Pre-Selichos 5773

כל מצות שבתורה, all mitzvot in the Torah, בין עשה בין לא תעשה, whether positive or negative commandments, אם עבר אדם על אחת מהן, if a person violates any one of them, בין בזדון בין בשגגה, whether willfully, whether unintentionally, כשיעשה תשובה וישוב מחטאו, when he repents from his sin, חייב להתודות לפני הקל ברוך הוא. He has to make a declaration, an affirmation before Hakadosh Baruch Hu, שנאמר איש או אשה כי יעשו מכל חטאת האדם, man or woman who will commit any sin, lama'ol ma'al ba-Hashem to betray Hakadosh Baruch Hu, ve-ashem-ah ha-nefesh ha-hi, and the soul will incur guilt, והתודו את חטאתם אשר עשו. They should confess their sin, make a declaration, zeh viduy devarim. וידוי זה מצות עשה. This viduy constitutes a mitzvot aseh. Keitzad mitvadin? What is a model, an example for what the viduy should contain? Omer ana Hashem. Ana, a word which expresses beseeching, חטאתי עויתי פשעתי לפניך. I've sinned before You, unintentionally, intentionally, rebelliously, ve-asiti kach ve-kach, and one specifies the specific sin, והריני נחמתי ובושתי במעשי. I feel a sense of remorse and embarrassment over my actions, ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה, and I unequivocally resolve to never ever regress and Rachmana litzlan repeat the chet. זהו עיקרו של וידוי. This is the essence of viduy. In פרק ב' הלכה ז' וח', the Rambam writes, יום הכפורים הוא זמן תשובה לכל, Yom Kippur is a time for teshuvah, teshuvah to be carried out, implemented individually and also collectively, le-yachid u-le-rabbim, והוא קץ מחילה וסליחה לישראל. It's a time of forgiveness, לפיכך חייבין הכל לעשות תשובה ולהתודות ביום הכפורים. Consequently all are obligated to do teshuvah and to say viduy on Yom Kippur. In Halacha chet, the Rambam writes, הוידוי שנהגו בו כל ישראל אבל חטאנו וגו'. The ve-gomer apparently, this is how the Lechem Mishneh who didn't even have the benefit of that manuscript understands that chatanu, avinu, pashanu. That the viduy of Yom Kippur, the Rambam says that the ikar ha-viduy is simply that a person says aval. Aval means in truth. Aval ashemim anachnu, the brothers say. Aval, in truth, בקושטא חטאנו עוינו פשענו. And then the Rambam uses the very same phrase, ve-hu ikar ha-viduy. There are three points of discrepancy. The viduy of Yom Kippur, the Rambam doesn't prescribe the kabbalah la-ba, ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. The viduy of Yom Kippur does not require perut ha-chet, doesn't require that one specify those chata'im for which he is being chozer bi-teshuvah. And the viduy on Yom Kippur doesn't require the expression of nechama u-vusha, of remorse and humiliation. The impression conveyed in the Rambam pretty clearly is that the viduy of Yom Kippur that he describes here in Perek Bet is the only viduy that one needs to say on Yom Kippur. It's not that this is an additional viduy and that it's understood that one will also be reciting the viduy of פרק א הלכה א which contains these other elements, but the distinct impression is that this bare-boned viduy, this minimal viduy of אבל חטאנו אבינו פשענו suffices. And in fact, that's certainly our custom in terms of our seder hatfilla that we never once in the machzor for all the ten viduyis that we say be'ezrat hashem over the course of Yom Hakippurim, so never once do we have a viduy which complies with the requirements as set forth in פרק א הלכה א, דלעולם אין חוזר לדבר זה, the expression of nechama, the specificity, all of that is missing. The Rambam is, it's no, this doesn't really, doesn't resolve the contradiction at all. We know where the Rambam draws this formulation from: the Gemara at the end of Masechet Yoma on daf pay zayin tells us that viduy is supposed to be said standing, me'umad. The Gemara tells us that Shmuel hava yativ, he would be sitting. כי אתא שליחא דציבורא when the shliach tzibur would would come to viduy ואמר אבל אנחנו חטאנו, kam mikamei. So he would stand for that phrase, presumably according to the Rambam it means chatanu avinu pashanu. אמר שמע מינה עיקר וידוי האי הוא. So this is the the essential viduy. So that's where the Rambam draws it from, but it doesn't really shed light on this discrepancy between the viduy of Yom Kippur and the viduy which is prescribed all year long. Something very striking in in the Mishna a little bit earlier here in Yoma, the Mishna in פה עמוד ב: חטאת ואשם ודאי מכפר. If a person, rachmana litzlan, has occasion, he sins and and it's one of those sins which, were he to commit bemezid, he would incur a chiyuv kares, rachmana litzlan, he brings a korban chatas, averas chata'im, different types of theft, me'ilah, etc. for which a person brings an asham vadai, so the Mishna says that חטאת ואשם ודאי מכפר. Then the Mishna continues and says מיתה ויום הכיפורים מכפרים עם התשובה. That rachmana litzlan, misa, as well as Yom Kippur are also sources of atonement together with teshuva. The coupling of Yom Hakippurim together with misa אינו אומר אלא דרשני. The, I think, the mefarshei hamishnayos ask, chatas and asham also require teshuva, so why didn't the tanna of the Mishna just string all four together? chatas, asham, misa, ויום הכיפורים מכפרים עם התשובה. It only accentuates the first observation of the coupling of misa and Yom Hakippurim. So perhaps if we reflect a little bit on the mechaper, rachmana litzlan, if we reflect on misa as a source of atonement, perhaps that will give us some insight into Yom Kippur. Chatas and asham clearly are very specific, delineated mechaperim. A chatas doesn't provide general atonement, it doesn't, it doesn't... clear one's record entirely, but it's brought for a specific cheit. The Chatas is set aside for the specific cheit, it's brought for a specific cheit and it provides atonement for that cheit. The same is true for an Asham Vadai. Misa by contrast is a general mechaper. The Mishna says in Sanhedrin while it's appropriate that a person when confronting his mortality say a more elaborate viduy, it suffices if a person will say תהא מיתתי כפרה על כל עוונותי because Misa Rachmana Litzlan is a general mechaper. Let's reflect a little bit further. If one imagines a scenario where a person is doing teshuva on his deathbed and there's nothing ambiguous about the state of affairs. It's clear that that's where things are holding. So clearly there's no room for that person in his teshuva in his viduy to say לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. It's obviously a statement which is because it's totally irrelevant, it's totally out of place. לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה is a statement a person makes when he's in the middle of the course. When a person has run the course, so the teshuva and the viduy don't express themselves through לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. Bishas Misa the viduy is a simple unequivocal heartfelt acknowledgment, not so much of specific shortcomings, but in general Ribono Shel Olam you placed your trust in me and I didn't live up to it. There's no need necessarily for pirut hacheit and there's certainly no room for the affirmation of לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. Why does the Tanna mention Yom HaKippurim in in the same breath with Misa?

אדם נידון בראש השנה וגזר דין שלא נחתם ביום הכיפורים.

So what is it that's sealed on Yom HaKippurim? We hope, we pray that we emerge in the category of tzaddikim and we're nechtamim l'chayim. So what does nechtamim l'chayim entail? It means that HaKadosh Baruch Hu on Rosh Hashanah and Yom HaKippurim decides, decrees the fate of kol ba'ei olam for the coming year. It means that we're nechtamim we hope b'ezrat Hashem l'chayim but for the coming year. The lease on life is not given an open-ended indefinite renewal. The lease on life is renewed for a year. We're nechtamim l'chayim for a year. It's interesting the same Gemara that we mentioned before at the end of Yoma where it talks about the ten viduyim over the course of Yom HaKippurim, so the Baraita explains why it is that we're misvadeh on מנחה ערב יום הכיפורים as well. So the the text as Rashi has it is that amru chachamim yisvadeh. before the seuda of Erev Yom Kippur. So the girsa which Rashi has which we have printed in our Gemaras is שמא תטרף דעתו בסעודה. Literally, lest he become confused. Meaning, according to Rashi, shema yishtaker, lest he become drunk and because of that miss some or maybe even all of the viduyim of Yom Kippur. Wine was their staple beverage, a person wants to drink a little bit extra before a ta'anis, so it's not such a far-fetched possibility that a person could be mishtaker, could become intoxicated Erev Yom HaKippurim. The girsa which the Rif has and clearly the Rambam had as well is שמא יארע דבר תקלה בסעודה. Lest a mishap occur in the seuda, which the Rambam translates and writes in the halachos, shema yechaneik, lest a person rachmana litzlan choke while eating before Yom Kippur. It's not a concern that we generally entertain. In general, we don't, and in different contexts in halacha, we don't, we operate with a chazkas chayim and שמא ימות לזמן קרוב לא חיישינן. We don't generally entertain such concerns for a healthy person, for a young healthy person, we don't entertain such concerns. All of a sudden here in Erev Yom HaKippurim, so Chazal say that we should say, according to the Rif and the Rambam, we should be misvadeh in mincha shema yechaneik. So perhaps that's the pshat. Perhaps the pshat is that Yom HaKippurim a person is supposed to approach with a sense of uncertainty. Not only a sense of uncertainty about whether or not the lease on life is going to be renewed for the coming year, but even maybe that's reinforced by a sense of uncertainty as to who knows what the decree was last Yom Kippur. And the standard is a different standard to try to awaken within us the sense of tenuousness, the sense of of things being indefinite. One wonders. The Lechem Mishneh raises a question. The Rambam writes in

פרק ג הלכה ג, כשם ששוקלין עוונות אדם וזכויותיו בשעת מיתתו כך בכל שנה ושנה.

That kesheim and kach reverberates especially meaningfully in light of what we're talking about. So the Rambam says

כך בכל שנה ושנה שוקלין עוונות כל אחד ואחד מבאי העולם עם זכויותיו ביום טוב של ראש השנה. מי שנמצא צדיק נחתם לחיים. מי שנמצא רשע נחתם למיתה.

One who's found to be wicked rachmana litzlan, nechtam l'misa. He's sealed for misa. Ve'habeinoini, one whose where the scale is balanced, תולין לו עד יום הכיפורים. So then judgment is suspended until Yom HaKippurim. אם עשה תשובה נחתם לחיים ואם לאו נחתם למיתה. If a person repents during the Aseres Yemei Teshuva, so then he'll be sealed for life and if not, rachmana litzlan, l'misa. The Lechem Mishneh asks the question,

וכי לא עשה תשובה אמאי נחתם למיתה והוי מחצה על מחצה.

Still mechtza al mechtza. He answers because It's a little bit more complicated than we have time to go into, but one wonders if additionally the pshat is because he has to tip the scales in his favor in order to have the lease on life renewed. It's not necessarily that the default position is that a person is entitled to be nechtam lachaim. So perhaps the pshat in the Mishna where the Mishna says that מיתה ויום הכפורים מכפרים, the Mishna is telling us that Yom Kippur is a bechina. The teshuvah of Yom Kippur, the requirements, the mindset, is fundamentally the same as that of sha'as misa. The teshuvah of Yom Kippur, the mechaper of Yom Kippur, not like the chatas and asham, is not a clearly delimited, delineated one, but a general one. As the Nesivos Shalom, the Slonimer Rebbe writes, that the kapara of Yom Kippur is—the object of the kapara is not the avon, it's not the avon that's cleansed, it's the person who's cleansed. We find the phrase in the pasuk, אם יכופר העוון הזה. One can speak of the direct object of kapara of cleansing being the avon, or it can be yechaper aleichem. The kapara is a general one. Kapara, the person is cleansed. Like misa, Yom Kippur is a mechaper klali, a general source of atonement. And as such, it invites a general, all-encompassing teshuvah. And again, such a teshuvah doesn't require perisha mehachet. With the awareness that when a person stands on Yom Kippur, his lease granted him last year is about to expire, here too the teshuvah is not happening in the middle of the course. The halachos of the teshuvah, of teshuvah, just as for yom hamisa, beshas misa, don't include לעולם איני חוזר לדבר הזה. That's the awareness and that's the mindset a person has in the teshuvah on Yom Kippur. And that's why there's no requirement on the Yom Kippur Vidui of לעולם איני חוזר לדבר הזה. And it could be that this goes so far—the third discrepancy between the two viduyim is that in Perek Aleph the Rambam requires that a person also say nichamti u'voshti. And that too is missing in the Vidui Yom Kippur. It could be the pshat as follows. The Rambam writes in

פרק ב הלכה ב ומה היא התשובה הוא שיעזוב החוטא חטאו

that the sinner leaves, abandons his sin, veyasirehu mimachshavto, he totally, totally removes it from his, from his thoughts. It's something which becomes inconceivable.

ויגמור בלבו שלא יעשהו עוד שנאמר יעזוב רשע דרכו ואיש און מחשבותיו.

Then the Rambam says, vechein, and as well, yisnachem al she'avar. After this After this process of teshuvah, a person should also experience a sense of remorse, שנאמר כי אחרי שובי נחמתי. After I have repented, I experienced pangs of remorse. And it's clear that the Rambam wants us to notice the sequencing in the pasuk. The Rambam tells us about the nechama, the remorse, happening after a person repents. A person repents, he acknowledges, he ceases and desists, and then subsequently the person then can experience and express a sense of remorse. That hiatus which allows for the visnachaim al she'avar doesn't exist for the teshuva b'shas misa. The v'acharei shuvi doesn't exist. Teshuvah b'shas misa rachmana litzlan is designed to allow עד דכדוכה של נפש, is designed to allow for teshuva at the very last moment. There simply isn't the time for the acharei shuvi nichamti to play itself out. And that's why all those elements are not present in the vidui b'shas misa, and that's what the Mishnah is telling us: מיתה ויום הכפורים מכפרים, that if we really want to understand what the yamei hadin are about, if we want to have a sobering reality check, so basically the teshuva v'yom hakippurim is a bechina of teshuva yom hamisa, when the lease is about to expire with no guarantee that it's about to be renewed. The teshuvah is a general one and all-encompassing one. It's at the end of a course, not in the middle of a course. There's no room for לעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה. There isn't even time for the process, for the dynamic of acharei shuvi nichamti to play itself out. What does all this translate into halacha l'maaseh in terms of our approach, our experience in the days leading up to the yamim noraim? First of all, reflecting upon this should instill within us זוחלים ורועדים מיום בא אחד, a sense of awe and dread. But simultaneously and precisely for the same reason that Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippurim are yamei yira v'pachad, precisely because since last year's lease is expiring, the sense of fright and insecurity that that engenders. But it also generates tremendous possibilities because what it means is that kaparas Yom Kippurim offers not only an amnesty for a cheit, not only an amnesty for chataim, but a new start. The Slonimer Rebbe also quotes a Medrash Shocher Tov, where Chazal say on the phrase in Sefer Tehillim, עם נברא יהלל יה, a people just now newly formed, newly created, praise Hakadosh Boruch Hu, refers to Klal Yisrael on Yom Kippur. So that same sobering reality of the lease due to expire means that the possibility and the promise of kappara if only we do teshuva is not simply, again, not simply to duck the punishment, not simply forgiveness, but to begin anew, to be able to leave behind all the follies and all the pettiness, all the katnus hamochin, and to begin as a new person. In truth, all year long as well, that's what we should be striving to accomplish through our teshuva. The Rambam, elaborating the Gemara in Rosh Hashana of ארבעה דברים מקריעין גזר דינו של אדם, writes, מדרכי התשובה להיות השב צועק תמיד לפני ה'. The lifestyle of teshuva entails that the penitent is always crying out before Hakadosh Boruch Hu bevchi uvetachanunim, with tears, beseeching Hakadosh Boruch Hu. עושה צדקה כפי כחו, he’s involved in acts of charity according to his ability, his resources. ומתרחק הרבה מן הדבר שחטא בו, he distances himself greatly from that area in which he sinned. Umeshaneh shemo, changes his name, klomar she'ani acher, I’m a different person, ואיני אותו האיש שעשה אותן המעשים, I’m not the same person who committed those actions. ומשנה מעשיו כולם לטובה, and everything, his whole routine, all his actions in every sphere of activity, everything is upgraded, everything is overhauled, ומשנה מעשיו כולם לטובה ולדרך ישרה. So all year long, that avodah is ours unilaterally to accomplish. Ve'eini oto ha'ish has to be an act of self-recreation. The greatness of Yom Kippur is that here Hakadosh Boruch Hu says, you do teshuva and I recreate you, because what you walk away with after the tekiat shofar on motzei Yom Kippur is a new start, a new you, ve'eini oto ha'ish, one's life has been renewed. And that hitchadshus, that hitchadshus creates for us what all year long is our responsibility to do ourselves. The Rav zichrono livracha once said, probably more than once, in a drasha about Yom Kippur, that when we say that עיצומו של יום מכפר, עצמו של יום מכפר, that the day itself is endowed with the capacity to provide atonement, the potency of the day is linked. To the degree to which a person experiences the kedushas hayom of Yom Hakippurim and the degree to which each one of us feels, lives, experiences Yom Hakippurim, קץ מחילה וסליחה זמן תשובה לכל ליחיד ולרבים, the degree to which each and every one of us feels, taps into and experiences, it's to that degree that the day possesses the itzumo shel yom and is mechaper. So on the one hand, it's a very, very sobering reality check, but on the other hand the promise of the day is virtually unlimited. But the more that we prepare ahead of time to be an am nivrah, the more that we in the next two weeks try not only to make minor adjustments but to overhaul, to reorder priorities, change patterns of thought, to make wholesale change in our lives, the more we do that, so then the more we empower the kedushas hayom of Yom Hakippurim that we will be recreated and that the lease on life which is granted on Yom Kippur will be one with a sense of hischadshus. To reorder priorities, the nisayon with the hay hayediya of life is that we're supposed to cope with and address the mundane and ephemeral needs and challenges, whether in terms of health, whether in terms of parnassah, without losing sight of what the goal of life really is and what life is really about. And the nisayon is a constant one. The constant involvement, the constant necessary involvement and addressing mundane and ephemeral, the allure which it can have, means that it's a constant nisayon. And certainly in looking to become an am nivrah, we need to check whether or not the balance is correct. The balance first of all axiologically in terms of what am I striving for in life? What really, really is central to my life? And does my routine reflect it? Is my routine and my allocation of time consistent with those axiological priorities? Patterns of thought, perhaps the most fundamental is a sense of anavah, of humility. A person's dependence upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu is complete and absolute. Ga'avah is the most irrational, irrational experience a person can have. Our life is not our own, our existence is not our own, we're beholden to Hakadosh Baruch Hu for everything. But here too, as obvious and compelling as it is, it's a very big nisayon. It's a very big nisayon because the same capacity that we have and that we're supposed to have for self-love and for healthy self-esteem can easily, easily overflow and create an imbalance and can translate into ga'avah. And here too, it's a constant nisayon. When a person strikes the right balance, it's something which not only will be reflected in his bein adam lamakom but it has to be reflected in his bein adam lachaveiro as well. Perhaps we spoke once about the mashal. Consider the following mashal. A person standing in a very, very long line. The line is hours and hours of wait in front of him, whether the line's in the bank or whether the line's in a store. Some mchutzuf cuts the line, goes to the front. People have been waiting for hours on end, they have hours and hours of waiting yet in front of them, and this mchutzuf cuts to the front. There's universal, almost universal outrage. There's one person who doesn't react, doesn't say anything, doesn't join in the chorus of condemnation and yelling and cursing, doesn't react. Someone goes over to him and asks, "Where do you get that self-discipline? How are you mevater? How are you ma'avir al midosecha like that?" So he says, "Well, I'll tell you. The truth is, I also think that what he did isn't really right." He says, "But don't tell anyone, I'm an illegal alien here. I have no standing. I don't feel like I have any rights. I don't have any rights that I have a right to be makpid about other people." כי גרים ותושבים אתם עמדי. If as part of the major wholesale change we could be more successful in living with that sense of indebtedness, of beholdenness, of dependence upon Hakadosh Baruch Hu, it would totally, totally transform our bein adam lachaveiro as well. But the Rambam writes in Perek Aleph Hilchos Teshuva Halacha Gimmel בזמן שאין בית המקדש קיים when the Beis Hamikdash is not standing ואין לנו מזבח כפרה and we don't have the mizbe'ach

אין שם אלא תשובה. התשובה מכפרת על כל העבירות, אפילו רשע כל ימיו ועשה תשובה באחרונה, אין מזכירין לו שום רשע, שנאמר ורשעת הרשע לא ייכשל בה ביום שובו מרשע.

K'fi hamedumeh, in light of what we've been talking about, when the Rambam writes התשובה מכפרת על כל העבירות, he doesn't simply mean that teshuva can target and be effective with regard to each and every aveira, but התשובה מכפרת על כל העבירות means that one broad stroke of teshuva, one honest, sincere, heartfelt Aval anachnu chatanu has the ability to be מכפר על כל העבירות. Because that's the follow-up, that אפילו רשע כל ימיו ועשה תשובה באחרונה, he doesn't have time to review 95 years of chataim. התשובה מכפרת על כל העבירות means that teshuva, not only does it have the ability, not only does it have the ability again to target specific chataim, but teshuva in broad strokes, in a broad stroke, can be מכפר על כל העבירות. The same way in the previous halacha, the sa'ir hamishtaleiach functioned Bizman HaMikdash, today that we have no mizbeiach kappara, teshuva has that capacity. The focusing on the specific chataim certainly is crucial in these days to help instill that awareness. But the goal is to be able to comment that simply Aval b'kushta chatanu and to look to kapparas Yom HaKippurim to allow us to become an am nivra, עם נברא יהלל יה, with the opportunity for a new beginning with new priorities, with new patterns of thought. שנוכל לזכות לתשובה שלימה, gut yohr, ksiva v'chasima tova.