Pre-Selichos 5783

During Chodesh Elul, many of us become aware of or are reminded of an acute problem. We miss, we have chataim, we are deficient in character, we are flawed. We know that. We also know ואם לא עכשיו אימתי. And yet, Elul progresses, seemingly or maybe actually without any response on our part. Teshuva can be done in one intense moment, but more often and more realistically, it's a process requiring work. It's an avodas hateshuva. What to do? Where does the hisorerus come from? So maybe the response is, without hisorerus, just do it. So two reactions to that. First of all, we see l'maiseh too often that it just doesn't work that way. Second of all, the nature of teshuva is such that it's not really possible to do teshuva without hisorerus. When Rabbeinu Yona, for instance, describes the sense of anguish that should inform the teshuva, that should propel and inform the teshuva, Yishtonen kilyosav,

ויחשב כמה רבה רעת מי שהמרה יוצרו, ויגדיל יגון בלבבו וסער מתחולל ברעיוניו.

It should be like a tempestuous storm that's raging. But that's what a person's inner life is supposed to be as part of the process of teshuva, it certainly requires a hisorerus. And in truth, Rabbeinu Yona devoted Sha'ar Sheni in Sha'arei Teshuva to this question, to this problem, how a person is awakened, is impelled to do teshuva. But as is our wont, we'll maybe we'll have occasion a little bit to look at the Rabbeinu Yona, but primarily we're going to try to glean an answer from the Rambam. But with the following modaa, there's no magical answer, no answer that is going to substitute for spiritual exertion on our part. The Rambam writes in Perek Hey of Hilchos Teshuva, Halacha Bais,

אל יעבור במחשבתך דבר זה שאומרים טפשי אומות העולם ורוב גולמי בני ישראל,

don't even for a moment let enter even a fleeting thought שהקדוש ברוך הוא גוזר על האדם, predestination, that things are predetermined. Ein hadavar kein.

אלא כל אדם ראוי לו להיות צדיק כמשה רבנו או רשע כירבעם, ואין לו מי שיכפהו ולא גוזר עליו ולא מי שמושכו לאחד משני הדרכים אלא הוא מעצמו ומדעתו נוטה לאיזו דרך שירצה.

A person is sovereign over himself. A person behaves as he chooses to behave. הוא שירמיהו אמר, this is what Yirmeyahu Hanavi says in Megillas Eichah,

מפי עליון לא תצא הרעות והטוב, כלומר אין הבורא גוזר על האדם להיות טוב ולא להיות רע.

If we act badly rachmana litzlan, Hakadosh Baruch Hu didn't decree that. If we act well, Hakadosh Baruch Hu didn't decree that either. וכיון שכן הוא, because we have autonomy, נמצא זה החוטא הוא הפסיד את עצמו. So in the event that we abuse that privilege and fail to live up to that responsibility, נמצא זה החוטא הוא הפסיד את עצמו. He's responsible for his own shortcomings. U'lefi-chach ra'uy. And therefore he should cry and lament over his sins and what he's inflicted upon himself, the self-inflicted damage. Hu shekasav acharav, again you have the psukim right underneath it, that's the next pasuk in Eicha. מה יתאונן אדם חי גבר על חטאיו? What does a person mourn for? A person mourns over his sins. Vechazar ve'amar הואיל ורשותנו בידינו ומדעתנו עשינו כל הרעות, since we have the capacity to act freely, we're free agents, ראוי לנו לחזור בתשובה ולעזוב רשענו. So we need to do tshuvah, שהרשות עתה בידינו, because we still maintain that capacity for freedom of action. Hu shekasav acharav, and that's the third pasuk in this sequence, נחפשה דרכינו ונחקרה ונשובה עד ה׳. So a very simple question, rabosai. Why does Yirmeyahu Hanavi need pasuk lamed-tes? מפי עליון לא תצא הרעות והטוב establishes personal responsibility, that since there is bechirah, so then mimmela the flip side to that, the corollary to bechirah, is accountability and responsibility. Given that responsibility and accountability, נחפשה דרכינו ונחקרה ונשובה עד ה׳. So that's mechaiev in tshuvah. Yedias hachet is what's mechaiev in tshuvah. But it seems clear that the way the Rambam explains the sequence of psukim is that Yirmeyahu Hanavi is addressing our question. If a person is looking, a person needs to be awakened, he needs to be aroused to do tshuvah, so מה יתאונן אדם חי גבר על חטאיו. Let a person reflect on the consequences, the corollary, the fallout of cheit. It should elicit, the Rambam translates that the yis'onen should express itself in crying and lamenting, and that will awaken him to tshuvah. It's interesting the Rambam's choice of words is very telling. לפיכך ראוי לו לבכות ולקונן על חטאו. The Rambam often uses ra'uy to present something which is a natural obligation, one that doesn't even need a pasuk, one that's self-evident in sevarah. And even though the Rambam's commenting on the pasuk, but the point is that this pasuk isn't some kind of gzeiras hakasuv which isn't intuitive to us. No, the pasuk is merely reinforcing what should be a natural reaction. Ra'uy lo. It's self-evident, it's compelling in sevarah, that a person's reaction to cheit should be one of bechi, should be one of crying, and from that bechi, he'll be me'orer to do tshuvah. But let's try to understand a little bit more here. Famous Rambam about tekias shofar. Tekias shofar is a wake-up call to tshuvah.

עורו עורו ישנים משנתכם ונרדמים הקיצו מתרדמתכם וחפשו במעשיכם וחזרו בתשובה וזכרו בוראכם.

Awaken from your sleep, be aroused from your slumber, scrutinize your actions, repent, remember Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

אלו השוכחים את האמת בהבלי הזמן ושוגים כל שנותם בהבל וריק אשר לא יועיל ולא יציל.

Have Habitu lenafshoteichem. Let's translate that for the moment as look to your souls. What does the Rambam have in mind? What does the Rambam want us to see when Habitu lenafshoteichem, when we look to our nefashos? What is it that we should be seeing? The Rambam in Perek Ches of Hilchos Teshuva when he talks about ultimate schar ve'onesh, he says the ultimate schar is Chayei Olam Haba, the ultimate onesh rachmana litzlan is if a person would lose that chelek in Olam Haba. And then the Rambam says וכל מי שאינו זוכה לחיים אלו, one who doesn't merit Chayei Olam Haba, הוא המת שאינו חי לעולם. He's the one who dies and the death is is permanent. Ela nichras berisho, he's cut off in his wickedness ve'avad kebeheima and he perishes like an animal. וזהו כרת הכתובה בתורה שנאמר הכרת תכרת. And this is the kares that's referred to when you have that double lashon of kares. Not when you have a single lashon of kares, but when you have the double lashon of kares of hikareis tikareis. Why does the Rambam have that phrase ve'avad kebeheima? It seems like a gratuitous insult, right? The Rambam's describing the ultimate schar is Olam Haba, the ultimate onesh is kares, and then it's as if the Rambam is, you know, as the guy's being led off to meet his fate, so the Rambam is, you know, he's throwing a rotten tomato at him. And he's telling him you're a vilda chaya. ve'avad kebeheima. What what what's the Rambam communicating with that phrase? The essence of a person, the Rambam tells us in Perek Daled of Yesodei Hatorah, the particulars of the Rambam's conception of of the nefesh, of the soul, are not material to us at the moment, so we're gonna gloss over that. The essence of a person is the nefesh, היא צורתו שנתן לו האל. That's the essential element, the defining quality of the person. And this nefesh is not composite of physical elements, it's not really dependent, it isn't dependent upon the body, Halacha Tes, אלא מאת השם מן השמים. It's what the Torah refers to vayipach be'apav, that we're b'tzelem Elokim. And therefore, even when a person dies, לא תכרת הצורה הזאת. The soul is eternal, ועומדת לעולם ולעולמי עולמים, and it exists for all eternity.

הוא שאמר שלמה בחכמתו וישב העפר על הארץ כשהיה והרוח,

the spirit, the soul, תשוב אל האלוקים אשר נתנה. To be human, Hakadosh Baruch Hu created us that to be human is to have a capacity, a destiny of nitzchius. The essence of of a human being is this nefesh, which potentially is on track, is destined to live le'olam ule'olmei olamim. When the Rambam writes ve'avad kebeheima, the Rambam is underscoring that if a person, the nefesh with which Hakadosh Baruch Hu endowed us is such that it's an aberration for the person not to merit nitzchius. The nefesh is is so great and so sublime and so holy that a person with such a nefesh is on track for nitzchius. When the Rambam says ve'avad kebeheima, he's characterizing what happens. He's not he's not hurling an insult at the person. He's characterizing that not to merit the nitzchius is subhuman. It's a characterization. The Rambam said in Hilchos Shofar... Habitu l'nafshoseichem, right? When in Hilchos Teshuva, when we hear the sound of the shofar, so it's a call to tell us Habitu l'nafshoseichem. What does Habitu mean? So the Rambam tells us what Habitu means. If you take a look, the Rambam in the Moreh writes, the Rambam discusses three different words, each of which connote on the physical level vision, ra'ah, hibbit, and chazah, and explains what they mean in a non-physical sense as well. So the Rambam says, וכן הביט נופל על ההבטה בעין הדבר, al tabbit acharecha, vatabbet ishto me'acharav, that its initial meaning again is physical sight. But then והושאל על הבטת השכל והשקפתו, right, in English we have that idiom also, right, I see what you mean. So we use vision to refer to understanding, to grasping something. והושאל על הבטת השכל והשקפתו. Here comes the crucial phrase, rabbosai, על התבוננות הדבר עד שישיגהו. So habbata, unlike re'iyah, doesn't just mean a casual glance. Habbata means to look and to reflect until the person understands. It's not something that can be immediately grasped. It's something that requires hisbonenus. It requires reflection. And only upon reflection can the person apprehend, ad sheyashigehu, can the person understand. Habitu l'nafshoseichem. Not not a casual glance at the nefesh, but look at that sublime nefesh you have, right? A call of shofar, Habitu l'nafshoseichem. Bi-misbonen, reflect on the nefesh, on how sublime it is, נפש מאת השם מן השמים, and that's what the person is being mafsid through cheit. Habitu l'nafshoseichem. That naturally engenders bechi, crying, which in turn gives way to teshuva. The dialectic of teshuva is that the process of being machnia oneself, of lowering oneself and doing teshuva, is triggered by recognizing the incredible potential and the sublimeness of the soul. When a person recognizes what his potential is, when a person Habitu l'nafshoseichem, reflects until he appreciates and understands the way he could live, the way he could act, so that recognition of potential gadlus ha-adam triggers the sense of shiflus, which is the beginning of the process of teshuva. Let's perhaps look to some other of the chachmei ha-masora in response to the Rambam's charge of Habitu l'nafshoseichem, התבוננות בדבר עד שישיגהו, to reflect until one appreciates, accurately apprehends. Rabbeinu Yonah in Sha'arei Teshuva, Sha'ar Beis, Os Chof-Aleph, ומי שחננו השם יתברך דעה, whoever Ha-Kadosh Baruch Hu has graced with knowledge, with understanding, Yashiv el libo, he'll focus upon the following:

כי השם יתברך שלחו בעולם הזה לשמור משמרתו ותורתו וחוקיו ומצוותיו. ולא יפקח עיניו זולת לעשות שליחותו.

Rabbeinu Yonah has remarkable frames life remarkably, says life is a shlichus, life is a mission, it's a shlichus. Chanano Hashem yisborach. Hashem chanano Hashem Yisborach השם יתברך שלחו בעולם הזה. It's a shlichus כעבד אשר שלחו המלך like the servant whom the melech entrusted with a mission. Rabbeinu Yonah elaborates this in his peirush on Mishlei commenting on a sequence of pesukim

והתבונן כי המשל על מלאכת התורה והמצוות על שלוחו ועל שליחותם

ki hamachzikim bahem those who hold firm who hold tenaciously onto mitzvos shluchei Hashem the emissaries of Hakadosh Baruch Hu ככתוב וישלחך השם בדרך Shmuel tells Shaul Hakadosh Baruch Hu made you a shliach. Moshe Rabbeinu says כי השם שלחני לעשות. Mitzvah for Rabbeinu Yonah implies shlichus. A mitzvah a command Rabbeinu Yonah says means that Hakadosh Baruch Hu sends the person on a mission. The Rav zichrono livracha has a drasha which is summarized in Yemei Zikaron where he talks about this theme of shlichus and he says the difference between a person and a malach is only that the malach is programmed. But a person is also a malach in the sense of being a shliach of having been entrusted with a shlichus. Every one of us is a shliach of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Again habitu lenafshosechem the chashivus the potential chashivus and then contrast that with the reality and that spurs the process of teshuvah. One other perspective on the habitu that's what the Gemara in Niddah famously says that before the baby is born so a shevuah is administered

תהי צדיק ומה היא השבועה שמשביעין אותו תהי צדיק ואל תהי רשע.

So to whom is a shevuah administered? So we know from the Mishna in Yoma right when the Kohen Gadol who's the shliach of Klal Yisrael to try to effect kapparah on Yom Kippurim so Beis Din used to be mashpia him.

אישי כהן גדול אנו שלוחי בית דין ואתה שלוחנו ושליח בית דין משביעין אנו עליך.

We're imposing a shevuah on you. A shliach can have a shevuah imposed upon him.

משביעים אנו עליך במי ששיכן שמו בבית הזה שלא תשנה דבר מכל מה שאמרנו לך.

So we too every one of us before being born also since we're shluchim a shevuah was administered to us. habitu lenafshosechem. One final perspective from another one of the chachmei hamusar in terms of reflecting on the greatness the sublimeness of the nefesh. Rav Chaim Volozhiner writes in Nefesh Hachayim

וזאת תורת האדם כל איש ישראל אל יאמר בלבו חס ושלום

a person should never ever chas veshalom say כי מה אני ומה כחי what am I and with what capacities am I endowed לפעול במעשי השפלים שום עניין בעולם. What I do is inconsequential. Doesn't make a difference. אמנם יבין וידע ויקבע במחשבות לבו a person should understand he should understand it well and then he should internalize it

שכל פרטי מעשיו ודבריו ומחשבותיו כל עת ורגע לא יאבדו חס ושלום.

Everything a person does reverberates. Everything a person does registers on high. Everything leaves an imprint, everything makes an impact. In the He'arah, so Rav Chaim Volozhin goes on to famously suggest

וקרוב לשמוע שגם זה בכלל כוונתם באבות דע מה למעלה ממך,

that in addition to the simple pshat, so Nefesh Hachaim suggests that it should be punctuated and understood דע מה למעלה ממך. What's above in all the celestial realms, that comes from you. It's a result of your actions. Teda ne'emana, it's al pi maasecha. The Rambam says, לפיכך ראוי לבכות ולקונן על חטאיו. We should cry. When does a person cry? When do we... it's not a sort of deliberate reaction. So what is it that elicits that reaction of bechi from us? So we know in halacha when one's supposed to cry. An avel rachmana litzlan is supposed to cry, not excessively, but he is supposed to cry. The halacha is the Rambam quotes from Gmara Moed Katan, shlosha yamim labechi. The first three days, the avel is supposed to be crying. A person cries when he feels bereft. That's when a person cries. In Hilchos Taniyos, speaking of the Seuda Hamafsekes before Tisha B'Av, the Rambam says, חסידים הראשונים כך היתה מידתן. This is how the chasidim harishonim would conduct themselves erev Tisha B'Av in the afternoon. היו מביאין לו לאדם פת חריבה במלח ושורה במים, and it was so hard that he had to soak it in water, ויושב בין תנור וכיריים. He sat in the most undignified place, squeezes himself in between the different types of stove oven tops. V'ochla and he eats that piece of stale bread,

ושותה לו קיתון של מים בדאגה ובשיממון ובבכיה כמי שמתו מוטל לפניו.

Shimamon, a sense of being desolate, which is the same sense of כמי שמתו מוטל לפניו. That's when a person cries, when a person feels bereft. But when the chotei is crying, so what is he... what is he bereft? Mah yisonen? Yisonen is synonymous with aveilus. The Rambam in Hilchos Maaser Sheni talks about איזהו אונן המתאבל על אחד משבעה קרובים. The chotei is crying, is being misabel for himself. When a person realizes, and how can one not realize, one's chata'im, מה יתאונן אדם חי, the person is misabel. Aveilus translates, expresses itself through bechi. And what's he crying? The occasion was the chata'im, but what's he crying? For whom is he crying? For whom is he being misabel? Mah yisonen? He's being misabel for himself, hifsid es atzmo. And the Rambam says, in the Rambam we began with, נמצא זה החוטא הוא הפסיד את עצמו. In philosophical terminology, hifsid doesn't just mean a loss, the way we speak of hefsid merubeh financial loss, but it refers to lack of existence. Lack of metzius is referred to in philosophical... That stark realization of the self damage inflicted by cheit has to has to stir a person to teshuva. It it doesn't doesn't Rachmana Litzlan shouldn't a person shouldn't get stuck at that stage. It shouldn't induce some kind of paralysis. That's what the Rambam says חזר ואמר כל רשותנו בידינו. The same capacity that we misused, that we abused in in being chotei, we still have that same capacity. That same capacity of להטות עצמו לדרך טובה, we still have that. וחזר ואמר כל רשותנו בידינו ראוי לנו לחזור בתשובה. The Rambam in two places speaks of tochacha being administered in very very very harshly. So in Perek Daled Hilchos Teshuva Halacha Beis, Perek Daled as you recall is devoted to the כ״ד דברים המעכבים את התשובה. 24 things which impede teshuva. One of those 24 is shonei es hatochachos, a person who hates rebuke. שהרי לא הניח לו דרך תשובה because if a person doesn't allow for rebuke, then how's he going to find the path for teshuva?

שהתוכחה גורמת לתשובה שבזמן שמודיעים לו לאדם חטאו ומכלמים אותו.

When a person is informed of his chata'av and makhlimin oso. Makhlimin consistently in the Rambam and Rabbeinu Yona it's also like this, Rabbeinu Yona says so explicitly, busha means embarrassment, klima means humiliation, much more intense. So

בזמן שמודיעים לו לאדם חטאו ומכלמים אותו, ואז הוא חוזר בתשובה. כמו שכתוב בתורה זכור אל תשכח ממרים הייתם ולא נתן השם לכם לב עם נבל ולא חכם וכן ישעיהו הוכיח את ישראל ואמר הוי גוי חוטא.

So Rambam speaks of tochacha again being administered very very harshly, makhlimin oso. And he has it he has it he said it earlier as well. Ha'mochiach in Hilchos Deios, the Rambam writes

המוכיח את חברו תחילה לא ידבר לו קשות עד שיכלימנו.

Certainly the initial tochacha shouldn't be given harshly and and shouldn't humiliate the person.

שנאמר ולא תשא עליו חטא. כך אמרו חכמים יכול אתה מוכיחו ופניו משתנות תלמוד לומר ולא תשא עליו חטא מכאן שאסור לאדם להכלים את ישראל וכל שכן ברבים.

Lefikach tzarich adam skipping a line

להיזהר שלא לבייש חברו ברבים מן קטן מן גדול. במה דברים אמורים בדברים שבין אדם לחברו אבל בדברי שמיים אם לא חזר בו בסתר,

if tochacha was given in private and and the person didn't respond, he rebuffs the tochacha, makhlimin oso barabbim. Again not just embarrassed, again obviously the Rambam is talking לפי המקום לפי הזמן that that this will be an effective measure.

מכלמים אותו ברבים ומפרסמים חטאו ומחרפים אותו ומבזים ומקללים אותו עד שיחזור למוטב

until he'll do teshuva כמו שעשו כל הנביאים בישראל. The pshat in this very very sobering passage in the Rambam, the Rambam's describing not only sort of of the persistence of the mocheiach, the Rambam's describing what elicits teshuva from an individual when the person has that sense of הוא הפסיד את עצמו. When a person understands the full consequence of cheit, then he does teshuva. And that's why when the Rambam is talking in such extreme and frighteningly harsh terms, what the Rambam is conveying is that the klima is commensurate with the self-damage inflicted by cheit. And that's what the mocheiach is communicating. It's not only sort of the persistence, it's not only a shiur in what the mocheiach has to do, it's a way of gauging the effects of cheit. It's a way of depicting the effects of cheit. The Abarbanel says that in addition to the drashos Chazal, but what it means when the Torah says that Yom Kippurim there's a mitzvah of v'inisem es nafshoseichem, so the Abarbanel says the pshuto shel mikra is that the affliction means the anguish that a person experiences as he does teshuva. Understandably, we shy away from such stark realities. But in a healthy sense, it's necessary to confront, to be aware of, and to acknowledge those realities.

ראוי לו לבכות ולקונן נמצא זה החוטא הוא הפסיד את עצמו. ראוי לו לבכות ולקונן על חטאו ועל מה שעשה לנפשו ולגמלו רעה.

Yirmiyahu Hanavi says if we skip that step of taking stock of what the fallout from cheit is, we're not going to be awakened and we're not going to be aroused to the נחפשה דרכינו ונחקורה ונשובה עד ה'. Habitu l'nafshoseichem, a person has to be misbonen, Habitu l'nafshoseichem the greatness of the nefesh and how it's being treated until now. And that habata means a person has to be misbonen. It's an avoda. It's not something that, it's taxing, it's an avoda. And chas v'shalom a person is not supposed to get stuck in that stage. It's ho'il v'shusheni b'yadeinu, the same capacity זה לעומת זה עשה אלקים, whenever a person sees the magnitude of cheit, it's a reminder to him of what the capacity is for the magnitude of teshuva and ma'asim tovim. But we need to focus on that and we need to engage in that honest self-appraisal of נמצא זה החוטא הוא הפסיד את עצמו because Because that's what bridges the מפי עליון לא תצא הרעות והטוב and the נחפשה דרכינו ונחקורה ונשובה עד השם. It's something we know and it needs to be sustained to make its impression upon us. The biggest, one of the biggest obstacles we have in the context of doing teshuvah, and the same is true in general in life, is we're too easily distracted. But this is a thought that a person needs to hold. Needs to hold. He needs to hold until he experiences it deeply, to the depths of his being, and then, having hit bottom, so then the person again is reminded that hakol bi'reshuteinu u'vi'yadeinu, that same capacity to fall, that's the capacity to pick oneself up. The Rambam writes in the Moreh that when a person finishes doing teshuvah, it doesn't restore the status quo ante, but he improves upon it. That the person emerges from the teshuvah process not where he was before chet, but he emerges on a higher madreigah than he was before the chet. We should all be zocher. Have a good day.