipiyah L'Yeshua without, without optimism about Klal Yisrael. Without, without feeling this confidence that Klal Yisrael is, is going to rise to the challenge of doing Teshuvah. Because Tzipisa L'Yeshua, you can't be Metzapeh L'Yeshua if you don't believe in Yeshua. There's not going to be a Yeshua without Teshuvah. It's an amazing He'arah. Halacha Vav.

גדולה תשובה שמקרבת האדם לשכינה שנאמר שובה ישראל עד ה' אלקיך ונאמר ולא שבתם עדי נאום ה' ונאמר אם תשוב ישראל נאום ה' אלי תשוב. כלומר אם תחזור בתשובה בי תדבק. התשובה מקרבת את הרחוקים.

So, so look at this now.

אמש היה זה שנאוי לפני המקום משוקץ ומרוחק ותועבה והיום הוא אהוב ונחמד קרוב וידיד.

Skip for a second to Halacha Zayin.

כמה מעולה מעלת התשובה אמש היה זה מובדל מה' אלקי ישראל שנאמר עונותיכם היו מבדילים ביניכם לבין אלקיכם צועק ואינו נענה שנאמר כי תרבו תפילה אינני שומע עושה מצוות וטורפין אותן בפניו שנאמר מי ביקש זאת מידכם רמוס חצרי מי גגם לכם ויסגור דלתיים והיום הוא מודבק בשכינה שנאמר ואתם הדבקים בה' אלקיכם.

The Rav has a Gevaldige, Gevaldige Diuk in both of these Halachos. When the Rambam is describing the person before he does Teshuvah, both in the Halachos Vav and Zayin, it's אמש היה זה שנאוי לפני המקום. Halacha Zayin. היה זה מובדל מה' אלקי ישראל. After he does Teshuvah, היום הוא אהוב ונחמד. היום הוא מודבק בשכינה. Gevaldige He'arah. That, that as long as a person is a Chotei, Zeh. It's Zeh that you would use to refer, I don't know, Ich Veiss, to a, to a non-person. To a, and then after a Teshuvah he's not a Zeh anymore. Now, now he's a Hu. Now, now he's a Gavrah. Gevaldige He'arah. The Rav also says there that, that he thinks that this again, the, the lyricism and, and all the poetry notwithstanding that the Rambam here is saying a Halacha. Dehainu, the Rambam says that

אמש היה זה שנאוי לפני המקום היום הוא אהוב נחמד קרוב וידיד.

Halacha Zayin. Or Halacha Daled,

אל ידמה אדם בעל תשובה שהוא מרוחק ממעלת הצדיקים מפני העוונות והחטאים שעשה אין הדבר כן אלא אהוב ונחמד הוא לפני הבורא כאילו לא חטא מעולם.

And all this happens again, the Rambam also dramatizes it by emesh, right? It can happen overnight. Last night he was zeh who was a sanui and hayom, this morning, what happened to the chilukei kapparah? Maybe he has to wait for Yom Kippur, maybe he has to wait rachmana litzlan for yisurin, maybe for misa. So the Rav says he thinks that the Rambam in Perek Zayin is describing teshuvah mei'ahavah and that the Rambam holds that by teshuvah mei'ahavah there's no chilukei kapparah, the teshuvah itself erases everything if a person is zocheh to a teshuvah mei'ahavah. Halacha Ches:

בעלי תשובה דרכם להיות שפלים וענווים ביותר אם חרפו אותן הכסילים במעשיהם הראשונים ואמרו להן אמש היית עושה כך וכך אמש היית אומר כך וכך אל ירגישו להן אלא שומעין ושמחים ויודעין שזו זכות להן שכל זמן שהם בושים ממעשיהם שעברו ונכלמים מהן זכותם מרובה ומעלתם מתגדלת.

So here the Rambam's lashon is boshim mima'aseihem, right? Back in Aleph Aleph and by the nusach haviduy it was boshti bema'asai, right? The preposition there was the beis, here it's a mem. So lichora the simple pshat is as follows. So let's say משל למה הדבר דומה. Let's say you have a person who was being careless, who was being reckless, so he's smoking in bed, he falls asleep with a lit cigarette and because of that the whole house, the bedspread catches fire, the whole house burns down. Okay. And then he's standing there, so the fire department comes, they're able to extinguish the flames, shayach. So he's standing there amongst the smoldering ruins of his home. So then yitachen that a person would say that boshti bema'asai. It's almost as if he's still standing in the maiseh themselves. Let's say it's now five years later. He's thinking back. The house has already been rebuilt and he gave up smoking and he now has sprinklers in the ceiling, everything's been rebuilt. So now already lichora it won't be a bechina of boshti bema'asai, it would be boshim mima'aseihem. Mima'aseihem. So in Perek Aleph again a person's being misvadeh, it means he's just now completing the teshuvah process with the viduy. He's still completing the process, it's boshti bema'asai. He's standing in the ruins of the house. He's standing amidst the cheit. He hasn't been miskaper yet. He's just now saying the viduy. He hasn't been miskaper yet. Here the ba'al teshuvah in Perek Zayin is someone who's already been miskaper. Here the boshes says I'm thinking back to five years ago when I set the house on fire because of my reckless behavior. That's a bechina of boshim mima'aseihem. There is a little bit of a paradox here by the ba'alei teshuvah. On the one hand, klapei shamaya galya the Rambam tells us, again quoting Chazal or one opinion in Chazal, that

מקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד כלומר מעלתם גדולה ממעלת אלו שלא חטאו מעולם.

Me'idach gisa, בעלי תשובה דרכם להיות שפלים וענווים ביותר and basically forever they should be boshim mima'aseihem and nichlamim. So a little bit of a paradox. So maybe two possible... Perspectives on it.

עיקר הענוה הוא בסבלנות שלא להרגיש מעשיו הטובים שפעל וערך מעלותיו שהשיג וכל אשר יגדלו פעולותיו ומעלותיו בשכלו ירבה להכיר גדולתו יתברך שמו כן רוח אלהים תוסיף תת כח הרגש חסרונו וכשרואה שמתעסק בעיני האנשים לכבדו מצטמק ורע לו על המעשה ומחשב לחסרונותיו להקטין עצמו לבלתי ירום לבבו

And then he describes how his father embodied that. So Bitzla says that ikar anavah is that a person there's a certain innocence that a person has of being unaware of his own madreiga.

עיקר הענוה שלא להרגיש מעשיו הטובים שפעל וערך מעלותיו שהשיג

How is it possible to do that? How is it possible to be oblivious to it? So Bitzla explains because the more a person does, the more he's מכיר גדולת הקדוש ברוך הוא which allows him to be more aware of his chesronos. איך ווייס א משל למה הדבר דומה A person learns an extra five blatt Gemara. In the course of learning those five blatt Gemara, he becomes aware of another 50 inyanim in Shas that he never knew existed before that he realizes that he doesn't know anything about. So yeah, so does he know that he learned another five blatt? Yeah. But now if you ask him sort of what percent of the way is he towards being a baki in Shas, kol hadrei Shas, so mistama now he'll tell you having learned five blatt, if yesterday he thought he was 8% of the way there, so now he'll tell you nah I think I'm only 4% of the way there. So there is this possibility and according to Bitzla that's what anavah means. That there's a certain innocence because the closer a person comes to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the smaller he feels. So that allows that even though again both klapei Shamaya and klapei bnei adam, this person is הולך וגדל עד כי גדל מאד but he himself won't be מרגיש במעשיו הטובים שפעל. Yeah, he knows. Did he go today for bikkur cholim? Did he go for nichum aveilim? Was he involved in hachnasas kallah? He knows. But the closer he gets to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the more he feels that whatever he does is so much more that he should have been doing. Again, in learning the extra five blatt he now becomes aware of another 50 inyanim that he never knew existed. So yitachen, yitachen that this same type of paradox is true for the baal teshuvah as well. The emes is yeah, במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד. But mistama the more of a baal teshuvah a person becomes and because he comes closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, so the more shafel and anav he feels and the more of a busha that he still has for what he did. Okay, just one last ha'arah about the last three prakim in. Almost finished the masechta. Maseches Pe'ah. Be'ezras Hashem. The Nesivos Shalom has a gevaldige gevaldige he'ora here. Says what's this doing in Hilchos Teshuva? He says there's no more talk about teshuva here. I don't think so. It's like when you're listening to the Megilla, you want to know when the last Haman's going to be when you should really clap. When's the last, when's the last time? So when's the last time the Rambam's talking about teshuva in Hilchos Teshuva? So basically the last time, I think the last time he's talking about teshuva in Hilchos Teshuva is in perek zayin. So what's Olam Habah and what oved me'ahava means? So what's דברים העומדים ברומו של עולם, what's it doing in Hilchos Teshuva? So says the Nesivos Shalom, he says cause ultimately what teshuva is about is again שובה ישראל עד ה' אלקיך. And again after all the pirtei pratim of the halachos of the mitzva, at the end of the day teshuva means to be with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So mimaila that's what teshuva's about. So where does that happen? What type of avoda in Olam Hazeh is indicative of that and where's the ultimate place where that happens? So avada the Rambam's gonna talk about Olam Habah and oved me'ahava here in Hilchos Teshuva. א גוטן יום טוב, א גמר חתימה טובה.